"First thing tomorrow morning you'll be executed..." Negan's words repeat over and over in your mind as you silently watch him walk out the door.
(I can't feel my senses, I just feel the cold)
Once you hear the sound of the door locking and Negan's footsteps leading him further away; that's when you finally breakdown. Sinking down to the floor, tears streaming down your face at the realization that man you love had just sentenced you to death.
(All colors seem to fade away, I can't reach my soul)
Did you regret what you did? No, you didn't and you never would. If you hadn't put an end to them, then they would have killed Negan and everything would have fallen apart without him. The Sanctuary wouldn't survive without Negan, you wouldn't survive without Negan.
(I would stop running, If I knew there was a chance)
Would you have done things differently if you had a chance to go back? No, you wouldn't, you would do it again in a heartbeat if Negan's life was on the line. He was the love of your life and if saving his life meant forfeiting your own, then so be it.
(It tears me apart to sacrifice it all, But I'm forced to let go)
That night you cried yourself to sleep in the corner of your little cell, making peace with everything that happened as you bid farewell to your life.
The Next Morning
(Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?)
"Boss, are you really sure about going through with this?" Simon looks at Negan concerningly. "I don't really have a fucking choice, now do I Simon. What's done is done and I can't save Y/N from this. Even though she's mine, I can't save her from what she did..." Negan sighs in utter defeat.
(Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you)
"I'm sorry Boss, if only she'd tell you why she did it. Maybe it would make more sense and could save her" Simon tries to console Negan. "It's already too late Si; besides Y/N told me that she couldn't, that she promised she wouldn't. But that she did it for me... whatever the fuck that means, I really don't fucking know" Negan shakes his head in confusion.
(When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you)
"Come on we have an execution to attend" Negan orders grabbing Lucille and leaves the office. "This is a big mistake you're making Negan" Simon softly whispers, shaking his head.
(You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?)
You're awoken by the sound of the cell door opening; a smug looking Dwight stands in the doorway grinning at you.
"Today's D-day for ya princess" Dwight announces; grabbing hold of your arm, roughly dragging you up from the floor. You remain silent instead, only stare into his eyes; your face void of any emotions as he drags you out of the cell.
An anxious looking Simon is waiting at the side exit door when you guys reached it "I'll take it from here D, thanks, ya can go now; the Boss doesn't want an audience for this" Simon gently takes hold of your arm, sending a pissed Dwight on his way.
Simon turns you to face him "we both know this is a bunch of bullshit, right?" he says trying to get you to look him in the eyes. You instead continue to blankly stare ahead of you.
"Come on then, if you're not going to say anything then I can't help you..." he sighs and leads you out to the courtyard.
While making his way through the corridors; Dwight notices Doc standing in front of your room, knocking on the door and calling out your name.
"Is there something I can help ya with Doc?" Dwight asks walking up to him.
"I'm actually looking for Y/N; she was supposed to come see me yesterday about something, but she never came" Doc explains to him.
"You don't know? Where have you been this entire time, Doc" Dwight looks at him amused.
" Actually, I've been held up in my office doing admin since yesterday. What haven't I heard?" Doc question him in confusion.
"Well, Y/N's at the execution right now" Dwight states. "Execution? Who's being executed?" Doc looks at him surprised.
"She is!" Dwight chuckles at Doc's confusion.
"What?! No! I have to stop them! Dwight, where is she, where is it happening?!" Doc grabs hold of Dwight's shirt, shaking him for answers.
"Left side courtyard... what's going on Doc?" Dwight seems confused at his reaction.
"I don't have time to explain, I just hope that I can make it time!" He yells running off, leaving a confused Dwight alone in the corridor.
"I'm sorry to being doing this kiddo..." Simon tells you as your arms are secured behind your back. Finally looking him in the eyes "it's ok Si, I understand" you say, giving him a faint smile, while he sadly stares back at you. "Simon, it's time! Get the blindfold" Negan yells from where his standing across the courtyard.
(I can feel your sorrow)
"No! Leave the blindfold, I want to look at your face when you kill me" you turn to look at Negan. "Is there anything you'd like to say before we procced, maybe why you really fucking did it?" Negan's eyes are narrowed as he addresses you.
You then notice; a very frightened looking Eugene standing further to Negan's left, visibly trembling as he looks on to hear your response. Giving Eugene a smile, you turn back to gaze towards Negan.
(You won't forgive me, But I know you'll be alright)
"No, I have nothing further to say on that, because I made a promise and I intend to keep it. But I do have one thing to say and that is... I love you Negan and I always will. You might not believe me now, but I want you to remember that everything I did... I did it for you and I forgive you for what you're about to do" you give him a tear-filled head nod to procced.
(It tears me apart that you will never know)
Your vision then starts to blur from the tears threatening to spill as you watch five saviors' step up in front of you, rifles ready at their sides. You watch as they steady their weapons, taking a deep breath you turn back to look towards Negan and Simon as you await for the end to come.
When you finally make eye contact with Negan, you notice that they are filled with tears. Negan suddenly flinches, abruptly turning away as the sound of the men taking their aim is heard; not being able to look at you while you're about to die.
(But I have to let go)
Everything seems to play out in slow motion then; in the split second you heard one of the men shout "fire!" you also hear another voice screaming something you couldn't make out, and then all you felt was a sharp pain before suddenly everything around you went dark.
"No! Negan, stop!" Doc screams running out through the door; but as the words leaves his mouth, the sound of the rifles simultaneously being fired is heard as well, making him to late to save Y/N.
Negan watches in utter shock as Doc rushes pass Simon and him; pushing the other men out of his way to get to Y/N. "No-no...! God, please no!" Doc is cry screaming as tries to desperately resuscitate Y/N.
"Doc, what the fuck do you think you're doing" Negan looks at him in anger. "You-you... killed her!" he accuses Negan with tears streaming down his face.
"Yeah, I had to... because of what she did, I... had no other choice..." Negan sighs in deep regret. "No! You don't understand... Y/N was pregnant and... You killed her!" Doc openly begins to sob.
"What?... Why didn't she say anything?" Simon looks at him in shock, while a dumbstruck Negan stands frozen listening to everything.
"Because she didn't know yet. She was supposed to come see me for the test results after the meeting yesterday, but she never came..." Doc gets up and sighs sadly staring at Y/N's lifeless body.
"N...No!" Negan screeches out loudly, dropping to his knees at Y/N's body. Gently Negan gathers Y/N's limp body into his arms "sweetheart pl-please... wake up!" he loudly sobs out as he carefully brushes the hair out of her face, rocking her back and forth.
(Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?)
"Why?! Why couldn't you tell me?!" Negan screams out as his tears rapidly falls onto Y/N's pale face. "Be-Because she was protecting me... this is all my fault" Eugene sobs out loudly dropping to the fall. "What the heck are you talking about man?" Simon turns to look at him.
(Can't tell the reason, I did it for you)
"She found out that the Wives were trying to kill Negan, and that they almost tricked me into helping them do it." Eugene stammers as the tears run down his face. "The poison that she killed them with... it was what they had me make in order to kill you with" he looks at Negan "I begged her out of fear; to not tell you about my involvement with it, but I did not think she would take it into her own hands to deal with them instead"
"You're the person she was protecting?" Simon mutters in shock. Before Eugene could nod in confirmation; the loud banging sound of a gun going off is heard. Eugene's lifeless body falls over, a bullet hole visible in the centre of his forehead. Turning around in shock, Simon finds an enraged Negan holding the gun that he had grabbed from Simon's side without even being noticed.
(When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you)
Handing the gun back to Simon, Negan goes back to cradling Y/N in his arms; gently rocking her while his face is buried in her hair. "Negan, I'm sorry to do this but... you have to put her down properly before she turns" Simon softly speaks to him.
Negan places his hand on Y/N's stomach "I'm sorry baby... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry that I killed you and our baby..." he sobbingly whispers into her hair, taking his knife and very gently pushes it into the side of her skull.
(You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?)
Having found a quiet and secluded spot far away from The Sanctuary; Negan make the decision to bury Y/N and their unborn child there. Not long after; everything begins to spiral out of control then, as Negan's guilt over what he did soon starts to eat at him.
(Everything will slip away)
Within a few weeks; Simon turns on him and Negan is forced to kill him for his betrayal, soon after that, full on war breaks out between The Sanctuary and Alexandria. Negan's mind isn't fully with him during that time due to grief and guilt; resulting in him loosing the war and becoming a prisoner of Alexandria.
(Shattered pieces will remain)
Negan soon begins to lose his mind as he sits alone in his cell; thoughts of Y/N, their unborn child and the life the three of them could have had, constantly haunting him. The torturing realization; that he should have listened to his heart, instead of his head and what those bastards at The Sanctuary were demanding of him to do.
(When memories fade into emptiness)
"But it's too late now... way too fucking late... I killed the only women that still loved me in this shithole of a world and our unborn child..." Negan whispers to himself. "I killed them because she loved me enough to sacrifice everything for my safety... and I repaid her by killing them..." he bursts out sobbing.
(Only time will tell its tale, If it all has been in vain)
"I should have fucking died when Rick slit my throat... I wish I had died! It's what I fucking deserve for what I did to you baby!" Negan cries out loudly, staring up at the air and then suddenly begins trashing his cell in a fit of rage.
Its during that time that Negan notices that part of the metal fixture of his bed had come loose; he silently stares at it for a minute, picks it up and begins sharpening it against the stone walls.
(I can't feel my senses, I just feel the cold)
Negan slowly lowers himself down into the far corner of his cell, the sharp metal piece clutched in his hand. "I'm so sorry for killing you and our baby, Y/N... I miss and love you both so much..." he tearfully whispers as he begins to cut deep into his wrist with the metal. "You said, that you forgave me... So, I'm hoping I could come be with you and our baby now. Pl-please... let me be with you..." Negan softly begs, his vision going black as his lifeforce begins to leave his body.
(Frozen... But what can I do? Frozen...)