Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter. This is my response to the twenty-second Froday Madness prompt, which is "Idiots in Love." I went with one idiot - Regulus, who's completely clueless, which is touched upon towards the end.

Amortentia

"Old books."

Laughter erupted from his fellow Slytherin attending sixth-year potions with him. His mouth twisted from lack of amusement, not understanding why they found his response to Slughorn's question hilarious.

"And," Regulus couldn't recognize what else he smelled, so he stopped speaking, shaking his head instead. There was a definite confusion in the back of his head regarding the answer to Slughorn's question let alone why his fellow house mates found his answer hilarious whereas the other students from the other houses said nothing.

"Black's in love with the library," chortled one of the Slytherin's in question.

"Well, that's absolutely no surprise at all," another one of the boys laughed while the girls continued to giggle. "Heir Black is always glued to the book or in the library."

Regulus opened his mouth, wanting to say he wasn't heir Black, only for it to snap shut, knowing full well he'd been heir Black ever since Sirius ran away from home which in turn ended everyone's lack of interest in what Sirius' younger brother was doing—practically nobody had realized he was actually on their Quidditch team in the Seeker position until the start of last year.

One of the Slytherin's in question wrapped an arm around Regulus' shoulder as if they were friends—they were not, particularly since the other Slytherin's in his year either ignored him if they weren't taking their frustrations with Sirius out on him in some manner. And the girls—they went from wrinkling their nose at him and his odd behavior to whispering and pointing, excited about something.

Which—somehow, perhaps because someone literally spelled it out to him, was because the girls were suddenly interested in him, hoping to be able to marry into the prestigious Black family. To which Regulus, even though he may have had to have that spelled out to him, did understand that they'd not seen him as worth pursuing as a marriage canidate simply because of his status as a member of the Black family because of the his eccentrecies he was all to aware of despite Walburga and the rest of the family being ever so oblivious to what his peers was.

He was only worthy once marrying him meant becoming the future matriarch of the Black family and gaining the power that came from being the family matriarch. " Not that maman would let that role go without a fight, not that they would understand that. "

But their interest led to some rather uncomfortable interactions with the opposite sex, not that he'd ever been comfortable interacting with anybody. And ever since Sirius left, the former heir had told Regulus so many times that Regulus had gotten what he'd always wanted, yet in the back of his mind he knew he didn't like being touched so carelessly, if at all despite there being a part of him since first year that missed Sirius touching him.

He'd become numb to the touch, knowing reacting would result in even more unwanted attention whereas there would have possibly been a time when he did in fact react to sudden, unwanted touch in a manner which would have resulted Slughorn being called in, although in this case it would have been right in front of Slughorn.

"Sorry ladies," one of them—he really didn't know them, chuckled. "Look likes heir Black is taken."

"Now, now. Settle down," Slughorn said, drawing Regulus attention back to his professor. He felt even more confused—even like an idiot for not understanding what was going on. He turned his head, not looking at anyone in particular, wishing he could just brush the hand of the other Slytherin away. He knew there name—or he should. Given they shared a dorm, yet the name escaped him, being neither of them gave each other the time of day with Regulus keeping to himself.

They weren't friends, yet the other Slytherin boys acting like they were and always have been was honestly perturbing. Slughorn dismissed the class and Regulus thought that would be the end of things, only for the head of their house to call him out. "Regulus. Can I speak with you?"

"Uh, sure," Regulus said despite not actually being sure. After all, the professor had singled him out and that could involve some rather awkward conversations. "Scratch that. Every conversation I have with every single person is awkward."

"So, who's the lucky girl?"

"What?" Regulus stared, confused.

"The girl for whom you associate the smell of old books?" Slughorn continued.

And Regulus stared, still confused.

Slughorn stared back. He then said. "Young man then?"

Regulus opened his mouth, still staring and then said, "Appologies professor, but I don't follow what you're getting at."

"My dear boy! You're ever so bright, yet there's a tendency for certain things to go over your head."

Regulus pushed his lips together, hating the fact Slughorn said something he knew quite well, particularly when the professor was quite good at not saying what Regulus thought was overly obvious to everyone but members of the Black family. Even Sirius went on, wining about how perfect he was, when he wasn't. "And what's going over my head?"

"Amortentia. It smells like the object of your affections dear boy, but there must be someone."

"There can't be," Regulus said. "I'm not particularly close to anybody."

"Oh, but you don't have to be particularly close to anyone, but the fact you smelled something—it does means you know them well enough to associate something with them."

"I'm not into sex like Sirius is," Regulus protested. He glanced away. "I'm still—well, that."

"There's nothing wrong with that! Being a virgin." Slughorn spoke low. "And yes, I know that quite a few of like Sirius have been experimenting, so to speak, but…."

Regulus spoke quickly. "I'm not like my brother."

"Well, there's that. Sirius is the type whose passions are more likely to burn hot and quick. You—you're not like that, but if you ever figure out who it is you've fallen for," Slughorn said, "And you have fallen for someone, my dear boy, feel free to come and ask me for advice. Particularly given—well, how things are at home for you."

"I'm not, though, interested in anybody. I'm sure I know if I was attracted to someone. But I'm not. And relationships don't really interest me. I mean the romance kind, that Sirius is into. He's—perverse." Regulus frowned.

"Your brother is perverse."

"Sirius isn't," Regulus frowned. Saying Sirius wasn't his brother wouldn't make sense, not unless he reworded it, or so he learned a long time ago. "You know he doesn't think of me as family."

"But he is."

"And maman says he's not family any more."

"But is that what you want."

"No. Of course not. But don't tell anybody that."

"Never," Slughorn said. "You know your secrets are safe with me." To which Slughorn looked at his left arm. "And if you ever think that—well, if you ever find you've gotten in to deep into something, that it isn't for you…."

"You've told me that. Thanks," Regulus said. "Can I leave now?"

"Yes. Yes you can."

Regulus breathed in deep, reaching for his school bag and heading out. On instinct he headed straight for the next place he was meant to be for the day when he felt one of the other students in his year elbow him in the ribs. He flinched away.

"So, you're in love with the library, huh?"

"Not funny," Regulus said.

"Come on. Everyone knows the object of your affection is studying, Black," the person said making kissing noises.

"And your joke isn't funny." He glared at the person, hoping it was that look Black's were supposed to have when they wanted to be left alone. He really didn't know, though. The person laughed and walked away. Leaving him there. Regulus continued to class, potions class and the Amortentia they made that day forgotten.

At least for the time being.

He felt someone grab onto his shoulder as he was on the way to the Great Hall, turning him so he was forced to face that person. His entire body tensed up as they pushed him against the wall, while he felt the person get closer to him, their hot breath on his face. He tensed, knowing right away without even looking—he knew the way they smelled—that it was Sirius.

"So,"

"What do you want?" Regulus looked away, knowing Sirius only came and found him to interact when he thought it would provide him with some kind of amusement.

"What's this I hear about you being in love with the library, little one?"

Regulus glared, irritated that Sirius decided to bring up the fact he was only a year below Sirius yet still inches away from being as tall as his older brother. And he didn't want to talk about the potions class.

And Sirius smirked, waiting for a response.

Regulus finally let out a sigh. "Just leave me alone, alright?"

"But I don't want to leave you alone," Sirius laughed. "They said Amortentia smelled like old books to you."

"That's really none of your business. Not that it's a big deal, so I don't see why you and everyone else is making a big deal out of it."

"Really?" Sirius leaned close, whispering into his ear. "I never thought my cold hearted, monster of a little brother would ever fall in love. So it's got to be the library that turns you on, right?"

Regulus tensed, wanting to slug Sirius at that point. He'd learned a long time ago, before even entering Hogwarts that reacting on emotions was frowned upon, that Black's didn't show emotions—they didn't show weaknesses. Sirius though—he didn't ever learn those lessons.

"Who would have thought, baby Black. What's your mother going to say, that you're more interested in books than girls?"

"Sirius, if you're trying to get a rise out of me, it's not going to work. And I honestly don't get why you're making such a big deal about it." Regulus continued glaring at his older brother. "It's some kind of weird joke, isn't it?"

"That's what I thought when I heard that my brother was some lovesick idiot, because there's absolutely no way that you could have fallen in love with someone, the cold blooded monster that you are."

Regulus glared, his entire body tensing slightly. He wanted to tell Sirius the cold blooded one—the one who didn't love anyone was his brother, who'd run away and abandoned the family—the one who accused him of wanting to be heir, when all he ever wanted was for things to go back to the way they were—family.

"Oh. Perhaps one could you argue that you love that monster of a mother of yours?"

"She's your mother as well," Regulus said, his head shooting up, so he could glare defiantly at his brother—at least until looking him in the eye got to be too much. And then Regulus looked away.

"I'm not the one who's a mommies boy, Reg."

And so he'd made the mistake of responding, of giving Sirius ammo to use against him.

"It's rather sick being into your own mother, you know."

"Sirius," Regulus found himself gritting his teeth. "Don't go there."

"But old books aren't her thing, are they. I guess they're the old man's?"

Regulus sucked in his breath, and suddenly shoved Sirius. He'd not planned on shoving his brother hard—he'd not planned on shoving him at all, because that just wasn't hs thing, but then Sirius was there, standing at him, a few feet away while Regulus looked at his brother wide eyed. It was sick, what his brother thought.

And Sirius stared, wide-eyed. "What the?"

"Don't!" Regulus hissed. Others were passing, and suddenly he pushed Sirius away, down another corridor. He then hissed. "Don't talk about our father like that!" he said once he got away from the passing students.

"Why not?" Sirius said, looking down his nose at his much shorter brother. "And he's not my father."

"He bloody is! And he's never—don't you say that—I'm not sure what it is you're implying about papa but just stop!"

And Sirius continued looking down his nose at Regulus. "Oh, I'm not accusing him of anything, dear Regulus."

"Don't dear Regulus me," he said, irritated that Sirius would be so much trouble.

"Don't dear Regulus me," Sirius mocked back. "I'm not the one who's a lovesick fool pining after my own father." And Sirius held up his hands as if to surrender. "Think about that."

And Regulus glared. "I don't get it."

The smirk fell away from Sirius' face, his hands still held up. "You what?"

"I don't get what everyone's saying, or what you're saying about papa and me."

"You don't get what I'm saying?" Sirius asked. One of his eyebrows lifted up. "I'm saying you're in love with our father."

"And?" Regulus folded his arms, and one of his eyebrows lifted up.

"And?" A string of curses left Sirius' mouth. "You're bloody admitting it."

"I don't know what's wrong with it."

"You don't?" Sirius gave him the, "you're definitely a monster" look. "You sick little fuck!"

"For what? Caring about family?" Regulus shook his head. "Obviously, you're the one who's messed up."

"I'm not the one who's in love with our father!" Sirius blurted out. "And I'd only been joking!"

"Joking? Well, of course, you'd think me incapable of caring about someone. I'm a Black after all, and we're not supposed to have emotions. We're all cold-hearted monsters. But it's you who was cold-hearted, leaving us behind."

"That bloody family." The corner of his mouth twisted up slightly. "You're the one messed up in the head, wanting to replace your own mother."

"What?" Regulus frowned. "I do not what to replace maman. What are you talking about?"

"You're in love with our father Regulus. You just said so."

"And our mother," Regulus said.

"Bloody Merlin."

"Don't bloody Merlin me. I care about father, mother, grandfather. And Aunt Lucretia. And you. And Cissy. Bella. Not so much Lucius, but I'm getting used to him."

Sirius let out a curse. "Bloody Merlin. You've one messed up concept of family, Regulus."

"I'm not the one with a messed up concept of family," Regulus said.

"I'm not the one wanting to fuck my entire family!"

And Regulus stared.

Sirius shook his head, starting to walk away.

And then, "Bloody Merlin!"

Sirius tried to continue walking.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Regulus grabbed his brother.

"Let go, you freak!"

"I'm not the one accusing me of—what the hell is wrong with you, Sirius!"

And then Sirius shoved him into the wall. "Me? What's wrong with you?"

Regulus glared at him, a part of him wanting to cry despite knowing he shouldn't—that he had to lock that childish part of himself up.

"You're messed up in the head, Reg."

"I know that," Regulus said. I know that I'm messed up. But I'm not messed up that way. I'm not the one who confused me by saying I actually care about my family—which we all know you don't—for me wanting to fuck my entire family. Which is completely messed up."

"Then who are you in love with?"

"What?" Regulus frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the Amortentia," Sirius snapped.

"I'm not under the effects of Amortentia. Or do I look sickly to you?" Regulus said.

"You said you smelled old books."

"You weren't there."

"School's small, Reg. Word gets around. Those Slytherin geniuses say it's the library. Which makes sense. But they don't know what I know."

"About the time I spent in father's library? It's one of the few places I couldn't hear the two of you screaming at each other!" Regulus snapped. "It's not him."

"Well, it has to be someone. The library—that's not how Amortentia works, but it would be like you not to admit just how much of a love-sick fool you are!"

"And this is what I don't get!" Regulus said. "I don't get what the big deal about what Amortentia smells like!"

"Because it smells different to everybody," Sirius said.

"And I'm still not getting the point!"

"It smells like the person you're in love with, dufus!" Sirius said.

Regulus glanced down, his eyes blinking. "It doesn't smell like father."

"Then who does it smell like?"

"Who?" Regulus frowned. "It smells like someone?"

"Then who does it remind you of? Because whatever you smelled—it's something you associate with a specific person. Right?"

"I don't know."

"You don't—bloody Merlin." Sirius let go of him. "Why do you have to be so bloody clueless."

"Well, it's not really any of your concern, is it? You don't consider me family anymore, so don't worry about it," Regulus started to walk away.

"The Great Hall isn't that way," Sirius said.

"I'm not hungry anymore. And don't follow me!" Regulus said.

"As if I'd want to! Freak!"

Regulus felt a shudder go down his spine, feeling Sirius was the one who was a freak, given his accusations. He soon found a spot to read and pulled out his book—the one he'd gotten during his last break from the Muggle bookshop, thinking nothing of the place his grandfather had told him to go into so he'd have experience of interacting with Muggles.

He'd rather, after all, forget completely about the embarrassing situation.