Late summer. Days became warmer. When it got too hot, I escaped to the platform with Levi.

But nights were spent in Armin's temple. The reason he did not kick us out was that he was rarely even home. He began leaving with Petra, elsewhere, to make sure his treehouse was built the way he wanted. It must have been grueling for Petra. Armin had an art brain that was so complex, something told me that he made an overwhelming director.

"Levi?"

"Hm?"

"What's the date?"

"Uh..." his head was a ten-pound weight on my lap, "I think it's July."

Ever since that night, we've gotten closer physically. All while ignoring what happened. It was weird. Was it weird, or did I expect more of a reaction from him?

I twisted and rubbed his locks, in the same exact way. Did his scalp remember the feeling? It's been nearly a month. Did he remember anything at all?

I heard him suck his teeth. "Eren!" he almost yelled, swatting at my hand.

I gasped and let go of his hair. "Sorry," I said, pathetically. "I forget that you can feel pain. It just," I waved ambiguously around my head, "slipped my mind."

He sighed, returning to the position he was in before. "You don't even realize when you hurt me."

I grimaced inside. Of course, he was only teasing, but comments like those got to me. I really tried to be a good guy.

I ran my hand back through his hair to soothe the spot where I pulled too hard, like it would help. It just made things more awkward. Why was I rubbing his head?

Fuck this. I let go again. Just left it.

I looked to the ceiling and took the most restrained deep breath ever. Slow and silent, so he wouldn't hear me. Why was I the one overreacting?

We should talk about something. What should I say?

Would Petra pique his interest?

"I, um," I shook away the last of my humiliation, "I made friends with Petra."

"Of course you did," he said readily. "How do you like her?"

"She's alright." I stopped there. It was all I had to say about her. I felt sorry, but it was hard to pay attention to her when I kept thinking about that night.

That fucking night.

Yeah. I hit my limit. I couldn't do it anymore. I was done. What was I even doing, giving him my lap?

I simply slid his head off, placed it gently on the floor, got up, and left the room. I didn't have a route planned. I just wanted out.

"Eren?"

He called my name. Bewilderment. Again and again. I ignored him. His voice grew distant as I turned random corners and layered more walls in between us.

I looked straight ahead, hoping I didn't run into Armin. Left. Left. Right. Left. Left. Right. Right. An exit came into view. I marched through that hall, heading right for the light at the end, like I couldn't wait to die.

How was I going to explain myself when Levi caught up? Because he was definitely chasing after me. I didn't dare to look back for that reason.

I stepped into the light, my eyes clamming up momentarily. It had the potential to be a nice day, but I was sweating and panting. Still, I broke into a run.

Running from something, or someone is such a primal experience. The fear that they're gaining on you, that you're not fast enough. The fear of a dead end. Entering a manic state where your only priority is to constantly search for escape points. The only time where exhaustion was the easiest concern to throw out the window.

I leaned onto a tree, somewhere far away. My last stop. My lungs chugged the air on their own. All I had to do was keep my mouth open. I waited for Levi's hand on my shoulder or something.

If he got to me, I was going to have to be honest. Tell him the truth. We've been honest to each other this whole friendship. What was I scared of the truth for?

I finally scanned my surroundings. Trees were all around, but there were buildings in sight. I had driven myself into the outskirts of a forest. Levi was nowhere to be found. I guess I've been running on my own.

I sank to my knees at the base of the tree. Pressed my sleeve against my damp forehead, leaned against the bark, and breathed, like oxygen came from the trunk and not the leaves.

I thought about what I had just done. I couldn't believe I let myself go this far. I imagined it from Levi's perspective. Just hanging out, then all of a sudden being left in the dust, not knowing one bit what was going on.

All I wanted was to get away. How did things get this bad?

It was humid. My sweat did not cool me and the air was so thick and useless, I might as well had been breathing in smoke. All of a sudden, confronting Levi didn't seem so bad as long as he brought me to a better place than this.

"Eren."

No. Wait. I think I'd rather stay, after all.

"Eren?"

A leaf crunched under his feet. It sounded two meters away. He did not pant, or say anything other than my name. He repeated once more, "Eren."

"Shut up," I said. "Shut the fuck up."

I did not mean to be hostile, I just wanted him to go away.

Boldly, I glimpsed at him. He was confused.

Wait.

I looked again.

He wasn't confused. He felt something else, but I couldn't read it. I couldn't tell with him anymore.

One step at a time, he came forward. Hooked his hand under my arm. "Let's go," he said.

He chose not to teleport us. I let him drag me back to the temple the entire way through. I saw all the landmarks I remembered passing, in reversed order.

When we entered the hall I escaped from, he let go of me. I did not run this time. I followed like a dog and kept looking at the back of his head, afraid of getting questioned.

Without turning around, he said, "She's alright? What else?"

My knuckles turned white from gripping onto each other. "Not much else," I said, looking to my feet and watching them go.

I heard him laugh. "I thought so," he said.

After that, I didn't act up again. I never gave him a reason for this and he never asked.

"My main point is, I dislike certain memories. I don't care how interesting they make me, I would rather forget. Don't you have some of those?"

Yes.

Yes, I do.

That was only the calm before the storm. I should have appreciated it while it happened. Because that same week, I woke up to see a blonde man in the common area. It was not Armin, though he was there as well.

Armin saw me and closed his eyes as if in disappointment. It made me anxious.

"Eren?" It was the other blonde. I was rubbing my eyes but I stopped. How does he know of me?

I looked to Armin. He didn't urge me to lie, so I said, "That is me."

"I am Zeke." He reached out and I took his hand. He shook it with more vigor than I.

He looked like a weak Zeus, which made his name a lot more interesting.

"Hi, Zeke." My default line every time someone introduced their name.

"I heard that you're human?"

"…Yes."

"That is actually what I needed."

"It is?"

"Eren," Zeke was sitting at the round table. When he leaned forward to say something else, I thought the way he carried himself reminded me of a businessman. "It is generally discouraged for humans to be here, but you will not be in trouble if you come with us."

Armin side-eyed him as if to say, "Us?"

"Where are we going?" I asked.

He leaned back. "The oracle."

We did not notice Levi until he spoke. "What's going on?"

Zeke saw him. He saw Zeke. I knew too well how foes looked at each other. Levi obviously hated him more, for whatever reason. Their eyes lingered on each other with that mutual feeling of, "Why the hell is he here?"

"I'm offering a proposal," said Zeke.

"He's not taking your proposal," Levi used that same tone when he joked about stuff. Dry and stony. But he was dead serious this time.

"You don't know that yet," Zeke was defensive. "I haven't explained it to him."

"He is not taking it."

There was no pause after Zeke's words. Levi was unyielding, coming back with responses lightning-quick.

Armin looked down and away. Not a peep from him, but he was clearly listening.

Zeke exhaled, sensing the animosity. "Look. I'm not here to cause trouble again. It doesn't matter if you come with us, I just need Eren."

"Yeah? And what can he do for you?"

"Potentially save the world," Zeke's voice intensified. He was getting fed up. He then looked at me and said, "Please, at least give me an ear."

I reviewed every one, one by one. Levi was a fire waiting to spread. Armin was a still ocean. Zeke was earth; grounded and mild in temper. And I was me; passive and manipulatable.

I sighed discreetly. Turning him away in the first meeting was not a good impression.

"I'll listen," I said.

"Thank you," Zeke smiled. I was warm for a moment. But then he glanced at Levi, rubbing it in, and my heart tasted bitter. He said, "I will see you there."

Then he went first. Armin, awkward like the fourth wheel he was, looked at me and Levi apologetically before going second.

We remained, like an aftermath. I stared down at the table, listening to the padding of his feet on the stone floor. They shuffled, but he wasn't pacing or going anywhere.

I didn't know what Zeke did to make them both dislike him. I wished someone would just catch me up, but I was afraid I'd deeply regret my manners towards him.

Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat. Levi finally came up behind me. I waited for him to say something. He didn't. He just wrapped me in his arms and burrowed his head into the crook of my nape.

We fit like a jigsaw.

The oracle. A third blonde. She sat on her throne at the centermost point, in her royal-looking gown. What surrounded her was what I could only describe as a cross between a coliseum and a church.

We took, quite literally, a minute to walk the aisle and reach her. There were gods and goddesses sharing the front row. I was able to count them. There were nine, and Petra was one of them. I waved at her. She beamed as I passed.

"Your Highness," Armin bent a knee.

Zeke copied, "Your Highness."

Like I suddenly remembered a line, I hurried to follow suit. On one knee, I echoed after Zeke, "Your Highness."

I looked to my left, thinking Levi would do it next. He wasn't there.

Levi?

I looked all the way behind and saw that he was already crouched.

Clink. That was the sound of our precious stone eyes knocking against each other. It put my nerves to rest.

I faced onward again, just in time to see the oracle gesture for everyone to stand. We stood, in the same order we kneeled.

"I insist that you pick your seats," she said, her voice ricocheting off the windows and the sculptures and the glassy floor. "Please," she added.

The four of us sat in a row, in this order: Zeke, Armin, me, and Levi.

The oracle took a deep breath before starting, "A war overhangs us. The devils below are threatening to unleash, and I'm afraid that our titans are too weak to fight for us right now. We must sacrifice to them human blood." In Levi's direction, she reached out respectfully. "Levi, your ability is phenomenal. If Eren is willing to bleed on behalf of a thousand humans, we have a winning chance."

A thousand humans.

Levi stood. The surrounding heads, in their seats, all turned to look at him.

He engaged his diaphragm to fill the room. "Sorry for wasting your time, Miss Historia, but you may not take him."

The passion I heard in his voice made me look up and see him fully, for the first time in a while. It was almost like he referred to someone else, and not me. His chin was higher than he usually held it. His expression was dead set.

Zeke was not concerned. He knew Levi wouldn't agree. My heart dropped when he turned to me, again. "Eren, it is your choice," he said. "If you don't wish to do it, then it is your word above everyone's. But do not let anybody sway your vote, you hear me?"

"You hear me?" Meaning: Do not listen to Levi.

Levi sizzled. When he met my eyes for a second, that was when his face simmered. Worry bobbed at the surface. Then he saw Zeke again, and it sank back down. "His answer is no," he paraphrased.

I looked around and scanned everyone's faces.

If I don't actually die, then it should be fine.

It should be fine, right?

No one encouraged me to say anything, except for Levi vs. Zeke. I stood behind the imaginary microphone, now. Alone. Uncertain. Even if Levi tried forcing his way on stage, Zeke would've shot his words down. I knew he wanted to speak for me, just as much as I wanted him to. I really wanted him to. Because I knew how close I leaned towards yes. Towards breaking his heart.

"It should be fine," my voice was quiet as a dry leaf tumbling on a road.

Zeke leaned in. "What was that?"

Levi. He was afflicted, his eyes pleading no. It was a version of him I had never seen. I felt compelled to acknowledge him. To hear him out. But I ignored him. It was an action that required no effort, yet took all of my might.

"I'll do it," I said, properly.

I saw Armin move in my peripheral and wondered what kind of reaction he had. No one groaned. No one cheered or clapped for my answer, except Zeke with his grin that I now began to see mischief in.

A hand landed heavily on my shoulder. The world around me phased away, leaving behind a familiar sight. A familiar place. The platform.

Levi got in front of me. "I want you to think about this," his voice drowned in urge.

"I think I can do it," I shot back.

"You won't."

"Why not?"

"Because they're leaving out the one huge caveat."

I squinted. "What?"

"The fact that it has a slim chance of killing you."

I thought that was the point.

I blinked and shook my head. "...Of course it would kill me."

Levi seemed to not recognize me anymore. "You're okay with that?"

"Yes?"

"You've lost your fucking mind."

I flinched at his profanity. "You're overreacting," I sat down on my hammock. "Didn't you say I'd wake up?"

Levi hesitated. "Yes, but...that's only considering accidents! I didn't think you would agree to, fucking," he stuttered, "doing it a thousand times."

He walked away, processing the number. Everything was calm for a moment, but then he spun back around and pointed at me, "I thought you were terrified of dying."

I couldn't deny it, after the many times I've vented about it. "I am," I said, dispirited.

"Then why are you not against this?" he showed his palms, hands upside-down.

I swallowed.

I was. I was against it, now that I understood what he was saying. "What are the chances?" I asked grimly.

He shook his head, looking pained. "I don't know. Thin as a miracle, I think."

Thinner than winning the lottery. "Then I'll probably come out of it alive."

"And if you don't?" he started towards me, a slow step at a time.

"Then." I didn't have a rebuttal. I searched for words, knowing there were none for me that would make me honest.

Levi kneeled in front of me. So close. Only another head could fit between ours. He nodded slowly. "Exactly."

He just won the argument, and it wasn't even a real argument. What I did next was to deflect from my loss.

"Why do you hate Zeke?"

He did not expect my question. His focus averted, fleeing downward. "He's killed my friend."

I could tell that was only a synopsis.

I sighed through my nose. "How did he kill your friend, Levi?"

"He tricked him, Eren. Do you want to know what he said to trick him? He said, 'You won't actually die, so it should be fine.' And guess what happened after that." I said nothing. "He didn't wake up, Eren. Ever again, Eren. Does that sound close to home, Eren?"

He's never told me about this.

His eyes hunted mine for any hostility that he could shoot down. When he found none, his aggravation corroded away, and he sank fully to sit on the floor. Knees pulled in, hands holding his head.

The fetal position. A self-soothing mechanism.

"What can I do? What can I say?" his voice scratched its way out. "What can I say to convince you?"

I sighed. My jaw ached from flexing. I looked at the white dot on his head where his hair parted.

I could. I really could just refuse. To be fair, people have died in larger numbers. They die every day. But was I going to let a thousand random people lose their lives just to fund a war that didn't even involve mankind?

I said, finally, "I'll think about it. I promise."

It was the first promise I ever made to him. I was glad that he didn't offer his pinkie, because I had just lied through my teeth.

I already thought about it.