There was one thing he had to do.
One thing that his mind screamed.
The rush of green flames and window views of various rooms rushed by, but it all went into a blur.
His body felt rigid and on autopilot, while his brain kept playing the memory, all so vividly.
Sirius was dead.
His godfather was dead, the only family he has left. Gone. Straight to the veil. There wasn't even a body to mourn, nothing. Sirius was dead and he died still being called a criminal. He died while everyone thought he betrayed his best friend. He died.
As the green swirl stopped, Harry was ejected from the fireplace. He stumbled into the headmaster's office. Even before the others could come out of the fireplace, he knew what he needed to do.
He needed to run.
So, Harry did run just as the fireplace roared again. His body felt heavy and his leg limping, but he ran. Everything was a blur. He wasn't sure if his glasses were dirty, or if it was sweat that went to his eye— Harry wanted to think it was just sweat.
He was using every known shortcut and the hidden passage he remembered to avoid the others and to reach wherever his feet wanted him to be. His heart was beating so fast it began to ache and air became a necessity as his lungs felt like collapsing.
If Harry kept a record of how fast he ran from the castle to the Black Lake then he would've had a new record. The cold night winds slapped him in the face and his wounds stung but Harry didn't care. There was a far deeper wound that hurt compared to the cuts and bruises.
As he reached the end of the path where a large boulder lay, Harry unleashed his magic. His hand went on and waved his wand and released blasting curse after blasting curse in the water.
Sirius was now gone and its all his fault!
His last remaining family dead because of his own stupidity!
If only he put in the effort to learn occlumency on his own!
If only he waited!
If only…
With the last burst of magic, Harry sagged his back on the boulder as he breathed heavily. His eyes started to sting. He raised his head up and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. It was all his fault, and he did not deserve to cry!
The life with Sirius, now ashes in the wind. He could never hear his stupid 'Sirius' jokes, never hear his barking laugh, never feel his loving hug, never to able to spend time with him.
It was so unfair! They barely had time to spend with each other and now he's gone, and he can never know what it was like living with Sirius!
Harry's jaw clenched hard, and his throat tightened. His face felt wet and his body trembling.
Harry Potter was now truly, and irrevocably, alone.
He wanted to laugh. He has always been alone, and this was not changing things… but the hope of finally having a family to love you, care for you, stand by you, and that hope being ripped away in front of your very eyes was something very painful.
The life of being alone is quite the pain but never really when you never felt any other feeling… But the hope of finally not being alone and tasting how it felt like and then ever so suddenly disappear is truly a pain apart from this world.
Every pain in his body, from his head to his eyes, to his body filled with wounds and glass shards, to his heart, all combined that Harry was now confused about where the pain was coming from.
There was suddenly a noise from his right, but Harry didn't bother to look up. Only one person knew where this place was apart from him.
Merlin, it was the two of them that discovered this spot.
He could hear her footsteps starting to slow down. Slowly walking near him, her ever-present vanilla scent wafted to his nose. Still, Harry refused to look at her.
Then, he suddenly felt two arms encasing him in a hug. Her soft arms and the familiar scent made Harry collapse on her as he let his dam break lose. His arms snaked around her waist as he buried his face in her chest.
Harry last cried this hard when he was still 3 and was scared of being locked in the dark, damp, and cold, cupboard under the stairs after he bumped into Uncle Vernon spilling his coffee on his newspaper. At that time, Harry did not feel any semblance of comfort. This time, however, comfort covered Harry like a warm blanket on a winter night.
Her soft hand rubbed his back in circles, while the other caressed his hair. No words would ever reach him in his emotional state. No words could ever comfort him after what he had been through.
Words would seem meaningless and superficial; it was actions that bought comfort to those who lost someone dear to them.
Daphne Greengrass, for all the times she has known Harry, knew that he did not need words at this moment. Even Daphne herself did not know what words she should use, how she should arrange them, to fully grasp what the boy in her arms was feeling, to fully comfort him from the pain he was experiencing.
She could feel the blood and sweat on his dried-up shirt and jacket. His hair was even more of a mess. Its softness was replaced with the coarseness that came from body fluids and dirt that caked up. She held him tightly, trying her best to make him feel comforted.
They sat there for quite some time before Harry's wails turned into sobs, sobs into sniffs, sniffs into breaths. Daphne felt her jumper and shirt were soaked, but she simply did not care, they can easily be cleaned and dry.
Harry's feelings were a different case.
"It's all my fault, Daph" Harry's coarse voice broke through the silence. He pulled himself away from her and used the base of his palm to dry his eyes. Daphne immediately pulled her wand and dried her jumper before he could even see it.
"He's dead because of me" He continued as he sat there, eyes looking at a distance. The memory playing on his mind, Sirius' body falling through the veil, his resigned eyes looking at Harry before fading away.
"Harry" Daphne called. Her voice sounded like a far-away echo to him. She called again, yet no reaction. This time Daphne slowly and gently took hold of both of his hands and gently squeezed them as she called him again.
"Harry" Daphne's voice was firm but gentle. He snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention to her. Sapphire met emeralds.
Her eyes filled with worry and patience, and Harry could never be more grateful for being blessed by such an image.
Only a few manage to get the Ice Queen to look at them with such kindness and warm emotions. Far fewer were those who were showered with her care and affection.
"I can never fully grasp, what you are feeling right now. I only know a fraction of it, for what is worth, it was not your fault" Daphne said. Harry bit the inside of his cheek and avoided her gaze and tried to pull his hand, but Daphne's grip was relentless.
"Daph, you don't understand, it was my fault. Sirius went there and rescued me because I let Voldemort fool me into thinking Sirius was there! It's my fault I did not try harder learning Occlumency on my own and just gave up because Snape was acting like a foul git! It's my fault I did not triple-check before I foolishly went there and got my godfather killed! It's all my fault, Daphne!" Harry's voice rising each sentence he said. Daphne steadied her resolve and tried not to flinch and held Harry's hands tighter as his magic swirled around him. His emerald eyes burned with hatred directed at himself.
"Harry Potter, you are not at fault for Sirius' death. It was not you who threw the curse that killed him. It was not you who made yourself think that Sirius has been tortured. You did not kill your godfather. Although I still do not know the details of what has transpired but I can tell you, it was not your fault" Daphne reasoned, her gaze unwavering and looking at Harry straight in the eyes. She softened her gaze and let go of his hands as she held his face.
"Harry, you did what you did with the information and feeling you had at that moment. Was it brash and foolishly Gryffindor of you? Yes, but that's what happens when our loved ones are at stake. You are not at fault for wanting to save Sirius, Harry. You are not at fault, and it was not Sirius' fault for saving you because he loves you, and he would do it again in a heartbeat even if it meant him dying" Daphne comforted him. Harry dropped his gaze as he sniffed and tried to stop his tears from falling again.
"Daph, it's just… Sirius is now gone… and I almost let the others get killed because I wasn't prepared enough… I don't want to think, what would happen if you went with us… Daph, losing Sirius was even more than enough… I don't want to lose more" Harry hiccupped. Daphne swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing she almost went with them. If it weren't for Tracey and Theo's sudden logical thinking, she would've risked it.
"What's important is that you're safe, the others are safe, we are safe. As for preparedness, we can change that. We'll make sure that we can be prepared next time, and you'll be ready. I promise you that, ok?" Daphne comforted him. There was no use crying over spilled milk when you can use the time to prepare yourself for the next time.
Harry looked into her eyes. Those eyes of hers that held promise and so, so, so much more. Merlin knows what will happen to him if a day ever comes those eyes are no longer shining and existing in this world. The thought alone gave Harry the drive to do everything he can to avoid that.
Losing Sirius was more than enough. Losing Daphne…
He erased the thought in his head. Daphne was right, he can be more prepared next time. He can never change what happened today, but he had the power to avoid it from happening again.
Harry looked Daphne in the eyes and held his gaze, before nodding at her. Daphne smiled and nodded back at him before letting go of his face. He suddenly missed the feeling of it… Although her hands went straight to his hands and examined them.
"You are a mess" she commented matter of factly. Harry gave a tired chuckle. Trust Daphne to tell him he was a mess after comforting him. It warmed his heart, nonetheless.
"Let me heal some cuts and bruises, is that ok?" she asked. Harry nodded and watched her in fascination as she intricately moved her wand and pulled the small shards of glass from his hand. The way she blew on it as she slowly made the cut close and clean. Like she was healing a kid who got their hand scraped after an accident.
"You know, for someone who isn't going to be a healer, you heal well Daph" Harry commented as she closed another wound.
Daphne smiled without looking at him as she moved on to the next wound. She focused on her task, making sure she did not mess it up.
"Well, what can I say, Harry, being near you requires some of us to know healing spells to save your cute arse from dying" Daphne teased as she looked up to him and finished healing one hand.
"So, you think my arse is cute, huh?" Harry teased back with a chuckle, He felt heat rise up his face and neck, but he was sure it was the cold wind— that's the reason he's going for.
"Yeah, that's why I love tapping it when meeting you since it's cute and soft" Daphne retaliated now focusing on his other hand and pulling another shard. Harry clamped up his mouth as he felt shy. Daphne always had a way of throwing back any teasing he would come up with.
On Daphne's side, she was currently praying to Morgana that she did not mess up the healing spells as she could feel her blush on her cheeks and ears because of what she had just said to Harry. She was an heiress to one of the most prominent houses in their society and she has been taught how to act like one! But she wasn't Heiress Greengrass at the moment, she was Daphne— Harry's friend.
"So… How'd you know about… you know… 'this'?" Harry asked as Daphne closed the final wound on his hands. Her body shivered with the cold breeze before casting a warming charm for the two of them.
"Harry as future Head and Lord of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter, you should really be more eloquent in using your words" Daphne teased to which Harry rolled his eyes. One of the things that Daphne has done to him was that she made him aware of his heritage and teach him about his responsibilities as an important figure in their society, not just as the "Boy-Who-Lived". He only learned more as more of her friends came in to help him.
"I apologize, Heiress Greengrass, I must know you how learned of what transpired at the Ministry earlier" Harry mocked with a pompous tone and a sneer. It only lasted a second before the two chuckled at how funny and how it did not suit Harry.
"Seriously, Daph, where'd you learn the news?" Harry asked, now more solemn as he fidgeted with his fingers and looked at them. Silence engulfed them for a few moments before Daphne spoke.
"I was with Theo, waiting for you to arrive. I saw you exit the headmaster's office and sprint. I was about to follow you, then a crying Hermione showed up running after you, but we stopped her and asked what happened. There you go, I went here and saw you" Daphne answered.
They stayed still for a few more moments before Harry spoke up again.
"How's Hermione?" he asked. Daphne just smiled at him before patting his hands.
"She's in good hands, don't worry" she answered with a smirk that made Harry chuckle.
Just like how I'm in good hands. Harry thought. He then started thinking about what to do next. The two had shared a pensive expression, both minds running in the same direction.
"We execute the plan… Merlin knows Dumbledore will lock me up again at the Dursley's" and I can't prepare and train well if that happens. Harry thought as he looked at Daphne.
"I was thinking of the same thing. I'll write a letter to father to let him know. It's about time you take this matter into your own hands" Daphne commented. Her words made Harry remember the prophecy, and suddenly his body felt colder.
It was all going to end between him and Voldemort.
Fear coursed through his veins as he remembered Voldemort's attempt to possess his body. He was years ahead of magical knowledge compared to Harry… how was he supposed to top that?
His thoughts were stopped as Daphne's hand held his. He looked at her and saw the worry in her eyes.
"Hey, you ok?" She asked. Harry's breath hitched. What was he going to tell Daphne? Was he going to tell her about the prophecy? What about her safety? Her family's safety? Harry would do anything to keep her safe.
"Harry, you know we are a team remember?" she prompted and squeezed his hand. Harry swallowed a lump in his throat and smiled at Daphne, his mind fixed on a decision.
"Yeah, and I'm very thankful for that" he replied. He was met with Daphne's smile and the two stood up from the ground still holding each other's hands.
"We should get back to the castle, let you get healed by Madame Pomfrey" Daphne said as the two started walking towards Hogwarts. They walked in silence as they reached the secret passage that would lead them to the 2nd floor.
Harry gripped Daphne's hands as he looked at her. She looked up at him and raised her eyebrow at him. Harry smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Thank you for everything, Daph" he whispered as Harry reluctantly let go of Daphne's hands and walked towards the deserted corridor. There was no doubt in Harry's mind that he badly wanted to hold Daphne's hand all throughout the infirmary, but it would compromise their arrangement and her safety. As he walked to his destination, Harry's mind was now set in stone. He would do everything in his power to keep her safe.
a/n
hello~
Thank you so much for reading this! I was debating whether to put this on "Pott of Grass" but decided against it. Although this is part of the same universe but did not really fit the whole vibe I was going for PoG. I hope you liked it and tell me what you think (kindly). I'm still looking for a beta btw. Thank you so much and I hope you're having a good day!
a/n 2
Fixed some mistakes and made some adjustments with some scenes and phrases. Hopefully, it helped and made the story better and easier to read even just a little. Thank you again and have a good day ahea!