Chapter 20
Chapter Summary
"I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole,
Till there's nothing left inside my soul.
I'm as empty as a beating drum,
But the sound has just begun." - Drumming Song, Florence The Machine
"I need you to save them all."
The Sage of Six Paths' words echo in her mind as Sakura watches over the battlefield. She's holding her sword at her side, Hiashi at her back as they catch their breath.
"I need you to save them all," he'd said.
Save them all.
It was easier said than done.
She barely was even able to save Obito and Rin.
I've taken as many lives as I've saved. Maybe more. Maybe less. She muses, watching the shinobi clash just a few yards away from the hill she and Hiashi are perched on. How can I save lives when I'm too busy ending them?
"Uzumaki-sama." Hiashi begins severely and Sakura nods, lifting her sword without another word.
"Let's go." She agrees, the two of them lunging back into battle.
It's nothing like having Akihito by her side.
But it works.
"The mark on your shoulder," Hiashi juts his chin slightly towards her bicep. She glances down at the black, innocuous looking kanji.
The kanji for 'shinobi', just as it had been on her hitai-ate in another life.
"What of it?" She asks politely and Hiashi frowns softly.
"I apologize if I am not meant to ask - but it is a seal, is it not?"
She arches a brow. "It is a seal - and it's not rude to ask, but it would be rude to ask what it does. Though I don't mind sharing the basics." Sakura reaches up to tap the stationary seal. "It's a barrier seal, to activate in case anyone tries to take control of me."
Hiashi's brow furrows. "Take control of you? Is that a concern?"
"Perhaps not. But someone put a seal on a fourteen year girl that made her run full speed to her own home, knowing she'd arrive only to destroy it all." Sakura points out mildly. "So I figured it's best to be safe rather than sorry." She shrugs faintly, returning to running a stone down the edge of her blade.
"I've noticed something about you, Uzumaki-sama."
"Oh?" She asks curiously, looking over at him. The glow from the fire between them makes his face shadow eerily.
"You're a very meticulous woman. You never do anything without good reason, and I know that barrier seals are some of the most complex fūinjutsu. You wouldn't put that much time and effort into a vague possibility." He says confidently, pupiless eyes burning into hers, and she can't help the way her heartrate picks up.
"...I don't know what you mean, Hyūga-sama." She lies quietly.
"No." Hiashi says agreeably. "I don't suppose you would." He suddenly rises to his feet, straightening out his sleeves before bowing to her. "Excuse me. I must find my brother."
Sakura bows her head in return, pausing to watch him leave.
When he's gone, she looks down at her bicep and the kanji tattooed onto it. Shinobi, it might mean.
But it also means Endure.
She comes back to Konoha just in time for the first Uzu clan member to graduate from Konoha's Shinobi Academy.
She goes to the graduation personally, clapping and smiling at the boy in question.
Keiki Uzu, the first Uzu-named child to become a shinobi.
The celebration is both enthusiastic and tinged with sorrow.
"I've come to a decision," Sakura tells Kushina as they watch over the celebrations, just off to the side for a moment. "About the koi pond."
"What about it? You aren't thinking about getting rid of it, are you?"
"No, no." Sakura shakes her head quickly, frowning. "No, I want to make it into an official monument. A monument for the fourteen shinobi who established the Uzu clan."
"I think… that that's a good idea, Sakura." Kushina says slowly and thoughtfully.
They fall silent for a long minute before Kushina looks over at her.
"Minato's going to ask me to marry him."
Sakura blinks rapidly, then looks over at her. "He is?"
"Oh, yes." Kushina's eyes glint in spite of the darkness around them. "He thinks he's subtle. It's cute, and kind of embarrassing. But I wanted to ask… can he move into the compound? With me?"
Sakura's brow furrows slightly. "Of course he can. But… you realize that his position is… changing, yes?"
"Changing?" Kushina stares at her blankly.
Suddenly, Sakura can see the resemblance to Naruto in a bad way. "He's made quite a name for himself, hasn't he?" Sakura says slowly.
"Yes?"
"And the Hokage has taken notice."
"...So?"
Kami have mercy. "The Hokage's gotten very old, hasn't he? Perhaps he's a bit tired?" Sakura says very, very slowly.
It still takes Kushina a minute, and then her cheeks color. "Oh, oh of course. Right. Yeah, that…" She trails off, then looks at Sakura with wide, excited eyes. "A successor?"
"The successor."
"But what about that genin team member of the Hokage's. The creepy snake one."
"Orochimaru? He doesn't have the charisma for the position, Hokage-sama knows that, I'm sure. Though I'm not sure Orochimaru knows it."
Orochimaru hadn't really snapped until Minato was elected the successor, and even then, he hadn't been caught until after the Yondaime's death.
Sakura briefly wonders if she could somehow change that, but dismisses the thought quickly. Orochimaru's path was set, unless Tsunade's continued presence in Konoha somehow changes that.
In her previous life, it had taken him dying to even consider working for the right side.
"Regardless, it's fine. But bear in mind that Minato's pending status might demand you move to a more centralized, public area. He'll need that, not the closed off nature of our Clan's compound."
"Right. Yeah." Kushina bites her lip, suddenly looking nervous. "I'll have to talk to him about that. I can't leave the compound."
"You can't?" She questions, frowning at Kushina. "If this is because you help me with running everything, your assistance is invaluable but I can always hold down the fort on my own."
She definitely couldn't. She had barely lasted a week last time.
"Bullshit." Kushina snorts softly before frowning again. "I can't leave because you're going to make me your successor."
Sakura blinks once.
She considers that point.
The woman had managed to spend nearly a month as Clan Head, and almost no one got hurt in the process. Her reputation was unmarred, her Clan's reputation unmarred, and nothing had gotten destroyed except a couple of desks.
"...Alright." Sakura agrees slowly. "You're my successor." Sakura nods to confirm her own words and Kushina lights up, smiling so bright it's almost blinding.
It's only after Kushina leaves in a happy rush that Sakura realizes her mistake.
If Sakura never has children to becoming the successor by right of blood, then Kushina's child would.
Which means Naruto would be next in line to be the head of her Clan.
...I need to find someone before that mess happens. Sakura realizes.
If only she had the time.
"Concentrate." Sakura tells Rin gently, watching the girl work.
It's early morning, the sun shining brightly, the bird singing in the sky, and the river water trickling quietly behind them.
It's peaceful enough to almost forget that there's a war going on.
"You're trying too hard." Sakura warns Rin, just before the lung the girl's working on expands so much it starts to tear. "Stop." Rin stops, shoulders slumping. "It's a difficult jutsu, but you have the control for it. Let it come naturally to you. As natural as it is for you to heal it." Sakura nods her head to the tears and Rin silently and easily heals them.
They're in Training Ground Three, the same training ground her team had used in her dreams, and the lung is sitting on the same wooden post that Naruto had once been tied to.
"Try again." Sakura instructs.
"It wouldn't be so hard without the Sanbi's chakra." Rin sighs. Her hands glow gentle blue and the lung starts to carefully inflate and deflate. It's too shallow at first, then too deep a breath, and then too shallow again.
Sakura doesn't let herself sigh. She lets the gentle breeze calm her, the leaves rustling in the trees, and she forces herself to stay relaxed.
Sometimes she feels like she'll never truly be at peace again.
She spends her twenty-fourth birthday sleeping off three straight days of hell on the Iwagakure front. Rin takes over in her absence, doing a remarkable job.
Sakura wonders if it's time to take on an official apprentice.
"You won't ever have the chakra to use the seals like I do," Sakura warns her. "Tsunade-hime would be a better choice to train you, but she has an apprentice. After the war's over, you should ask her, though. Her methods don't require so much chakra."
Rin nods sharply at that, eyes blazing and jaw set, and Sakura wonders if this is what Tsunade saw when she came to the woman, demanding to be taught.
"I'll tell the Hokage, then. He'll post us together so you can learn while we're deployed."
"Yes, Sakura-sensei."
Sakura smiles at the fourteen year old girl.
The girl smiles back.
In another life, she would have died several months ago, her heart wrapped around the hand of her own teammate.
In this life, she has the potential to be so much more than just a painful memory.
There's a celebration.
A celebration of the arrival of Autumn, the air cooler and the leaves turning colors. It's a beautiful celebration.
Sakura could do without the formalities, though.
Being a Clan Head meant looking important at such activities, and she's wearing no less than five layers of kimonos. At least it's Autumn, so she only feels a little like she's dying.
"You look like you're dying." Shikaku's bland voice startles her from her thoughts. He's well-dressed as well, but not quite as extravagantly as her.
It's not fair. "Did you know that in virtually every other species, it's the male who has to 'dress up' to attract a female to them?" Sakura asks him and he blinks at her, one brow lifting. She gestures vaguely to herself. "I feel cheated."
Shikaku snorts softly. "Well, I don't envy you."
"You wouldn't, would you?" Sakura sighs heavily, eyeing his simple, two layer kimono. "I hear you're to be wed soon."
Shikaku sighs this time, but it's a long-suffering one. "An arranged marriage. A pain in the ass, but worthwhile in the long run. I'm sure Yoshino and I will learn to cope." He sighs again, then glances at her. "You should consider the same."
"An arranged marriage?" Sakura questions, shooting him an incredulous look. "To who?"
"Whoever you find worthy. As Clan Head, you hold the power to choose."
"Yes. But you wouldn't bring this up to me without reason, Nara-sama. So why did you?"
Shikaku is silent for a long minute, watching over the festivities. It takes her some time to realize he's looking at someone in particular. Or rather, a group of someones. The Sennin and Dan, happily alongside his wife.
The sight still makes an unnerving chill go down her spine.
"Jiraiya-sama is very skilled in seals, and possibly the most important member of Konoha - just behind the Hokage, myself, and yourself."
"So the fourth most important." Sakura corrects absentmindedly, eyes drawn to the way Tsunade casually rests her hand on Dan's shoulder, laughing at something her husband had said.
"You watch him often. And her. He watches her, too."
"You watch too much." Sakura scolds softly, not taking her eyes off the happy couple. She's unnerved but not surprised that Shikaku's noticed her staring at Tsunade. She is surprised that he's misinterpreted it.
"It's unusual to find someone so close to being your equal, Sakura-sama."
"She's better than me." Sakura snaps, so suddenly it catches herself off guard, and she winces. She can never be off guard around the man, never. It gives him too much information.
"It seems to me that you're better than both." Shikaku argues lightly.
"I know seals, but I don't make them. I can break them down, piece by piece, but I do a poor job of it. There's too much that goes into each seal. Jiraiya-sama's a seal master. And Tsunade-sama… she can do everything I can do, but she uses skill where I use pure chakra."
"Your seals count as a skill, I should think."
"I had help." Sakura says waspishly, her grip on her glass becoming precariously tight.
"From your cousin?" Shikaku asks almost idly.
"From my friend. He never made it out of Uzushio." Sakura replies coldly, eyes narrowed.
There's a small pause in their small verbal war. "I'm sorry for your loss, Uzumaki-sama. I overstepped."
"Which overstep are you apologizing for?" Sakura demands pointedly, then takes a careful drink of her sake. "Why Jiraiya-sama? What makes you think we would even get along?"
"You share interests. He's the only one outside of myself who comes close to your position. I'm taken, as we already covered. He also has an interest and an affinity for sealwork, which your Clan is famed for."
Which Uzushio was famed for, Sakura corrects in her mind, and for the first time in a long time, the thought makes her throat ache.
She watches Jiraiya, the way the man moves, the way he smiles at Tsunade - pained but genuine. He's young to her, now. There's only a ten year difference between them. He's still the lecherous old man she knew in her past life and that immediately makes her want to turn away, but…
But…
She also knew how much of that was him coping without Tsunade.
She remembers his last days, when he and Tsunade had gotten closer and closer.
He knew how to treat love with care - and perhaps this one knows it, too.
"You see it, don't you?" Shikaku muses and she offers a faint hum, still studying Jiraiya. "The potential. You could make him great."
"Enough." Sakura says quietly but firmly. "I'll consider your idea - but I have no intention of wedding anyone anytime soon. There's a war going on, Shikaku-sama. I have responsibilities out there, not in here, in these kami-forsaken clothes."
"Festivals are here for a reason." Shikaku points out and Sakura sneers softly before she sips at the sake, forcing herself to relax.
"Yes. To calm the civilians, to increase morale for the shinobi forces. But we're not civilians or ordinary shinobi, are we?"
"No. And that's why we're here speaking while they're down there celebrating." Shikaku agrees with a grim, tired sigh. "Even Tsunade-hime celebrates."
Something about that prickles at her. Another chill down the spine. Sakura watches, poised for danger like someone just out of a war zone would be. But Tsunade is relaxed, laughing with Dan and smiling at a murderous teammate and a lovestruck one.
Sakura stands ready, but Tsunade celebrates.
It should feel good. Sakura gave her that, after all. Without her, Tsunade would be across the country drinking herself into a coma instead of…
Instead of relaxing and being able to forget the war for a minute.
Sakura blinks slowly, Shikaku's words radiating in her mind until she finds what's bothering her.
"You call her hime, but not me." She notes, finally turning to actually look at Shikaku. He's looking at Tsunade, eyes narrowed, and there's a strange expression on his face.
He sips at his own sake before answering. "Because she's a hime, Sakura-sama." He looks over at her, eyelids shadowed and a hint of approval on his face.
"You are no hime."