Remus watched him in his cottage, the ghost of the man he once knew. Once knew and once loved.

Now he was a stranger. He didn't pity him, he remained adamant on that. Of course, he cared for him and desperately wished he could make things better for Sirius, but he tried not to make him feel fragile or delicate, even though they both knew in this damn state he was.

It was strange having him here now. Remus was accustomed to being alone. A lone wolf, he had thought to himself on more than one occasion. Before Hogwarts he didn't really have friends, couldn't, or so his parents thought. He knew they were trying to keep him safe from being found out. Carrying that secret at Hogwarts, terrified of being found out meant he kept to himself as much as possible. He felt like an outsider no matter how much his new dorm mates tried to pull him in. He was used to it. Isolated at home, during the transformations and the full moon, then recovering in the hospital wing. He was as lonely as the moon was in the dark sky. He didn't know what he was missing, until he did of course. Until The Marauders were in on the secret and they sat with him in the hospital wing and eventually joined him to run through The Forbidden Forest at night. Then the isolation crept back in during the war, just a taster for what was to come. Remus secluded himself after losing everyone that awful Halloween night. He had to isolate lest his werewolf status be discovered anyway, but that wasn't the real reason. He had been alone before Hogwarts, but he had never been lonely. He thought perhaps that returning to Hogwarts, to keep Harry safe he might find some of the same comfort he had all those years ago. Since leaving Hogwarts he had found himself more isolated than ever, because now he knew all these years it didn't have to be. On top of this, the Wizarding World was now aware of his lycanthropy status which meant his previously self imposed exile from society was no longer his own choice. He wasn't complaining though. His exile from society had still come with freedoms. Others hadn't been so lucky.

"You don't have to do that." Sirius had said, voice low, when Remus came to help him button up a shirt. His fingers were numb and cold a lot, from clenching his hands into fists Remus had realised. He didn't say anything when he'd notice it, just absentmindedly sit beside Sirius and pry open his fist with his hand. He didn't hold it like he wanted to. Merely to warm them, he told himself, though he knew it wasn't true. It's like Hogwarts all over again, Remus thought a little wistfully. Him wishing for any excuse to hold Sirius Black's hand, sitting beside him doing homework so their fingers might brush when they wrote with their quills.

The only time Remus didn't want Sirius touching him back then was when he was most inclined to do so, after the full moon, when he was the one who was fragile and delicate and needed to be taken care of. Sirius would help him stand and get back to their dorm from the hospital wing. He'd fling Remus' arm around his shoulder to take his weight and throw his arm around Remus in a friendly manner so it didn't look suspicious if they did see anyone in the halls. Remus would collapse onto his bed and Sirius would tut and carefully unlace his shoes and pull them off, muttering about shoes on the bed and showing his good breeding that he tried so hard to suppress. Sirius never pitied him, and if he did he hid it well. So that's what Remus aimed to do now.

Only, Sirius remembered so little. He didn't ever know what he wanted to eat, and Remus had a good idea why, when one morning Padfoot was still asleep on the couch and he found a half eaten rat in the kitchen. He usually just ate what Remus made, and Remus tried to make all his old favourites. Sirius didn't remember how he used to wear his hair, he seemed content some days to let it matt, especially on the days he was Padfoot for most of the time, sometimes he found it easier being canine. Remus had seen him writing things a few time, attempts of letters to Harry that were never sent (under Dumbledore's orders, which Sirius bloody hated). Remus realised Sirius didn't remember which hand he wrote with sometimes and would swap the quill to the other hand midway through and back again, testing which felt right. He didn't remember if he preferred tea or coffee. He didn't remember if he liked long baths or quick showers. Didn't remember if he said "bless you" when someone sneezed.

One thing he did remember was how much he loved Remus. It alarmed him how much he felt it every time he looked at him or heard him sigh or when his fingers brushed his neck helping him button up his shirt. It set him on edge, because it was a feeling he had suppressed for over a decade, as a matter of survival. He couldn't feel in Azkaban. The dementors wouldn't let him for long, so he didn't let himself. He lost himself to hold on to the things he did know. One of the things he forgot was love, but here it was again, like it never went away. The same tension between them that had been there since around fourth year.

The same but different. Sirius was with Remus again but he still felt far away. He didn't know how to get back to who he was or who they were. He had been isolated so long he forgot how to exist around people. Even at number 12 he was never really alone. His parents weren't exactly a comfort, but there had been Regulus. Then at Hogwarts he and James were joined at the hip. The four of them were always together for, sleeping, meals and detention. Almost everyone in school except the Slytherins loved and idolised them, he never had to spend a minute alone and he was glad. He never learnt how to be content in his own company because he had never had to. Returning home for holidays was lonely but he was never on his own. The house was always busy with Blacks, Malfoys, Lestranges and other relatives all ready to tell him what a disappointment he was to the point where he wished they'd leave him alone. Again there was Reg if he was really pressed for company and Andromeda and of course his friends wrote to him. After he pulled that stupid thoughtless prank on Snape, Remus ignored him for months. He felt like a bit of him was missing and only felt whole again when it returned. He wished he could feel whole again now.

Azkaban was another thing entirely. Nothing could prepare him for it. Nothing own guilt and grief for twelve years. It was like a huge blackness stretched out before him and around him, engulfing him and nothing could light it up again. He wasn't made for solitude. Sirius was meant to run. Run to class because he slept in, run from Filch to avoid detention, run on the Full Moon through the forest. More than that though, prison aside, he was more alone in his mind. Evans, gone. James, gone. How could he exist in a world without James? Peter, gone, and even when he was still here he wasn't really with them. Moony. His poor Remus. He had no right to even think of him let alone call him his. He was sure he must blame him for it all, sure he would hate him as he should. Living on the run as Padfoot it was easy to collapse in on himself. All he had were basic, instinctual needs. If it weren't for Harry he'd be content to keep running until Padfoot couldn't run anymore and try to outrun the dark shadow that followed him.

He was sitting on the couch one night, thinking of Azkaban. He stared into the fire, willing for news to come through. The plans were in motion to move to Grimmauld Place. His stomach tightened at the thought of being back there and so did his fists. He thought of Harry, alone and scared and vulnerable and balled his fists tighter. He thought of Dumbledore forbidding him to go to him. Thought of Azkaban and Harry and then James and Lily and no, please, no, not them, don't think about them, tighter and tighter his fists grew, knuckles white, his nails digging into his palms.

Then Moony's hand was on his. He hadn't even noticed him sit down beside him. Remus didn't look at him, he had a book on defensive spells for number 12 open and levitating in front of him. He gently took Sirius' hand, his own practised fingers now prying open Sirius' vice like ones. He took one hand and unwound it, jerking his head once at the book to turn the page. Then he reached and took the other fist and did the same, dropping his hand to the couch the second he was done, not lingering the way Sirius wanted him to. Sirius gulped, fought the urge to turn into Padfoot to escape, and placed his hand over Remus'. He couldn't look at him, but saw him from the corner of the eye stare at their hands together on the couch, shocked, almost alarmed. As though a stranger had snuck into the cottage and held his hand. Sirius didn't want to be a stranger to Moony.

Sirius was ready to pull his hand away when Remus placed his other hand on top of his. Now Sirius could look. Moony had tears in his eyes, glittering in the firelight as he took Sirius' hand in both of his and kissed the back of it, stroking over the invisible mark he left. Remus held on with one hand and gently laid the other one on his far shoulder, pulling him in close to him so that they fit together with Sirius' head in the crook of his neck. Sirius let the tears fall but he wasn't sure why. Remus was reminded of how they used to sit on the rare occasion the common room was empty, save their friends, with Sirius' head in his lap. He gently stroked Sirius' hair and kissed the top of his head resting by his shoulder as he quietly shook and cried into Remus' and fell asleep.

When they were young and first stayed at the Potter house one summer, all three skinny young boys would try to fit into James' bed, lest anyone take the spare room and be left out. Peter was on holiday in Blackpool with his family. Sirius had plonked down on the bed first, then Remus and then James, sandwiching Remus either side. Sirius promptly climbed over Remus and squished himself in between them, declaring he wanted to be in the middle and Remus gratefully moved over.

When Sirius and Remus moved into their flat after Hogwarts, Lily had placed some of Remus' books on one of the bedside cabinets while helping them unpack.

"No, Evans! That's my side!" Sirius had insisted, briefly stopping the pillow fight with James. She rolled her eyes but levitated them over to the other side of the bed, smiling, while Remus just chuckled and indulged him.

"Wake up, Sirius" he muttered into his hair. His arm had gone dead long ago but he hadn't wanted to move from their slumped position on the couch with his arm around Sirius, and still loosely holding hands. Sirius blinked awake. He sat up and glanced at the fire, momentarily hopeful and quickly deflated. "No news?" He asked. Remus shook his head.

"C'mon, bed." Remus said standing with a stretch. Sirius held onto his hand but didn't move to stand.

"You're not sleeping on the couch tonight, you'll stare into that fire unblinking if I let you." Sirius still didn't move and wouldn't quite meet Remus' eye.

"Bed?" He repeated. Remus wasn't sure if it was the heat from the fire or…was Sirius blushing at the thought of sharing a bed with him? He laughed despite himself, feeling lighter and more like himself, the old Remus that knew the old Sirius. "I'm taking you to bed so that you'll actually get some sleep, nothing else Sirius! We have shared a bed in the past and just slept, you know." Sirius bit his lip and looked up at him.

"Typical Sirius Black thinks he's irresistible to everyone, eh?" Remus joked with a smirk and a quirk of the eyebrow. That made Sirius smile. "I'll sleep on the couch if you want?" Remus said sincerely.

"No!" Sirius said quickly, the blush back in his face. Remus eyebrows shot up in surprise and amusement. The most agitated or loud Sirius had been since arriving was in heated talks concerning Harry, it was when he was most like the impulsive, erratic young man Remus had once known and once loved.

Sirius cleared his throat and stood, still holding Remus' hand, gazing at it in wonder, like he couldn't believe it was actually there.

"No, no couch. Let's just go to sleep, Moony." And he led the way to Remus' bedroom still holding on and only dropping it when Remus pulled out fresh pj tops from the dresser for them to change into. All of Remus' clothes drowned Sirius, they always had with their height difference, but even though Sirius had noticeably put on weight since staying there it still hung on him. He still looks good, Remus thought.

There was an awkward tension so he joked, trying to break it as they changed.

"Still look better in my bloody clothes than I do. Forever stealing them. You always did," he grinned. Sirius looked up from the buttons on the pj shirt he was fiddling with, looking taken aback.

"Did I?" he asked. Remus rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, don't act humble Padfoot, you know you looked good."

"No, not that," Sirius smiled a small smile but still looked confused, "I used to wear your clothes?"

"Oh." Remus faltered remembering Sirius' memory was coming back slowly to him, "Yeah, you did. Mostly just to annoy me I think, forever winding me up."

Sirius nodded slowly and gave up on the buttons pulling off the shirt and climbing into the bed. Remus let out a laugh.

"What?" Sirius asked, pulling the covers up to his shoulders.

"You! I can't believe you still just have to have that side of the bed!" Remus laughed with a disbelieving shake of his head, walking to the other side of the bed and pulling back the covers.

"No I don't?" Sirius looked confused.

"Sirius for as long as I've known you, if we shared a bed you had to sleep on the right side of the bed!"

"Oh. Only because you sleep on the left side," Sirius shrugged. Remus blinked.

"You what?"

"I don't care which side I sleep on but you've always preferred the left side, haven't you Moony?" Remus stared back at him in utter bewilderment. He felt like he'd just been slapped in the face.

"The whole time? You had to sleep on the right…because you knew I liked the left?" He asked, quietly astonished. Sirius nodded. "And you remember that?" He asked.

"Of course." Sirius said frowning. "I forgot pieces of who I am Moony. I never forgot who you are. It's what kept me sane in Azkaban." Remus stared at him in amazement before something clicked.

"You mean you remember more?!" Remus asked a lump in his throat. Sirius shrugged.

"I remember you hold your mug by the rim and not the handle, you hate people folding pages of a book, that you break off another piece of chocolate before you're even finished chewing the bit in your mouth, that you have to always remind yourself not to press on the parchment too hard with the quill and that you like to sleep on the left side of the bed." Sirius breathed, a look of adoration falling over his face.

Silence passed while they both stared at the other in awe.

"I can't believe you remember all that," Remus uttered in a hushed breath.

"How could I forget?" Sirius whispered back and reached for his hand and pulled him into the bed. He moved in close, stopping just short to let Remus bridge the gap between them if he wanted, if he was ready.

This wasn't a stranger in his bed, Remus realised. It was still his Sirius. He kissed him and, even though it was more chaste than their younger selves would have ever kissed, it felt exactly the same, like no time has passed at all. The moon could light up the darkness and it wasn't so alone in the black sky anymore, not with the stars. They would still feel alone and dark some days, but they'd be alone together.

TCH

FFN: AWellWish

House: Hufflepuff

Class: astronomy

Category: Themed

Theme/ Prompt[Discovery] - the act of finding something that had not been known before; learning something new.

[Emotion] Awe

Word count: 2892