Numb
Luz sits in a corner of her room alone, thinking about all of the terrifying things she saw in Belos's mindscape. She thinks about Hunter and how he ran away in a panic and she can't help but feel awful for not going after him. Eda told her to stay and she listened, part of her wants to feel safe now that she's back at the Owl House, but her mind believes she's still in danger.
Luz barely remembers what happened after she escaped. It's all a blur like she was lost in a fog. Flashes of images kept playing in her mind yet she was still trying her best to be present. She only remembers walking back inside the house and telling Eda she needed to be alone.
Eda tried to convince Luz to talk about what happened. But seeing how broken down and sad she looked, she decided to let her go up to her room and process her emotions.
Part of Luz is glad Eda let her be alone while another part of her longs for comfort from her found family. A familiar feeling that ultimately leads her to isolation and she knows deep down that's not going to help her. It's only going to hurt the people who care about her.
Luz stands up, wiping away her tears, and starts walking towards the door. She's ready to talk, knowing she'll have support.
Just before Luz opens the door, she hears something.
Hello Luz. It feels good to finally be awake and alive. Let's not open the door, you don't want to hurt the people you care about.
Luz looks around her room for the source of this ominous voice. The scary thing is it sounds just like her own but distorted and cold.
"Who's there?" Luz asked.
No answer.
Luz takes deep breaths trying to calm herself down, but her fears are strong. She looks around to distract herself but finds nothing. She starts walking towards the door again but stops herself, hearing the same voice but it's intertwined with her own thoughts.
You don't want to do that. What will Eda think of you when she finds out you helped Belos become the monster he is today. She's going to hate you and you deserve it.
Luz feels a heavy wave of guilt wash over her as she starts to believe what this mysterious voice is telling her. She steps away from the door and lies down in her sleeping bag. She wants to cry but is completely numb, subconsciously blocking out her emotions to protect herself.
That's right, you deserve to be alone. And don't worry, if you get too lonely, you'll always have me. I'm never letting you go.
Luz listens to the voice and starts to internalize these dark thoughts. She no longer cares where it's coming from and she isn't afraid because she believes it's right. She stares up at the ceiling, she's exhausted but her mind won't let her sleep.
"I don't know who you are, but you're right. I only end up hurting people and I need to stop thinking I deserve sympathy." Luz said.
Suddenly, Luz snaps out of her thoughts and back to reality when she hears a knock on her door.
"Luz, it's Eda. I know it's hard, but I think we should talk about what happened. Can you please open the door?" Eda asked.
Luz doesn't answer. She just lies there unable to bring herself to get up. Her energy is slowly fading and her body's starting to become weak along with her mind becoming numb.
Eda gets worried and tries to open the door but realizes it's locked.
"Luz, are you okay in there? If you don't answer, I'm going to open the door myself." Eda said.
Luz doesn't answer. She doesn't care what Eda has to say, her emotions are too heavy for her to process and it's causing the world around her to fade.
Suddenly, Eda opens the door and runs over to Luz, shocked and saddened by her emotionless expression as she stares up at the ceiling, not even acknowledging Eda.
Eda tries to be strong, but tears start welling up in her eyes. She's never seen Luz like this before and it scares her. She gently helps Luz sit up and gives her a hug, but she doesn't move. Then she tries to look Luz in the eyes but she just stares at the ground.
"Luz, what's going on?" Eda asked.
Don't tell her. You don't deserve to be cared about. I'll help you let go of your emotions so you don't have to suffer. You just need to let me in.
Luz continues to stare blankly at the ground but finally speaks, her voice tired and cold.
"I'm fine. Just tired. Maybe you should go so I can get some sleep." Luz said.
"Luz, I'm not going to leave you alone like this. If you're not ready to talk about what happened that's okay, but I don't want you pushing me away." Eda replied.
Luz finally looks Eda in the eyes but her expression is hopeless, like she's lost the light in her eyes.
"Eda, please go. I'm not ready to talk and I want to be alone. Please…" Luz said.
Eda's taken aback by this. There's a sad look of desperation in Luz that she's never seen in her, but she remembers experiencing this herself. After she hurt her Dad while under her owl beast curse, she felt a crushing sense of guilt that led her to blame herself.
Eda thinks about what Luz needs from her own perspective and experiences with trauma. She wanted to be alone too, but it never helped. So she gets an idea and knows just the person Luz needs right now.
"Okay Luz, I'll let you be alone. But if you need anything, don't hesitate to come downstairs and talk. And I'm leaving the door open, just in case." Eda said.
"Fine." Luz replied.
Eda gives Luz one last hug, but she doesn't hug her back. She just lies down staring up at the ceiling again, lost in her thoughts.
Eda looks back before she leaves with sadness. She wishes she could help, but Luz is closing herself off and it hurts to see her like this. Fortunately, Eda has a plan. She knows the one person Luz will open up to is Amity, so she heads downstairs and calls her.
Amity flies over on her palisman Ghost and arrives almost immediately. Eda opens the door to let her in and Amity can tell by the worried look on Eda's face that something's wrong.
"Eda, thank you for calling. I haven't heard from Luz in a while and I was starting to worry. Is everything okay?" Amity asked.
"Well, Luz and Hunter were in Emperor Belos's mindscape. I managed to get them out, but both of them were traumatized. I don't know what they saw there, but Hunter ran away panicked. Luz is in her room and she said she wants to be alone, but she's clearly suffering. So I thought you could try and talk to her." Eda explained.
Amity nods, a sad yet serious expression on her face. She knows she can get through to Luz, but seeing Eda so concerned makes her think this might be more than she can handle. Regardless, she's going to try.
"I'll go talk to her." Amity replied.
Amity heads upstairs while Eda stays behind, sitting on the couch with King laying down on her lap.
Once Amity gets to Luz's room, she knocks on the door.
"Luz, it's Amity. Can I come in?" Amity asked.
On the other side of the door, Luz lies down in her sleeping bag still staring up at the ceiling, this time with tears streaming down her face. She's paralyzed, unable to move or speak.
Suddenly, Luz feels a cold wind all around her as she jolts up to a seated position. Something's taking over her and she doesn't understand it. Then she hears that voice again.
Just let me in. You'll be okay. More than that, you'll finally feel a sense of power and control. Freedom from the harsh realities of life. Trust me. I'm a part of you.
Luz takes deep breaths as she tries to calm herself down, but it's not working. She tries to call out to Amity for help, but she can't bring herself to. She's losing control and it terrifies her.
Amity knocks on the door again.
"Luz, are you okay?" Amity asked.
No answer.
Amity starts to worry, tears welling up in her eyes as she assumes the worst.
Luz tries to stand and walk towards the door but falls to the ground.
Amity opens the door and is shocked to see Luz lying on the floor, frozen with fear. She runs by her side and helps her sit up, holding her close while she cries and finally lets out all of her bottled up emotions.
Amity's never seen Luz so broken down. Her happy, optimistic, and brave girlfriend, now torn apart by something she doesn't understand.
"It's okay Luz, I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Amity said.
Luz takes in Amity's words and wishes they were enough, but she feels as though she's too far gone. So she tries to hold on to hope that the people who love her will help her get through this.
"Amity, I'm not okay and I need your help. Something's happening to me and I don't know what to do. I'm so scared." Luz said.
Amity hugs Luz, trying her best to be strong but seeing her girlfriend fall apart like this is heartbreaking.
"Don't worry, Luz. The first step is letting people in when you're struggling and you've done that. I know it won't be easy, but we can fix this together. We always do." Amity said.
Hearing these words, Luz starts to feel hopeful again. But that sense of hope slowly fades away as a mysterious darkness begins to take over her. She begins to feel stone cold as the world around her starts to fade. All she can feel is her strong emotions materializing into something real and dark.
Suddenly, Luz starts laughing in that cold distorted version of her own voice. She looks at Amity with a menacing smile, her eyes now a pale blue color and lifeless instead of her light hazel color. Then she speaks.
"You're right Amity, we can fix this together." Dark Luz said.