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Chapter 32

Previously

With the kage and Jiraiya

"So we are all in agreement?" the 3rd asked

"Aye that fool has lived long enough. He has to die along with his men, those that are beyond saving" the 2nd agreed. What they were discussing was the fate of one war hawk Danzo. He has been a thorn to the authority for far too long and the crimes he has committed are too grave to ignore.

"While you are doing that am I allowed to take Naruto on a mission to find Tsunade?" Jiraiya asked. He was hoping that during this mission he could reconnect with Naruto and teach him a few things. He hoped that if he showed him the rasengan then Naruto would be willing to be his apprentice and not leave the village.

In an underground base somewhere.

"Kabuto prepare to leave we are going to find Tsunade" Orochimaru instructed.

"When are we going to leave master" Kabuto asked.

"Right after I am done with this."

"I will prepare the diapers then. See you tomorrow" and with that the shitfest continued.

Now

D Naruto residence

Hinata and Haku had just come back from a very eventful training session. They were working on strengthening their bloodline techniques as well as getting the hang of new bloodline techniques in the case of Hinata. For Hinata she found out that since she was a close descendent of Kaguya's second son her Byakuugan was a lot stronger than the rest which meant that it could do more than what the standard Byakuugan could do (it didn't make sense to me that they called her the Byakuugan princess yet her Byakuugan worked just like any other Byakuugan).

Additionally she also had an ability not related to the Byakuugan. It was a very strong and useful ability albeit it grossed her out. She was working on better manipulating that ability instead of using it in its crude form. Because of this she took to learning kenjutsu and she was making good progress along with Haku because of well Miya. She was also working in the Torture and Interrogating department under a very happy Ibiki.

For Haku it was more along the lines of making her ice stronger and creating more techniques. For that she needed to master both base elements which were water and wind. She was well on her way to doing that.

Next she needed to learn to form ice out of thin air instead of relying on moisture in the atmosphere. For that she needed to increase her chakra levels so that she can directly convert her chakra to ice. She was making steady progress but her techniques were getting stronger. She also took to learning more medical ninjutsu since this was her passion. She was also doing part time work at the hospital.

Right now the girls appeared in the yard were they sweat dropped. The yard was filled with various items that were piled up in one place. On the opposite side you could see Hanabi and Eri both girls very happy along with a grinning Kaguya. This can't be good if she is involved.

They then heard the pile groan. Okay now that's just weird. Looking closely they could make out a piece of the executioner's blade sticking out as well as some sandy and fluffy appendages.

"Dad? Kurama?" Haku asked.

"Hi/hi" she heard the miffed pained voices from underneath the pile.

"What are you doing under there? On second thought I don't wanna know" she just sighed as she and Hinata went inside. What the heck was Kaguya teaching the little ones anyway?

"How the heck are such trinkets so painful. We are bijuu for goodness sake!" Yin Kurama wondered. These things shouldn't hurt them and the fact that they were thrown by children should make these things feel like nothing. But no these things hurt like hell. This doesn't make any sense at all.

"How the hell did they neutralize my sand? I am made of sand but I got hit by those things. This doesn't make any sense!" Shikaku groaned from under a freaking safe!

"The better question would be, WHERE DID THEY GET THE FREAKING BOAT!" Zabuza shouted. This doesn't make sense at all was the general consensus running through our genuine pigs' heads.

Their thoughts were interrupted by a red blur which exited a portal heading straight for Haku and Hinata. The red blur put on the breaks and all could see it was Kushina dragging a dizzy D Naruto. She had this crazy look in her eyes.

"Zabuza come out so I can shove some stuff right up your ass" everyone sweat dropped.

"Can I am kinda in the middle of something" Zabuza said from under a boat.

Kushina looked at Zabuza then blinked. What the heck was he doing under there?

"Excuse me but who are you?" Haku said in a calm but eerie voice. She didn't take too kindly to people who threatened her father. It took all her willpower to not go hannya on her. Kushina looked at the girl with raised brow. Was the girl trying to scare her or something? Granted the girl was strong but not enough to scare her.

"Listen little girl please stop trying to scare me it's not gonna work. You are 50 years too young to scare me. So why don't you be a good little girl and go and play dolly with your friend there" Kushina said not knowing that she stepped on a landmine. Two actually.

The place was eerie silent, dead silent. Let it be known one girl was bad enough but both of them were downright scary. Kurama (10 tails) looked amused as well as Miya who just came out of the house. Oh this was going to be good. Kaguya was shielding the kids from the horror about to be unleashed. The guys on the other hand were a different story.

"Well shit I think its best we make ourselves scarce" Zabuza said as he had miraculously found his way out of the mayhem he was under along with the bijuu who agreed and quickly disappeared. Let it be known that hannya were not good for your health even if you are not the target.

"Is that so" Hinata said as she closed her eyes and gave Kushina a calm but creepy smile which was mirrored by Haku. Then came the aura of doom which signified the arrival of the hannya squad. Said squad started to materialize from thin air some from the ground. All of them were focusing on the object of interest who was sweating profusely.

Okay this is a new realm for Kushina since she had never been on the receiving end of this. She was known as the scariest woman on the planet (during her time alive) and no one could scare better than her. And that was when she added violence into the mix. But these girls outclassed her by a mile. That's some scary shit right there.

"Come on girls I was just kidding I take it back. Okay let me introduce myself and let's be friends. I am Kushina Uzumaki what's your name" she said nervously hopping those things will disappear (I wanted to use the 'my mother's name is Martha from Batman vs Superman so let's be friends line'). Those things were giving her the look after all and it send all kinds of bad vibes through her body.

Upon hearing the name both girls froze. Naruto did tell them that his mother was brought back by Orochimaru's jutsu but they hadn't met her yet. And there was no photo of her so they didn't know what she looked like. Well this is a fucked up first meeting with your soon to be mother in law. Damn there goes make a good first impression to your mother in law points.

Both girls looked at each other as if they were communicating telepathically. They suddenly disappeared into the house leaving a very confused Kushina and an amused audience. She wanted to ask D Naruto what the heck was going on but all she found was a dotted outline in the place of where he used to be. The dude had bolted as soon as the hannya squad showed up.

Kushina's brow started to twitch violently at her dimensional son leaving her high and dry. She started planning various things to do to him in her head all the while rubbing her hands together while she cackled like a mad man (hey do I look like I belong to the sausage squad!) sorry I mean mad woman. Her musings were cut off when Hinata and Haku returned but they looked different.

Gone were the filthy training gear replaced by some nice yukatas. Gone was the dirt and the penchant smell of sweat replaced and sweet smelling perfume and they looked clean. Plus they looked nervous for some reason. Okay weird. But how they hell did they do that so fast.

Meanwhile an amused Kaguya and Kurama just looked on.

"Damn that was fast. Do you know how to do that it might come in handy someday" Kaguya asked her two sisters who shook their head negatively. Well bummer it would be awesome to change that fast. Beats the two hours women take to wash and change. She will just have to ask the girls to teach them.

"Greetings Kushina-sama my name is Hinata and this is Haku Momochi. We are Naruto's girlfriends" she said in a stuttering voice prompting the three ladies watching to face palm. All that work to get rid of that stutter wasted just because of that red head's presence.

Kushina took some time to process what the two girls said. She then started to circle the girls looking at them as if she was scanning them. Once she was done she took out a notebook and started ticking something whilst humming to herself. The girls looked even more nervous with passing moment. Once she was done she closed her book and placed it back where it came from, where ever that is.

"Heck yah my boy is awesome. Not only did he pick a 10 but two. You girls pass hehehehe" Kushina shouted for joy as she glomped the two surprised girls. Oh she was so proud of her boy to pick up these girls. They possessed all the qualities she wanted in a daughter in law and that's including the scare factor. They were perfect.

"Pretty soon I am gonna have lots of grandbabies. And dibs on the first girl having my name" Kushina said to no one in particular. Why because both girls had passed out when they heard about the grandbabies thing. Well particularly the baby making process. What, they were closet perverts after all.

Kushina sweat dropped then turned her sights on the women watching the show. She grinned. "Hoo so you are my dimensional daughters in law. Let's give you a thorough examination hehehe" Kushina said with a pervy giggle all the while making groping motions.

"Okay she is definitely nuts" Kaguya said before she found out Miya and Kurama had conveniently disappeared. They did have experience with perverted women after all so they could one from a mile away. Good luck Kaguya.

With the Kage

While Kushina was causing mayhem the Kage were planning a raid on Danzo's stronghold that D Naruto provided the location to along with a seal that would piss off Danzo. The 3rd had gathered his elite ANBU even the retired ones (yes that means Kakashi was there too) and some top class jounin. They were gathered on top of the tower and the 3rd and the 4th were addressing them. The operation was known to a select few to avoid leaks and tipping off Danzo.

All the ninja were ready to go but they were waiting for someone or rather someones. The 1st and the 2nd were still in the office doing who knows what. They said they would be there and that was an hour ago. The ninja were getting impatient while the 3rd was getting aggravated. For legendary shinobi they sure were late, it was like they were pulling a Kakashi on them.

The 3rd sighed thinking what to do next. Why because all 10 ANBU he send to retrieve the two never returned. What were those two doing and why didn't the messengers he sent come back. He decided to send another one and this one will bring them here for sure.

"Kakashi go get the others. Tell them that its imperative they hurry up we are about to start the operation" the 3rd instructed. He honestly regretted showing those two his collection. Kakashi nodded before heading for the office.

Once he got there he sweat dropped to see the two kage as well as the 10 ANBU sent to retrieve them busy flipping through the popular series that blew his precious porn books out of the water. What's worse the series was named after him. He didn't know whether he was going to be angry or embarrassed at this very moment.

The 1st peeked from his book when he noticed that someone was standing at the door. He was so engrossed with this cartoon series that he failed to detect the guy until he was standing at the door. This series is just that good. Chibi Kakashi clips is freaking awesome.

When the 3rd showed them his collection at first they were uninterested but that all changed after going through the first volume. The two then said that they would be joining the others for battle shortly after they finished the second volume. One thing led to another and now they were just about done with the entire series.

Screw the raid, nothing else matters at this point. It's just them and the beautiful cartoons that could brighten up anyone's day well except for Kakashi that is. The ANBU sent to retrieve them didn't take much convincing actually. The 2nd just threw them a book and they gladly joined them.

However the 1st froze when he saw who it was. It took him some time to break out of his frozen state. He looked at the man at the door then compared him with the picture on the cover of the book he was holding.

Okay gravity defying silver hair check. Mask covering lower part of the face, check. Head band covering one eye, check. Yap that's his it's got to be. This got him so excited. Can you imagine seeing the main character of a popular series right in front of you?

"Brother brother look look look" the 1st exclaimed as sparkles danced in his eyes showing how excited he was. He was acting like a child who has just met his hero.

"What!" the 2nd shouted refusing to take his eyes off his book. He had found a new hobby and no one was going to disturb him.

"But brother it's him. He is actually here"

"And who is here?" the 2nd asked eyes still glued to the book.

"It's I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!" and that did it. The 2nd took his eye off his book he looked at the door were his brother was staring at. He looked at the man then compared him with the book cover. Yap it's him, he really does exist.

For Kakashi it was like he wanted to just kill himself or bury himself in the deepest parts of the sea. He was known in the ninja world as Kakashi of the Sharingan a famous and feared name. But to hear a Kage call him that name broke him.

His standing warranted him to be respected by the Kage but that damn cartoon series ruined his image. Its only matter of time before the rest of the Ninja world called him that. Would they could change his alias in the bingo book and replace it with that name.

The 2nd made his way towards Kakashi with his usual stoic face. Then he did something that surprised everyone in the room and broke Kakashi even more.

"Can I get your autograph?" the 2nd said in a cheerful voice with sparkles shining around him. His aura had completely changed from his usual buzz kill aura to that of an excited child. His excited squeals didn't make it easier too. The 1st was also there with his own copy held out.

Kakashi robotically signed the books turned around and sped away while crying. Its official he was ruined. The Kage just looked at the guy oddly. Meh as long as their books signed it's enough for them. Now to find a way to snick these into the afterlife.

Back to the 3rd he just sighed when he saw Kakashi speeding past everyone with tears leaking out of his one eye while shouting about something not fair. The 3rd pinched the bridge of his nose. Okay he was playing his last resort.

"Neko would you kindly go and collect those idiots" Neko nodded before she disappeared in a shushin she arrived at the office door and heard some familiar sounds. Almost everyone in the ANBU in the force knows that sound. It was a sound associated with Kakashi when he was busy reading his smut. Oh no please don't tell me that both Kage were hooked on that stuff too. Neko in her righteous feminine fury just budged into the room to find some that she never imagined she would see.

Scattered across the floor was a very popular hit series that she recognised almost immediately. I mean she had like the entire series herself. In the middle of the room were both Kage seating on the floor while flipping the pages furiously while giggling to themselves. Even the other 10 send to retrieve the Kage were busy enjoying themselves.

You could see tick marks appearing on her mask signifying that she was angry. Without a word she walked into the room closed the door. What followed next was a horror show like the one that occurred in that very office earlier. All you could here were sound of grown men begging for their health and sound of crashing and furniture being destroyed. On the roof top the 3rd just smirked while the rest of the team sweat dropped.

After a few minutes the door burst open and the ANBU burst out of there running back to the others. Neko on the other hand came out dragging the two Kage by their ears.

"Ouch ouch ouch please just a few more minute" the 1st begged.

"Yah we were almost done" the 2nd tried to reason with her. Women were scary when they wanted to be.

"Oh hell no the last time you said that we waited for you for an hour" Neko said as she ignored their begging. But as she came out her eyes caught a glimpse of something. The latest volume of the Chibi Kakashi series. She didn't have this one. She made a clone claiming that it was going to clean up but we all know what was in her head. By the time the 3rd would go over his collection one volume will be missing hehehe.

Danzo's lair

Our old war hawk was just chilling on his throne going over his failures over and over again in his head. For years he worked so hard in the shadows to become what he is today. He was so close to fulfilling his dream but that failed spectacularly. All that planning gone down the drain and his army was downsized too.

BOOM

What the hell? A ROOT agent appeared in front of his master kneeling.

"Report"

"Sir we are under attack. Our base had been found out and the Kages are storming the base" the agent reported. Shit this wasn't good. Why can't things go his way for a change?

The entrance to the throne room blew up showing the three zombie kage. The 3rd was not with them. He was assigned to lead the rescue and clean-up crew. They were to rescue the kidnapped children and see if there are any agents redeemable. The other kage were to deal with Danzo himself. Overkill yes but a statement had to be made.

Danzo's faithful subordinates were at his side ready to defend their master but they were instantly killed in a yellow flash. They never stood a chance. So was just Danzo himself who had revealed his hidden arm much to the disgust of the other Kage.

The 2nd prepared the seal that D Naruto gave them and activate it. What it did was that it nullified one of Danzo's trump cards, Shisui's eye genjutsu (I forgot its name). D Naruto could have made another one to nullify the Izanami but well it wasn't that dangerous to something that's dead already.

There were no words exchanged, no Danzo please explain yourself. No there was no need for that. All that was left was to get rid of the pest. Danzo went through a few hand seals and fired some wind bullets at the 2nd who didn't dodge. The bullets ripped him apart but he soon reformed.

"Really? You do know that we can reform from any damage you inflict on us right" the 2nd said in a matter of fact. Danzo berated himself for forgetting that but was impelled by wooden spikes from behind. He disappeared and reappeared in another part of the room.

"Well that one down and many more to go. Thank you so much for having that many eyes. It makes it easier for us to kill you multiple times and vent our anger out on you" the 1st said. While Danzo's technique was dangerous to living beings, to the undead it meant jack shit. He was just prolonging his inevitable demise that's all.

Danzo tried to find a way to escape but the room was sealed by a barrier so there was no escape for him. He tried his best to keep a level head, but the more he was killed by the kage who seemed to be enjoying taking turns to kill him, fear began to take hold. It increased when he realised that he was now on his last life.

He tried the genjutsu he had saved up for a rainy day but his eyes widened when he realised that he can't access it. This was his best shot at survival but it didn't work. So he took the coward's way out. He blew himself up. There was no way he was going to be captured.

"Damn that was anti climatic. I was hoping he would beg for his life" the 4th said with a sigh as they went to meet the others.

The mission was completed. The young children who hadn't fully been indoctrinated were returned to their families and some enrolled into the academy after a little rehab. Other ROOT members were grafted in the ninja corps (including Sai) while the more Danzo fanatics were done away with. And so ended Danzo and the ROOT.

Next day

After learning about Danzo's demise, Naruto couldn't be happier. No more mummy trying to ruin his life and use him and his future offspring as weapons. That dude was seriously mental that's for sure. Hope there won't be a sequel to the mummy.

Oh and when he got back from submitting his new volume to Anko he was surprised to find his mother at home spending some time with his girlfriends. Yah that was very awkward especially when she kept mentioning grandbabies. And let's not forget she tried to molest Kaguya to make sure she wasn't flat under that bulky kimono of hers.

And dinner was even more awkward with Zabuza glaring at Naruto daring him to try something to his daughters while Kushina kept urging Naruto to hurry up and give her grandbabies. Let's just say Naruto didn't go to the bath house with the other guys fearing to loss his chilupa.

As for Gaara he was well Gaara. He was just looking at the proceedings with a confused look as he didn't understand what was going on. His rehab was going slow but at least he lost his blood lust. Well mainly because almost all the occupants of the house scared him plus Shikaku was now mellow and not driving him crazy.

Anyway it was early in the morning and Naruto was about to go and meet his 'team' to resume their 'training' session which was cancelled to let the guys recover well more like give Sasuke time to recover. After the chunin exams Kakashi was told what the 3rd said about genin skill review. He was worried that Sasuke and mainly Sakura would get in trouble. Naruto was more than okay but Kakashi as sensei wanted to teach him something and maybe reconnect with his sensei's son.

We find a groggy Naruto exiting his room heading for the bathroom. In his state Naruto didn't have any situational awareness so he was not prepare for what he was walking into. All he knew was that he was about to wipe his eyes when his face met a kitchen sink. A flying kitchen sink.

When he recovered he shook his head as he tried to get his bearings. He looked in the direction of where the sink came from and saw a grinning Eri and Hanabi. Okay what the hell.

He didn't have time to think as he started dodging various staff thrown at him by the girls. Well now that he was quite awake thanks to a certain kitchen sink Naruto easily dodged the small things. It was quite amusing seeing the little girls pout when he dodged. However he was thinking where the hell where they getting those things as he went outside. Big mistake.

As soon as he was outside his eyes widened when he was forced to dodge a freaking giant safe which crushed behind him shaking the ground a bit.

"What the hell. What the heck was that? And where the heck did that come from?" Naruto asked bewildered by what had just missed him. He looked at the huge safe wide eyed then at the little girls then back at the safe. Yah there was no way in hell those girls could lift let alone throw that thing.

"That is a jutsu aunty Kaguya taught us. It's called Where the heck did those things come from/ Women don't make sense no jutsu" Hanabi declared happily with Eri backing her up with cute yah.

"That doesn't make any sense" Naruto said confused. What the heck does a safe have to do with women?

"Exactly" Hanabi said before they threw more staff at Naruto. Okay now it was time to bolt out of there. Before Naruto could strategically withdraw (running away) he dodged a wrecking ball then got nailed by a freaking boat.

"Yes that's how it feels" Zabuza shouted for joy. It was good to know that he wasn't the only one who got nailed by a boat.

"Hehehe in your face or boat to the face if you will" Yang Kurama said clearly enjoying the show. They have been watching the event since the beginning. They were the ones that bribed the girls in to doing it. The girls at first refused stating it was too early but one mention of ice cream did the trick.

"Ouch that hurts. You guys are nuts" Naruto shouted having freed himself from his boat issue.

"Of course we are. And it took you that long to figure that out" said a grinning Zabuza. Naruto just sighed and went to perform the usual morning routine before he and Hinata went to meet their teams. Haku went to the hospital as she usually does to do some volunteer work while she learnt more medical ninjutsu.

Team 7 Training ground

Arriving at the training ground he found Sasuke and Sakura already there. Sasuke was his usual emo self although he looked angrier than usual. Naruto could tell there was a darkness growing in him. He noticed it just after the failed invasion and also noted it after the announcement about his heritage.

Sasuke was always an egotistic bastard but to let his ego and jealousy control him to this point, Naruto bet that soon the idiot was going to do something very stupid. All because Naruto happened to be way better than him in every way. He wouldn't be surprised if someone like Orochimaru took advantage of this.

As for Sakura well she was also another complication or rather an annoyance. Ever since Hinata announced that she was his girlfriend, Naruto had felt her jealousy and anger towards Hinata. He could surmise that since he stopped his advances towards Sakura (which again he wondered why the hell he did that) and directed his attention towards Hinata it must have bruised Sakura's ego.

She always felt good about herself when Naruto fawned over her and showered her with affection even though her mighty Uchiha shot her down. And now that that affection is gone directed to someone else she felt so alone. She felt undesirable (she was still blind to Lee's affection) and also her ego was dealt a massive blow.

Worse Hinata seemed to have blossomed into quite the lady while she was well plain. So she directed her anger on Hinata and made it her goal to get Naruto. And now that he was a somebody she had to make sure that if she couldn't get the Uchiha then she will have to get the 4th Hokage's son.

So now she was a pain in Naruto's behind. The greetings and smiles he craved for not too long ago were dished out to him in spades. Long ago he would have been very happy but this was just an annoyance.

"Hello Naruto-kun" Sakura greeted Naruto in a cheerful voice. It took all of Naruto's might to avoid shuddering and blowing off on the girl. She had a delicate mental state after all. He wouldn't want to be the one to destroy it.

"Hello Sakura" Naruto said in a flat tone which got Sakura to frown. She was expecting him to go all Sakura-chan on her like the idiot he was. However that didn't happen and she could see that he had lost interest in her which stung her pride since she had turned on her charm (creepy).

Naruto chose to seat in a tree reading his book on sealing while trying to ignore the glances he got from Sakura and the not so subtle glares from the Uchiha. Its times like these he wished Kakashi would show up on time this was freaking annoying.

As if answering his prayer Kakashi appeared on sight reading his porn as usual. But what was unusual was that he was on time for training. That never happened. It could only mean that...

"Oi before you try to kill me I can confirm its me" Kakashi said while sweating profusely. Why because three clones of Naruto were inches away from making him mort. The other two genin were surprised at how fast Naruto reacted.

"Prove it" Naruto said in a serious tone.

"I hate you for this. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" said a dejected Kakashi.

"Yap that's him. For the record I already knew it was you. I am a sensor duh" said a smirking Naruto. He really enjoyed messing with Kakashi that much. Making his say such staff was so much fun.

"I really really hate you" Kakashi said.

"Yah I know and I don't care. Plus making you miserable is so much fun" Naruto said in a cheerful manner causing Kakashi to pop a lot of veins.

"Anyway because of a new development in the system caused by a certain someone (pointing at Naruto) all genin teams will undergo periodic reviews to check for their progress. So I am going to train you in various areas or at least recommend you to someone" Kakashi explained.

"You can focus more on these two rather than on me. I already know what I need to do to improve. Devote most of your time on Sakura she needs more attention than any of us" Naruto said as he jumped down from the tree.

"What dobe you think you are strong enough to refuse training from sensei" Sasuke said a bit peeved that Naruto said he was not strong enough while Sakura looked dejected.

"No I am not strong enough but I would rather prefer bro's torture. Besides someone is here for me. Isn't that right Jiraiya" the others looked confused until they heard a chuckle. The air distorted until Jiraiya was revealed surprising everyone even Kakashi.

"Hoo you found me out. Took you long enough" Jiraiya said with a smirk.

"If by long enough you mean I found you out when I left the temple then you followed me here then yah" Naruto said.

"You knew I was there from the beginning but how?" Jiraiya asked bewildered. He prided himself in creating his invisibility technique which he used to infiltrate a lot of secure places without being detected by the best sensors. For this kid to claim such a thing is remarkable.

"Everyone knows I am a sensor and a damn good one duh"

"Excuse me Jiraiya-sama not that I am not honored by your presence or anything but what are you doing here?" Kakashi asked his fellow pervert.

"Oh I am here to take Naruto here on a mission, an S rank mission" Jiraiya said while looking at Naruto. The others looked surprised while Naruto had a blank look. He knew what Jiraiya wanted to do and honestly it was going to be an annoying trip.

"What! Why are you taking the dobe on such an important mission? Shouldn't you take someone of a higher caliber" Sasuke ranted obviously referring to himself. Why do people think that the dobe was better than him?

"It's not the type of mission you are thinking of. It should be a C rank at best. We are just going to find an old hag that's all" Naruto said.

"An old hag. You will change your mind once you see her. She is the most beautiful woman on the planet. And the melons she has are to die for" Jiraiya said before he disappeared into lala land where he was allowed to touch said melons. Poor dude.

"You mean to say that you are going to looking for her. The one whose melons are said to be stuff of legend. They are said to be Boobs of bra destruction. The legendary sucker" Kakashi exclaimed wide eyed with Jiraiya nodding with a grin.

The genin however were a different story. How can someone from the Leaf possess such a repulsive name? The name was too suggestive and all genin came to the same conclusion evidenced by the blushes on their faces.

"Seriously how can you guys say that with a straight face? And why is someone that lewd a candidate for Hokage!" shouted Naruto with the other genin agreeing with him although they were surprised about the Hokage bit.

It took the two grownups little time to process what the genin said. Each of them then disappeared again in to their fantasy world featuring the legendary sucker.

"Hehehehe I wish she was that. But sadly no. It's just that she loves gambling but sucks at it big time. Now go get packed we are leaving in 30 minutes" Jiraiya ordered.

"Already packed old man lets go and if you are wondering how I knew let's just say a little birdy told me" Naruto said heading for the village gate.

So the two headed off on their mission leaving the incomplete team 7 to train. He just hoped that Kakashi get his act together and train those two properly. Also he hoped that Kakashi would talk some sense into Sasuke and not nurture that ego of his.

The journey was relatively silent as both males didn't have anything to talk about or in Jiraiya's case he was trying to find the right words to begin the conversation. Naruto as usual was enjoying being outside the village and seeing a bit of the world. This is one of the reasons he didn't protest coming on this stupid mission.

"So Naruto are you excited about the mission" Jiraiya asked hoping to start a proper conversation.

"No not really. I just wanted to get out of the village for a while" Naruto said in a bored tone. Jiraiya frowned at this. He was hoping the kid would be excited to go on a mission with him but he was wrong. The kid really hates the village. Maybe a powerful jutsu would bribe him.

"So how about some training? I can teach you an A rank jutsu that your father invented" Jiraiya said with a grin as he formed a rasengan in his hand(he didn't know that Naruto could use the jutsu). Naruto looked at the jutsu blankly before commenting.

"It's a C rank in my opinion"

"What?" Jiraiya asked confused.

"I said that jutsu is a C rank not an A rank. Its weaknesses outweigh its strengths. It has a very high probability of getting you killed." Naruto explained.

"Ho and can you explain further" Jiraiya said with a grin as he shoved the jutsu into a boulder destroying it. He wanted to show the kid just how powerful the jutsu was and peak the kid's interest.

"Power wise its okay I guess. But in order to get your opponent you need to get in close. You need to drive the jutsu into your opponent and for that you need to extend your hand which will either be grabbed or sliced off" he explained. This is one of the fundamentals his brother taught him.

Once he was an idiot who thought that jutsu ranks meant everything and he loved high rank jutsu. But his brother taught him to study a jutsu analyze it for strengths and weaknesses and edit it if possible. This is one of the reasons he makes smaller fireballs instead of aiming to make big ones unless the situation calls for it.

"Well said little bro" D Naruto said as he appeared out of thin air startling the two.

"Damnit bro quit doing that and what are you doing here anyway?" Naruto shouted. Jiraiya just narrowed his eyes at D Naruto. He never liked the man after he saw the change in Naruto. Let it be known Jiraiya doesn't like to admit his mistakes.

"Well you see I thought that since you will be away for a while you can continue training your wind element so we are moving on to the next stage" D Naruto said while throwing something at Naruto whose brow began to twitch violently.

"You cant be serious man this is insane. This is like impossible to do!" Naruto shouted. This was insane totally insane. Jiraiya just looked at them in confusion before he smirked. Maybe this was his chance to train Naruto in something.

"You know if you can't train him properly then let me. I can take him to the Wind temple where they can teach him to use his affinity"

"Yah no can do dude. Everyone uses standard affinity training but we Uzumaki are different. Our training creed is 'Screw standard training methods. We use insane training methods'" D Naruto explained.

"Oh and how insane is your training methods for wind" Jiraiya asked.

"He wants me to cut this in half" Naruto said as he revealed a fist sized diamond in his hand. Jiraiya's eyes widened. That was impossible. Even the strongest wind user can't do that.

"Allow me to explain the difference between the standard training method and ours. The difference is that your best level is our novice level. After cutting a waterfall we move on to cutting a block of steel then cutting a diamond then taming a hurricane. The last level is secret but it is the true test of wind mastery hehehe" D Naruto said as he took a diamond of his own into his fist and sliced the thing into tiny little pieces as proof that it is possible. Jiraiya paled at the training method. It truly was insane.

"Well if you think this is insane wait till we move on to water. You will be playing with whirlpools. Anyway kid good luck and no clones. But before I go be prepared for the two guests you will meet. Bye" D Naruto said as he disappeared leaving two shell shocked ninja. Okay Jiraiya thought he knew the best insane training methods but this guy was on another level of crazy. Naruto just sighed and started his training while they walked heading for a town that was about to be a weird warzone.

Two cloaked figures were heading where our little hero was going. They were walking in relative silence until one of them started the conversation.

"You know Itachi we gotta thank Zetsu stopping us from infiltrating the village. We would be dead for sure" Kisame said to his partner as he sweated a bit.

"Yes that was very close. And Zetsu didn't escape unscathed too. He was very lucky to be alive. Who knew that the previously dead Kage were still around" Itachi said as he recalled the state Zetsu was in when he intercepted them.

When Zetsu was snooping around looking for the Kyuubi jinchuuriki around the village (he failed to infiltrate the temple) he was unfortunate enough to be detected by the 2nd. During his escape he ran into the other 2 zombie kage. Well you can come up with the conclusion on what happened next. He got the crap kicked out of him but he escaped nevertheless, he is good at that.

A badly beat up Zetsu then intercepted his compatriots who ran for their lives putting as much distance between them and the village. After that Zetsu relayed to the two pieces of infor he managed to dig up. First Danzo and his ROOT were no more and secondly the jinchuuriki was out of the village with Jiraiya. So this was their chance to capture the boy.

And so the two S ranked criminals headed for the small town to intercept their target. His bodyguard was a known pervert so a smooth plan was already formulated to get rid of him so they can achieve their objective. It was going to be a very interesting meeting.

And done

I had promised Naruto would meet the Akatsuki in this chapter so sorry but the next chapter they will meet. Also as I said before my first two fics are taking longer than planned so I might cut some arcs out. I was planning on finishing this then move on to D Naruto's story after that I might move on to a Naruto Demon slayer crossover or a fairy tail crossover.

Please not in my future fan fics Naruto will not be a big fan of Konoha or some people in Konoha. At most he will leave the village and start his adventures.

See yah next time.

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