Lincoln waited until he was sure Luna was asleep before creeping out of the bottom bunk, carefully stepping over the various litter on the floor. He quietly opened and closed the door, and tip-toed all the way to the bottom of the stairs. Scanning the darkened living room, he made it one step toward the master bedroom before a subtle noise sliced through the still night air.
'That sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. Maybe she's looking for a midnight snack?' He pivoted on the spot and snuck through the dining room, freezing in place when a beam of light opened through the doorway before disappearing again. 'The refrigerator...I hope.' Moving forward one more time, he peered around the corner to see a dark figure setting a box on the counter. Stepping fully into the doorway, he squinted to try and get a better look. 'Short, a little shorter than me...blends in with the darkness..looking for food at midnight...' Edging slightly closer, he softly called out, "Lucy?"
His goth sister jumped clear into the air, and she spun around to face him, arms akimbo and hands primed to scratch someone's eyes out before she realized who'd discovered her. "Lincoln?" The tension drained from her posture so quickly that he feared she would deflate, and with a hint of embarrassment, she admitted, "you scared me."
Lincoln grinned for a moment. "Heh, it's not often someone can say they got the drop on Lucy Loud." That grin faded as he realized how anxious she must be to actually express that fear. The day's events caught up with him, and he lowered his voice to ask, "hey, where were you all day? You missed dinner...though I can see you're taking care of that, at least."
She folded her arms, looking past him — at least, he thought so — in the direction he'd come from. "How much do you know about what happened since last night?"
"This again," he sighed, "so you got caught up in it too?"
"More than that," she replied, "you need to hear some things...follow me." She swept toward the door to the basement before he could argue, and he hurried to keep up with her. Flipping the light on, she led him to where the laundry chute emptied from upstairs. She crawled inside and he followed soon after, the two of them ending up in a cosy little hovel she'd made for herself. Half-melted candles sat next to a small collection of poetry books, and the walls had been sprayed black.
With a low whistle, Lincoln took in the view. "Wow, you really put some work into this since that treasure hunt, huh?"
His sister produced a flashlight from among her possessions and closed the chute door. Flicking it on, she lowered her already quiet voice, "yeah. It's a good thing I did, too. Lincoln," her voice hitched, and she shook her head, "you came down here looking for Leni, right?"
Resting on his knees, he wished he could see her eyes to gauge what she was thinking. "Yeah. You're going to tell me not to, right?"
Lucy nodded her head. "She's going to hurt you, Lincoln, like she did to everyone besides me who wasn't at dinner tonight."
He jumped forward, supporting himself with his hands as he asked, "what happened? No one will give me a straight answer!" Luna's story had provided some much-needed background, but he needed to know what he was dealing with in the present. It made sense that Lucy would be the source of information he needed, practically living in the vents as she did.
She informed him of Lynn's poisoning, discovered by Lisa; the fight with Lori, and Leni's plan for their parents; that she herself had been threatened, albeit not in person. As her brother sat in stunned silence, she begged him, "don't go, Lincoln. Everyone who gets near her right now gets hurt, and if something happened to you, I..." She brought her hands up to wipe underneath her bangs. "Lori got hurt because I didn't listen to her, it's my fault. But now you know, and you can avoid her until Mom and Dad get home."
"So it's really true," he uttered, falling back to sit on his rear. "It's true." Lucy began to reach toward him, only to snatch her hand away as he slammed his fists into the ground. "It's my fault..." All of the blood here, literal and figurative, that was on Leni's hands was on his as well. 'She did it because she's sick, though...it wasn't her fault, at least not totally..but it IS mine.'
"Lincoln?" She scooted next to him, sitting shoulder to shoulder. He leaned on her, and she returned the gesture. "You were the one who stopped her from taking the medicine, weren't you?" She asked without accusing, but it did little to improve his state of mind.
Nodding listlessly, he answered with a hollow voice, "yeah...this is my fault, all of it. You can't blame yourself for what happened to Lori, because she wouldn't have had to do that if it weren't for me." All of this had happened in just two days. What was the rest of the week going to be like?
He opened and closed his hands, opened and closed his eyes as he recognized what he needed to do. 'I have to make this right. For Leni, and for everyone else.'
Lincoln made to stand up, and Lucy grabbed his arm. "Don't do it, Lincoln, it's not worth it."
His eyes snapped to her, and in a rare display of anger at her he retorted, "yes it is! All of you are worth it, even Leni." He truly believed that, and it helped allay his concern for what was coming.
Lucy recoiled, her hand falling away from him. "I didn't mean...I know, Lincoln. She's my sister too," she whispered.
The anger went as quickly as it had come, and he knelt next to her again. "I know, Lucy. Just...just try to wait this out, alright? I won't let her do anything to you, I promise." He set a hand on her shoulder for reassurance, and she placed her own over his.
"That's not what I'm worried about now. Promise me YOU won't get hurt," she demanded.
It was a promise he wasn't sure he could keep anymore. So he lied, "I promise." After a quick hug, he departed from the secret dark place to return upstairs, finding himself face to face with the most imposing structure in the house.
He knocked twice on the door, and a tense voice answered from within, "who's there?"
Any other night, he'd have gone for some kind of Luan-esque joke, but not this time. "It's me, Lincoln."
There was silence for a few seconds, before the soft sound of feet padding toward the door ended with that door clicking open slightly. "Lincoln...what are you doing up this late?" Leni seemed tired, he noted, but not from lack of sleep.
"I wanted to say sorry for earlier, and if you still want to, I was hoping we could talk." In the back of his mind, he feared he was going to get a much different talk than what he'd been referring to. Quashing it, he was determined to take her measure for himself. She looked at him with those tired eyes for a moment before closing them and opening the door the rest of the way. He quickly stepped in, and she closed it behind him. He didn't hear the lock click, which was a good start.
The nightstand lamp was on, and in the dim light Lincoln surveyed the damage dealt by a fight he didn't fully appreciate the intensity of. "Sorry for the mess, I've got some cleaning to do tomorrow," she drawled, before addressing him with a more contrite expression and tone, "I'm sorry too. You didn't deserve the attitude I gave you, I just didn't want to talk about this," she motioned with one arm, "in front of Lana and Lola." Looking to one end of the room, she added in a lower voice, "and her."
Lincoln followed her line of sight to see that Lily and her crib had ended up here at some point. That should have concerned him, he felt, but she'd had ample opportunity to hurt Lily if she wanted to, and she hadn't acted on it yet; the infant was sleeping peacefully, her blanket in hand. Nodding in acceptance, he asked, "so what is this?" He indicated the same aftermath that she had.
Climbing fully onto the bed, she drew her knees to her chest. "This is where Lori and I fought today...where I managed to fight her off." She didn't seem happy about it, and Lincoln hoped that perhaps he'd been overreacting to Luna's history lesson earlier. 'It could be an act, though,' he reminded himself.
"What about Luan?"
"That happened in the basement last night. She thought you were doing the laundry, and she came down there with her camera..." She motioned for him to join her on the bed. Ignoring his base instincts, he did as he was bade, and slid over to sit shoulder to shoulder with her. "I saw some of her videos, Lincoln...those horrible videos she keeps in her closet. Like, videos of you, of me, everyone." The tape's she personally viewed came back to haunt her memory, and she hid her eyes behind her drooping bangs. "I went off on her, and let it slip that I remembered. She got mad, and wanted to tell Lori, and I just...I just snapped..."
She began to shiver next to him, and he put a comforting arm around her. It was so easy to fall back into the pattern, trying to maintain the image he had of her as his saintly sister. That image was tainted, though, and he needed to ask some hard questions again to salvage it.
"Leni," he spoke softly, "what did they say? What did you say? I can't believe it came down to a real fight..."
She sniffed, and lifted her head just enough for him to see her glassy eyes. "I told them that I was better, that they didn't have to worry anymore. They just wouldn't listen, though...they don't want to believe I'm better now."
She'd taken the hook. As poorly as he felt about it, it was time to reel her in. "Better than what, Leni? Why were they so scared, so mad?"
Her eyes widened, and she lurched away from him, realizing her mistake. "Better than...better than I was before, before they changed me..." He'd seen through her again. Just like Lori and Luna.
He crawled after her, determined to get a straight answer. "Why did they change you? You remember now, right?" His heart ached at the tremor in her voice, the fact that she felt she needed to run from him. He may have been the only person with that power, though, and he had to try to use it to help her.
Soon she was at the edge of the bed, and she nearly fell backward before catching herself. "Lincoln, why are you doing this?" He was supposed to be her true friend, her protector. "They c-came after me, I was just trying to defend myself!" She began to tense up, the familiar urge to fight her way out welling within her.
'He knows.'
'This is where it all goes wrong.'
'This is where he figures everything out.'
'This is where you lose the only person left in the world who really cares about you.'
'You deserve it, too, for not just finishing the job.'
'The only way to finish it now is to finish everyone. Finish him.'
She gripped her head and shook it, and he halted his advance. "Leni, please, tell me what's going on. We can fix this." He carefully closed the distance and gently placed his hands on hers. Leni's eyes shot open, and that feral anger was there, ready to turn loose itself on him.
"Lincoln, don't," she choked, every fiber if her being calling out to her to put him down before he could do the same to her first. "You don't know what 'this' is."
"I know enough," he answered firmly, "Leni, I know you want help, and I-"
The bed creaked and jostled as she threw her arms forward to grab him by the shoulders, nearly digging her nails through the fabric of his nightshirt as she shoved him down. His face paled as she leaned over him, eyes wide with anger and something he couldn't quite peg as she bared her teeth.
"You can't give me what I want, Lincoln," she hissed, seeing Lori in her mind's eye, "no one can." She tightened her grip, and he winced as the nails began to cut.
Fear nearly clouded her judgement, but he had come here knowing the risks. "Y-you're right, Leni," he breathed, confusion entering her visage at the admission, "no ONE can." He reached his arms up to wrap around her waist.
Remembering the way her sisters had gone after her injury like a weak point, and knowing that he knew of it too, she released one hand to grab a fistful of his hair, forcing him back down. He grimaced, but he didn't let go, using his more stable position to unbalance her and pull her down into an awkward hug.
"But EVERY one can. They still care, just like I do. I-it's okay to let someone help, Leni," Lincoln assuaged her, putting on a brave face despite becoming her fifth victim, "I told you before, I'm with you on this." He moved his arms up her back to bring her head in close, and he finished, "no matter what."
The throwback to their first encounter drained the breath and fight out of her, edging out the anger and self-pity. She looked down at him, eyes still wide open, but open with fear and regret now. Her shaking hands left his head and shoulder, and she leaned back, bringing him with her as she wrapped her arms around him. "Lincoln," she whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
For the first time since she'd recovered, she truly was.
"That's alright," he whispered back, returning the hug, "I'm going to help you find out. We all are. We love you, Leni." He rested his chin on her shoulder and assured her, "I love you."
She increased her hold on him, but it was full of need this time. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Lincoln...I remember it all, and I still don't know what to do anymore..."
They remained that way for what seemed like the entire night, close enough to feel each other's heartbeats. Leni's hammering in her chest, and Lincoln's steadfast in spite of putting himself on the line. 'I think Luna was right,' he decided, 'she is in there somewhere...we just need to find a way to bring her out and keep her here.' The pain she'd just inflicted on him still lingered, but she had pulled herself back this time. He had to believe that she could do it again.
"Lincoln," she eventually broke the silence, "will you sleep here tonight?"
He didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah, I can do that."
Shortly thereafter he found himself wrapped in her embrace, his back to her chest as she shut off the lamp. The two of them drifted off, both heads filled with plans for the coming days. Lincoln's head was filled with plans to try and save Leni from herself and her family, and Leni's head was filled with retribution yet to be served to the people who deserved it most. Those plans, however, began to lose shape in the face of her only brother's — her one true friend's — unrelenting grace.
The gentle pitter-patter of spring rain on the sides and windows of the house sang a soothing cadence as Lincoln emerged from slumber, still wrapped in Leni's arms under the thick quilt of their parents' bed. Disoriented at first by the unusual surroundings, the pinpricks of pain in his shoulders and scalp reminded him of yet another fateful encounter last night; his first glimpse of another side of his sister. 'Leni...what are we going to do?' He unhooked his arms from the pillow he'd latched onto during the night and settled them over his sister's, spurring her to draw him even closer in her sleep. Everything had seemed so epic last night, the climax of a quest that had begun four days hence. He'd felt so righteous as he boldly stepped into the lion's den to confront the fabled monster in whose embrace he was currently ensnared.
Now, with a well-rested mind, he thanked his lucky stars that he wasn't waking up in a heap and bit his lip in agitation at a missed opportunity to question Leni when she was on the ropes. 'She won't give me that kind of chance again.' It wasn't just regret that undermined his previous confidence, for a lingering fear brought the image of her face etched with fury to his mind unbidden.
The stories he'd heard from Luna and Lucy, coupled with what he himself had almost been subjected to, filled his head with vivid images that he tried to shake away. 'She stopped, though. She won't hurt me. She will not hurt me.' As he tried to convince himself of that, he glanced down to where his hands rested near hers. Somehow he had failed to notice the bandages around her knuckles, the cuts on her fingers and the chipped nails she would normally never allow to occur.
As many times as he repeated the mantra in his head, it didn't change the fact that she already had, however briefly. If his other sisters were to be believed, though, then he'd almost literally gotten a slap on the wrist compared to some of them. 'She really took down Lori? I mean, Lucy said that it was because of her, but still...and Lynn, too.' Bar Luna, those two were the heaviest hitters in the house, and he began to understand how things had shifted so radically in just a couple of days. 'She was planning something like this. Ever since Friday, since I...since I...' His eyes clamped shut and he brought a hand up to rest on his head, willing the guilt away and failing quite miserably. 'This all happened because of me. I could have asked Lori, Mom or Dad before I just got rid of her medicine.'
The same thoughts he'd had that night haunted him now that the blanks had been filled in. 'I'm just a kid...what was I thinking? What am I gonna do?' He was a child up against his older sister, a sister who had no reservations about physically and emotionally hurting her siblings. 'There's more to it than that, though, isn't there? She only went after Lori, Luan and Lynn; no one younger than me got hurt. But Lucy said that Leni said that she would...ugh!' Even knowing more now than ever before, he still knew too little. 'I came here to talk to her, and that's just what I'll have to do, even if there's nothing I can do to stop her.' With that somber determination in mind, he decided now perhaps would be the most opportune time to wake her up.
"Lincoln."
"AAAAH!" The boy tried to jump and shook in his sister's grip, which only tightened in response to his escape attempts. 'Oh god, oh god, not like this, not like this!'
Leni settled her chin atop his head and pressed her knees forward into the back of his own, curling up even further and trapping him firmly in her grasp. Eyes still shut, she instead listened and felt as he began to settle down. A cold weight settled in her stomach at the thought that he was afraid of her now; that he had every right to be afraid of her. 'Lincoln...I should have just, like, sent you back last night...' Instead, she'd welcomed him at the worst possible time, the emotions and pains of her recent altercations still raw and ready to send her into another fit. He'd seen right through her, just like before, just like everyone did at one point or another. The look on his face as she'd forced him down...
'He played me for a fool.'
'He deserved it.'
'I shouldn't have sto-'
She breathed as deeply as she could and released the air through her nose, causing his hair to gently sway. "Lincoln," she whispered, unsure of how to begin. He knew now, and she knew it would only be a matter of time before that knowledge turned him on her. 'He promised, though. No matter what.' He remained silent, but she could feel him twitching in her embrace, eager to get away from her. 'He wants to leave. They all do, they all DID.' An ember flickered in her heart, threatening to spark into the anger that gave her the clarity she so desperately needed at the moment. 'If they didn't try to, like, abandon me, I wouldn't have to keep them here.' That was alright, though, because the only ones she needed were her brother and Lily. "Lincoln, please."
Her voice, thick with intent and louder only than the rain outside, brought him down to a more manageable stress level. "Good morning, Leni," he limply offered, the majority of his efforts directed toward masking his anxiety. He was at her mercy now, and he wanted to believe that he was safe, HAD to believe in order to make this right. "Did you sleep alright?"
It was a weak opener, but Leni was thankful nonetheless that he was even trying. "Yeah, thanks to you," she murmured, a small smile ghosting across her face before settling back into a thin line. "How about you?"
"Me too," her brother assured. Playing it cool would help to set the mood and keep one or both of them from doing or saying anything they'd both regret. "Are you feeling a bit better than last night?" Her body tensed from head to toe, and he would have slapped himself if he'd been able. "W-what I mean is, you seemed, uh, a little upset before. And, I know that's my fault, but I-"
"Who told you?" Her tone, sharper now if not higher in volume, cut through his awkward stammering. It was the only way he could have come at her like that last night, each question designed to get into her head. The pilot light of hatred she'd felt before bloomed at the thought that Lori or Luan had defied her, or that that little troublemaker Lucy had wormed out of the woodwork to try to ruin her. She drew him even closer to herself, consumed as she was by the desire to punish them for trying to take him away from her.
Lincoln strained against the added pressure, sweat beading on his brow both from concern regarding his position and fear of incriminating one of his sisters. 'Oh man, why did I say anything?! I can't just NOT say something now, that'll get her even angrier!' This was what he had come here to do, though; no backing out. His throat, dry from a case of nerves and his prior rest, worked against him as he uttered, "Leni, it—it's not like that, I just meant-"
Leni grit her teeth and began to flex her arms inward to show him she meant business. "Don't lie to me, Lincoln, please don't," she implored, finally opening her eyes to look past her brother and into the room. "I'm not mad at you," she assured as she loosened her hold once more, "but I need to know, like, what version of the story you heard." Both of those statements were true, though she had to assure herself of the former as much as him. 'He's just trying to help, it's not his fault that everyone in this house has to ruin everything for me. They're the ones using him.' Deciding to risk using his fear to her advantage, she threatened, "if I've got to find out myself-"
"Luna," her brother surrendered, shame weighing heavily on his heart and mind. 'Luna at least is on her good side, but Lucy...she can't get involved with this.' Swallowing his pride and doubts, he explained, "she felt bad about the fight we had at dinner and about me having to switch rooms, so she told me a little bit about why." It was just vague enough that it could refer to yesterday's events, rather than the story of her life. 'Come on, just take it!'
"A little bit about why that fight happened yesterday, or a little bit about why it had to?" No such luck. Her fears confirmed, the teen grimaced as she fumbled for a way to rationalize the punishments she'd doled out to her little brother. "Lincoln," she quietly began, "there's, like, a lot you don't know. Even past whatever Luna told you." She inwardly seethed at her younger sister's stupidity, but then, that seemed to be her theme now. 'Not even one day in and she's making this harder than it has to be.' Setting that frustration to one side, she finally released the young boy to sit up and draw her knees to her chest, much like she had the previous night. "Will you listen to my side of the story?"
Propping himself up to join her, he positioned himself to sit at her side, the same position he'd taken when this ordeal was just beginning. "Of course I will." He'd helped to make this bed, and now he'd lie in it...well, sit in it, figuratively and literally. He looked on as the tension slowly eased out of his sister's posture, a sullen expression replacing the tightness in her face. 'She's so on edge, even around me...is this another part of how she was before?'
The troubled blonde stared ahead toward the window, the rain outside giving her something to focus on other than the tale she was about to tell. Without knowing what exactly Luna had told him, she'd have to tell her brother as much as she could without jeopardizing their still-fragile bond. 'No lies, not for him. Not anymore.' Resting her eyes again, she reached out with her right hand to gently grasp Lincoln's, sighing in relief as his fingers curled around her own. 'Well, here goes everything...'
Cracking her eyes open, she began, "well, it all started about six years ago. You were even younger than the twins are now, and there were only seven of us besides Mom and Dad. Me and Lori were just getting used to middle school, and Luna, Luan and Lynn were all just starting or finishing elementary. We helped take care of you guys since Dad was working two jobs then and Mom was pregnant with Lana and Lola. Lori was always a natural, you all hardly ever gave her any trouble, but..." She turned to take in the sight of her brother, a boy slowly growing into a man in his on right, just as she'd remarked on that night. "You and Luna were always good for me, but your sisters...they didn't care about anything I had to do or say. I tried to look out for them, and they just..."
Lincoln watched with concern as she brought her free hand up to rub at her forehead, running it through her hair before letting it fall limp again. "I was, like, nothing to them. I was nothing to everyone, here at home, at school. Just Lori's dumb pretty sister or second place to Mom and Dad." Leni's grip on his hand tightened, but not painfully so, and she sucked in and released a heavy breath recalling how inadequate she'd felt; how inadequate she was made to feel. "No matter what I did, or how hard I tried, it was never good enough for anyone. I was never good enough. I got so sad, and then I got mad...I tried to talk to Lori about it, but she just blew me off, said I just needed to grow up and start acting like a big girl."
The boy had to suppress a groan at their oldest sister's tough 'love'. Lori had always been exceedingly kind with them until they were old enough to walk and talk, at which point she expected them to carry themselves as if they were as old as her. 'Maybe it's just because she had to help out with all of us, but still, if someone's talking about the kind of stuff Leni was, IS talking about...' The sister beside him seemed ready to continue though, so he simply squeezed her hand to express his support.
Glancing over and offering him a tired smile, Leni's eyes fell as she arrived to the consequential part of her story. "Since I couldn't count on Lori, I ended up getting close with Luna, kind of like you and I have these past few days. It felt like you two were the only ones who cared about me, and, like, that was enough for a while. Luan and Lynn got older, though, and they started with their jokes and sports. If you think things get crazy around here now, ugh...imagine if they were even less mature than they are now." Lincoln couldn't help but crack a grin at that, before it soured again remembering just what had happened to them in the past two days. "Luan, always with her stupid spider toy and her pranks. Lynn breaking everything in the house and every bone in her body."
Even as her eyes narrowed into a glare, her mouth seemed to want to smile as she lamented, "I wanted to like that stuff with them, to try and join in with Luan's comedy or look out for Lynn with her sports and junk. After they each got their own thing going, though, they wanted even less to do with me. They completely blew me off, and Luan started going after me when she figured out how easy it was to scare me. Mom and Dad didn't care, they were too busy working or having more kids." Her eyes shot open slightly at that last bit, and she quickly amended, "not that more kids was a bad thing!" Seeing the confusion and the specter of hurt in Lincoln's eyes, Leni quietly continued, "you have to have noticed it. They can barely pay any of us any attention, I mean, Mom even forgot there were, like, eleven of us! You heard her!"
Lincoln bit his lip at the memory, both of their perceived abandonment and the great struggle he'd had to put up for even five minutes of their time. "They still love us, though, they always make time for us eventually..."
Leni averted her gaze, mouth forming into a thin line as she ruminated on that sentiment. "Yeah, well, 'eventually' never came for me. They wouldn't make Luan and Lynn behave, so," she licked her chapped lips and winced as her tongue ran over a small cut from her fight with Lori, "so...I did." She chanced another look in her brother's direction, quickly turning away again at the worry on his face, the judgement, judging her- 'no, he isn't like that, he isn't like them.' Shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts, the teen pressed on, "I just wanted them to behave, like Lori got them to, like she told ME to. Whenever I talked to them, though, they, like, completely blew me off. It got worse at school, too, I was so angry and out of it that no one wanted anything to do with me. Other than you and Luna, I was alone, and it just went downhill."
Her hands fisted in her nightgown as she recalled the humiliation she'd been subjected to. "I got into a couple fights at school with girls who messed with me because I was turning into a loner, and fights with Luan and Lynn at home when they got totally out of control. Lori always took their side, though. I guess Mom and Dad cared enough about it to send ME to a therapist to see what was wrong with me." Bitterness consumed her as she bit, "they never cared before, when I was trying to help, but God forbid I stand up for myself or try to get them not to act like animals..." She wiped at the moisture building in her eyes as she explained, "after that I stopped fighting for a while, instead I tried to, like, teach them a lesson about how they were acting. I got rid of some of Lynn's sports equipment, hid Luan's props. Luna didn't like that I was messing with them, though, and she told on me, which got me into even more trouble."
Lincoln filed that bit of information away for later. 'So there actually was stuff Luna didn't tell me. If it was just tattling, though, I wouldn't think it'd be that big a deal.' Still, both of their stories lined up so far, so it stood to reason that Luna had likely omitted most of her role to get him on her side in helping Leni.
"Finally," Leni's breath hitched, "finally they started talking about medicine, and I just, like, wanted to be done with it." Her face became a passive mask even as the tears flowed from her eyes in complete silence. "They gave me one more chance to 'turn things around' at Carol Pingry's party. I'd gotten into a fight with her at some point, I can't even remember what over. Lori was going, and they decided I would go so I could apologize to her. Luna wanted to go too, and she asked me if I could convince Lori. I had to beg her to let Luna come, and finally she said yes."
"We got there, and Carol, Lori and her stupid friends watched and ate it all up as I apologized. Meanwhile, some of the others were picking on Luna, and Lori...Lori said that it was what Luna should have expected for coming to a big kids party." Her eyes flew open and she unconsciously crushed Lincoln's hand in her own, unable to hear his cry of pain through her own memories as she railed, "what kind of big sister would blame her little sister for some stupid shit that HER friend's friends pulled?! That was when I realized that she was completely fucked, that's when-"
"Leni," Lincoln yelped, "let go, please!" He tried to yank his hand away, and the motions brought Leni back to reality. She quickly released him, and he cradled his aching hand in the other as he tried to rub the pain away. "Leni, it's alright, it-" he turned to face her as he spoke, only to find her scooting away from him, hands cupped to her mouth and fear in her eyes.
The blonde began to reach toward him, only to jerk her hand away again when he turned fully toward her. "L-Lincoln, I—I didn't mean to, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Once again she'd set herself up for failure, and now he was going to walk away from her, walk into their arms and turn on her and put her back because it would be fitting for the one who saved her to put her back-
Getting his wits about him once more, Lincoln made a show of flexing his fingers to show that his hand was alright as he began to crawl toward her. "Leni, it's alright, I'm alright! It's okay, just calm down-"
["Leni Loud, if you don't calm down this INSTANT-"]
"Stay AWAY from me!" Leni swung in a wide arc in front of her, sending him reeling back and backing away in the opposite direction. Realizing what she'd just done, she threw herself after him, "nonono, wait, don't go! Lincoln, please, don't...don't leave..." Tremors wracked her body as her moods overwhelmed her, her own voice warring against his and those of their sisters in her ears as she watched him lean away from her.
Lincoln would be a liar if he said he wasn't terrified at the emotional switchback he'd just witnessed. 'This is what she's been dealing with this whole time? This is what they were all afraid of...I mean, I didn't know, no one told us...' That fear mixed with shame at what had happened to his sisters because of him. 'I should have found out more, I could have helped her, we all could have...' Should- and could-haves wouldn't fix things now, though. Wrestling down his guilt and ignoring his instincts to run, he focused on making sure no more damage could be done. "Leni, everything is alright, it's okay," the boy whispered, cautiously approaching her again. She reminded him of Lana's pet snake, her whole body tensing and coiling in anticipation of attacking or being attacked.
'She isn't just angry or sad, she's afraid,' he concluded as he came close enough to reach out and touch her. 'Afraid that they're gonna take her away again.' With a head topped with white hair due to stress, he could understand how living in fear like that would cause someone to make some seriously bad decisions. As his sister watched him with trepidation, he reached out with the hand she'd injured to gingerly grasp the one she'd injured it with. She initially tugged away, but not enough to break the connection, and he went on to thread his smaller fingers between her own, resting his palm against hers. "You don't have to be afraid of me, Leni," he spoke in a firm but warm tone, "I'm not gonna hurt you, and I'm not gonna leave either."
Leni could no longer control her emotions even if she'd wanted to, and she gathered him up with her other arm, resting her chin on his shoulder and quietly crying. "H-how do you do it, Lincoln?" The question caught him off guard, and he opted to return the embrace and use his free hand to rub up and down her back as she rambled, "how do you just let everything go? Everything that they do to you, that I do to you, how...how do you not hate us?"
The implicit meaning in her question wasn't lost on Lincoln. 'She included herself in that question, which means...does she hate herself...?' As awful as it made him feel, that meant there was still hope. 'She knows what she did was wrong, she knows she's supposed to feel sorry for it. If she really hated them she wouldn't feel any of that, right? We can still do this, we can actually do it!' Awkwardly holding her in his arms, he allowed her a few moments to get herself back in order before softly answering, "I could never hate you, or any of the others. We all do stuff we wish we could take back, even me, but we all forgive each other because we love each other. No matter what happens, I know you guys will always be there for me, and I'll always be here for you."
There was nothing she could say in the face of her brother's love, so she simply held onto him as if her life depended on it. They were the words she wished she'd heard for so many years, from so many people. For the first time in her life, they drove her hatred back and began to make her reconsider the things she had done four years ago—the things she had done over the past four days. "You wouldn't f-forgive me if you really understood what I did, what I had to do...I had to do it, I really did," she choked out, her better judgement skewed by her roiling thoughts and feelings.
Unsure whether his reassurance would be accepted for what it was, Lincoln simply hugged her closer, letting her lose herself in the embrace again. "Leni," he asked after a short while, "I know it's hard right now, but...if you're alright with it, I want to hear the rest of your story." Her nails tugged slightly at his shirt at the mention of it, but that was the extent of her physical reaction toward him.
The great majority of Leni's focus and energy went into remaining as still as humanly possible, lest she say, do or even think anything that would go even further toward ruining Lincoln's opinion of her. 'This is all wrong, he shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have let him come here.' Taking several calming breaths, she reluctantly pulled away from him, her face a portrait of remorse. "I know you won't leave, Linc, but I...now isn't, like, the best time..."
Panic chased through Lincoln's body as he saw the situation getting away from him. "No, this is a great time! This is the best time to talk-"
"No, Lincoln," she rejected in a warning but maternal tone, the same kind he'd heard Lori and their mother use. "Even if you say you're alright with what just happened, I'm not. I just need some time to...get it together, alright?" He still didn't look satisfied, and she had to admire his determination as she offered, "as soon as I do though, you'll be, like, the first person I go to. Is that okay?"
Her brother deflated as the opportunity to dig deeper into this issue slipped through his fingers. 'I barely figured out anymore than I did with Luna or Lucy, except how she really feels about the others...' Lori, Luan and Lynn weren't always the most sensitive of his siblings, especially when they were younger, but he'd never considered their horseplay and tough talk worthy of retribution. It seemed that his sister as in the perfectly wrong mood to continue, though, and so he relented, "I'll hold you to it, alright?"
She answered him with a sad smile that, together with her tired eyes, made her seem much older than she really was. "Alright." A thick tension began to fill the air, a tension she couldn't stand existing between the two of them. "I-I'm going to, like, get some breakfast going," she decided as they both noticed the room was lit well enough for the sun to be up.
As she took flight from the bed, Lincoln made to join her, similarly bothered by the uncomfortable divide that had formed. "I'll help, let me just-"
"I want you to wait here, Lincoln," she cut in, "in case Lily wakes up." It was a true enough request, and that way she didn't have to explain that she didn't want anyone else who might be up seeing him leaving that particular room.
Earlier he would have argued, but the boy felt exhausted now despite the sleep he'd just enjoyed, and he slumped back onto the bed. "Alright..."
Leni turned the doorknob, pausing just long enough to compromise, "I'll come get you in a few minutes." A small thrill, this time of humour rather than hatred, filled her at the look on his face as she suggested, "I need someone to, like, wake everyone up, after all."
"Great, we know how well that went last time." He rolled his eyes in case the sarcasm in his voice wasn't enough, but he was smiling by the end of it. A flicker of that good-natured banter restored, he rolled over and looked toward the crib and his sleeping youngest sister as he heard the door click shut behind him.
With a defeated sigh he asked, "what am I gonna do now, Lily? It looks like I messed things up again..."
