February 2nd, 1972
Lucius and I are walking to lunch in the Great Hall, and I am telling him a story from Potions class earlier today.
"So me and Lily were saying…"
"Lily and I, Severus. Wait— Lily who?" he stops, and turns to me, catching me by my arm.
"Uh, nobody! Me, her, Evan, and another girl are table partners in potions!" I stutter.
"Why are you and Evan not table partners with Joseph, Clarence, John, or girls from Slytherin?" he growls, and throws me by my arm into the empty classroom to our left. As I stumble, I catch sight of Potter, Black, and Pettigrew behind us.
"We just sat down like that the first day and never moved! It's not a big deal, I promise! She just sits at our table!" I tremble, holding the arm he grabbed. I can feel it bruising.
"And this isn't the mudblood you hang around with? The one from the station at Christmas who said you were best friends?" he growls, advancing on me and grabbing my arm again.
"No! She's not! I don't hang out with people like that!" I whimper, looking anywhere but at him.
"Don't lie to me, Severus! You need to get your head on straight! You make yourself look dishonorable by hanging around her, and you make your friends look like blood traitors. Quit making stupid decisions, stop being an idiot, and think about your reputation. Think about MY reputation! You drive me crazy sometimes, you know that? I don't need to waste my time with you if you're going to hang around with riff-raff like that," he declares, and shakes me lightly.
"No, please don't be mad! I'm sorry! I'll try harder! I'll be better! I promise!"
"I hope so. I don't want to see you hanging around that girl again, do you understand me?"
As I nod my head out of fear, I wonder what would happen if I said no. I don't want to make an enemy out of Lucius, and he's nice to me when I'm good— much nicer than my own parents, so, feeling terrible, I say, "Yes, sir."
"Good, now get to class," Lucius growls, lets go of my arm, stalks out of the room, and slams the door behind him.
Sniffling, I straighten my robes, take my hair tie out, and rub my arm.
"I don't know, Snivellus, but my friends don't throw me into empty rooms and yell at me, though you probably deserved it," sneers Sirius Black, opening the door and sidling into the classroom closely followed by James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Black!" I sneer, getting out my wand, "Your friends are… are…"
"We're what, Snivelly?" laughs Potter, and I see his wand move before I hear him speak.
"Expelliarmus!" I cry, and his wand flies out of his hand. Quickly, I turn my wand on Black, remembering what my dad said about proving they shouldn't mess with me. I'm not too worried about Pettigrew, but I keep an eye on him as well, "You came in here for a fight, or what?! Fight me if you think you're so brave!"
As Black raises his wand, we hear the voice of Professor McGonagall, "What exactly do you boys think you are doing?!" she shouts, shoving Pettigrew out of the way and getting in front of Black, "Mr. Snape! How dare you attack your classmates?!"
Shocked, I lower my wand, feeling tears starting to well up in my eyes again at the injustice, "It wasn't my fault! I was in here talking to Lucius, and they came in and and and and—" I try my hardest to keep the whine out of my voice as I see Potter and Black exchange looks of glee.
"So you thought you would provoke them to fight you? Do you think this school exists as an outlet for you to vent your anger on classmates? You need to learn to control yourself, or I will be writing to your parents to suggest they take you to St. Mungo's for an evaluation!"
Potter, Black, and Pettigrew exchange grins behind McGonagall's back as I implore, "No! Please don't write to them! I promise it was just this one time! I'll be more careful next time!"
"Detention, all four of you. I will be speaking to Professor Slughorn about this, Mr. Snape," she snaps.
"All of us?" squeaks Pettigrew, "I didn't do anything!"
"Shut up, Peter," murmurs Potter, "Should we really get detention, Professor? You heard Sniv- Snape, he was attacking us! We just came in 'cause we heard him talking to Malfoy, and we wanted to see if he was done with his potions project yet. We thought maybe he could help us!"
"That ain't even true, Professor! They came in and started makin' fun of me 'cause— 'cause Lucius was mad at me! Please, Professor, please believe me!" I beg, forgetting to fix my voice like Lucius has taught me. It's hard to remember when I'm stressed and nervous.
"All four of you," she restates, voice hard, and gaze steely, "will have detention with me tonight at five o'clock. Now, get on to the Great Hall, all of you!"
Potter, Black, and Pettigrew leave the classroom grumbling.
"It wasn't my fault, Professor, I swear! I wasn't trying to fight with them!" I say as I pass McGonagall.
"Detention at five, Mr. Snape," she responds, and herds me out of the classroom.
When I get to the Great Hall, I immediately sit down next to Lucius and tell him what happened. I take a deep breath as I feel tears filling up my eyes. He gives me a hug, and tells me that he and Narcissa will accompany me to my detention tonight, and pick me up when I am done.
"Are you still mad at me?" I ask timidly.
"No, of course not! I just want you to understand that your actions have consequences, and that you need to make the right choices if you want to keep my friendship. That's all," he says, smoothing my hair back into a low ponytail and securing it with one of his hair-ties. I hurriedly wipe my eyes, and throw him a small smile.
"I'm gonna go sit with my friends, okay?"
"Go on, then! I will see you in the common room before walking you to McGonagall's office!" he laughs, and lightly pushes me towards Evan, Clarence, John, and Joseph.
I see Lily waving at me from the corner of my eye, but checking behind me and seeing Lucius still watching me, I pretend like I haven't seen, and don't wave back.
The next day, when Lily and I are supposed to be studying together in the library, I notice Oliver and Rodolphus sitting nearby, so sidle up next to her and act as if I'm looking for a book, then whisper, "I can't study with you right now. Lucius' friends are there. Wait till they leave, then I'll come over."
Lily sighs, and irritably flips a page in her book.
As I walk back over to my own table, Rodolphus calls to me quietly, and I nervously walk over to him.
"Hey, kid. Why don't you sit with us today? Come and join the big boys!" he says.
"Oh, I-I-I-I—" I stutter, not sure how to respond.
Oliver grabs my arm and sits me down in the chair next to him, and sneers, "What? Are you scared?"
I shake my head, and put my book on the table.
"You wouldn't happen to have been talking to that girl just now, would you?" Rodolphus says quietly, moving around to sit on my other side.
"No!" I squeak.
"That's good. I believe Lucius said he doesn't want you spending time with her anymore, am I right?"
I nod, looking down at my knees.
"I said, am I right?"
"Yes," I whisper.
Oliver laughs quietly, and says, "No sir for Rodolphus?"
"I suppose I don't give him enough treats to be called sir. But it doesn't matter to me— I'm not the one who wanted him, anyways," Rodolphus smiles and taps the tip of my nose as if I'm a puppy that's just done something awfully cute.
Oliver chuckles, "Aww, look at those big, sad eyes! Such a cute little mutt! I bet you'd do anything Lucius told you to do, huh?"
"Of course he would. He knows what's good for him. Regardless, we're studying here tonight, and you're studying with us. It's so lame to be studying alone, don't you think?" Rodolphus says, opening his textbook. It's a book about the dark arts from the Restricted Section.
I nod, looking at his book, and mumble, "Mm hmm."
"Are you interested?" Oliver asks.
"No!" I squeak, "I just—"
"If you're good, and Lucius agrees, maybe I'll let you look at it later," Rodolphus says.
Not knowing what to say, I just look back at my book. I wish I were sitting with Lily. We'll have to find a new spot to study together, away from Lucius, his friends, and my friends. I didn't think it'd be this hard to stay friends when we got to school! I thought for sure we'd be in the same house and get to hang out all the time! At least we'll get to hang out over the summer, and next year Lucius and his friends won't be here, so it might be easier to hang out then, too. It's a bit scary to think that he won't be here next year, though. What if he forgets about me? Sometimes he scares me, but mostly he's super nice to me! I love that he hugs me, and tells me he's proud of me, and that I'm smart. I love that he pays attention to me, and gives me nice things, and helps me with my homework. I love hanging out by the fire listening to him and his friends talking in the evenings, and polishing his broom, and I love that when I fall asleep by the fire, he carries me to bed. I've never had that before. Sure, Lily's parents are nice and welcoming, but Lucius is so cool, and so powerful! Like my mum said, I'm so lucky he likes me and pays attention to me! Sighing, I refocus myself, and start taking notes on the chapter of my charms textbook my class was assigned to read.
After a couple of hours, Oliver stretches, and says, "Alright, I'm ready to head out."
"Me too!" Rodolphus yawns, "Come on, kid!"
"I still have some work to do," I mutter, hoping they'll leave so I can go hang out with Lily.
"Well, luckily for you, there's a nice bit of rug by the fire in the common room with your name on it. You can finish your homework there, then, if Lucius is alright with it, you can polish my broom," Oliver says, patting my head.
"Nah, it's my turn. He did yours last week!" Rodolphus exclaims quietly, closing my book, shoving it into my backpack, and grabbing my shoulder to steer me out of the library. As I'm led away, I glance quickly at Lily, trying to convey with just a look how sorry I am that I'm not with her right now. She looks sadly back at me, then lowers her gaze to her book.
Before Potions class the next day, Lily and I have a chance to talk to each other. Nervously, I explain that Lucius got mad that Evan and I were sitting with Gryffindors instead of with other Slytherins, and that he said we can't sit together in Potions anymore.
"Why don't you just tell him to mind his own business, and that you'll sit with whoever you want?" she sighs exasperatedly.
"'Cause he'll be mad at me! And he's Head Boy! I don't wanna get in trouble!" I exclaim, then, more quietly, I say, "Next year, though, he'll be gone, and we can sit together again."
"I guess," she shrugs, "My parents always say not to let people push you around."
"That's great. This isn't that kind of situation, though!"
"Then what kind of situation is it?" she asks, eyebrows raised.
I look at the floor. I don't know how to tell her that I'm terrified of what could happen if I disobey Lucius. He's powerful, has powerful contacts and friends, is from one of the oldest, most powerful families in Great Britain, and in general, he's really good to me. I don't want to lose that, and I definitely don't want to get on his bad side. I shrug, and mutter, "It's complicated."
"Fine. Whatever. Instead of studying in the library, do you wanna start studying somewhere else? He probably won't look behind that tapestry of the unicorn on the fourth floor!"
"That's a good idea!" I smile.
As Professor Slughorn walks into the room, Evan and I sit next to two other Slytherin girls who normally sit with a girl from Ravenclaw. Clarence, Joseph, and John have been sitting with a Slytherin girl named Morgan since the beginning of the year. Potions class is weird without Lily, but it's okay, I guess. Everything is fine.
