July 10th, 1972

This past weekend, raises were announced at the car factory, and my dad got a pretty decent one! He says this one's more than just an inflation adjustment, whatever that means. To celebrate their raises, he and his friend Mr. Keith were going to have a bonfire, but Mr. Keith's son Billy ended up breaking his arm falling out of a tree, so my dad said I could invite a friend from town. I asked him if I could invite Lily, and he said yes! He doesn't know she goes to Hogwarts, too, and I figure he doesn't need to know. He's been sober since I got home from school, and since he got his raise, he's been a lot nicer than usual! He says he's glad I've got a girlfriend. I tried to tell him she's just a friend, but he wouldn't listen. He says no boys are just friends with girls, and that I should be proud I've got a girl. He said he didn't think I would, since I'm so short and skinny and weak. He also said I need to make sure I don't do any of "that weird shit" I inherited from my mum around Lily. I lied and told him that at school they teach us how to hide it real good and not use it, and he seemed happy.

When I get to Lily's house to pick her up, I give her mum the flowers I picked for her, and Lily grabs the graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate to make s'mores. On our way back, we pick some flowers for my mum, and I remind her not to talk about Hogwarts or magic at all, and that my dad wouldn't listen to me when I told him she's not my girlfriend, but that I promise I've told him. Once we get to my house, Lily sets her stuff down, and we give my mum her flowers. She says they're nice, and puts them in a cup with some water.
"Did you tell her she had to bring somethin'?" my dad asks, angrily grabbing my arm as Lily sits on the front steps.
"No, sir! She-she-she-she just had that stuff when I picked her up!" I stutter.
"And it was very nice of her to bring it, too," my mum says, giving Lily a rare smile.
My dad humphs, lets me go, lights a match and throws it into the pile of newspaper and wood, and asks Lily, "So how do you two know each other again?"
"We met on the playground when I moved here from London! My dad teaches at the school here!"
"That's nice. Be glad your daddy don't work in that factory. Place is hell," my dad says gruffly, spitting his chewing tobacco out, "Rus, go get me a beer, nah, what am I sayin'— go get me a coke."
I scramble up, and while I'm inside, I also grab my pack of cards. When I get back to the fire pit, I hand my dad his coke, sit back down next to Lily, and shuffle the cards. I remember my dad always used to like his tobacco, but he hasn't been able to afford it in a long time. I guess he got some with his raise. Or maybe he could afford it because he's not buying alcohol anymore. Last pay period, he needed new work boots, so he took me to the donation center with him so I could trade in my old jeans that were too small from last year. He said that next month before I go back to school, if we can afford it, he'll get me a new pair of boots, since mine are getting too small and have holes in them.
"Severus, have you offered Lily something to drink?" my mum says from the kitchen where she's preparing box-mix lemonade.
"Not, yet! I was gonna wait till the lemonade was ready. Lily, you want water, or lemonade?" I ask as I deal out our cards.
"I don't care!" Lily smiles, "Either is good with me!"
"I'm gonna have some lemonade."
"Then I'll have some, too! How do you play this game again?"
I start to explain the rules of 7-Card Stud, but my mum interjects, exclaiming, "Quit teaching her that! Ladies do not play poker! Why don't you bring your father some more wood or something? Lily can help me in here!"
My dad chuckles, and says, "There ain't no harm in a card game, Eileen! What are you bettin' on?"
"Marshmallows!" Lily smiles, holding up her plate of small and big marshmallows, "Then whoever has the most at the end has to try to fit them all in their mouth at once!"
"Sounds fun!" my dad laughs, and takes a swig of his coke, "Who's idea was that?"
"Mine," I admit, "but Lily can open her mouth real wide, so she'll probably be able to do it if she wins!"
Shaking her head, but still smiling slightly, my mum comes out with a pitcher of lemonade and some old cups of random sizes. She pours the lemonade out, hands a cup to each of us, and sits down on the chair she brought out earlier, saying, "I'm glad I was able to take off work today. It's been nice to have a day off. Do you want me to go get the hotdogs and buns for you?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
"What do you think? Each of us can have one and you can have two?" my mum asks, standing back up, "Then we can save the rest for tomorrow."
"That's fine by me," my dad grunts, prodding the fire again.
My mum gets up, tells me to help my dad with the fire, and takes Lily inside with her to bring out the hotdogs, buns, and little ketchup packets we got from McDonald's last month. My dad has me put some more wood on the fire while they're inside. When they get back, we roast our hotdogs, and Lily and I eat while we play our game.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you earlier, I like your hair! I've never seen it this short before!" Lily says, putting down three small marshmallows.
"Thanks! My mum cut it yesterday. I'm still gettin' used to it bein' short," I say, frowning slightly. My dad made my mum cut my hair extra short yesterday, and I hate it. I already know that when it grows out it's going to look stupid. I only have the rest of this month and August for it to grow, and I already know my mum's not going to have time to cut it again before I go back to school. I put down a big marshmallow. I don't have a great hand, but I want her to think I do so she folds.
"Get used to it faster," my dad growls, "it ain't right for boys to look like little girls. You're still too short and skinny, but at least you ain't got long hair now, too. Even your girlfriend likes it short!"
I can feel my cheeks go red, and Lily coughs to avoid laughing. I don't know why everybody seems to think we have to be together just because we're friends. I deal the last cards, and Lily puts down a big marshmallow and a little marshmallow. I'm feeling a bit concerned— is she doing the same thing I'm doing, or does she actually have a good hand?
"Lemme see your cards, boy," my dad says. He's sitting where he can see Lily's cards.
I get up and bring them over to show him.
"Hmm," he grins, "alright, go finish your game."
I'm not sure if he was trying to make me feel better or worse about my hand, so after I sit down, I fold. I don't want to keep betting on a bad hand if she has a good one. We show each other our cards, it turns out I was right, and she did have a better hand than me. After a few more games, I end up with the most marshmallows, but I give Lily some of mine anyways. When we're done seeing how many marshmallows we can fit in our mouths, we make s'mores and practice doing cartwheels and round-offs around the yard while my dad strums his guitar and sings,
"Will ye go, lassie, go?
And we'll all go together
To pluck wild mountain thyme
All around the bloomin' heather
Will ye go, lassie go?"
Lily's parents have her take gymnastics over the summers, so she's really good. She tries to teach me how to do a back handspring, but I'm too scared.

At about nine o'clock, my mum looks at her watch, and tells us it'll be time to put the fire out soon. She and my dad both have work tomorrow.
Lily and I ask if she can stay the night. Her parents already said she could if my parents agreed.
"I don't mind," my mum says, taking the pitcher of lemonade inside, "What do you think, Toby?"
"I reckon it's fine… Rus, let her sleep on your mattress and you can sleep downstairs on the couch. I'm gonna keep our door open, so you'd best keep your ass downstairs, you hear?"
"Yes, sir," I mumble, looking at the ground. I can't even imagine doing anything inappropriate with Lily! That would be so gross! But I don't want to say anything to my dad, or he'll think I'm talking back, and I don't want to get in trouble.
"Lily?" my mum calls from the kitchen.
"Ma'am?" Lily responds.
"Come bring the food in, please. Severus? Help your father put out the fire."

Once we're done with our chores, we go inside, I quickly change the sheets on my mattress, and we hang out talking quietly in the living room while my dad strums his guitar, and my mum darns a few pairs of my dad's socks. After a while, my mum gives Lily one of my dad's old t-shirts to wear as a sleep shirt, and we get changed and say goodnight. As I lay on the couch, I wonder how Lily is doing. Her house is so nice, I wonder if it's hard for her to fall asleep here. I hope my dad stays sober this time. It's been so nice— like it was before he started drinking. Sure, I still get whooped and yelled at sometimes, but it's not nearly as bad as it was.

In the morning, I wake up to my dad clomping down the stairs. It's still dark outside, so I roll over to face the couch, and try to go back to sleep as my dad noisily makes himself a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast.
"Rus?" he asks, coming over to the couch.
My first instinct is to curl up in a ball and cover my head with my arms.
He's quiet for a second, then says, "I ain't gonna hurt you, sit up."
I sit up, cross-legged, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Your mum's still asleep. I gotta go to work, but I want you to stay down here 'til your mum wakes up, you hear me?"
"Mm hmm, yes, sir," I say groggily.
"Good boy," he grunts, and pats me on the shoulder, "You can go on back to sleep now."
I lay back down as he leaves the house and locks the door. I look over at the clock— it's four o'clock in the morning. He must be putting in overtime today. Now that he's gone, I can't seem to go back to sleep, so I quietly get up, look out the window to make sure he's gone, and haul out my mum's old cauldron and potion ingredients. I might as well make some pain-relieving potions while I'm up. My headaches haven't been bad lately, but I know my mum was just complaining about one the other day.

At about six o'clock, I hear the stairs creak, and Lily comes into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.
"Good morning!" I whisper.
"Morning!" she yawns.
"My dad said he didn't want me going upstairs till my mum was awake, but he didn't say anything about you coming down here…"
"It's funny he really thinks we're together!" she giggles quietly.
"Yeah, he thinks that if a boy and a girl are just friends, then the boy has to be… you know," I say awkwardly.
"What?" she asks, coming over to look at the cauldron.
"That he likes boys, not girls," I whisper.
She studies me for a second, then asks, "Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Like boys."
For just a second, Evan's smiling face flashes in my mind, then I shake my head, and say, "No way! That would be so gross! Everybody says that it's bad and gross to be like that! Of course I don't like boys!"
"Then your dad's wrong," Lily shrugs, "Anyways, why do you talk different around your dad? The way you talk's changed since we got to school, but you talk like you used to around your dad."
"Yeah, 'cause he got mad at me for talking like 'them rich kids at school,'" I say, using my fingers to do air quotations, "so I just talk like I used to around him."
Lily opens the pantry to look for some food, grabs the jar of peanut butter and the sandwich bread, and says, "I liked the way you used to talk, but I understand why you've changed. I would be nervous to be different around your friends, too."
"None of my friends said anything about it. Just Lucius. He said he didn't want me sounding like a– like the way I used to sound. Though, on our first day at school, after we got to our dorm, Joseph was making fun of me, so I jinxed him, and none of my friends have ever said anything to me since," I say, looking down at my potion.
"Malfoy didn't want you sounding like a what, precisely?" Lily says, raising her eyebrows.
I shake my head, and murmur, "It doesn't matter."
"I'm not stupid, you know."
"I know you're not."
Lily purses her lips, and spreads a thin layer of peanut butter over two pieces of bread.
"You look like Petunia when you do that," I smile.
"No I don't!" Lily exclaims, "This piece is yours, by the way. I'll put it next to you so it doesn't get in your potion. What are you making, anyways?"
"Pain-relief potion. For headaches."
"Your head's still been hurting?"
"Not too bad, but my mum was saying she had a headache the other day, and I couldn't fall back asleep after my dad left for work, so I figured I'd make some. He's been sober since I got home from school!"
"That's awesome! I noticed he was drinking coke last night! I know you said he's a lot nicer when he's sober," Lily says, then, lowering her voice, she murmurs, "Does he still hit you with his belt?"
I nod, then say, "Usually if he whoops me it's 'cause of something I did, though. Like last week I got distracted putting away laundry and forgot to finish, and he got home and was really mad. He doesn't whoop me for no reason or hit me when he's sober usually."
"Well," Lily says, sitting down on the floor next to me, "that's good, I guess. At least does he let you keep your shirt on now that he's sober so that you don't get cut up?"
"Sometimes. But even when he doesn't, it's still not as bad as before. When he's drunk, he hits a lot harder. Anyways, do you wanna help me put this into vials? It's done."
Lily helps me put the potion into vials and clean up, and as we're putting away the cauldron and ingredients, my mum walks downstairs. She's already dressed in her uniform for the tavern. She has the front unbuttoned to show a lot of cleavage. She's carrying her curling iron and makeup.
"What have you two been up to?" she asks.
"We made more pain-relief potion! You said the other day your head was hurting, so I figured I'd make you some! Dad left early this morning for work, and I couldn't fall back asleep," I say, bringing the vials over to her.
"That was thoughtful, Severus!" she says, and smiles, "Lily, do you want me to curl your hair and do your makeup before I leave for work? I always wished I had a girl! Girls are so much more fun! You can do their hair and nails, and dress them in pretty clothes, but you can't do anything fun like that with boys!"
Lily says, "Sure!" and follows my mum into the bathroom.
"Do you want me to make you some peanut butter toast, mum?" I ask, following Lily.
"No, I'll eat at work. Why don't you go sweep the kitchen or something?" my mum says. She doesn't even look at me as she turns on the curling iron.
"Yes, ma'am," I sigh, and walk away to get the broom. I wish at least one of my parents liked me for who I am, but it's fine.