When I wake up at eight o'clock in the morning, I make my bed, take a shower, and comb my hair like Lucius said. For my outfit, I choose my black jeans, the shoes Lucius bought me for Christmas last year, the white button-down shirt I wore yesterday, and the turquoise sweater Evan lent me that I never gave back. It's still nice and big on me, and feels cozy. I can always change into something nicer later if Lucius doesn't like what I'm wearing now. I spend a couple of minutes doodling in my potions book and writing down some ideas for new spells and poisons, then, bored, I grab my book and head downstairs. Upon reaching the kitchen, I grab a handful of grapes and slouch into the living room looking for Lucius and Narcissa. I walk in to find them sitting on the couch looking through the binder they've put together of wedding plans. Narcissa is sitting with her legs draped over Lucius' lap. With one hand, she's playing with his hair, and with the other, she's pointing to something in the binder. I wonder if I'll ever get to sit with somebody I love like that. For a second, I contemplate leaving the room. Nobody wants me here anyways.
"Severus! It's good to see you! Come here and give me a hug!" Narcissa exclaims, looking up and seeing me. I smile tentatively, then walk over and give her a quick hug.
"Good morning!" I smile, "It's good to see you again, too! What are you working on?"
"We're reviewing our plans for the church, and making sure we're on the same page with the decorations," Lucius drawls, "What have you got there?"
Instinctively, I put my potions book behind my back.
Lucius smirks at me, and beckons for me to hand it over.
Reluctantly, I do so, "It's just my textbook," I mumble.
"Severus, this is ancient! You should have said something! We can get you a new textbook when we go to Diagon Alley today," he says, and tosses my textbook on the floor.
"No!" I exclaim, scrambling to pick it back up. Some of the pages have dislodged themselves from the spine and are threatening to fall out, "This one's special! It's got all my notes and everything in it! I can't get a new one!"
"If you insist. Give it here— I'll repair it for you." I hand my textbook back to Lucius and he repairs it with a flick of his wand. It still looks old, but at least nothing is falling out anymore. I can't wait until I can consistently do wordless magic.
"What are you up to today, Severus?" says Narcissa warmly.
"I think I'm going to feed the peacocks, and I have some things I want to try out in the lab! I want to see if I can make the Draught of Dreamless Sleep even stronger this time! All I think I need to do is add an extra sopophorous bean with the flobberworm mucus, and maybe a couple extra—"
"That's nice, Severus. Why don't you eat your breakfast and head down there? We'll call for you when we're done," says Lucius, cutting me off.
"Yes, Lucius," I mumble disappointedly, turning away.

Before going to the lab, I stop outside to feed my favorite peacocks and leave the rest of my grapes underneath a hedge. Lately, my right wrist and hand have been tingling and going numb when I do a lot of chopping and whisking. Madame Pomfrey told me that the carpal tunnel in my wrist is irritated and needs to rest. She did some relaxing and healing spells on it while I was at school and gave me a brace to wear when the pain gets bad, but there's not much I can do about it when I'm not at school. I suppose I could ask Lucius if I could go to St. Mungo's, but I don't want to bother him with my problems. Already irritated from how hard I worked on my Moonseed Poison yesterday, my wrist can't handle a whole lot today, so I just prep my ingredients and work on my reading for transfiguration instead. I was really excited to try a different way of making the Draught of Dreamless Sleep, but it's fine. Feeling chilly, I hug myself, bury my face in Evan's sweater, and let myself imagine for just a second that it's his arms holding me, and not my own. Then I remember that Dolohov is supposed to come over today, and I shiver. I open up my Latin dictionary and begin writing down words I could use to make a new spell. In the end, I settle on the words sectum and semper. I want a spell that will kill somebody painfully, but not too slowly or too quickly, and what better way to do that than to cause them to bleed out. I sit back in my chair and imagine myself standing over Yaxley and Dolohov while blood gushes from huge, deep wounds, and I smile. In my head, Yaxley cries out for help. I squat down and sneer, "I thought you said you wanted to spend time with me! Or is this not what you had in mind?"

I am snapped out of my thoughts when I hear Lucius calling for me. I hurriedly fold up the paper into my potions book.
"Severus? We're done for today. Come on upstairs. Narcissa wants to say goodbye before she leaves. She's going to try on wedding dresses with Bellatrix."
"Okay," I sigh, grabbing my book and climbing back up the stairs. At the door, Narcissa holds out her arms, and I give her a hug.
"Goodbye for now, Severus! I'll see you again soon, alright? Then you can tell me all about your potions!" she says, and ruffles my hair.
"Bye, Cissa!" I smile, and let her go. As he walks her out, Lucius whispers to me to go make myself presentable. I sigh, and walk dejectedly upstairs to my bedroom to get changed. I wish Lucius would at least let me keep Evan's sweater on, but it's fine.

When Dolohov arrives, he smiles coldly, grabs my arm, and pulls me down to sit on the couch with him.
Lucius hesitates for a second, then says quietly, "Be gentle with him, Antonin."
"You know me, Lucius! I wouldn't hurt a fly," Dolohov grins.
"Of course," Lucius smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He turns around, walks over to the piano, and starts playing quietly. It's the first movement of the Moonlight Sonata— the one I always ask him to play.
"Open your mouth," Dolohov purrs. I barely have time to register what he's said before he grabs the back of my head and shoves a cherry lollipop deep into my mouth. I gag, and Dolohov laughs quietly. The cherry taste is slightly off, as if it's something pretending to be cherry. It's strong, but not strong enough to mask the slightly medicinal, bitter taste hiding behind it, "Are you excited to see me?" His hand is still tightly gripping the back of my head.
I nod mechanically, and preemptively draw my knees up to my chest.
"Well?" he growls, tightening his grip on my hair.
I take the lollipop out of my mouth and say, "Yes, sir." All I want is to curl up and hide.
Dolohov's nails dig into my shoulder, and he hisses in my right ear, "Put that back in your fucking mouth."
Terrified, I obey quickly. Pacified, he glances over at Lucius. Satisfied that he is not being watched, Dolohov shoves my knees open and away from my chest, begins roughly unbuttoning my cardigan and shirt. When he gets down to my pants, he quickly glances at Lucius again, then undoes my belt. Instinctively, I go to grab his wrist as he shoves his hand under the front of my pants, but he lazily bats my fingers away. I go to take my lollipop out of my mouth, but then I remember what he said, and leave it alone.
"Good boy. You learn quickly," he grins, and I can't keep from whimpering as he gropes between my legs with one hand and untucks the front of my shirt with the other.
"Antonin?" Lucius drawls, fingers hovering above the piano keys. Dolohov takes his hand out of my pants.
"Yes?" Dolohov sneers as Lucius glances over.
"It's awfully quiet over there. Didn't you say you had some questions for my Severus, or did you just want to give him sweets and play with his clothes?"
"You know what, I got so excited to see little Severus I completely forgot!" Dolohov says sarcastically, "Lucius said you're Vice-President of Potions Club. You must be pretty smart, huh?"
I shake my head no, and pull my knees back up to my chest again, hugging my arms around them to protect myself.
Dolohov snickers, and strokes my hair, "What are your favorite potions to make? Hmm?"
I hug my knees tighter and say,"Poisons."
Dolohov chuckles nastily. Satisfied, Lucius begins to play again.
"What do you do with your poisons when you've finished them?" he says, and throws his arm around my shoulders.
I shrug. My brain is starting to feel a little foggy, as if it's sitting in a thick cloud.
"What kind of poisons do you make? Ones to make people sick? Ones to cause pain? What makes you tick, Severus?"
"I dunno," I murmur, swallowing some of the liquid from the lollipop. The fog around my brain seems to thicken.
"What kind of magic is your favorite? You said you weren't very good at charms yesterday, right? What are you good at besides potions?" Dolohov starts twirling my hair around his fingers.
"I like defense. And other things," my mouth feels thick and dry, and I quickly take the lollipop out and ask, "can I go get some water, please?"
"What do you think?" he says, smiling nastily at me.
I shake my head, no. Then, without thinking, I say, "I thought it was well."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't do well in charms, not I don't do good in charms. That's what Lucius said yesterday."
Dolohov chuckles, and says, "You don't do well in charms, so you're not good at charms."
"I don't get it," I say, and put the lollipop back in my mouth.
"Lucius? Little Severus needs to be taught a lesson in grammar," Dolohov calls to Lucius.
Fingers still moving across the keys of the piano, Lucius says, "The adverb well is describing the verb to do. The adjective good is describing the subject you. You don't do well, you're not good."
His words sting, even though I know he's just giving me an example of the correct grammar, "Oh," I mumble. I still don't really understand, but I don't want to embarrass myself any more. Dolohov grabs me from under my armpits and hoists me up onto his lap. I start to squirm as I am pressed against him, but stop abruptly, reminding myself that I get treated better when I behave, and, like Lucius said last night, I should feel honored that these powerful people want to spend time with me at all. Plus, he said he would take me to Diagon Alley later today if I was good. My brain feels like sludge, and my muscles are starting to feel tired. As Lucius begins a Chopin Nocturne, Dolohov slowly and painstakingly pulls off my unbuttoned shirt. I focus on keeping my muscles tense as he traces the scars on my back made by my father's belt.
"These are lovely. Who gave them to you?" Dolohov murmurs. I shake my head, feeling nauseous, "Well?"
I don't respond.
He sighs in frustration and begins to brush his fingers along each of the ribs on my back. I reposition the lollipop in my mouth, swallow, and suddenly my muscles feel very weak. I sway, and Dolohov catches me, then pulls me in close and whispers, "That's right, relax. How are you feeling, little whore?"
I shudder, and murmur, "Mm okay. I'm good? I'm well?"
Dolohov laughs, and lightly drags his nails down each vertebrae of my spine. I shiver involuntarily, and feel his hot breath on the side of my face as he whispers, "I'm glad you're so good for me." He grabs my boney hips and drags me in even closer on his lap. I don't think about what I feel as he shifts his legs underneath me. If I don't think about it, it doesn't exist.

After Lucius finishes Claire de Lune, he gets up and glances over to me with his cold, calculating eyes. Our eyes lock for a second, and he looks as if he's about to say something, but instead, he turns around and walks into the other room, saying, "I'll be right back. Severus, fix your belt."

As soon as he's out of sight, Dolohov asks, "Are you tired?" and without waiting for a response, he grabs under my legs with one hand and the back of my neck with the other. He pulls my head down and pulls my legs onto the couch so that I am lying with my head resting on his lap. He takes his hand off the back of my neck, pulls my belt off completely and tosses it to the floor.
"Lucius said to fix it," I mumble, cheeks red.
"I did! It's not hanging off anymore, is it? It's fixed!" Dolohov chuckles. He grabs the lollipop stick, and twirls it in my mouth, sneering, "You're lucky Lucius treats you so well, little whore."
"Mm not," I mumble through the lollipop. I can feel my heart banging in my chest.
"Not what? Not lucky, or not a whore?" he laughs, lets go of the lollipop stick, unbuttons and unzips my pants, and shoves his hand roughly back underneath my boxers, "You would look so delicious all chained up for me," he whispers, "I bet you'd sound lovely screaming for Lucius to save you…" he trails off. Frightened and not thinking straight, I try to roll off the couch to get away, but he grabs my hair with his free hand, takes his other hand out of my pants, and clasps it around my throat, pressing down lightly. I try to pry his hand off my throat, but my weak, clumsy fingers are not strong enough.
"Now, now, none of that! Be a good boy!" he laughs, letting go of my hair and shoving the lollipop deeper into my mouth. I cough and gag, but he massages my neck, forcing me to swallow the bitter tasting saliva in my mouth. A wave of exhaustion washes over me, and I feel my entire body go limp, "There you go," he whispers, letting go of the lollipop and my neck, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"
"Please," I whisper hoarsely as he begins running his fingertips over the ridge of my right hip bone, then down back underneath my boxers.
"Please? Please what, slut? Please stop?"
"Please…" I want to tell him to stop— to get his hands off me— but my brain is moving too slowly, and my muscles won't respond.
"Don't you know begging is like firewhiskey to me? You really don't have any clue, do you? So naïve— Lucius has really done an amazing job on you; though it's so unfair of him to keep you all to himself. I would share if you were mine," he croons.
I mean to shake my head, but instead, my head just flops over to the right so that my face is centimeters from his belt.
Dolohov smirks, strokes my hair out of my face, "I've already given you something to suck on! I'd love to give you something else to put in your mouth, though. But Lucius has already said he doesn't want to share, and we don't want to make him angry, do we, little whore?" he chuckles, moving my head back and twirling the lollipop in my mouth, "I bet you sound incredible when you moan. You know, I can even make torture feel good, but only if you beg hard enough," he purrs. My eyesight begins to blur as I swallow some more of the liquid from the lollipop. Out of my right ear, I hear Lucius opening and closing cupboards in the kitchen and getting out what I assume to be wine glasses. Dolohov begins to stroke up and down the bones of my sternum and past my sunken stomach, he says, "You're a fun little toy, aren't you? So timid and submissive— I can see why Lucius keeps you around."
Feeling nauseous and terrified, I stare through blurry eyes at the ceiling, and just as the room begins to go dark, I hear Lucius' footsteps. From what sounds like very far away, I hear Lucius say something, then Dolohov grabs my arm and yanks me back up. My head swims, and, unable to hold myself up, I slump over onto his shoulder. Lucius hands Dolohov a glass of wine. I want to move away from Dolohov, but I can't. I swallow some more of the dissolved lollipop. It's almost all gone now. I want to take it out of my mouth, but the muscles in my arms won't respond.
"How's everything going?" Lucius murmurs.
"It's going well. He'll be asleep soon. He was almost there when you walked in," Dolohov says quietly.
Lucius bends down and looks into my eyes. I try to look back at him, but my eyes won't focus. I feel a strong hand on my shoulder pushing me back so I'm leaning against the couch. I blink my eyes rapidly as my stomach churns. The hand moves from my shoulder and gently grabs my chin. A long finger moves from left to right and back again in front of my face. I try to follow it with my eyes, but I can't get them to focus. Lucius' face swims suddenly in front of me. He slides his thumb in between my teeth to open my mouth and takes the lollipop stick out. The lollipop is all gone. I feel Lucius pick me up.
"Please," I mumble. I want to ask him to help me, but my mouth won't form the words.
"Shut your mouth– be a good boy now," Lucius says, and sits down on the couch next to Dolohov, still holding me, "Antonin, he looks terrible. I told you, he's recovering from a brain injury."
"Don't worry, he'll be fine. There won't be any lasting side-effects. He's just going to sleep early today like you said! You'll have lots of time before he wakes up again. I can guarantee you that!" Dolohov laughs, downs his wine, and stands up.
I can't keep my eyes open, and as I feel Lucius gently lay me down across his lap, the room goes dark and quiet around me.