When I wake up the next morning, Evan is not there. He normally waits for me before going down for breakfast, or at least wakes me up.
"Where's Evan?" I ask John.
"Good morning to you, too," he smirks. I throw a pillow at him, "I'm not sure where he is. Maybe in the common room? He said he had an exam tomorrow, so maybe he's studying? He's been in kind of a rough mood since last night."
Confused, I make my bed, get dressed, brush my teeth and wash my face, and head to the Great Hall with John, Clarence, and Joseph. Evan is sitting alone at the Slytherin table.
Scooting up next to him, I tentatively say, "Good morning! You got here early today!"
He grunts in reply.
"What're you doing?"
"Reading."
Perplexed, I look at Clarence. He shrugs, and tosses a piece of toast onto his plate.
"What're you reading?" I ask, nudging Evan's shoulder.
"Daily Prophet. Do you need something?" It's not like him to be so terse, and I'm starting to think I've done something to upset him.
"I just wanted to say good morning, I guess. You didn't wake me up this morning! Are you okay? You seemed like there was something on your mind last night."
"I'm fine," he growls, closing his paper and stuffing it roughly into his bag.
"Where are you going?"
"To study," he responds, and briskly walks away.
"What's up with him?" I ask Joseph, "Is it something I did?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe he's been rejected? I know I wasn't very happy when Morgan wouldn't go out with me! Come to think of it, he did seem a bit off last night," he says, putting two hard-boiled eggs onto his plate and one onto mine, "Want an egg?"
"No, I'm not hungry, but thanks."
"Whatever you say!" he shrugs, and starts devouring his food.
"Hey, Joseph! Stop trying to steal Severus' girl! Morgan's the mother of his little, ugly, screaming dirt-child!" John laughs, and tosses some toast onto my plate.
"Oi, Mulciber!" Morgan calls from a little ways down the table, "We already told you, it was a one-night stand!"
"What?!" I say sarcastically, "I thought it was true love! I thought we had something special!" I smile as Morgan and my friends laugh, and while they are distracted, I hide some of the food on my plate under my unused napkin. I want to follow Evan. I glance over at the Gryffindor table. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew are all eating breakfast. None of my friends are even close to done eating yet, and I don't want to go off alone, so I open up my Ancient Runes textbook to study. I have an exam in a few days anyways.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Evan sits next to Joseph, leaving Clarence to sit next to me. When class is over, he grabs his stuff and leaves without saying a word. After classes are over for the day, I look around the common room for Evan. Not finding him there, I go to the library with Regulus. Evan isn't there, either. Sighing, I find a table and we sit down to study.
"What's wrong, Sev?" Regulus whispers after a while, "You haven't even turned one page! Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just confused," I whisper back, "Evan's not talking to me, and I don't know what I'm supposed to have done to make him so mad!"
"I don't know… maybe he's stressed about exams?"
"Maybe, but he's never acted like this before!"
"Quiet in the library!" Madam Pince whispers loudly. I glare at her as she walks away.

When I get back to my dormitory, Evan's curtains are drawn around his bed. The next few days pass the same way. By Saturday, I've had enough. I wake up early to go sit in my armchair by the fire. I'm going to wait for Evan to try to sneak out, then I'll make him talk. I sit for a while, staring into the fire, but still on the lookout for movement from the dormitories. Finally, at around 4:30, I see him sneaking out of the dormitory.
"Going somewhere?" I drawl, leaning back in Lucius' old armchair and crossing my legs, still looking into the fire. I have to fight down a giggle as he stops abruptly.
"Not particularly," he answers.
"Then you won't mind answering some questions, will you?" I say, turning in my chair and motioning towards the couch. When he doesn't move, I raise one eyebrow. He walks jerkily towards the couch and sits down.
"What do you want?"
"What's your problem? You've been shitty to me this whole week, and I'm tired of it."
He doesn't answer.
"Well? Is it something I've done?"
He purses his lips and stares pointedly into the fire.
"You're gonna tell me what's wrong. I can sit here all day if I have to, and I can make sure you do, too, even if you do have a quidditch game today. Don't worry, I'm patient."
Evan's lips twitch into a small smile, then, as if realizing his composure has slipped, he sets his face into a frown again and turns to face me, "I know what's going on between you and Lucius."
Confused, I cock my head and furrow my brows, "What do you mean?" I ask.
"I meant what I said," he growls.
I shake my head, still confused, "I don't understand."
"You're sleeping with him!" he says accusatorially. His cheeks are turning red.
"What?! No! That would be so gross! Lucius signed the papers to be my guardian when my parents died, remember? And he's married! I don't like him like that, and I know he doesn't like me like that, either!"
"I heard what Potter was saying to his pals that day Lucius came to take you out! He said, 'Oh look, it's Snape's sugar daddy! I can't believe he still keeps that charity case around!' and Black said you were probably sucking his dick or something! And Lucius brought you coffee and took you to the Three Broomsticks! I'm not stupid, Severus! There are private rooms at the Three Broomsticks! He said he had things to discuss with you, and you were out for a really long time! And he said you should take a shower! You two were obviously messing around! And he's always touching you, and hugging you, and giving you nice things, and taking you out! It's obvious to me that you're sleeping with him! And I told you I would wait for you till you were ready to be with me, so if you've just been sleeping with him this whole time, that would mean you never really liked me like I thought you did!" Evan's breathing fast, and looks angrier than I've ever seen him look before.
For a brief second, I remember being on my knees, chest shoved to the floor, with strong fingers digging into my hips, and… What was I just thinking about? I must have fallen asleep for a second. Shaking my head, I take a deep breath, and say, "I swear I've never done anything like that with Lucius! I've never done anything like that with anybody! Potter and Black always make shit up about me, you know that. They're always trying to make me out to be a bad person. Last night me and Lucius got dinner and walked around Hogsmeade! He wanted to talk to me about school, and how I'm doing studying for my mastery, and he wanted to tell me that Narcissa had another miscarriage! He's really torn up about it!"
"Oh! I– I didn't know…" Evan fumbles.
"So, without confirming it with me first, you just assumed I was whoring myself out? Why would you do that? What the fuck, Evan?!" I frown. I take a deep breath. It wouldn't do to raise my voice in the common room and have somebody misunderstand.
"Sev, I'm sorry! Listen, I didn't know! I didn't mean– I just…"
I take another deep breath, stand up, walk over to the couch, and sit down next to Evan, "I swear I'm not doing anything like that with Lucius. We've always just been close like that. Remember? He's always hugged me and stuff— that's just how he is."
Evan looks away, and says, "But that's not now he is with anybody else. I knew him before Hogwarts, and he was never like that with anybody! You're the only person I've ever seen him act that way with!"
"He hugs Narcissa!"
"Yeah, Sev. Of course he hugs her. She's his wife. You're not his wife. And he's so controlling with you! I don't like how he's always telling you what to do! Do you like how he treats you?" he grabs both of my shoulders, and I tense up waiting for him to shake me, but he doesn't.
"I don't know! Usually I like being hugged! Sometimes I don't want it, but I don't have a choice, do I? He's the only person that's ever taken care of me! And plus, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even have the clothes on my back! I owe it to him to let him treat me however he wants. You just don't understand. You've always been able to get what you want, and your parents actually like you!" I say, frustrated. I remember the conversation I overheard that one summer at the manor between Lucius and his friends before I started having to spend time with Yaxley and Dolohov, but then I remind myself I didn't hear anything, and that I was in the lab the whole time, and I mumble, "Lucius has always looked out for me and been there when I needed help."
"Right, but that doesn't mean you need to be a doormat and let him do whatever he wants to you! If you're uncomfortable, then you should say something!"
"I can't, Evan! I don't want him to get mad at me! And it's not a big deal. I don't mind it when he hugs me and stuff. Really! I mean, sometimes I don't want to be touched, but I don't want to say anything that might make him mad at me!"
"But that's not healthy! If he scares you that much, then he's just as bad as your parents!"
I put my hands on his wrists by my shoulders, and say, "You wouldn't say that if your parents had been like mine. Lucius scares me sometimes, but he hugs me and tells me he's proud of me when I'm good, and he gets me nice stuff when I deserve it. I don't remember my mum ever telling me she was proud of me, or that she loved me, or anything! And besides, Lucius doesn't beat me. I still have nightmares of my dad coming home drunk. The last time he beat me, I was in St. Mungo's for over two weeks recovering! You don't know what it's like to be scared for your life like that! And to have nobody to protect you! My mum never said anything to stop him! She always told me it was my fault and that he had to beat me because I was being bad, even if I wasn't! You don't understand how bad it was!"
Evan looks as if he might cry, and wraps me up in his arms, and chokes out, "I'm so, so sorry, Sev!"
I nuzzle my head into his shoulder, and murmur, "It's okay. They're dead now, anyways. They can't hurt me anymore. Are you still mad at me?"
"No. I'm sorry for assuming that you were sleeping with him. You're not like that at all. Sev?"
"Mmm?"
"I don't scare you, do I?"
"No," I say, and shake my head, "You make me feel safe."
Evan pulls away just enough to look into my eyes, and murmurs, "Do you think you might be ready soon? It's okay if you're not, but… I just figured… I–"
"Shut up," I grin, and before I can convince myself not to, I lean in and kiss him. His fingers tangle in my hair, and I let myself melt into his embrace. I tentatively put my arms around his neck and lean back, pulling him on top of me. One of his hands snakes down below my belt, and my muscles tense automatically.
"May I keep going?" he whispers.
"Mm hmm," I nod.
"Relax, Sev, you're okay," Evan brings his hand back up to cup my cheek, "I'll stop if you're not comfortable."
"No, don't stop. Please," I breathe, and wind my fingers through his hair, "I just need to take a deep breath."
He lowers his head and kisses me gently, then puts his hand back to work undoing my belt. I close my eyes and my breath catches in my throat as he sucks on a spot on the side of my neck.
"Evan," I murmur, putting a hand on his chest.
"You're okay, I've got you," he says, kissing all the way down my chest and stomach to my open pants. As Evan takes me into his mouth, a quiet moan escapes my lips, and I clap my hand over my mouth. Evan reaches up to intertwine his fingers with mine and gives them a quick squeeze as he swirls his tongue around my shaft. I can't believe this is really happening! I'm ugly, and stupid, and I don't deserve this. As if he can sense my thoughts, Evan glances up at me, and murmurs, "You're so perfect, Sev."
I shut my eyes tight, and clench my hands into fists by my head. He bobs his head, and my hips seem to move of their own accord. After a few minutes, I start to feel pressure building up, and for a few seconds, the world seems to stop. Then I feel Evan's lips on mine. My brain feels fuzzy, and I smile into his lips, "You should sit up," I whisper as his mouth moves back down to my neck.
"Oh?" he grins, and nibbles the spot he was sucking on, "Why?"
To answer his question, I slide off the couch onto my knees in front of him and begin to undo his belt.
He grabs my hair as I envelop his shaft in my mouth. I can't believe Evan is hard for me. Because of me. I feel powerful as he grinds his hips and stifles a moan, "Sev," he gasps, "Sev!"
I swirl my tongue and bob my head. I can tell he is getting close when his thrusts become harder. When he reaches his climax, and his hand falls from my head, I swallow, wipe my mouth, do my pants back up, and crawl back up to the couch.
Evan fixes his pants and lies down, pulling me with him. He grabs a blanket from the top of the couch and covers both of us with it, "You're amazing, Sev," he sighs.
I smile, and close my eyes, feeling peaceful and warm, "So are you," I respond.
"Do you want to stay here for a bit, or go back to the dorm?"
"Let's stay out here for a while. When other people start waking up, we can sit up and pretend we've been studying or something. I'll go grab our books."
"No! You stay here and rest– I'll grab the books," Evan sits back up and I scoot over so he can stand up. When he gets back with some books, he lies back down and holds me close.

I wake to Evan gently shaking my shoulder. Yawning, I sit up and look around. Out of my right ear, I hear movement from the dormitories. Looking around, I see Joseph emerging from our dorm room. Grinning, he walks over to us. His eyes travel from the closed books on the coffee table, to Evan's uncharacteristically messy hair, and finally to the hickeys on my neck.
"You two get some good studying done?" he sneers.
Evan blushes, and runs his fingers through his hair.
"Sure did!" I respond, smiling, "I think I'm really ready for our exam in, uh–" I glance at one of the books on the coffee table, "Third-Year Transfiguration!"
Evan and Joseph laugh, and Joseph tosses the book at me.
I dodge it, and it hits the floor behind the couch, "Hey! I'm gonna report you for assault!" I laugh.
"You go for it, little guy. Anyways, don't forget we have a game today! Remember we're playing Gryffindor, and I for one can't wait to knock Potter off his broom. You'll be there, right, Severus?" Joseph asks.
"Of course! I've been looking forward to watching you clobber him for weeks, the stupid, arrogant piece of shit," I grumble. Once Clarence and John join us, we head down to breakfast.

When we get to the Great Hall for breakfast, I don't even bother trying to cover up my neck. When I see Potter and Black, I toss my hair back and smirk at them, remembering Potter's words: "I'm pretty sure that nobody is into sneaky, skinny, nasty little goblins like you." I flinch as Evan puts a hand on my back, and look over my right shoulder at him.
"You want to make a bet?" he says, grinning naughtily and ladling porridge into a bowl and putting it on my plate.
"On what?" I ask inquisitively.
"The game today!"
"Maybe. What are the terms?"
Evan smiles, "If Gryffindor wins, then next time we go to Hogsmeade, I'll buy you drinks. If Slytherin wins, then you can buy me drinks. I know you have a bit of money saved up from selling your poisons over the summers, right?"
"If Gryffindor wins, you can buy me drinks, but don't you want more of an incentive to help us win?"
"Potentially— what did you have in mind?"
Leaning towards him, I whisper in his ear, "Whatever you want. Anything come to mind?" I pause for a moment to give him time to think, and smirk as his face turns brick red, "Anything at all?"
Evan fidgets in his seat, and looks at his plate.
When he doesn't say anything, I shrug my shoulders, "Okay, have it your way then. Drinks it is!"
I inhale sharply as I feel his hand on my thigh, "If we win, take a shower, and then I'll tell you what I want," he whispers.
This time, it's my turn to blush. My lips twist into a small smile, and I grab a few pieces of bacon, two hard-boiled eggs, and an apple and put them on his plate, "You need to eat, then! You can't win a Quidditch game on an empty stomach!" I say, playfully swatting his hand away from my leg.
He laughs, and takes a big bite of bacon. While my friends eat, I pick at my porridge, trying to gather the courage to finish the entire bowl. While we're eating, Regulus comes walking over and taps me on the shoulder.
"Hey, Sev?"
"Mmm?" I mumble through a mouthful of porridge.
"If we win tonight, do you want to be on my team for Butterbeer pong?"
"Maybe," I say, glancing at Evan, "I've already got plans I think, but I might have time for a short game! You know my depth perception is terrible, though, right, Reg? I'd be useless!"
"Yeah, but it'd be fun! Evan, you could play with us, too!" he says excitedly.
Evan scoffs through his bacon, and says, "I don't know, mate, Sev and I have some big plans for tonight, but I'm happy to play a short game with you first if he is. Especially if you catch the snitch! And even more if you can knock Potter off his broom while catching it!"
"I'll do my best!" Regulus laughs, "See you at the pitch, Evan! See you at the game, Sev!"
"See you there!" I laugh.

Evan is on top of his game today, and blocks every single attempt at a goal. To my great joy, during the game, Joseph does, indeed, succeed in clobbering Potter with a bludger. When the bludger collides with Potter's side, it sends his broom spinning to the other end of the pitch, giving Regulus time to catch the snitch and secure a victory for Slytherin. When we all get back to the common-room, I take a quick shower. Once I'm out, I dry off and get dressed away from the mirror. If I look at myself, I know I won't feel confident anymore. I put on a gray t-shirt, Evan's big, comfy dark green zip-up hoodie, my black jeans, and the white canvas sneakers I bought myself with some of the money I earned selling potions. I flip my head over, comb out my damp hair with my fingers, put it into a high ponytail, and loop it through into a bun so it doesn't hang on my neck. Hearing footsteps, I turn towards the door as Evan walks in, "Hey! You did so good in the game today!"
"Thanks! So about that bet…" he grins. His face is still sweaty from the game, and his shirt is soaked.
"Take a shower and then we can talk! You're sweaty and gross!" I laugh, pushing him away and turning around. He catches my wrist as I walk away.
Looking towards the door, he leans in and whispers, "You said if we won, I could have whatever I wanted, right?"
"I'm pretty sure that's what I said. Why?"
"After we play one round of Butterbeer pong with Regulus, I want you to come to that empty classroom behind the potions labs with me. I'll bring what we need."
I can feel my heartbeat speed up, and I smile shyly up at him.
"Yes, sir!" I tease, pulling my hand away and walking towards the door, "Whatever you want!"

When I get back to the common room from my shower, I help Clarence, John, Morgan, and a few other girls from our year set up for the party. John went to the kitchens to get food while I was showering, so Morgan and I help him set up the food table. As I'm messing with the chips and punch, Evan leaves the bathrooms. His hair is still wet, and I can feel myself blush as I notice that he hasn't shaved today. I shake my head, take a deep breath, clear my mind, and try to focus on what I'm doing. I look up to see Morgan looking at me.
"What?" I ask, perplexed.
"Oh, nothing, just thinking," she responds, "Evan's a nice guy, don't you think?"
My stomach flip-flops, and I say, "Yeah. He's a good friend."
"And Joseph? I feel like maybe it's time for me to give up on leading him on, don't you think?"
"You finally tired of playing with him?" I laugh.
"Yeah, I think I've had my fun!" she smiles, and continues working on the table.

Later on, once everything is set up and the party has started, Regulus and I play Butterbeer pong against Evan and Rabastan. I'm not good at Butterbeer pong, and neither is Rabastan, so we're a pretty evenly matched team. I end up having such a good time that I even let myself eat a few chips and have a bit of Firewhiskey. After our game, I hand my glass of Firewhiskey to Evan.
"What's this for?" he asks, perplexed.
"I can't finish it. You can have it."
"Oh, okay! Thanks!" he smiles and chugs the rest of my Firewhiskey, "Do you think you'll want more tonight?"
"Probably not," I say, thinking of how fat I'll look if I have anything else to eat or drink tonight besides water.
"Okay! Well, are you ready?" he grins.
"I told you, it's whatever you want," I whisper, looking up at him and meeting his eyes.
"Are you sure?"
I sigh and run my hands through my hair. I'm not used to making choices for myself, and I'm getting a bit frustrated, "Why would I say that unless I meant it?"
"Merlin, okay! I just wanted to make sure!" he laughs, then, grabbing my waist again and pulling me close, he whispers in my right ear, "I'm just saying, it's not every day the Slytherin Quidditch Captain wants to fuck you. Or maybe it is!"
I can feel myself go red, and Evan snickers.
"Oh mighty Lord and Captain Rosier, thank you for reminding me of my place," I mock, pulling away and bowing deeply to him, "I am so deeply honored that somebody so powerful such as yourself could possibly take interest in somebody so lowly and pathetic as me! I grovel at your feet!"
"Stop that!" he laughs, pulling me into a hug, "And don't say such mean things about yourself! I mean it! Remember what I told you earlier? Or do I have to remind you?"
"Hmm, I must have forgotten!" I smile, "I think you're going to have to remind me after all!"
Evan chuckles, and lets me go, whispering, "Well then, I think we should go ahead and get started now! I believe I have a lesson to teach you about self-esteem, you silly… silly… what is it that you say?"
"Silly goose," I murmur, remembering smiling and laughing with Lily what seems like a lifetime ago.
"Silly goose! That's right!" he laughs, grabs my hand, and pulls me through the common room towards the door.
"Oi! Where are you two going?" Joseph calls out.
"I forgot– I have a potion simmering in the lab!" I yell.
He grins, and yells back, "Right. Have fun with that! Evan, don't get in his way!"
"I won't!" Evan laughs.

When we get to the empty classroom, Evan locks the door behind us, casts a silencing charm on the room, and walks slowly up to me. Suddenly extremely self-conscious, I hug my arms across my chest, look down at the floor, and shuffle my feet. Now that we're alone together, I just want to curl up and hide. I don't deserve this attention— I'm ugly and stupid, and there's no reason that pureblood nobility like Evan should want to be with me.
"Hey," Evan murmurs, tipping my chin up with his fingers, "what did I tell you? You're not allowed to think bad thoughts!"
"I'm not!" I mutter, not meeting his eyes.
"Yes you are. Sev?" he asks, gently turning me around and hugging me from behind as he rocks from side to side, "You know if you were actually ugly or stupid or anything you say you are, I wouldn't want you, right?"
I feel my eyes start to water up, and I blink rapidly, shaking my head.
"So are you saying that I'm stupid for wanting you? Or that I have bad taste? Because that's what it sounds like."
"No! You're amazing, and smart, and handsome, and and and and… and you could have anything you wanted! You're one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight pureblood families, Evan! You could have anybody you wanted!" I whine, wiggling around in his arms.
He smiles, and says, "But I want you, Sev! I want you!" and he tips my chin up to kiss me. As we stand there, he moves his hands down my torso, grabs my hips, and lifts me onto a desk. I drape my arms around his shoulders, and he smiles into my lips, "I want you so badly," he whispers, "I always have."
"I told you," I breathe, "you can have whatever you want."
Evan tears his cloak off and throws it on the floor, pulls me off the desk and onto the floor, removes his own pants and then mine, then grabs a vial from his pants before tossing them onto the desk. Crawling between my legs, he pulls my shirt up and off, then gently wraps his fingers around my hair, and, pulling my head back, he trails kisses down from my mouth to the front of my neck where he gives me another hickey, "Do you wanna be on your back or on your knees or what?" he whispers, blushing.
"It's whatever you want," I murmur.
He grins, and says, "Okay, then stay on your back. I wanna be able to kiss you while we're doing it."
"Yes, sir," I tease, pulling his head down for another kiss.

After we're both spent, Evan pulls me down and holds me tight from behind, nuzzling his face into my neck. My head is buzzing, and my muscles don't seem to want to work.
"You're amazing, Sev," Evan mumbles, "Just amazing."
I smile, and wiggle in even closer to his warm body.
"So are you," I murmur, smiling happily.

The next morning, I wake up as Evan sits down on my bed.
"Good morning!" he says cheerfully. I groan, and roll over, covering my face with my pillow. As I roll over, I notice that I'm still a little sore from last night. I smile into my pillow, mentally going through the events of last night so I don't forget.
"What time is it?" I mumble.
"It's time for breakfast! I'm starving!" Evan exclaims.
I roll back over and sit up cross-legged, giving him a small smile, "You know what? I'm a little hungry, too."