"So, let me get this straight," said Church slowly to Caboose, anger leaking into his voice. "You gave this guy our flag."

"Is that bad?" asked Caboose.

"Bad? Oh no that's not bad," Church replied sarcastically. "Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole god damn base!"

We were all standing on top of Blue base, with Church and Tucker standing near the western edge, while Caboose and I stood a few feet behind them. Tucker was scanning the landscape, while Church was chewing out Caboose. I wondered if I should tell them that I had seen Donut, before deciding against it. I didn't feel like being chewed out today.

"Hey! Look, there he is!" said Tucker suddenly, pointing in Donuts direction.

"Where?" asked Church as he lifted his sniper rifle. "Oh, yeah. Oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs."

"He must be one smart son of a bitch!" said Tucker.

"Oh, I don't know," I commented. "It seems more likely that Caboose is just stupid."

"Hey!" Caboose protested.

"Oh shit," Church interrupted. "Hey, Tucker, look at his armor. It's Red."

"Oh man!" Tucker complained. "That means it's their Sergeant."

"Well, that makes sense," said Church. "At least we know how he got past our defenses."

"Uh, you know," Caboose interjected. "He came in from the back door where you guys were standing."

"Yeah… we know," I rolled my eyes.

"Well, ok," Tucker said to Church. "Well, let's take him out then."

"Roger that," said Church, taking aim at Donut. "Ok. Say goodnight, Sarge."

He quickly fired four rounds. All of them missed.

"Ah, crap," Church said in exasperation as he lowered the Sniper rifle, before turning to find Tucker and I staring at him. "What?"

"You're really not very good with that thing, are you?" asked Tucker.

Church was prevented from saying anything by Donut yelling at us.

"Hey! It's me, don't shoot!" shouted Donut back at us. "I'm the one that bought the Flag, remember?"

"Oh, great. Now he's taunting us," said Tucker. "That's just embarrassing."

"All right, that's it," Church grunted with anger. "I've had it!"

He turned to Caboose. "Rookie, you stay here. Me, Tucker, and White will head through the teleporter, and we'll cut him off at the pass."

"Right!" Caboose nodded.

Church turned and walked over to the other side of the teleporter, before turning to look at me. "White, you ready?"

"You did set it up right, didn't you?" I asked dubiously.

"What? What are you talking about?" asked Church in confusion, turning to look at it. "All it has is an on and off button."

"You can access the teleporter's control panel through your HUD, remember?" I replied in an instructive tone.

"Yeah, I must have missed that class," Church replied sarcastically. "Doesn't matter, you're going through."

"Why me, though?" I asked curiously. "Why not Tucker or Caboose?"

"Cause you're the rookie, and I want to make sure this thing works properly," Church stated flatly.

I stared at him for a long moment. "Wait a minute… is this because I said I was gay?"

"What- No!" Church protested sharply.

"I don't know dude, it's kinda starting to feel like a gay discriminatory thing-"

"No, it has nothing to do with the fact that you're gay," Church interrupted hotly. "It's because you're a rookie… and the fact that you're starting to annoy me."

"Well, either way, there is no way I'm going in that thing if you haven't calibrated it properly," I stated mutinously. "Seriously, I could die! We could die!"

"We've already tested it, White," Church growled with annoyance.

I gave him a flat look. "Oh yeah? Let me guess… you threw rocks through it."

"Yeah, and by the way, they came out the other side," Tucker added snottily.

"Did they come out all hot and covered in black stuff?" I asked sharply.

"Uh… Yeah. How did you know?" asked Tucker in surprise.

"That's a sign of an improperly calibrated teleporter," I observed with annoyance. "There's no way I'm getting in that thing."

"White, I'd almost hate to do this to you," said Church as he rose his assault rifle and pointed it at me.

I stared at the business end of it. "You sure this isn't the gay thing?"

"Will you shut up with that?" Church groaned before giving me a flat look. "You know, I look at it this way: Either A: We go through there and get the flag back-"

He indicated the Teleporter.

"Or B: we stay here, and I get to kill you," he pointed his gun at my chest.

I sighed and face-palmed. "Well when you put it like that… For the record, you're an asshole. Tootles!"

I ran though the Teleporter.

There was a slight buzzing sound as I passed though the teleporter. I emerged on the other side feeling like my nerves had been lit on fire for a moment, but then sensation turned back to normal.

"Jesus!" yelled Church.

"Holy Crap!" yelled Donut.

"What the fuck?!" yelled Tucker.

"Oh, hey," I said, turning around and observing the three of them. "Looks like you guys got over here before me."

"White, is that you?" asked Church curiously.

"No, I'm Caboose. Cause, you know, that's real obvious," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, it's definitely him," Tucker grumbled.

"Whats with all that black shit on your armor?" asked Church, looking me over.

"Didn't we just talk about this?" I asked with annoyance. "I told you that stupid fucking teleporter wasn't calibrated properly! I could have died!"

"Ok, ok, I get it!" Church replied grouchily. "You can calibrate the damn thing when this is over."

"Yeah, whatever," I rolled my eyes, before turning to Donut. "Why'd you take our flag, asshole?"

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about!" exclaimed Donut.

"The idiot thought he was buying it from a store, White," Church explained, before turning to Donut. "Ok, dipshit. We've captured you, so you're coming back to base with us as our prisoner. Tucker, go ahead and take the – what in god's name is that music!?"

Indeed, we heard polka music coming towards us, and suddenly, the Red's jeep jumped over the hill.

"Woo Hoo!" I heard one of the Reds yell.

"Run! Run towards the cliff!" yelled Church with fear.

We (that is, Church, Tucker, and I) all made haste to do so, and they started firing at us with their machine gun. I guess it was a good thing we all had shields, as they protected us from the gunfire. We took cover behind a rock.

For a minute, the three of us just crouched behind it.

"Well, we'll just wait here," said Church eventually. "That things gotta run out of bullets some time."

I frowned deeply. "You know, I'm still not happy about the teleporter thing. Are you absolutely certain that you're not a homophobe?"

"Jesus Christ, White," Church groaned with annoyance. "This is not the time to discuss this!"

"Well it's not like we're going anywhere, anyway," I commented wryly.

Church frowned, "Fine, what the hell do you want from me?"

"An apology would be nice," I suggested.

Church gave me a flat look, before rolling his eyes. "Alright, Jesus, I'm sorry."

"Thanks," I nodded, before smiling. "Just… don't force anyone else through the teleporter at gunpoint before I've had a chance to look at it, alright?"

"Yeah, fine, whatever," Church groaned.

"I'm just glad it wasn't me," Tucker grumbled suddenly, reminding us of where we were. "That Black armor does looks kind of cool, though. Do you think-"

"Shut up, Tucker!" Church and I barked at the same time.