Azumangastar Galactica
Not-as-Thrilling-as-Advertised
6. Operation Sucker Punch
Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 06-21-08 - Published: 06-01-08 - Complete - id:4294345
Kaori Aida, callsign Stammer, felt like she would lose her mind. Her nose itched, but she couldn't scratch it through her helmet. As she flew she scrunched her face up, but that didn't help. She wondered if she should just take her helmet off and scratch it; the Raptor's cabin was pressurized, after all. Better make sure nothing was about to fly up their ass first. "Anything?" she asked back to her ECO.
Seated in the back of the cabin at her DRADIS console, Chihiro Inoue, callsign Flaps, shook her head. "Nothing but hash," she said.
Kaori nodded and reached up to pull off her helmet and scratch her nose. Ahh, relief. She was just pulling her helmet back on when she saw something that made her bring the Raptor's nose up and fire the ventral RCS thrusters, bringing the little ship to a fast stop. As she gazed up at the area of space to their ten-o'clock, Chihiro leaned back away from the DRADIS console and looked up at her. "What's up?"
"I thought I saw . . . there," Kaori said as she saw them again. "Cylons." The unmistakeable claw-winged silhouettes of Cylon Raiders, flitting between the asteroids. Distant though they were, barely visible against the black, she would recognize them anywhere. She allowed herself a few shots with their gun camera before she flipped their bird over and accelerated away. "Do you think they saw us?"
Chihiro shrugged. "I don't know." DRADIS hadn't even picked them up in this soup.
Kaori nodded. "Okay, well spin us up."
As soon as the FTL was spooled and the coordinates were double-checked, Kaori pushed the red button on her console, the canopy flashed white, and the Sea Slug was once again dominating the scene outside.
"You only stayed long enough to get these shots?" Yukari asked disgustedly at the pilot and her ECO standing across the map table in the Slug's Situation Room. "Why didn't you stick around to get a better idea of their forces? Or better yet, use those frakking missile pods we bolted onto the sides of your ship?"
"Not everyone here loves going on suicide missions, Commander," Colonel Kurosawa said.
"You stay out of this," Yukari snapped.
At another edge of the table, Kagura nodded. "The Colonel's right, they'd have been blown out of the sky if they'd tried to take them on." She picked up one of the photographs. "We'll need to do something about this recon patrol, though."
Kurosawa nodded and sighed. "I agree, we can't risk them finding us." She looked at Yukari. "Maybe we should just leave," she suggested. "We don't want to stick around in one place for too long anyway." As soon as she'd said that however, she knew their Commander wouldn't go for it.
"Why would we pass up such a golden opportunity to strike back at the enemy?" Yukari demanded and slapped a hand on the table. "I want a full military strike! We'll jump in and hit 'em before they know what's going on!"
The XO and CAG exchanged looks across the table, as if trying to decide who should be the one to speak first. Finally Kurosawa took the bait. "Sir, I don't think it's a good idea to take the whole ship. What if it's a trap?"
As much as she hated to volunteer to walk her pilots through a minefield, Kagura had to agree. "This is close enough to reach by Viper, we can check it out. Probably bring some Raptors along for support."
"Or we could jump the Slug in, but outside the range of their DRADIS. Use Raptors as listening birds to relay the action."
"Do we know what kind of range those things have?" Kagura asked.
Kurosawa shrugged. "Not really, but if they didn't pick up Stammer and Flaps back there we can get a pretty good idea of how far they can see in that hash."
Yukari looked back and forth between her Executive Officer and the commander of her air group and finally sighed bitterly. "Alright, fine."
Kurosawa nodded. "I'd like to help Captain Kagura plan the op, if she doesn't mind."
Kagura shook her head. "Oh no, I don't mind." To be honest she'd been thinking of asking for her help anyway, drawing up battle plans for war games and for actual combat were two very different things. They both ignored Yukari as she rolled her eyes and made kissy-faces.
"In the meantime," Kurosawa said, "I think we'd better send a Raptor to shadow the Cylon patrol. We don't want to get out there and find out they've all jumped away."
"Or that it's a trap," Kagura added, then turned to Kaori and Chihiro. "You two up for it?"
They looked at each other and nodded. "Yes sir," Kaori said.
"Okay, good. Remember, if they spot you no heroics, just jump your asses back here."
Chihiro laughed. "No worries there."
Kagura saluted. "Then good hunting, ladies," she said.
A flash swept across a region of space as it was folded and torn, and then the Sea Slug was prowling among the asteroids. Vented atmosphere puffed at the edge of her starboard flight pod, followed swiftly by the Vipers of Blue Squadron. Support Raptors emerged from the launch bay and took formation behind them.
"Sea Slug Shiisa," Kagura said over the wireless, "Commencing Operation Sucker-Punch." The Commander had insisted on naming the op.
"Roger that Shiisa," Kurosawa'se voice came back. "Good hunting."
"Gods, why don't you just marry her," Yukari said across the plotting table in CIC.
Kurosawa ignored that. "Stammer, how're things looking out there?"
"Looks like they're just taking their time out there," they heard Kaori say. "They seem to be checking out a pretty big asteroid right now."
"Maybe they're not even looking for us," Chihiro said. "They might just be looking for tylium or something."
"Why would they do that?" Yukari asked.
Kurosawa shrugged. "They'd need fuel just as much as we do."
"Frakberries, aren't we there yet?"
"Cut the chatter Numbnuts," Shiisa said. "ETA is six minutes. Stay frosty, people."
In her cockpit Tomo looked impatiently over at her wingman's Viper, and then around at the rest of the squadron. The sleek gray-blue Mark VIIs cut through the vacuum like a school of spaceborne sharks, keen on the scent of their prey. She sighed and checked her watch.
"Okay, we've got visual," Shiisa said over the wireless, and when she peered forward Tomo could see the familiar silhouettes of Cylon Raiders against an oblong asteroid larger than the Sea Slug. She'd only flown against them once, but she'd never forget that deadly sleek shape. "Let's get ready to rock."
"Hell yeah, let's do this!" Tomo yelled as Blue Squadron accelerated for the attack.
Almost immediately the distant Raiders came about, arrowing straight for them. "Oh frak, they see us," Handlebarz said.
"Let 'em come," Shiisa said. "All Vipers, break break break!"
Tomo brought her nose up and pulled back on the throttle as Blue Squadron broke formation, revealing the line of Raptors flying behind them. Then space was filled with swaying trails of exhaust as they fired into the approaching swarm.
"Torako, get up here!"
Torako lifted her head from her pillow and mumbled groggily. "Whuzzah?"
"Get your skinny ass up here, that's an order!"
Asagi heard running footsteps approaching, and Torako appeared through the hatch. "What is it?" she asked as she went straight to her pilot's chair. She hadn't even bothered putting on shoes.
"Look at your DRADIS."
Torako flicked a switch and peered at the screen. "When did that show up?" she asked as she watched the single contact hover in the field of blue.
"Just now," Asagi said.
"It's got a Colonial transponder," Torako said and looked across the room at her captain. "It's one of ours." She allowed herself a smile.
Asagi nodded. "Let's go say hello."
It was a Raptor. As Something Delicate approached, they could see the little vessel was in pretty bad shape. The engines had been shot out, a wing was blown off, and it was leaking oxygen and fuel. Asagi waved weakly at the mangled ship as it spun lazily in space. "Hello," she said.
With a face that said it was an exercise in futility Torako picked up her wireless handset. "This is the transport Something Delicate, does anyone read?"
They looked at each other in shock when they heard static crackle over the speakers and a voice responded. "Oh hey, you found me!" They sounded pretty out of it; oxygen deprivation? "My Raptor got shot up pretty bad . . . I guess I ticked 'em off, huh?"
Asagi grabbed her own handset. "Are you all right? What's your situation?"
As they got in closer they could see a figure waving at them through the Raptor's cracked canopy. "I see you! My ECO's dead, but I'm okay. I'm running out of air though."
"Okay sit tight," Asagi said, "we're gonna pick you up."
"Thanks a lot," the Raptor pilot said.
Asagi got up from her console. "I'm gonna suit up and meet her outside, so bring us in close and line us up, okay?"
Torako eyed the spinning craft skeptically. "I think you might be overestimating my piloting skills."
"Just do your best," Asagi said before disappearing through the hatch.
"Gods damn it I hate falling for shit!" Kagura flipped her bird and squeezed the trigger. The Raider on her tail jinked to the side out of her line of fire, and she desperately jerked her nose towards it as it closed on her. Then it was speared by three lines of red tracer fire, and she saw her wingman's Viper blur through the bloody wreckage.
"WHOO YEAH!" Numbnuts whooped over the wireless. "Oh gross, I got blood all over my Viper!"
"Thanks Numbnuts," Kagura said as she took off after her. Never leave your leader, idiot!
"You owe me one now," Numbnuts said as she turned after another one. Kagura swept to the side and fired, blasting a Raider apart as it was taking a bead on her wingman.
"Now we're even," she said.
The attack had been going good there, too. After the Raptors had fired their missiles and taken out nearly half the Cylon force, Blue Squadron had engaged the rest. They turned and ran, and like an idiot Kagura had given the order to pursue and destroy. Then the reinforcements had appeared around the limb of the asteroid.
How many pilots had they lost so far? Crayon had bought it almost immediately, along with Slinky and Doormat. Dead Meat had lived up to her callsign spectacularly, and Flamer's had proved similarly appropriate.
"Sea Slug Shiisa, this whole operation's FUBAR, we're getting cut to pieces out here! Handlebarz, your six!"
"I can't shake him!" Handlebarz yelled frantically as her Viper swung crazily from side to side in a vain attempt to lose her pursuer.
"He's mine!" Numbnuts shouted and tore off after the Raider.
"Gods dammit Lieutenant you're supposed to be flying my wing!" Kagura shouted as she found herself following her number two again.
"Those idiots!" Yukari spat like a curse, staring up at the DRADIS. "They flew headfirst into a trap!"
"It was your idea to attack in the first place!" Kurosawa said angrily before shaking her head. "They're getting torn apart. How fast can we get reinforcements out there?"
Lieutenant Mizuhara shook her head. "We're still seven minutes out." She looked terrified, and Kurosawa couldn't blame her; Takino was out there in the soup, and their affair was one of the worst kept secrets on the ship.
Kurosawa looked up at the screen. "This'll be over in seven minutes." She sighed. "Commander, we need to jump in there."
"I thought you said it was unwise," Yukari said, a little petulantly.
"It is, but if we don't then we'll lose those pilots out there."
Yukari laughed. "Ha, finally we get to do what I want to do! Mizuhara, jump us in there! Get all remaining Vipers in the tubes. I want action stations, people!"
Kagura was closing in for the kill on a Raider when she was blinded by a flash of light and the Sea Slug was suddenly filling her sky. "Oh holy frak!" she swore as the Raider exploded against the warship's hull and she pulled up hard on her stick to keep from doing the same. The silver armor plating covering the port flight pod blurred underneath her Viper as she barely missed colliding with the Battlestar.
"The cavalry has arrived!" Commander Tanizaki crowed over the wireless as the Sea Slug launched its remaining Viper squadrons to join Blue in their renewed offensive.
By the time Torako had reached the cargo hold Asagi was helping their new passenger get her helmet off. The pilot took a deep breath and looked over at her with a wide vacant smile. "Hi there! Fancy meeting you out here."
"Uh, hi," Torako said.
The Raptor pilot turned her eyes to Asagi as she pulled off her own helmet. "Welcome aboard the Delicate," she said. "I'm Captain Asagi Ayase, and this is my pilot, Torako Takino."
The pilot closed her eyes and bowed politely. "I'm Lieutenant Ayumu Kasuga. But everyone usually calls me by my callsign."
They waited for her to say what that was, but she just stood there smiling.
". . . And that would be . . .?" Asagi asked.
"Huh? Oh. Osaka."
Asagi and Torako exchanged glances. This certainly was a strange one, all right.
"Well Osaka," Asagi said, "why don't we get moving again, and then we can all get acquainted."
"Where we goin'?" Osaka asked hazily.
Torako paused on her way back up to the helm and shrugged. "Don't know, really. Got any ideas?"
Osaka just stared blankly and shrugged.
"Okay, so we know where the Sea Slug was until recently." The Six drummed her fingers on the edge of the data font. "But what's to stop them from simply jumping to the other side of the system?"
"Their commander is an idiot," said the Five. "At best she'll simply order a jump to another part of the belt. She won't want to give up the convenient cover of the asteroids."
"I hope you're right," the Six said. "That little stunt cost us quite a few Raiders."
"They're being downloaded into new bodies as we speak," said the Three to her left. "And now that we've confirmed their location, we can set our plan into motion."
The Six shook her head. "I don't like this. It all depends too heavily on the humans making boneheaded decisions."
"They fell for such an obvious trap, didn't they?" the Five asked.
The Six had to concede that point.
"Don't worry," the Five said. "Everything is going as planned. Our agent will be there soon, and then we can cross one more Battlestar off the list."
