What if Five was saying the truth and Delores was alive with the power to transfer her consciousness all along. Pure fluff and fix-it fic, but I just love this family.
Her eyes would catch the light in a different way, and he would sometimes feel flashes of Italian in his head.
He knew it wasn't his words, but given it always occurred when he was about to pass out from alcohol poisoning it really wasn't a convincing case to anyone, but then again there was no one else to tell.
It had been 5 years since the Universe had reset, now the all-powerful Hargreeves Empire was slowly but surely sucking the planet dry of resources and Five was determined to get his powers back even if that meant inventing time travel himself as a mere human to correct this path.
A three-piece suit cladded Five opened the pneumatic lab door and leaned on the frame as he read the name plastered on all the safety permits inside loudly: "Dr. Diana Maria de los Angeles Vigna Nera Lores. Wow, that is a mouthful." He said pointedly.
A female chuckle came from behind a few rows of lab benches. "Don't worry, nobody calls me that, most of my students call me Dr. Dee, my friends call me..."
"Delores..." Five gasped, he felt the earth shift beneath him, he took a stumbling step forward letting the pneumatic door close behind him with a crash. A pretty, slim woman in her mid-thirties with medium length dirty blond hair, wearing a fitted lab coat rounded the corner but had stopped stunned at seeing Five.
"Impossibile..." Delores whispered and suddenly turned around and headed quickly into an 'authorized personnel only' labeled door.
Five couldn't explain it, the way her eyes caught the light, the way she stared into him, the Italian, he was sure it was her.
"Wait! Delores!" Five ran and crashed right into the locked door. "I need to talk to you!" Never since his powers were gone had he NEEDED to blink so much!
"I'm sorry, I'm a little sleep deprived, I'm obviously having some sort of mental breakdown right now...Final oral examinations are across the hall three door down to the left.
"I'm not a student! Please open the door!" Five tried to open the locked door again. When no answer came from the other side he thought 'fuck it' and started looking around for something to break the door down.
The moment he saw the heavy extinguisher in the corner and headed to get it, the door lock clicked, making him backtrack and open the door quickly. He stumbled through it accidently pushing her back and making her squeak in surprise.
Once Five straightened up his jaw dropped, it was obviously some sort of large supply room that had been retrofitted into an office/apartment of sorts. It was a long room, and the entire length of the room was covered in 6 huge blackboards completely covered in calculations he recognized as his own, across from them there was a desk, a kitchenette, and on the farthest side of the room partially hiding behind a bookcase he could see the ends of a wooden futon bed set up for sleeping.
"You live here?" Five asked walking deeper into the place following the equations.
"It's easier this way." Delores said in a small voice blushing.
Once he got to the last blackboard he turned and gaped as he saw the back wall of the bed covered in charcoal portraits of him, in several different ages from 13 up to his 58-year-old self.
"How?" Was the only word he could get out.
Delores walked slowly towards him, almost like approaching a wild animal. "It's all I see when I sleep; faces and equations...your face?" She asked searching his eyes carefully.
"Impossible..." Five whispered.
"l'ho detto" (I said that) She said softly smiling, eyes wet with unshed tears.
Five gasped he KNEW it was her, it made absolutely no sense, but there was no doubt in his mind THIS was Delores.
He took her face in his hands reverently. "Angelo mio, sapevo che eri reale" (My angel, I knew you were real)
He leaned in to kiss her hard, lips tight, like a child would think passionate kissing should be like. She pulled back shaking her head.
"No, wait you are a child, this is wrong, I need to sit down." She sat on the wide armrests at the foot of her futon, looking down to the floor obviously trying to sort out her ideas. "I don't even know your name."
Five was startled but had to agree with her in needing to talk first and sat down next to her. "I really don't have one, you can call me Five..."
"Five..." She repeated softly looking at him.
He smiled. "Delores the truth is, time travel can exist, you are actually unbelievably close, I used to be able to do it, you were my wife for over 40 years in a different timeline, and I'm actually over 60 years old. That is my real face." He said pointing to a charcoal portrait of 58-year-old Five.
"You are from the future?"
"Well...A future" Five clarified.
"Why do you look so young?" She asked caressing his face almost subconsciously.
"Because of this equation right here, I didn't get the logarithm right. It took me back to the body of the age I first traveled." He said with a harrumph.
"Did you lose memories when you reverted back?" Delores asked curiously.
"No." Five said almost bitterly.
"Then why can't you kiss?" Delores asked genuinely curious.
Five visibly paled.
Delores saw this and frowned. "Listen...The only reason I'm even entertaining the possibility that this is real is because I can't deny I've seen your face nightly in my dreams for too long, and that the whole basis of my academic career has been cracking these equations which pertain to time travel. But if I sense any type of bullshit from you, I will call for security to come escort you out of the building and ban you from ever entering again."
"You were a mannequin." Five blurted out.
"Excuse me?"
"In that timeline I was part of 43 children born with powers on October 1st, 1989, I could teleport through space and somewhat through time, my brother Viktor, who used to have powers back then but not anymore, caused the apocalypse on April 1st, 2019. Everyone in the world was dead, except me since I had jumped from 2002 to 2019 after the fact. I found you in the rubble...You've always been a fighter." Five took her hand and kissed her fingers. "We had a life together, we worked on these equations for 45 years, until the Handler appeared to recruit me to be an assassin for the Commission, an organization focused on preserving the time-space continuum which ironically turns out I create later in my life. We got separated after that. A lot of things happened my siblings and I stopped apocalypses, plural, and the universe ended up resetting 5 years ago to the point those 43 children never existed, and my siblings and I are now powerless. I began seeking out time travel as a regular human. Which led me to your research."
"So, I've been experiencing an echo of an alternate universe where I was an inanimate object that you had feelings for..."
Five took her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. "I know how it sounds...you were alive to me..."
Delores placed her hand on top of his gently. "You may be right...I have dreams...memories...of moving on my own, younger, before an explosion happened while I was in a department store. I remember my parents warning me to avoid a symbol as a child, an umbrella?"
Five's eyes widened, he let her go and looked down thinking before looking at her again. "You were probably one of the 43...Do you remember having a power?"
Delores closed her eyes "No, but I have seen it thousands of times, in my dreams, the explosion changed me, my body...I couldn't move anymore."
"Spirit possession?" Five asked mostly himself.
"Maybe I could transfer my consciousness after my body perished?" Delores said staring at the blackboard.
Five gently stroked Delores's cheek making her look into his eyes. "I never in my wildest dreams thought I would find you as human. Fuck time travel, if you'll have me, I only want to be with you."
"That may be complicated, you look like jailbait." Delores said laughing.
"This body is roughly 18 and my IDs say I'm 21." Five said cheekily.
She choked out a laugh. "You always drink too much." She said voice full of emotion.
His jaw dropped and he lunged against her mouth once more pressing his closed lips forcefully against hers. She pushed away softly giggling.
"Seriously! You are a terrible kisser, what have you been doing for the past five years?"
He scoffed. "Apparently finding you, and besides I'm not about to accost underaged girls just because I'm going through puberty again, I'm not some pedophile."
"But me being more than 20 years your junior is acceptable for you?" She asked laughing.
"Or almost 20 years my senior, whatever makes it easier for you." He said smiling.
"Wait, so you're a 60-year-old virgin?!" She asked surprised it took her so long to realize.
"Technically." He said with a sigh.
"No wonder you're so wound up." Delores stood up, she went over to her dresser and pulled out a small cloth bag she put in her lab coat, "Give me your jacket, get comfortable." She extended her hand for his jacket.
Five looked up bewildered, he stood up slowly and proceeded to give her his jacket. He then started loosening his tie as he followed her with his gaze.
She walked towards the door, she hung his jacket neatly on a coat-hanger next to the door, she opened the door, and she said: "I'll just be a minute I need to use the bathroom" before stepping out.
Five listened and after a couple of minutes he heard clicks that told him she was locking up her lab. He smiled and continued rolling up his sleeves, his tie was loosened, and he had unbuttoned his top shirt button. When she came back, she had shed her lab coat and was left in a black tank top and black leggings that hugged and showed off every curve of her body. She hung her coat next to his jacket before locking that door as well.
"Can't have someone walking in on me sharing a glass of wine with a teenager in my office now, can I?" She asked cheekily.
She headed to her kitchenette and bent down to pull out a bottle of Bordeaux.
Five was entranced by her backside, he could feel the traitorous pull of his hormones begin to wreak havoc on his psyche, he suddenly found himself behind her, hands on her hips as she was plunging the corkscrew into the bottle, he began travelling his hands slowly up her waist pulling himself closer and pushing her hair aside so he could pepper her neck in soft kisses.
Delores's breath hitched, her progress on opening the bottle momentarily halted.
"Can I miss something I never really experienced?" She asked melting into him.
"Need help with that bottle angelo mio (my angel)?" He asked smiling against her shoulder.
"I can do it myself if you don't distract me!" She said pushing him back playfully with her butt.
Five smiled stepping back subtly rearranging himself and putting his hands in the air in a sign of surrender.
Delores turned to him and pulled the cork off with a loud pop proceeding to pour 2 glasses of wine.
She handed him his wine glass.
"What shall we drink to?" She asked looking at his darkening eyes smiling.
"To second chances." He said.
"To second chances." She repeated.
They clinked glasses and Five proceeded to slam back his glass, muttered "Mmmm mmhmm" wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, placed it on the desk and proceeded to take off his tie placing it next to his glass.
"You even drink wound up, relax" Delores said after a sip.
"I'll relax once I'm fully spent between your legs." Five said looking predatory as he started unbuttoning his vest.
Delores' jaw dropped "Wow." She paused pulled in a breath, pondered for a second, shrugged, and said nonchalantly "Fine." She slammed back her remaining glass and left it on the counter. Before she turned towards Five and took his hand pulling him towards the bed.
Five was grinning like an idiot, he was looking up at the plain white ceiling, laying on Delores' bed, arm behind his head. He never thought he'd be this happy, ever. Delores was sound asleep curled into his chest wrapped around his arm. He stared at her sleeping face and kissed the crown of her head inhaling the coconut scent of her shampoo. He thought about pinching himself but if this was a dream he did not want to ever wake up. This was all he wanted. Even after a full afternoon of fucking he couldn't seem to be able to sleep. He tried closing his eyes but the memory of the feel of her skin under him, her breasts, her lips, her soft wet insides, immediately made him hard again. He rolled her over on her back gently and began kissing her neck and fondling her once more.
"Again?" Delores asked smiling sleepily.
"Yes, please." Five said smiling.
"You really do have a teenager's body." She chuckled and guided him inside her once more making him moan.
"As much as you need amore (love)" and she proceeded to sweetly kiss his hair.
Her alarm was very unwelcomed. Five growled at it. But Delores stood up and quickly put on her tank top and leggings before grabbing a shower caddy, a towel, and a change of clothes, and heading outside. By the time Five started to regain consciousness the delicious smell of freshly made coffee wafted around him, and he could see Delores sitting on her desk working on her computer through the books in her bookcase.
Her hair was still damp, and she brought her mug to her lips with her left hand as she moved her mouse and clicked with her right. The sun shone through the window giving her in Five's opinion a heavenly glow. He couldn't believe his luck as he sat up and stretched, still grinning.
He pulled on his boxers and walked sleepily towards her kitchenette pouring himself a cup.
Delores looked up and smiled "You finally looked relaxed."
"I feel relaxed, probably for the first time in my life." He took a careful sip and smiled, he leaned down and kissed the top of Delores' head affectionately. "This is fantastic by the way." He said pointing to his coffee.
"Columbian, a student gifted it to me."
She cleared some space on her desk and pulled out an extra chair so Five could sit next to her. "There's some fruit in the fridge and... oh, here, I made this for you, I imagine you're starving." She reached behind her monitor and pulled out a sandwich cut in triangles on a small plate and handed it to him.
Five thanked her and took a big bite. His eyes fluttered closed as he processed the taste. "Is this a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich?" He asked rhetorically with his mouth full.
"Is that weird? I had a hunch, it's weird right? I can make something else." Delores stood up, but Five shook his head and pulled her back down, he completely annihilated the sandwich.
Delores was a little shocked.
Five finished chewing with the help of his coffee." It was perfect, it's my favorite."
She smiled relieved.
Five stood up and picked her up princess style to her surprise, placing her back in the bed as he pulled off his boxers again.
"Five, no, I have to work, my students are going to start coming into the lab soon, I'll smell like sex." Delores tried to reason as Five pulled off her pants and underwear.
"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." He said smiling as he pulled off her shirt.
Delores pouted "Only if you promise me, you'll help me with my work."
Five laughed "I promise."
Delores sighed "Just be quiet if you hear someone come into the lab."
"Scouts honor."
"You were a scout?"
Five laughed "No."
"Dr. Dee?" A grad student knocked on her office door softly. "I have some questions on the instructions you emailed us."
"I'll be right out" Delores said from inside.
The student turned back towards his station but couldn't help hear scrambling inside.
Once Delores came out, she seemed fine yet slightly flushed.
"Are you okay Dr. Dee? You seem...off." Andrew asked concerned.
"What? No, I'm fine, just a little sleep deprived and a little too much coffee. What's your question about the email?"
"Oh, well, I know I'm just building a part of the system, and that we're not supposed to know what it's for because of the patents and everything, but if I could just..."He trailed off as he saw Five stroll out of Delores' office in his suit pants, shirt untucked, cuffs rolled up, and Delores' backpack exiting the lab...Dr. Dee never let anyone into her office.
"Andrew...Focus" Delores snapped.
"Yes Doctor" Andrew continued with his explanation.
Andrew was still troubleshooting with Delores when Five came back 30 minutes later hair obviously wet and headed inside her office like he owned the place.
"Who's that guy?" Andrew asked concerned. "Is he allowed to be in there?"
Delores played it coy. "What the kid? He's the new IT guy I hired; can you believe it? I told him he looks like a high schooler, but he's the real deal, his going to be helping me a while with the setup up in my office and a bunch of coding I need for the project to work. He's been at it all night, apparently doesn't know when to call it a day."
Andrew smiled relieved. "Oh, of course, that makes sense. Take it easy on him Doc, I studied computer science too, in case he needs a break, I can help you out."
"That won't be necessary Andrew." Five said loudly out of nowhere, placing a hand on Delores' shoulder making her jump, he was sipping on some coffee. "Dee, are you done here? I need your take on some...wire management preferences."
"Dr. Andrew Li." Andrew said standing up stretching out his hand to Five.
"John Smith...Doctor?! What are you still doing here?" Five said shaking his hand with barely feigned hostility.
"I'm getting my PhD in Physics; first one was in Engineering." Andrew said smiling brightly. He was very tall and handsome, he looked younger but Five estimated he must of been in his early thirties, no wedding band.
"Dr. Li here is helping build a part of our project." Delores said trying to calm Five down.
"It's an honor to work under Dr. Lores." Andrew said beaming towards her.
"I bet it is...Dee?" He said clenching his teeth.
"Right. All good here Andrew?" Delores asked in a hurried tone.
"Uh...Yes." Andrew said confused on the dynamic he was watching.
"Let me know if you have any trouble." Delores said quickly barely through her closing office door.
The second the door closed Delores went to her computer and cranked up Vivaldi to muffle out the sound.
"What was that?!" She whisper-screamed to Five.
"He's obviously trying to fuck you." Five said pointing accusingly towards Andrew's general direction.
"Five for God sakes!" Delores said exasperated.
"Unless he's already fucking you." Five said looking slightly unhinged.
"NO! I've never slept with any of my students in my life!" Delores whispered-screamed again.
"Does he count? 'Cause he's technically closer to an employee at this point." Five said petulantly.
"I've never slept with any of my employees either, it's unethical." Delores said offended.
"Well, that is until now, since I'm your IT guy apparently." Five said snarkily.
"What am I supposed to say Five? That high schooler is my husband from another timeline?" Delores said pleadingly.
"Another universe, technically. But yeah, I AM your husband. How many Andrews am I competing with for you now?" He said squaring off to her face.
"It's not a competition amore (love), sono solo tou (I'm only yours)." She said caressing his face between her hands lovingly.
"That's right!" He said angrily holding her chin.
"How about you use all this competitive energy to help me with this problem over here." Delores pulled him towards her computer showing him a schematic. "Andrew couldn't solve it."
"You're damn right Andrew couldn't solve it." Five said crotchetily sitting in front of the computer and zooming into the image.
"Dr. Dee?" Andrew knocked two weeks later, on Delores' office door.
"Andrew!" Five came out the Delores' office shutting the door behind him in crocs, sweatpants, and a T-shirt that Andrew could have sworn he saw Delores use when she would go on a run. "She's resting right now. Poor thing...These all-nighters have been hard on her, you know?" Five said with a tone that made Andrew pictured knives covered in saccharine.
"Mr. Smith, you're still here? Don't you ever go home?" Andrew said less courteously than he intended.
"What can I say? I get hyper-focused when I get this invested in something." Five said cockily.
"I admire your drive." Andrew said sincerely.
"Was there a point to your knocking?" Five asked snappy.
"Ah yes, could you give this to Dr. Dee when she wakes up? It's the prototype she asked for."
"Sure." Five said grabbing the small box and shutting the door in Andrew's face.
Hours later Delores woke up, she was sore and still tired, but she knew she had to keep going, she was so close.
She sat up in bed, it was completely dark outside, she looked between the books of her bookcase towards her desk and saw Five's face bathed in the telling blue glow of a working briefcase. She couldn't help but smile, tears almost flooding her eyes. "We did it." She exhaled.
She almost sprinted towards to Five, watching him solder the last pieces together.
"I can't believe we were able to build it this fast." Five said with wonder. He turned and almost absentmindedly handed Delores a cup of coffee.
Since it was lukewarm, she gulped it down, before saying. "Well, I've been kind of working on this design for the last 5 years."
"Fair." He said taking her hand and kissing her knuckles.
"We just need a casing." Delores said excitedly. She pulled out a sheet of paper and she started sketching the briefcase exterior, writing down every little spec and measurements needed.
Five smiled seeing her entranced.
"I still have no clue how to make the operations bunker, though." Delores said under her breath smiling to herself.
"What?" Five said surprised.
"What?" Delores paled "... I said that out loud..."
Five stood up panicked knocking his chair down in the process. "How do you know about that?!"
"Shit...Five I need you to listen."
"You're from the Commission, aren't you? You're not really Delores...ARE YOU?!" Five said loudly.
Her face warped into pure anger. The pencil in her hand snapped in two. "Oh I am... In every possible way it counts I AM!"
"What?" Five was confused.
"SIT DOWN FIVE!" She turned and screamed frustrated towards the sink. "AHHRGHH!"
He picked up his chair and sat facing her looking uneasy. "Where you sent to kill me?"
"WHAT?! NO! I'm trying to help you create the damn Commission! Your daddy dearest is fucking up the whole damn world and you weren't doing it yourself!"
"But how? Everything was destroyed in the reset." Five asked more to himself than towards Delores.
"You almost had it yourself Five, I WAS born October 1st, 1989, I WAS in YOUR TIMELINE! I was a well renowned physician in that life. I DID transfer my consciousness to a mannequin by mistake when I died. I WAS trapped in that body with YOU for 45 YEARS! Remember what happened next asshole?!" Delores looked unhinged.
Five gasped. "I left you..."
"YOU LEFT ME! In Dallas, in 1963, in a shitty motel room. Handler came and got me, she had a field day destroying me piece by piece, and when she slowly crushed my head, I was finally able to transfer into the only recently dead thing I could see from underneath her stiletto. A COCKROACH! I was so disorientated, I have no Idea how long it took me, but when I finally was able to understand my surroundings again after what felt like an eternity the Commission started to freeze and collapse and I scrambled around trying to find somewhere safe to hide. I found a sector that was mostly intact outside a sort of vault."
Five gasped.
"Ringing a bell?" Delores asked bitterly.
"You entered the Operations Bunker with us."
"I was so small you didn't see me clutching on to your pant leg hiding in between the seams." Delores said with her eyes closed. "I knew I shouldn't let you go so I rode with you back to the hotel. I entered oblivion the second I could, I knew the answer was there. When everything turned into a machine, I saw your powers drain." She seemed drain by the story and leaned on the edge of her sink. "I woke up in an elevator in the middle of a park, I was alone, but I had my old body back."
"Just like Sloane and Allison." Five said under his breath. "Why wouldn't you tell me that from the beginning?" Five asked pleadingly.
"Because I was stuck, and I needed your help. I needed you to finish this and didn't want to scare you away with the truth." Delores said defeatedly.
"You haven't scared me." Five said lovingly.
"Maybe I'm about to..." Delores said looking him straight in the eyes. "Five, I don't love you...I've never loved you that way. I wasn't your wife for 45 years I was your hostage. You don't know me, I'm a full person, I have my own needs, I have a temper, I have opinions. You've only known me as a mute mannequin who only very occasionally managed to transfer flashes of my consciousness to your brain. I remember EVERYTHING, unlike you, I couldn't be a belligerent drunk and use sleep to make my days seem shorter...I've been faking my feelings these two weeks to get you to create the Commission and get the hell out of this timeline."
"Why would you do that?" Five asked crying.
"Because despite everything I care for you, I hoped maybe you'd moved on these past five years, but you were so love-starved I felt bad for you." Delores said pained.
"We made love!" Five tried to reason.
"We had sex. Bad sex at that, you fucked me the same as when I was a mannequin, you forget there's another person with you, you're a selfish lover and a lousy kisser."
"SORRY I'M NOT AS EXPERIENCED AS ANDREW!" Five yelled bitterly.
"THERE'S THE OTHER THING! YOU ARE JEALOUS, POSSESSIVE AND CONTROLLING!" She yelled back.
"Well, you are a pedophilic whore!" Five spat out like venom.
"Get out! I will not tolerate you any longer, go find your siblings, I'm using that case in exactly 30 days. If you've gotten your head out of your ass by then and can see me as your goddamned partner instead of your property, we can get along. If not, I will leave on my own and start the Commission by myself."
Diego and Lila had just managed to put little Stanley to bed (yes, they named him in honor of the other Stanley), when a they heard a crash outside their door. Followed by a series of muffled expletives.
"What the?" Diego muttered, before opening the door together with Lila. "Five?"
Five was sitting on the floor, looking down, swaying.
"Don't you dare let him in like that. He stinks." Lila said pinching her nose.
"She dumped me." He muttered almost crying.
"Get him to the shower!" Lila snapped quickly at Diego.
Diego and Lila stripped five to his underwear.
"Wait in the hall." Diego told Lila before taking his bothers boxers off.
"Like I'd get a kick at seeing his little boy dick? It's probably the same size as Stanley's." Lila muttered in the hall.
Diego managed to sit him in the shower, but Five started slapping away when he turned on the water. "Easy Five! Relax! Can you manage on your own?"
Five seemed to perk up a bit. "Yes."
"Good, I'll make some coffee." Diego said closing the curtain. He picked up his clothes and gave them to Lila while he headed to the kitchen.
"I'll throw these in the washer." Lila said disgusted.
"Don't you dare! That's dry clean only." Five yelled from the shower.
"I'll throw it in the trash then." Lila yelled back.
"Lila, you think we have anything that could fit him?" Diego asked from the kitchen.
Lila smiled wickedly and left.
Five emerged half an hour later from the bathroom in a T-shirt that said, 'Bad Bitch', and some Hello Kitty pajama pants.
"I'm so happy." Lila said grinning.
"Guess I deserve that." Five said toweling his hair.
"Who dumped you?" Diego asked.
"Delores." Five said sadly sitting down.
"Fucking hell!" Diego said shooting his hands up.
"Ha ha ha, I told you! Pay up!" Lila said to Diego smugly.
"FIVE! Come on! You're a good-looking kid, you can't keep going back to mannequins!" Diego said passionately.
"She's real." Five said dryly.
"Yes, Five she's real, like Santa Claus is real to Stanley, it's all in your brain." Diego said condescendingly.
"No, you condescending idiot, she's real, she has powers like you and I once had, she can transfer her consciousness into anything once she's dead." Five said exasperated.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Diego said holding 3 fingers up in front of Five's face.
Five flipped him the bird in response.
"Five, even if that were true, how could she possibly be alive in this universe? We were the only ones of the 43 to survive the reboot." Lila asked.
"Handler picked her up in Dallas and destroyed her in the Commission. She managed to transfer into a cockroach and snuck into de Operations Bunker with us. She hitched a ride to the oblivion with us and came up the elevator in her original body alone."
"Just like Sloane." Lila said under her breath.
"How did you find her?" Diego asked hardly understanding.
"Amazingly it wasn't that hard. She published a paper on theoretical time travel. She wanted me to find her, she convinced me to help her create the briefcases, she wants me to create the Commission to skip out of this timeline."
"Is she hot?" Diego asked cheekily.
"Diego!" Lila scolded.
"Yes, if you must know she's very attractive." Five said rubbing his eyes.
"Did you boink her?" Diego asked shamelessly.
"Arghhh!" Lila yelled frustrated at her husband.
"What?! He's been hung up on this broad for almost 50 years and now she's real and has a working cooch..." Diego tried to explain himself to Lila.
Five covered his eyes with his hands and groaned.
"OH! You DID boink her and ruined it didn't you?" Lila asked pointedly.
"Can we not?" Five pleaded.
"HA! That means YOU owe ME!" Diego told Lila.
Lila swatted Diego away. "What did you do?!" She asked nosily.
"If you must know she said I'm a lousy kisser, a selfish lover, that I'm jealous, possessive and controlling and that for the 45 years we were together she wasn't my wife, she was my hostage, and that she never loved me." Five deadpanned.
Both Diego and Lila made a pained shocked face.
"I'm getting the booze." Diego said standing up suddenly.
"He doesn't need it!" Lila said after him.
"Lila! The man's hurting!" Diego said dead serious.
"Leave it, she also said I was a belligerent drunk." Five said depressed.
"Oh? I'm liking her more and more." Lila said genuinely.
"I just thought that maybe this was it, that for some kind of cosmic fluke I got everything I wanted even if it made no sense. Hell it happened for Allison. But no, at the end of the day I'm just an asshole that never deserved her." Five said moping.
Lila thought for a second than sat back down in front of Five. "Well have you seen it from her side? She was a 30-year-old regular woman..."
"Doctor" Interrupted Five.
"Doctor! Even worse... Then the world ended, she wakes up in a mannequin unable to move or speak and is effectively turned into a 13-year-old pisspot's sex doll for the next 45 years!"
"I'm amazed she didn't straight up murder you." Diego said hands full of liquor and glasses.
"Then she had to restart her life again, with all those memories, knowing full well she needed your sorry ass to escape this fucked up reality, even though you are a whiny, unstable, little bastard with a hard-on for her." Lila continued.
Five groaned and laid down on the couch in the fetal position turning his back to Lila and Diego.
"How long after you met her did you fuck her? I'm guessing ten minutes...Please tell me you know what foreplay is?" Lila continued talking. "That poor sore woman, how long did she tolerate your horny arse, before telling you to piss off?"
"Two weeks." Five said muffled against a cushion.
"She deserves sainthood." Lila said seriously.
"Five you gotta take care of your girl first." Diego said pleadingly.
Five turned back around to face the ceiling. "Yeah, it seems I royally screwed the pooch on that one." He sighed heavily. "Anyways, what's done is done." He sat back up and faced Diego and Lila. "She's made it quite clear we are just to be business partners from now on."
"Wait what?" Lila asked confused.
"We got the briefcase running, and we're leaving in 29 days, so get your things in order." Five said pouring himself another drink."
Lila put her hand impeding him from pouring his drink before speaking. "She's got the working briefcase and gave you a month to gather us up?"
Five looked up to her confused and annoyed. "That's right, I doubt we should tell Allison and I'm still on the fence on getting Ben from Korea..."
"You still have a shot!" Lila said pulling his glass back all together and standing up.
"Excuse me?" Five asked irritated.
"She could have straight up left your arse, and make the Commission herself, but instead she's waiting for you to get your dysfunctional family together? She doesn't hate you." Lila said excited.
"Yeah, she mentioned that." Five deadpanned again.
"Five, I don't hate you either, but I sure as hell would rather pluck out my own eyes than have your bony ass jackhammering me raw." Lila said emphatically.
Five eyed her, frowned, and said: "Likewise."
Diego spit-laughed his booze out.
"My point is that if you work on that crummy attitude, get some proper sex education, and actually put an effort to get to know this woman, she may eventually give you a shot." Lila said tired.
"Go get her back Five!" Diego said sipping his booze.
"As I already explained I have a month to gather up the others." Five explained it like he was talking to Stanley.
"We'll do that, you go woo your girl." Diego said encouragingly.
"Better yet Diego and Stanley will do that, while I give you a proper romantic boot camp to win her over." Lila said with her mind made up.
"What?" Diego asked panicky.
"That sounds entirely unpleasant." Five said cringing.
"He's potty trained, it'll be a daddy-son road trip" Lila said soothingly caressing Diego's chest.
"Please don't let me alone with her." Five said pleadingly to Diego.
"I'm a fantastic trainer, I got Diego to stop leaving the toilet seat up." Lila said matter of factly.
"That's because you pulled out one of my nails whenever I forgot!" Diego said forcefully.
"You see? Fantastic trainer!" She said looking a bit mad.
"I'm going to regret this..."
Next day after eating breakfast Lila and Five said goodbye to Diego and Stanley.
"Ok Five, let's see what you got." Lila handed him a big Rapunzel doll with long hair braded in a messy braid.
"You let Stanley play with dolls?" Five asked looking at Rapunzel questioning.
Out of nowhere Lilia tased him.
"Motherfucker!" Five said loudly.
"You see? This is exactly the kind of misogynistic bullshit we need to pry out of you. 'Cause God forbid Stanley grows up actually knowing how to braid his partners hair." Lila said waving the taser wildly.
Five was rubbing his sore arm. "Women like that sort of thing?"
"Yes!" Lila said as if it were obvious.
"Klaus used to braid Allison's hair." Five said remembering.
"And I'm betting he's the first one of you lot that got laid." Lila said emphatically.
"Well, that isn't an indication of anything, he casts a wider net that the rest of us." Five said obnoxiously.
Lila tased him again.
"Fuck!" Five grunted.
"That's homophobic and you're slut shaming your brother. You're just jealous." Lila said severely.
"What do you want me to do?" Five asked defeatedly picking up the doll.
"Kiss her."
Five groaned.
"She's your type, inanimate." Lila said grinning.
Five gave her a death stare.
"Look I need to see what I'm working with!" Lila tried to reason.
Five stared at the doll, he gave a deep sigh and closed his eyes, he pictured Delores and proceed to make out with the doll.
"Oh my God!" Lila was bent over laughing uncontrollably.
"I HATE you!" Five said fuming.
She wiped tears from her eyes, as she calmed down. She messed his hair making him swat her away.
"By the end of this you'll name your first born after me, you little shit." Lila said smugly.
"Dee there's a messenger at the door for you."
"Thank you, Elsa" Delores signed for the package and was handed a beautiful box full of white tulips inside.
"Uh-oh, White tulips? Who fucked up?" Elsa asked over her shoulder.
"Elsa!" Delores scolded her lab manager.
"Oh! So, he still has a chance!" Elsa said excitedly. Elsa was a short chubby, firecracker that just wanted love for everyone.
"Quiet Elsa." Delores said smiling pleadingly.
"Is it the IT guy? HE WAS CUTE! A little young in the face but had a very strong presence."
"Who's cute?" Andrew popped his head from around his station.
"Dr. Dee's has a secret beau that's trying to make amends for something." Elsa said bubbling.
"What!? Who?" Andrew asked surprised.
"I'm thinking it's the IT guy." Elsa said playfully.
"Mr. Smith?! NO!" Andrew said wide eyed looking from Elsa to Delores and back.
Delores just smiled at her underlings. "Get back to work you two, I'll be in my office." She locked the door behind her.
Elsa was whispering to Andrew now. "I'm pretty sure I heard them having sex once I came in early. They played it off saying they were moving around furniture laying down cable...yeah right, more like laying pipe if you ask me." Elsa said grinning.
"He's too young for her, isn't he?"
"He told me he was 21. That's legal everywhere Andrew." She said matter of factly.
Delores meanwhile inside her office took out the card and read.
Delores, I'm an idiot. Leave your lights on tonight if you can tolerate hearing my apologies in person once everyone is gone.
5
"Hi Delores." Five said standing in front of her door looking immaculate in his 3-piece suit again.
"Hello Five. You're more than 3 weeks early." Delores said crossing her arms, she was wearing a simple black dress that made Five's heart skip a beat.
"Yeah, I'm having help rounding up the gang." Five said bashfully scratching the back of his head.
"What do you want Five?" Delores asked seriously.
"I want to apologize, and to get to know you better. Would you like to go to dinner with me?" He asked nervously.
Delores thought for a second. "Only if it can be as friends."
"Of course." Five smiled.
They sat in one of the outside tables of a little bistro talking away.
"I interviewed each once separately and turns out my whole lab is interested in the creation of the Commission, everyone wants a chance at a better time-line." Dolores said sipping her lemonade a little worried.
"Perfect, we're gonna need all the help we can get, and what's better than competent talented people that can already build briefcases." Five said sipping on his wine.
Delores looked up surprised "You don't mind all of them coming? Even Andrew?"
Five smiled "I don't, really. I'm sorry, it took me some work to get there but now I realize, I'm deeply insecure and I was a jerk. I understand now that only you can choose who you want to be with, I can't force you, and it would be wrong if I did. I'll be happy for you no matter who you choose, even if that isn't me."
Delores gaped. "That's very mature of you Five, thank you."
"So, you don't actually drink?" Five asked curious.
Delores smiled. "No, only the very occasional Bordeaux."
"Why?"
Delores thought for a second. "It's a control thing, plus 'dad' was an alcoholic, so it brings back bad memories."
"Sorry to hear that." Five didn't finish his wine that night.
"The Italian?" Five asked casually.
"That was me, my family was Italian, it was my first language, and since I could only talk to you when you were on the verge of death...I revert back to the mother tongue when I get emotional." Delores said a little flustered.
"The name?" Five asked raising his eyebrow.
Delores chuckled. "Mostly fake."
"Mostly?" He asked confused.
"D. Lores, pff please, that was a blatant scream for you to find me, obviously." She said smiling.
"What is it really?" He asked curious.
"Maria Vigna Nera." Delores said in a thick Italian accent.
"Nice to meet you" Five said stretching his hand.
She took his hand and shook it slowly watching him. "Call me Delores, after almost 50 years I've grown to like it."
"Are you sure?" He asked skeptical.
"Yeah." She said smiling softly.
"Can I take you out again tomorrow?" Five asked like he did after every date.
"Sure."
"Goodnight Delores"
"Goodnight Five"
He kissed her hand and left.
"The sequins?" Five asked sipping a milkshake.
"I hate sequins. You can only use them once and then they start falling off." Delores said smiling.
"Really?!" Five said almost spitting his milkshake.
"Yeah" Dolores took a sip of her milkshake. "But for you I may make an exception."
"Can I take you out again tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Goodnight Delores."
"Goodnight Five'"
He kissed her on the cheek and left.
"Remember that time with the snake bite?" Five asked sitting on a blanket in the park.
"I was so worried about you." Delores said looking up at the stars.
"I was actually happy I could hear you so clearly." Five said looking lovingly at her profile in the twilight.
She met his gaze and smiled. "That's because you were dying dummy. I was trying to calm you down."
He stretched his hand and grazed her fingers ever so lightly. "You called me amore (love) for the first time that night."
"I did." She said staring at his hand, she turned her palm and intertwined their fingers.
"...so, Lila gave me shock therapy...quite literally. She tased me for close to a week."
They both laugh walking along the park hand in hand.
"Well, it shows." Delores said squeezing his hand.
"She also gave me some pointers on kissing." Five said letting the words hang out there.
"Really?" Delores asked almost challenging.
Five stopped and looked towards her, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "May I kiss you?"
"You may." Delores said in a whisper.
Five gently placed his hand on her neck and jaw caressing her slightly parted lips with his thumb before closing the distance. His lips brushed gently hers, soft and pliant, while his hand still caressed her cheek, jaw and neck and his other hand caressed circles deliciously on her hand, making her want to squirm. His nibling lips and tongue made her moan and before she knew she had desperately pulled him in. He responded in kind tongues softly caressing, hands now traveling hungrily from her hips to the sides of her torso, to her hair, nibbling her lips, her jaw, her ear lobes, her neck.
"Did she give you pointers for anything else?" Delores asked breathlessly as he attacked her earlobe.
"Tons..." He whispered gravelly in her ear, before nibbling it.
Delores pulled herself harder against him, kissing desperately whatever she could reach.
Five moaned into her ear before saying. "If you'd like we can go back to my place to show you...I'm in a nice hotel with room service."
"You had me at 'tons'." Delores said breathing heavy.
"What do you think about children?" Five asked nervously while they laid on his bed in the afterglow.
Delores felt boneless, so she took a second to turn and respond. "That's a little soon don't you think?"
"It's just Lila asked me if we were being careful..."
"I use a diaphragm." Delores said smiling.
"Oh...That's why you said we didn't need the condoms." Five said relieved.
"You thought I wanted a baby?" She said smiling towards him.
He turned to see her and took her hand. "If you'd wanted it, I would never deny it to you."
Delores laid back down and smiled contently. "You're so stupid...maybe one day...By the way, you are going to have to give me Lila's address so I can send her a fruit basket or something."
"Wait, when did you put it in? I don't remember..." Five asked fearing maybe she forgot.
"What? The Diaphragm? Before our date." Delores said matter of factly.
Five sat up and stared at her smiling. "And here I'm thinking it was because I'd been so smooth...You'd already made up your mind."
"That's right." Delores said smugly.
Lila, Diego, Stanley, Klause, Viktor, Luther, Sloane, their toddler Jayme, Ben, Jennifer, Allison, Ray and Claire where all sitting together in a big Chinese restaurant discussing about their close departure to a non-specific time and space, to create a new better timeline for their futures. Klause and Viktor were even excited about the possibility to have a second chance to pick up Dave, Sissy and Harlan from the past. Five came into the restaurant hand in hand with Delores pleasantly surprising everyone.
"Hi family, we wanted to invite everyone to our wedding tomorrow before our departure, it'll be a small gathering in Delores' lab since all her team is joining us to help out with creating the Commission." He said beaming.
Everybody stood up and started crowding them with congratulations and introductions.
Lila congratulated him and gave him a tight hug before she asked him with a concerned face. "Even Andrew?"
Five smiled. "Yes, even Andrew, he's not half bad when you get to know him."
"It's a pleasure meeting you all." Delores said to all the Hargreeves' and company.
"She IS hot." Diego said earning him an elbow to the ribs by Lila.
"We're just so happy you're not made of plastic." Sloane said suddenly. Making everyone laugh.
"Lila, Five told me what you did for us, so I was wondering if you would be my Maid of Honor." Delores asked Lila directly.
"And Diego if you could be my Best Man." Five quickly added.
"Yes!" Both Diego and Lila said in unison high fiving each other afterwards.
Lila walked towards Claire and leaned in conspiratorially. "Claire honey, you're 13 now, right? You can babysit your cousins, Stanley and Jayme, while your auntie Lila and uncle Diego take everyone out to celebrate tonight, can't you?"
"Sure, auntie Lila." Claire said smiling.
"Five you got your fake IDs with you right?" Ben asked half-jokingly.
"Guys, I'm not drinking tonight, I want to be all there when I say I do." He said turning to Delores and giving her a chaste kiss making some of the other aww.
"Come on! We can totally carry you down the aisle tomorrow." Luther said jokingly.
"Delores, do you have a dress?" Allison asked excitedly.
"Yes, it's a white sequin cocktail dress." She said smiling cheekily at Five.
"Wait, who's officiating?" Viktor asked suddenly.
"Klaus do you still remember the spiel from your cult days?" Five asked hopeful.
"Absolutely! Please tell me your song is Nothing is gonna stop us now by Starship!" Klause said clasping his hands jumping up and down excitedly.
Five laughed. "Are you sure you wanna join this circus?" He asked Delores in fake embarrassment.
Absolutely.
The End.
