I wrote this in about a half hour and that will probably be evident when you read it. LoL. But I had to set it free.

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He'd been hiding out in the locker room for God knows how long. He's been dressed for an hour except for his jacket and cap but can't bring himself to put them on.

She'd been watching her statue still husband from the door for the last five minutes, sitting on the hard bench with elbows to knees, head down and arms dangling. When it was evident he wasn't going to be moving anytime soon, she finally sat next to him, mimicking his posture.

He acknowledged her presence with a resigned sigh but didn't sit up or look at her.

They were quiet for another minute before she gently broke the silence…again. They'd already had numerous versions of this conversation since it happened.

"I'm sorry Jay, I know how much he meant to you."

He took a breath and shook his head.

"Ya, no…I don't know. My feelings are so twisted up when it comes to Voight."

His mind spun through all his thoughts on his sergeant…former sergeant, landing on sadness this time. He swallowed hard practically choking on the knot in his throat.

"He was more of a dad to me than my own dad. That's not really saying much but it's the truth…Voight…I loved him…he believed in me…let me know it…that I was worth something. Didn't hide it in a drawer like my dad."

She stayed quiet knowing he had more to say.

"But then…everything else…"

She sat up and he followed turning towards each other in synchronicity.

He couldn't talk for a moment and she could see the rage flood his face as he sucked in an angry breath, "…Al, you, Anna, Matt…I should hate him. I do hate him. But…"

Rubbing his face in anger or despair, maybe both, he let his head drop back, "…shit…"

"He got us all out of some jams, fuck ups, in one way or another…too many times to count for me…"

Glancing at her for a moment then away, he shook his head in disappointment, in himself, in Voight, "…and put us in just as many."

They are quiet for a moment until his face twisted in anguish as he met her eyes, "Jesus Hailey. I couldn't save him…I tried….but…God…" he scrubbed his face, then fisted his hands on his thighs. "I really thought I could…I thought he would help…try…let me protect him from himself."

She cupped his cheek and he leaned into it, relishing in the comfort, the understanding, he so desperately needed right now.

"I know Jay. But Voight was going to be Voight no matter how many times or how hard he tried to be someone else."

His eyes filled with tears and he rubbed them before they could fall. Voight didn't deserve to have them fall, but that notion brought more tears as his anger flipped to the heartbreak of losing his father figure.

"Ughh, Jesus…My fucking heart has whiplash."

He tried to smile at his joke but it's as far from a joke as you could get where Voight and Jay were concerned. She understood why he was struggling and it broke her heart.

When they finally got up, she helped him into his jacket then buttoned it as he stood silently in front of her watching her hands…her wedding ring as she twisted the buttons into place.

He stopped her before the last button and took her left hand and held it over his heart, thumb brushing against her ring, "I love you Hailey…" he smiled through new tears, "…so so much."

She looked up from their hands and gazed into those soft eyes that held so much love but so pain and confusion right now, "I know. I love you too…always."

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The pictures floating around Twitter of the guys in their dress blues and someone else's comment hoping Gwen kills of Voight started my brain clicking on this.

Thanks for reading and stay safe peeps!