It was another night. The twolegs were asleep and a gray cat laid in the backyard thinking about all the moons past and everything life had given, and taken, from her. As she got up in age she found herself doing this kind of thing more and more often, burning moonlight rummaging through her thoughts and through days that only became harder to recall with each new moon and tonight her mind wandered to her first and only litter. A frequent occurrence.
Her kits Ruby, Socks and Tiny.
Quince felt a pang in her heart at that last name.
"Tiny…" she whispered to nobody.
The feeling was nothing new to her. It occurred whenever she thought of him, the pain had become more manageable as the years dragged on, but she had never been able to fully forgive herself for his disappearance. She was so happy when Ruby and Socks had gotten adopted. The shock when she found out Tiny was nowhere to be found gave her spirit whiplash. And with such a small kit, a housekit no less, running to what she assumed was the forest she knew deep down that she'd never see her son again. At least not alive. But even after all these years she had never admitted that to anyone, especially not herself. She was so entrenched in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear the sound of another set of paws crawl through a particular hole in the fence.
It was only the sound of the cat's coughing that snapped her out of her daydreaming.
Sitting in the grass her eyes focused on the hole in the fence. A black tom crawled through. The first thing she noticed was his collar, filled with dog teeth she immediately turned to run to the safety of her home. But then she noticed all his cuts, his weak limp and labored breathing. Death followed this cat. He was no threat to anyone, not in his current state.
She debated offering him some kind of assistance at least to ease his suffering. But then the tom looked up. The two locked eyes in an instant and time came to a stand still as they did. Quince felt her heart stop, she had seen his one white paw and shrugged it off as a coincidence but those soft blue eyes. There was no way this could be real. This couldn't be…Tiny? This battered, dying tomcat was not, COULDN'T BE her long lost kit.
Quince was wide eyed as the tom stared her down, Scourge's thoughts carried their own brand of shock as he gazed upon the one feline who had shown him any kind of love in this world. He didn't know why he was surprised to see her, this was their home after all, but when he walked through the fence he was only half conscious of what he was doing.
'I-is this what I've been walking towards this whole time?' he thought to himself. He didn't even realize but a single tear had begun rolling down his cheek. He felt a pang of guilt, appearing before his mother in such a dire state. At least his presence gave closure. Something that he felt she deserved in full.
"M-mom?" he mouthed, the word nearly inaudible if not for the silent night atmosphere.
Speaking, even as softly as he did, took a lot out of him; he hardly had the energy to hold himself up as is, his legs may have dragged him here but that was their coup de grâce. Standing just a few paces from the fence Scourge felt like just another step would kill him, even so he made an attempt. Lifting one paw he felt a sharp pain, his legs immediately gave way as he fell once again.
"TINY!" Quince shouted.
She rushed over to his falling form. It had been so long, how many years had passed? she had lost count of the days since he had disappeared. She wrapped her front paws around him just in time to stop him from hitting the ground. His face firmly nestled in her bosom.
"oh tiny" she whispered.
Tears began to well in her eyes as she held her son. She could tell the world had not been kind to him and the pain she felt seeing her son in this state was immeasurable. She felt a similar helplessness as when she first discovered Tiny had gone missing.
With no other option Quince could at least make sure Tiny knew how much he meant to her in his final moments.
"I love you, Tiny"
Quince repeated those words over and over as she held her dying kit. She had no idea what had happened to him over the past few years and she'd probably never find out. She'd never know of scourge or of bloodclan, tigerstar, the war, any of it.
Not that it mattered, even if she did know she'd still love her Tiny.
Laying in his mom's grasp, Scourge was completely defenseless. But it didn't generate the same feeling of fear and danger it had when he was a kit bumping into tigerstar. No right now Scourge…
Scourge. Was there even a point in going by that moniker anymore? The tom couldn't find one.
He was no longer leader of Bloodclan, there were no more plans of grandeur.
And with that realization, right now Tiny felt like the safest kit in the world. And in the warmth of his mother's embrace the ice in Tiny's veins melted for the first time since he had let the cold seep in and as one eternity ended and a new one began Tiny greeted it with a smile. Whatever came next he knew he'd greet it not as scourge ruler of bloodclan and bane of the forest. But as Quince's son. Her kit. Tiny.
"I love you too, mother" Tiny said in between labored breaths.
The words tore at Quince's heart filling it to the brim yet breaking it at the same time. She'd give anything for just one more day, just a few more moments with Tiny. But she wouldn't let him know her pain.
"I'm..so…tired….mom"
"I know you are sweetie and it's ok, you can rest all you want mommys here" Quince said softly as she gently stroked her son's fur. Tears threatened to stream down her face but she quickly blinked them away. She'd be strong for him as it seemed he'd have had to have been for himself for far too long.
Inside Tiny's head he reminisced on those days that he'd thought he had long forgotten, all his problems seemed so distant now as he did, even his own imminent death seemed like only a minor inconvenience. And all he could, all he wanted to focus on was how warm his mother's touch felt, how the cool grass felt even softer than that of the forest floor and certainly softer than the hard pavement of the city. How this night felt like those wonderful summer nights when he was a kit wondering what would be up in the stars if he could reach them.
He could stay like this forever. Just resting, his mom by his side as he napped just like when he was a kit.
Pretty soon Tiny closed his eyes, the silence of the night only broken by the occasional draw of breath from the black cat, each pause in between breaths an eternity for Quince. And as each breath came later than the last it was only a matter of time until quiet reigned supreme and Quince felt her son's body go limp, his head resting on her chest with a soft smile on his face.
With her son no longer here she felt she could now cry herself, it was a mix of pain and joy. The cruel irony of getting to see her son one last time just for him to die in her arms wasn't lost on the gray feline, but the smile Tiny had on his face told Quince her kit was at least at peace. It was the small silver lining that said her son's suffering had come to an end.
"Rest now Tiny, mom will watch over you" she whispered.
And rest Tiny did, ready for a long, good and dreamless sleep.
The End
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!
Aside from this being a concept I've always fawned over, I also drew inspiration from "Scourge's Last Breath" by Sunnypelt. Even using the last line to reference their story. So definitely give it a read!
