- Chapter 6 -

The look in Rhodey's eyes was still hard as he pinned his younger brother with his gaze. He motioned to the still smoldering remains of the kitchen. "This was unacceptable, Anthony. Do I need to go over who lives in this house and how this could have profoundly affected them? We can discuss this while we're moving out to the patio if you need to." He stood up and dusted the ash off his jeans. "If not, then we'll go sit on the patio; have burgers and beers; talk this through. We'll work out the contingencies and play with some responses for future incidents." Then I'm going to talk to my sister-in-law and begin getting her straightened out, since you won't. An emergency exception can be made at this point. A small sigh preceded the thought, More paperwork.

"I don't, …no." Anthony stared at his brother, shaking his head a little. "She told you? About that?" He didn't think she would, not after the argument they just had. He didn't know how Rhodey knew. He hadn't said anything. Loki had no seidr whispers to give her thoughts away. Jarvis wouldn't say something about it spontaneously. None of the kids knew. He always finds out! Why am I still trying? Anthony seriously wondered if it was worth it trying to hold onto the things he was doing that he was certain Rhodey would dismantle if he found out. His older brother was going to find out. A stabbing throb went through his head as the dark voice hissed angrily at him before retreating again. No! I'm.. We're so close. Just a little more and Asgard can have what it deserves. You still want that. I still want that. Rhodes won't stop us. Don't let him.

Let it go, idiot. Rhodey leveled a hard look at Anthony whose eyes were darkening slightly. Now is not the time for this. This wasn't a helpful subject. However, it was a subject he wanted to talk to Anthony about but not one his younger brother wanted to talk to him about. Gently prodding and probing through conversation was normally enough to get any of his brothers to talk to him. Not on this subject though. Rhodey took a breath and kept his calm. "You don't know how many friends I've lost to suicide. They were loyal airmen, soldiers, sailors, and marines. They went to this war or that action for their country. They came home; smiled and said they're so happy to see their families again. Then they turned their weapons on themselves. It happens in their homes, in front of their families, in front of their kids. I'm one of the ones left behind. I know what the signs are, and Loki has most of them. I don't know how many times she tried, but I know it's more than one by a couple."

I can compensate for that, was his immediate thought. Even Anthony knew it was a bad impulse. Or I could just talk to him. Nervousness filled him. Only a few seconds of consideration were given to his options before he made his choice. If I'd known that I would have been compensating for it years ago. A strained and guilty look crossed Anthony's face. This was a bad subject that he'd vigorously avoided for years. Rhodey already knew the 'what, where, when, who and how' of the event. 'Why' hadn't been talked about yet. It was honestly the most important detail. Why was the keystone of the event that he was still hoping to be able to ignore hard enough for it to go away. His gaze fell to the floor taking his common sense with it, "I didn't know that. You didn't say anything about that. The military is probably different anyway, than civilians. It's probably not useable data outside the military. Probably wouldn't be ..substantiative." Ok, a little nervous but that wasn't so bad. I can work with that.

.-.-.-.

More than once?! How did I not see this? Thor felt nauseous all over again. The guilt felt like it was flowing through his veins thicker than his blood. Little Brother, why didn't you come to me?

A cold, dread filled shiver worked its way through Frigga. Terrible shock colored her thoughts. She wanted to think that what the mortal said just couldn't be right, but Frey already said that he knew how many times and she didn't. It gave her a dreadfully surreal feeling. Frigga hoped that maybe they weren't truly speaking of her Loki. This can't be right …

Why?! Odin held tight to Frigga's hand. He couldn't understand why his youngest son would do it once. More than once was inconceivable. His son should've come to him if he was so unhappy. More than that, he should've seen that Loki was unhappy enough to do that. There was never anything but calm in Loki's seidr, nothing to give away that his son felt like that. He wanted to turn around and demand answers from Frey right then and there. He pursed his lips. This still wasn't the place for that kind of argument.

So, that's how. You know the scars it leaves on a person which means you can observe the actions those scars cause and track them back. You see more than you let on. That was very useful for Frey to know. He did wonder though why this brother-in-arms was looking at Anthony as though he'd turned green and revealed himself to be a Skrull. That seemed like an ominous look.

.-.-.-.

"Substantiative? Why would I need to substantiate anything? Unless you're going to try to reframe things." Something approaching anger chased through Rhodey's thoughts before he put it back in the place he kept for the irritation and anger at the dumb things his younger brothers did and said. Glaring at Anthony for a second didn't alleviate the irritation at what he was trying to do. Alright, no more pussyfooting around this. I guess it's time to find out why. "Or are you going to try to lie to my face?"

No, no, this is bad. Very bad. Anthony stared at his older brother with an awkward look on his face. An age old urge popped up from the very back of his mind. The impulse jittered along his nerves. It's a bad idea. I shouldn't do it. I don't want to do that.

The sudden tremor shaking Anthony was subtle but noticeable to one who knew what he was looking at. "Anthony, don't you try it," Rhodey's voice was low with the warning it carried.

Both of Anthony's hands clenched into fists while the urge spread through him. Pursing his lips, he tried to remind himself, It'll just irritate him more. I shouldn't do it. Why am I doing this? He hunched down some as his body prepared. Howard chimed in from his memories. And if the prey sees you, …sees you, …sees you …

"Don't try it!" The warning in his voice transformed into an outright order. It was futile. Unfortunately, the only person who could stop this with words was gone. If he hadn't known better he would be disturbed that his younger brothers not only still did this but that he was the only one they did it to. As it was, he understood. Rhodey was one of only two people left that they trusted enough to be so open with. "Anthony!"

The well-worn urge finished its trip through him removing every thought but the single desire. He'd been spotted. It was time to … RUN! Anthony turned swiftly and ran out of the kitchen towards the front door.

"Get your ass back here!" It only took Rhodey a few strides to catch up with his younger brother, grab his arm and haul him back into the kitchen. Sweeping his younger brother's legs out from under him as he stumbled backwards sat Anthony down hard on the floor with an awkward squeak.

.-.-.-.

Did he just run from his brother-in-arms? Frey's eyes widened a little further when his nephew-by-law was manhandled onto the floor again. What's wrong with Anthony that he's allowing this? Something was very wrong for Anthony to be so passive around anyone.

A little sigh slid unhappily out of Pepper's lips. You know that doesn't work. Why do you keep trying? More than that she didn't know why her former lover ran from Rhodey at all, he was just trying to help.

.-.-.-.

After he knelt down he gave Anthony a look that nailed his brother to the spot. It was one of the hardest looks he'd ever given. It was followed by a finger pointed in his younger brother's face. Despite that, his voice was soft. "I already know what happened, Anthony. Of all the people on this planet, did you really think I wouldn't know?" Rhodey's voice hardened even more. Still glaring, he stood up then.

Nervousness and guilt flooded his eyes. Anthony didn't want to have this conversation now or ever. As usual he'd talked himself into doing what he didn't want to. The sudden retreat was already being as studiously ignored as this subject previously was. "No! Rhodey, I didn't try to ..." His older brother glowered down at him. "It wasn't like that!" He pulled his seidr in a little tighter to try to keep his guilt from seeping out. It didn't help since he was never very skilled at hiding things from Rhodey. Why do I keep trying?!

"Three empty bottles of the world's strongest whiskey on the floor, all downed in less than two hours. Two puddles of puke with time visibly between them, the second one almost completely alcohol. You by yourself, passed out cold and barely breathing on the sofa, and it's not like that?!" the irritation in Rhodey's voice at his younger brother's foolishness was rising.

Nervousness filled his thoughts again. Anthony reached for the most plausible excuse he could find. "It was an accident; it wasn't like that!"

"Who do you think you're dealing with?" Rhodey growled. When Anthony only looked up at him with an expression of poorly feigned innocence he sighed heavily then put a hand over his eyes for long enough to regain his calm. When he had it back, he crossed his arms over his chest and patiently asked, "Who taught you about alcohol poisoning? How it happens, what the dangers are and where it leads?"

With eyes wide in an expression that thoroughly admitted to having been caught, he stared resolutely ahead at the remains of his kitchen counter. Fuck me. Rhodey had given him so many lessons over the years that Anthony couldn't immediately bring all of them to mind. Since so long had passed with him using the lessons, he was the first one to admit that he took many of the earlier lessons, things that taught him how to act like a normal human being and be safe doing it, for granted. They were so well practiced. "You did," he said quietly.

"Hm, and when did I teach you how to be safe with alcohol?" he asked next, patience still filling his voice. The anger and pain in remembering finding one of his brothers dying again didn't leak out into his seidr.

The ruins of something he'd rebuilt repeatedly were all Anthony could see. "When I was a kid," he answered in a quieter voice.

Looking down at his very silly brother Rhodey asked, "Hm. 'It wasn't like what I thought it was.' 'It was an accident.' Were those statements incorrect?"

Closing his eyes, Anthony let his chin rest on his chest. "Yes."

.-.-.-.

Silence reigned in the conference room. Natasha tilted her head slightly to the side and thought, I'm not surprised.

A quite layer of shock covered Steve's thoughts. Suicide was something he thoroughly disapproved of. He particularly disapproved of one of his teammates doing that. Murder was despicable. The murder of oneself was tragic. He couldn't understand why it happened. Tony wasn't a man to give up, not ever. Steve sighed quietly again. After they'd freed Tony, he was going to try to convince Director Fury to get Tony into counseling. He understood that the quirky engineer had problems. This was still too much to let him handle alone.

Small tears silently fell as Pepper struggled to maintain composure. She remembered finding Rhodey trying to get Tony ready to go to the hospital when the ambulance arrived. He was unconscious in the living room, on the sofa. Jarvis called them before calling emergency services. It happened just after Tony was rescued from Afghanistan. She remembered the empty bottles of whiskey that were scattered around the floor. Never once did she consider the possibility that Tony was actively trying to commit suicide. The very concept felt at odds with former lover. As painful as it was, it didn't surprise her that he dealt poorly with his feelings. Getting him to constructively deal with his feelings was a battle she'd waged many times but never won. I'll have to do better, she thought.

Anthony, you tried to drink yourself to death? Death by alcohol wasn't certain, nor was it indicative of anything but a desire to not feel anymore. He was keenly aware of that. I didn't see this. Frey disliked that revelation almost more than knowing that Anthony tried to harm himself. Making an attempt on his own life seemed like something extraordinarily out of character for his nephew-by-law. The man Frey knew was strong, determined and had a great enjoyment of life. Above all else, Anthony never gave up. Even faced with terrible odds, Frey had never once seen him stop trying. This wasn't something that was a long time in coming. It couldn't be, he thought. Frey couldn't see how Anthony's personality would've allowed for it. It had to be something done in the heat of the moment. He wondered what was so bad that it drove someone like his nephew-by-law to do something so terrible. At least Rhodes found him and took care of him.

It didn't take long for Frey to decide to speak to Anthony on it. He would do what he could to make sure that Anthony was well. There was still a particular sorrow at the thought that his nephew-by-law was so hurt that life no longer held any appeal. Frey smiled softly. They'd only known each other for a few years and had a terrible beginning. Despite this, he genuinely cared for the mouthy Midgardian. His nephew-by-law was a good man. He was family.

.-.-.-.

"Thank you for telling me. Now I need you to tell me why you did it and what kept you from coming to me before you did it," Rhodey's voice quieted in pain. Dealing with the injuries his brothers inflicted on themselves hurt him as it hurt them.

A fleeting grimace crossed Anthony's face before he said, "I don't know." This was the exact discussion that he wanted to avoid. The more sensible part of him knew that there was no getting out of this. Rhodey was too observant and relentless to escape this discussion. He was still hoping to put it off for another year or two.

More irritation crossed his face at Anthony's answer. When he felt the garnet of his seidr flaring in his eyes he looked away from his younger brother. Only after the flare of irritation was contained did he look back down. "You know why you did it and you know why you didn't say anything beforehand. I'm getting tired of you lying to me, Anthony. Answer my questions, please."

"I'm not ly…" was as far as Anthony got.

"Who do you think you're dealing with?!" he snapped at his younger brother again. Anthony looked like he was about to protest but Rhodey wasn't having it. "Don't lie to me! I know you far too well. Did you suddenly forget how long I've known you? Besides the principles we were taught, do you need a reminder of that too?"

"Thirty-five years! More than half our lives we've been together; side by side; step by step; facing whatever came our way. I've been there when you needed me! You had smoldering, bleeding 'reminders' that needed bandaging because Howard was a bastard? I dealt with that. You needed a place to hide from the old monsters? I gave you that. You needed a friendly face in class and a way to not get expelled for showing up your teachers? I provided that. You needed to learn how to drive your new car? I taught you that. You needed training in how to treat a lady properly? I coached you in that. You needed to go to a weekend rehab or be bailed out of jail discreetly? I made it happen. You need a house to crash at that's not yours? I give you that. You have a crisis, a dilemma, or an urge to chat? I'm there. You're down for the count and need someone to handle things? I handle it! You make a mess with your wife, with the Avengers or SHIELD? I come fix it!" Rhodey tried to keep his voice at least in the not-yelling range even if it was higher than it should be. "When you need someone at your back who you can trust in a fight. I show up. This has always been the agreement! You're honest with me and I make things happen."

"Like now," Rhodey motioned to the house. "You came to me and said you needed help protecting your wife and little treasures. I should be getting ready for my retirement ceremony, but you said you needed help, so here I am." The garnet shimmer of his seidr briefly flashed his anger in his eyes before it was contained again. He continued to remind his younger brother of how close they were; of how Anthony not coming to him was always a mistake.

Putting his hands on his hips, Rhodey took a breath before continuing. "There hasn't been a single time when you needed my help with a problem and didn't ask for it that you ended up with a positive resolution. You know that! I don't know what was going through your head, so you're going …" His eyes narrowed as he caught a glimpse of a particular expression come on his younger brother's face for less than a second. There were several very specific sets to his younger brothers' faces that he'd learned to look out for over the years. Each facial set had its own particular meaning. It told him in general terms why Anthony didn't come to him. Have I been right all these years? Is this really it? Closing his eyes, he stopped to take a deep breath and pull in his irritation further before looking down again. "I saw that."

Straightening out his legs came before Anthony bent his knees until he could lean forward on his thighs to wrap his arms around the tops of his knees and bury his face in them. "Of course, you did," came his muffled reply.

.-.-.-.

The simmering red glow in Colonel Rhodes' eyes both concerned and interested Director Fury. It wasn't the pale blue from the scepter. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't like that.

The red flaring in the man's eyes was clearly loose seidr which caused Odin to frown at the screen. No Midgardian had seidr. He looked like an angry dwarf to Odin. A Dvergar mage angry with his son was far more concerning than a mortal for the fact that a Dvergar mage could very easily give Thor a hefty thrashing. He frowned at the screen then decided to pull his son aside when they got home. Having Thor learn the hard way that angering a mage was unwise wasn't something Odin wanted. The boy should've known better already, but he was going to make certain of it.

Surprise widened Frigga's eyes. That was red seidr she was looking at. It was loose, but there. Looking over him again, this made him seem more like a Dvergar than a Midgardian. How a Dvergar got to Midgard was a curiosity. At least he seemed kindly disposed towards Thor. Frigga was still going to speak with her son to remind him of the dangers of angering a mage.

Three and a half decades. Anthony was a boy when you met. Were you a dear friend and companion before you went to battle with him? That might explain some of why he is allowing this treatment. While the majority of the details about this man were missing the details that Rhodes provided about himself were as interesting as they were upsetting. Two things were obvious though. The first was that Anthony and Rhodes lived their lives closely. That was interesting for Frey since it made him feel better about allowing this man to be near his family. The second was that there were more things in his nephew-by-law's history than he realized. Some of them sounded unpleasant and he wanted to know what cause his nephew-by-law had to be in a Midgardian dungeon. What 'old monsters' there were also interested him. Did any of this contribute to Anthony's rage? A vicious anger sparked in his chest to think that a good man like his nephew-by-law was abused by his own father. Frey knew that had to be part of the ever-burning rage that his nephew-by-law carried with him everywhere. He was keenly aware of his nephew-by-law's omnipresent anger, as well as his disturbing self-hatred. They were wounds he wasn't able to heal. Since the day they met he'd been trying to get a handle on that powerful rage. He thought the scars causing the rage and hate stemmed from just after he met Loki, not before. Unfortunately, neither his nephew-by-law nor beloved niece were overly willing to discuss the past. His nephew-by-law mentioned once in passing that his older business ventures were inherited from his father, Howard Stark. That was as much as he was ever willing to discuss the elder Stark. There were parts of his history that Frey's nephew-by-law was embarrassed to discuss. Previously the curious monarch had a hard time understanding why Anthony always carried a seething anger and an odd embarrassment for his father. There'd seemed to be no reason for it. He could understand it better. The knowledge that his nephew-by-law had that kind of childhood easily enlightened many things Frey witnessed. It particularly explained his nephew-by-law's firm stance that hitting children as discipline was vile no matter the circumstance or softness of the blow.

.-.-.-.

Sitting down next to Anthony, Rhodey put an arm around his younger brother's shoulders and pulled him closer. In what he said next he was careful to keep an even tone. The offer was always fair, but not always accepted. "It hurt that you did that; that you chose alcohol over coming to me. It hurt that you didn't come to me when you brought Loki home; that you found yourself in a situation where you spent too many hours mopping Loki's blood up off the floor. What happened to both of you hurts me," Rhodey's voice darkened just momentarily, "and that you didn't come to me distresses me." A little shudder went through Anthony. His point was made so he evened out his voice again, "But, if you tell me, right here, why you did these things then I'll let go of that distress and hurt. Once we've figured out where you went wrong and I fix things then you'll never see them again, I promise. I just need you to tell me; what were you trying to protect me from, Anthony?"

.-.-.-.

Sharp surprise tinged Frey's thoughts again. That one comment was enough to tell him that Rhodes knew more than he did. Mopping Loki's blood up?! He made certain to keep his expression calm and his seidr pulled in achingly tight. You'll tell me everything now, like you did before, whispered through his thoughts again. The surprise gave way to a painful jealousy. Anthony trusted Rhodes with the truth of what happened to Loki. She allowed this. He couldn't see it happening any other way. "It just went away," he could hear her saying. Frey knew that she lied when she said it. He knew it as he sat there as well. The same painful shame ached in his chest that had for several years. The same two wishes popped into his mind as they often did when he thought it about it. He wished that they'd come to him sooner. Also, he wished that he could prove himself enough that they would trust him with what happened. Truly, he just wished to be able to prove himself worthy of regaining the trust he'd lost. He took a calming breath. Frey quickly decided that he needed to speak with Rhodes. Since Loki and Anthony weren't willing to be forthcoming with the truth, then he would get it from this brother-in-arms. If he knew what happened, then he hoped he could understand why they wouldn't trust him with it. If he could understand that, then he could go about fixing whatever it was he was continuing to do wrong. There was only so much he could fix without details. Frey wondered if he could then go about beginning to stem the tide of Anthony's vast anger. With the details Rhodes could provide he could go about peeling back the anger to find the wound causing it. Frey couldn't heal an injury that he couldn't find.

Confusion and alarm warred with each other in Odin's thoughts. He thought these men were Loki's accomplices. There being a time when Stark was cleaning up Loki's blood threw off what he thought. He wasn't certain what to make of the situation anymore. He shared a glance with Frigga. She was as confused as he was. Why Loki was injured enough to cause this man to clean up after those injuries was something he wanted to know. Odin was going to find out what they were speaking about when he went to collect his son.

Confusion and unease took root in Frigga's thoughts. With what was just revealed, she worried about why this man might have had cause to clean Loki's blood off the floor. This mortal hadn't concerned her before, but now he did. When she and her husband went to retrieve their son, she was going to question this mortal to find out exactly what they were speaking about.

The guilty posture Stark held lit the first sparks of anger in Thor as he looked at the screen. What did you do to my Little Brother? Sharp suspicion edged through him. A man who he counted as a shield-brother wasn't denying having to clean up his Little Brother's blood just after it was revealed that Loki had tried to take his own life. If Stark had somehow pushed Loki to make an attempt on his own life, then Thor was going to do a little pushing of his own after this was done. Mjolnir would be heavily involved in that.

This wasn't what he expected. Director Fury frowned at the screen. He didn't even know how Loki was injured badly enough to bleed in a significant enough amount to require a mop to clean it up. The Hulk put a small crater in the solid stone floor of Avengers Tower. There was no blood left behind. It was only in the wreckage of a building collapsed by a high-intensity explosion that they found any blood. None of this was right, but that seemed particularly wrong.

.-.-.-.

"There wasn't anything else that I could've done with Loki," came Anthony's muffled response. He wasn't stubborn like his other older brother. Normally when Rhodey offered to forgive him in exchange for some simple honesty he jumped at the chance. Today he kept his face buried in his arms. Shame and guilt scorched alongside the anger perpetually burning in his chest. It managed to cover the embarrassment he was struggling not to feel. They were getting close to what were probably the worst lies he'd ever told Rhodey. He'd been debating with himself for years over telling his older brother what happened, showing him the full extent of what was happening. He already suspected that his older brother knew most of it anyway. It was the fear of what Rhodey might do if he found out that kept him silent. It was getting ridiculous even to him, trying to hold on to these secrets when he'd told his brother everything else.

"I don't want excuses. You've given me enough of those. I need to know what you thought you were protecting me from by not coming to me when you needed my help that badly," he hoped to cut off the waffling excuses from his younger brother before they began. Even after decades of practice it was still difficult not to raise his voice to his younger brothers when he was irritated. As tempting as it was right then, he wanted answers more than he wanted to yell.

Why? Why? Why were you an idiot? His older brother's seidr was also calmly questioning and chastising him. "You know why."

"I have educated guesses and probabilities on events. That's it. You haven't given me definitive answers, but you're going to, aren't you? Answer my questions. I won't be angry with you." Rhodey could sense it. He was about the get the answers about the event that he'd been after for years, and they were probably going to be very close to what he suspected.

Raising his head up again she his voice wasn't muffled anymore, Anthony stared ahead with a miserable expression on his face. "I didn't want to make you clean up that mess, not when you still have scars from ..."... the last time.

This was the awkward embarrassment he was expecting from his younger brother. "None of those scars slow me down or stop me. How many of your messes have I cleaned up after those happened?"

"Too many," Anthony's gaze drifted down while his head stayed up.

"How many times when you were injured and needed medical care was I there for you, scars and all?" came Rhodey's next question.

"More than too many." Anthony knew where this was headed. This was part of why he felt so foolish for trying to hide it.

.-.-.-.

Am I watching you tend to Anthony now as you have before? The care was a little heavy-handed. Frey preferred a gentler touch yet had to acknowledge that his nephew-by-law was responding shockingly well to this. It prompted him to calmly assess Rhodes which led him to the conclusion that he was probably a genuinely decent man. He was quite pleased by what he was seeing. He'd listened to many tales of this man from Anthony and hadn't thought much of them. There was much Rhodes could tell him about his nephew-by-law, not just the dark days. Not the least of the knowledge this brother-in-arms held was how he was chastising, manhandling, and forcing discussion while keeping Anthony calm. Frey wanted to know how he managed that. However it was done, his nephew-by-law having an honorable man in so close a position was excellent. Up until that point he'd accepted Loki's assurances that Rhodes was suitable to be considered family because he was the closest thing Anthony had to family. It pleased him to know that his nephew-by-law was taken care of while he was on Midgard. He was still going to pull his nephew-by-law aside and try to speak with him on these things. Frey wanted to be certain for himself that any old wounds were healed.

.-.-.-.

"In any of the messes I've cleaned up, did I ever give you the impression that I was done helping you, because if I did then I'm sorry. That was never my intent," the older man's tone gentled as he extended his soul song of stillness more forcefully. The song was only as strong as a Calm Heart Spell, surer but slower. As it had been many times over the years, he wished that he could extend his songs at full power. It just wasn't possible yet.

There was pain plainly audible in Rhodey's seidr that Anthony was ashamed to have put there since that was what he wanted to avoid. It was enough to dampen his desire to continue trying to keep these last secrets. It was the worst of the worst; the one that would get him hit. It was the one his other brothers would completely understand, and rightly condemn. For a moment he thought that the project for Asgard might get him hit as well, then he discarded that thought. If he could tell Rhodey then his brother wouldn't hit him, just the project. A bitter little sigh slipped out of his lips. How am I supposed to tell him? How am I supposed to keeping hiding it? He always knows. Does he already know that I didn't wait? I'm an idiot. Another bitter sigh let loose before he opened his mouth to let loose what he could. "I didn't want to make you clean up that mess, but I didn't know what to say. There was so much wrong," Anthony spoke quietly. "I just didn't how to say it." A semi-shrug passed. Better this than telling him that I was impatient again. But I'm always impatient, he knows that. Best to just get this out. He's gonna try to make me talk to someone who isn't one of us about it, he thought morosely. Another person to scare off. "The illusion in the mirror died in that cave, Rhodey, in the dark. Everything I built, everything better you all helped me to be was burned down, washed away. There was a Stark left behind. Howard's voice was so loud in my head. It went with the fire in my chest. I can't put it out. I didn't know who I was anymore. When I came home, and it all seemed so silly. All the press conferences, the media, the company, even Pepper worrying over the things she always worries over. It was all silly when compared with the things that are out there. You helped me to forget what's out there for a while, but after that I couldn't anymore."

Ok, this is all what I expected so far. The older man listened patiently with a supportive expression on his face that urged his younger brother to talk more.

For a moment Anthony stopped, unsure of whether he should continue. When he looked at Rhodey he knew that in that moment, face-to-face with his older brother, it was his own actions that were most ridiculous. "I was standing in the ashes of a life that wasn't mine. At the edges of those ashes I could see beasts prowling. Men like the old monsters used to play with." A shudder went through him at the mention of his familial savages. "In the dark, when that fire lit, I could see them again. The people in that cave made me feel like I was back in the Fifth Avenue mansion." Anthony shook his head, "No bar to hide in. What was worse was that my own reflection looked dark, like theirs, but I was worse. I'm a Stark. I made what they did possible. Coming home made it clear that I couldn't make the pieces fit anymore. They were all broken. Everything was broken again," he stopped and tried to swallow down the emotion bubbling up in his chest. He already knew that he was a worse monster than any of the men who held him captive.

"I didn't want that life, but I didn't want to make you clean up the broken pieces again. I remember thinking that I just wanted to get rid of it." The last of it flowed out of him in one long slow breath. There was relief, almost painful in its sharp clarity. Since he managed to tell Rhodey he looked down, unable then to meet Rhodey's gaze. He was ashamed of his weakness, ashamed of his actions, ashamed of how he'd treated his brother, making him wait to find this out for no good reason. "I'm sorry, I should've said something."

"Thank you for telling me. I'm not upset with you. I want you to understand that." Ok, now for the hard part. There was a particular dread that had inhabited his nightmares for years. It was what he needed to find out next. This wasn't what he wanted to ask his younger brother, or something he was able to before then. His own wants weren't going to stop Rhodey from taking care of his family though. They never had. Lifting his hand from Anthony's shoulder he ran it softly down the back of his brother's head before pulling him close and whispering three short blunt questions in his younger brother's ear. Even though they were alone, this still needed to be handled with as much discretion as possible.

Almost immediately Anthony's eyes widened as he listened to the fear in his older brother's quiet voice. They were nasty questions, but he could understand his brother's concern. He pulled away, shaking his head. "No! I promise, no."

.-.-.-.

The suddenly suspicious action caused Frey to arch an eyebrow. He couldn't make out what Rhodes whispered to Anthony, nor could he discern a reason to whisper. Whatever it was brought about an immediate denial. What cave, where did you come home from, he wondered. Who was there with you? How does this connect to a mansion? What monsters did you come into contact with? What happened to you? This was another thing he needed to speak with Rhodes about. He needed answers for what happened to both Loki and Anthony.

.-.-.-.

The relief that poured through Rhodey was profound. Any of his younger brothers being harmed like that was almost more than he could handle. For a few minutes he ran his hand over the back of his brother's head soothingly. The anger and hurt were packed away to be dealt with later. Anthony's answer was essentially in line with what he thought it would be. There were a few differences; nothing too concerning. When he was ready he moved his hand back to resting on Anthony's shoulder. Rhodey began again with a calm soothing voice, "I understand why you didn't say anything; why you didn't come to me. I'm not angry, this is not me being angry. Ok?"

A single nod preceded a quiet, "Ok."

"Good. I've told you this before, but I know that it can be hard to remember in the moment." Rhodey paused for just a moment before making his next point. It was an old point that was dulled by his brothers' desires to no longer 'burden' him. They were never a burden, and he could never convince them of it. "It worries me and scares me to not know what happened to you. I can't fix anything if I don't know. I can't make things better if I have to guess. You're never a burden when you come to me for help."

A little grimace crossed Anthony's face before he asked, "Can we agree to disagree on that last one?"

As his younger brother's expression soured Rhodey chuckled. "For now. We'll keep discussing it until you understand and agree with me." Another few moments slid by before he decided to press forward again. "It's progress that you told me the truth. I need to know why you didn't come to me when you brought Loki home. You both needed help. I would've been happy to help if I'd known."

As much trouble as he knew he was in, Anthony still instinctively leaned towards Rhodey. It was a habit he forged as a child, to move towards safety. Safety was going to get him into trouble. No, I'm going to get me into trouble. This was exactly what he didn't want to tell his older brother. It was hard enough to show Rhodey what he was doing to begin with, but to have to justify it. There was no justifying what he'd done. It would be even worse once Rhodey got the entire reason out of him. Hot shame crawled across his face and he looked down. Telling Rhodey sooner rather than later was the best option, he knew that with unerring certainty. Unfortunately, he was still so embarrassed and ashamed of himself. He couldn't meet Rhodey's eyes. "I didn't know what to do," it was a poor excuse and they both knew it. There was also a certainty that if he waited much longer to tell Rhodey then what his brother was going to do to him was going to hurt that much more. Maybe if I throw out the project I can distract him from this? Yeah, but then I'd have to tell him about the project. Fuck me.

His younger brother was still trying to hide things. What little he'd pried loose wasn't the last of it. Owing to the embarrassment pouring off Anthony, he suspected that he was right. The childhood his younger brothers survived left them mostly immune to embarrassment or humiliation. They could stroll nude through any major city and be unconcerned. It was only the blatantly and immaturely self-damaging things they did that were able to embarrass them anymore. It was always a detrimental embarrassment that they squirmed away from and into more trouble. Anthony had been squirming for years and Rhodey was getting tired of it. "You know what to do," he spoke calmly. "You come to me. That's what you do. It's not hard, Anthony. You've done it dozens of times before. I welcome you coming to me for help, but you didn't then. I need to know why you didn't. What held you back? Just tell me the truth. I'll get things fixed."

"I didn't have Loki's permission," Anthony said quietly. His voice was even more quiet as he pulled out his oldest and worst justification for anything he'd ever done. "..and I thought I could handle it myself."

I already knew it had something do with Loki. A diversion but still solid confirmation. Rhodey pursed his lips in irritation. "You didn't need Loki's permission, but we'll deal with that." The urge to instantly deride Anthony's attempts at hiding what he did was set aside in favor of dealing with the more immediate frustration. "Ok, I need..."

Interrupting suddenly, Anthony looked over to protest, "That's not how it works, you know that! Even if it was, you know why I couldn't do that." A moment after his mouth stopped moving he realized when Rhodey was talking about. He knows. His gaze fell again. Embarrassment covered him. He was caught with no way out; trapped between having to admit to his older brother why he made the mistake on one side and on the other side the worst mistake of his life. Being sandwiched between them couldn't make him hate it more than he already did. Anthony 's strong sense of individualism made him loathe himself more than anything else could. Even if he ever managed to undo his mistake, the shame of having made it would never fade.

"It was disgraceful behavior, and you shouldn't have done it," Rhodey almost snapped at him. Managing to keep his voice even and supportive was difficult since he was so damn tired of his brother trying to hide things from him. There were too many scars on his younger brother and his sister-in-law that didn't need to happen. They were things he could have prevented if he'd been given the chance to.

"I didn't know at the time, you know that. You know that I would never have agreed to that if I'd known! You know I wouldn't have," Anthony looked up to plead his case. There wasn't much left to plead, and they both knew it. He was caught.

His supportive expression flashed frustration for a single instant before he said softly, "Now there's no way out of it." I can't fix this for you, not yet. It was a chain on his brother that he didn't know if he could ever break. The pain in that thought was brilliant. "You're my brother, Anthony. If you have a problem then come to me. I don't care what the problem is, or what time of the day it is. I really don't care if you're embarrassed! You come to me." Huffing slightly, he leaned over until the side of his head was resting against his younger brother's. "Can you at least try to remember that when 'I can handle it myself' pops into your head that you're supposed to call me? I can start setting up notices again if you need them." A little sigh slipped past Rhodey's lips before he squeezed his brother's shoulder. "You can't be an idiot with your wife."

Another protest died swiftly before it even got to his lips. Anthony nodded instead. He didn't think it was necessary to agree with the obvious; either that he was an idiot or that he shouldn't be one near his wife. "I'm sorry."

"You used to be better at this. Your skills in in have degraded recently, and we need to work on that. If you need help, you come to me," he repeated the lesson again. "If I can't help you then I'll find someone who can. I don't care what it takes," Rhodey added.

"I'm sorry, Rhodey," Anthony whispered. More than just his basic skills had degraded in recent years.

"I don't want you to be sorry or embarrassed. I just want you to remember the lesson and practice the associated skills." The plea in his voice was obvious to them both. Rhodey was never happy when any of his brothers did something dumb without asking for his help. Them doing something dumb that he couldn't fix was particularly bad. The older they got the worse the messes became. Of all his younger brothers, it was Anthony he worried over the most. For of all of his younger brothers, it was the middle one who had the most fuel to burn.

"I can't really go to anyone else on Earth, can I? Not now anyway" Anthony chuckled at that. I should just tell him. Just a little more and I'll have everything out. The heat of embarrassment was still covering his face. At least this is out of the way. I didn't even have to give away my pet project. Hm, I still need to. If he finds that on his own …fuck me running. He let his head fall forward onto his arms again, "I'm sorry I was stupid." I just apologized enough for the next two lifetimes. Get it together, Stark!

.-.-.-.

An intrigued quirk arched Frey's eyebrow. They were speaking of Loki and Anthony's holder's bargain. That type of bargain was only supposed to be a teaching tool to learn what not to do. He knew the specifics of their bargain and hated it as much as Anthony did. It always reassured him to hear that his nephew-by-law hated it. What interested him was that Rhodes described it as 'disgraceful' to Anthony's face without repercussion. It was another sign that Rhodes knew about the dark days and needed to be spoken with. Frey also wanted to thank him for his care of Anthony. He was owed a thanks and Frey paid his debts. More importantly, this honorable brother-in-arms seemed genuinely able to peacefully talk Anthony through difficult problems without any fear of the flames. Any man that Anthony tolerated being chastised soundly by for minutes on end then was willing to repeatedly apologize to in only a few moments was a man Frey needed to know.

.-.-.-.

"Yeah, a real idiot sometimes," he said lightly, in a tone that was forgiving. Rhodey gave his younger brother's shoulder one last squeeze before he stood up, stepped back, and looked at the remains of the kitchen. His hands came to rest on his hips. "Now clean up this mess."

Stretching his legs out quickly, Anthony stood and joined his older brother in taking a look at the destruction he caused. It was an ugly mess that he had no desire to deal with. Talking things through with Rhodey, working on his future responses and hopefully working up enough nerve to admit to what he'd done was much more appealing than ash dusted charcoal. It was a quick decision after that. "I'll clean it up when we're done talking."

With his arms crossed over his chest and a souring look on his face Rhodey said, "No, you won't. You clean this up now." His younger brother returned the unpleasant expression. "Don't you give me that look, either! I'm not the one who married a prank happy God of Mischief. A woman whose house rules include such complex things as 'You clean up your own mess'. I'm also not the one who thought it'd be a great idea to show her 'The Exorcist'." He motioned to the surrounding destruction, "I don't feel like having her mess with my food. I really don't feel like pissin' pea soup for a week." He pinned his younger brother with a hard look. "Again." That was more irritation than he was willing to tolerate at that moment.

.-.-.-.

"Wow, that's just rude," muttered Bruce. While magic was obviously involved, he still wondered how a person could cause that to happen. He stopped thinking about it when he realized that he was starting to consider how food and then urine could be converted into a vegetable soup inside a person's bladder.

A petite frown crossed Frigga's lips again. There was never any proof for her to work with, but she'd always suspected that it was Loki doing something similar to some of the visiting Jarls and their thanes. It was petty behavior and thoroughly unbecoming of a Prince of Asgard. The Nobles of other lands learned to watch themselves while in Asgard. Offending anyone in the Royal Family was a fast way to end up with a short lived but humiliating curse. Frigga appreciated Loki's obvious desire to protect his family, however, suddenly making some rude nobleman wet himself with some vegetable broth truly was inappropriate. She couldn't even imagine where he'd learned such magics from. Those kinds of people weren't allowed to associate with her children.

It wasn't the first time Loki did that to someone. Or the first time Frey taught Loki a mischievous magic. He smirked at that. Hermes, Dolos and Apate taught him some of the most wonderful magics for mischief. Mattugr introducing him to them was one of the best things that ever happened in his life. He smirked a little harder as he thought about Anthony's varying hair colors. Loki always did love a good bit of mischief. It was why he taught her as much as he did.

We never got into that kind of mischief. Steve couldn't help the small smile that crept across his lips. But we might have. Pranks were commonplace in the barracks during his day. They alleviated both the tension and monotony. Even having been the target of several pranks himself, he still couldn't be angry. The laughter and smiles of the young men around him made him feel better. They weren't laughing at him, but with him when it was his turn for a prank. Steve smiled a little more as he thought about how he'd bonded with several men in the Howling Commandos over small pranks. The only thing that made his brows slightly furrow was the curiosity of how what Loki did could happen without making someone very sick.

The smile faded as Steve thought about Tony's personal assistant, Lilith. She liked pranks as well. Her and Clint were always into something mischievous. He hoped that she hadn't been caught by Loki as well. She was skilled at her job, but she wasn't a fighter. She wasn't even tall enough to make a good fighter. He worried momentarily. A woman her size would be defenseless against Loki. She doesn't live with Tony, he reminded himself. Steve hoped that she was safe in Los Angeles or New York. Safe and away from Loki.

.-.-.-.

The pale laugh that bubbled up was enjoyable even if the week it was about wasn't. Anthony could find some amusement in it now that it was a few years later. It was no laughing matter at the time. The week itself was dreadful for both of them. He slept on the couch all week because Loki locked him out of their bedroom. Almost as bad as that was the curses she placed on them that neither could get undone. "That was pretty funny," he observed in pleasant diversion from what he was so recently thinking about.

One eyebrow lifted as Rhodey's mouth tightened into a frown. "How was waking up with a tattoo of Fury's face on your dick, with 'The power of SHIELD compels you' written beneath it? That was pretty funny, huh?"

.-.-.-.

"Oh, wow ..." Bruce couldn't think of anything else to say. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. That was a prank to remember, even if you didn't want to.

The corner of Frey's mouth twitched upwards as he stifled his laugh. It wouldn't do to laugh at the poor mortal at the head of the table. It was tempting, but it would be improper. A Lord had to remain above such petty things.

Crossing his arms, Director Fury sat leaning back into the chair. He just closed his eye and counted to ten. It helped that Stark wasn't in the room. The urge to yell at him had no physical target. That helped contain most of the irritation. The same thought that'd plagued him for years returned. I don't get paid enough for this shit. When he heard a muffled laughed behind him, he whipped his head around to glare at Agent Barton who sat with one hand covering his mouth. His agent was trying unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.

"Sorry, sir." Clint caught the Director's glare and coughed a few times into his hand. It was hard not to laugh since that was a little too close to home. He and Lilith were in the habit of putting children's fake tattoos on people's faces. She normally carried a few around with her so that they could catch agents who were sleeping on duty. Once it was applied the two of them would scamper off, giggling quietly. She even found little fake tattoos that were an 'X' made out of arrows for him to use. Lilith liked to use fake tattoos from whatever children's movie was popular at the time.

.-.-.-.

A violent flinch stopped Anthony laughter. "That was not ok! It was bad enough that she put it there, but then she left it there for a week. That was the worst! He was staring at me, from down there. Ugh, no, not again." He stretched out his hand and let his seidr flicker out of his core. It crawled down his arm to forge into a Restoration Spell. The spell released as a steamy orange light from his hand that encompassed the kitchen area, touching all the broken and burned items.

.-.-.-.

Stark wield the unmistakable orange seidr, like steam made of light that flared into full blown fire. Frigga sat frozen as she watched. This fire didn't destroy, it recreated the missing parts of the broken items it grasped. Scorch marks retreated into the fire as wooden shards came floating back into place. The charring in the wood followed the scorch marks, retreating towards the fire. Whole pieces of wood were burned into existence out of the flames. Jagged bits of metal returned to their original positions and were made whole again. The jagged piece of metal Stark had been holding melted back into the oven door. The shattered stone counter repaired itself, the melting stone bubbling up and outwards into place. The fire seemed almost to bend time backwards, slowly repairing all that was broken. Kitchen items burned into existence from the heart of the flames to place themselves back into the cabinets. It was the most beautiful Restoration Spell Frigga had ever witnessed.

The new power from Stark caused Director Fury to sit up; his undivided attention focused on what he was seeing. He wasn't alone in his sudden focus. That wasn't anything like what he'd seen from the scepter. This was something completely new. It looked like liquid fire but burned nothing. He wanted to say that this was a weapon, but it was being used like a maid service instead of a Mauser. Whatever was letting Stark do this was the weapon. That was what he needed to know more about.

"What the hell is Tony doing?" Clint asked. Tony was one of the most technologically savvy men on the planet. This didn't look like any kind of technology he was familiar with. This didn't look like technology at all.

The fire flowing from Tony's hand had Steve's complete attention. This wasn't something he'd ever seen from his teammate. This was new and alarming. He leaned forward a little to get a better look at it. It looked a little like light and steam, burned like fire, and moved like a liquid, but was repairing and recreating things. This was no fire. This was something else, but Steve couldn't tell what. It was powerful enough to recreate metal, to burn stone into existence. It didn't look like a weapon, but he couldn't tell since he didn't know what it was.

"Husband, do my eyes deceive me? Is he? Can he possibly be?" there was reverence in her quiet voice. It was a simple Restoration Spell, but she never believed that she'd have the opportunity to see orange seidr wielded. Frigga's eyes widened as she realized the manner of ally Loki had. It went from beautiful to alarming very quickly.

"He cannot be. It cannot be. I would have seen this. I would have known," even as Odin said it, he knew that he was more than likely wrong. There was very little chance of it being something else. The most pressing question he had was how he missed this. Every King of Asgard fell into a special slumber from time to time. His father had his Borrsleep. He had his own Odinsleep. Thor would one day have Thorsleep. It came from the covenant between the line of Kings of Asgard and the Heart of Asgard. This slumber was both the price the Kings paid to wield the great might of Asgard, and one of the means they used to stand guard over their people. While the King slept, he was granted limited vision through the eyes of the Heart of Asgard. There was very little the Heart didn't see. Odin couldn't imagine how it would be possible for him to miss the coming of the beast. Its flames and fiery chaos were unmistakable. How many things have I failed to see?

"Father, what is it?" Thor asked, his unrelenting anxiety roiled at it. He'd never seen a mage wield fire like seidr. It would be prettier if it hadn't been coming from Stark's hand. His teammate was a mortal, not a mage.

"It's nothing worth worrying over," Odin continued to watch the recording. There was no point in needlessly worrying the boy over this. He'd worry over it himself.

A smirk touched Frey's lips. Odin was lying, and he knew his brother-by-law knew it as well. There was no mistaking what Anthony was. His flames were unlike anything else.

The sight of the steamy orange fire sweeping over the destroyed space recreating it produced a very uncomfortable gratitude in Odin's mind. This man was possibly a fearsome beast; one who began the recording wanting his son's blood. The dwarven mage with him seemed more honorable and less foolish to him then for saying that they could do harm to Thor but shouldn't. He argued for peace. More importantly to Odin was that he argued for Thor's life and won.

.-.-.-.

Within minutes the kitchen was restored and cleaned. There was no trace of the violent firebombing that left it a smoking ruin. "There we go, all nice and tidy." Anthony was pleased with his work as he fed his seidr back into his core. It was becoming much easier to consciously control his seidr with all the practice he'd been getting. His level of control had grown dramatically in the year since he'd become more. Loki even trusted his control enough to begin letting him practice more Healing Magics. While Anthony was pleased with himself for finally being able to use Healing Magics, he was nervous about Loki wanting to demonstrate them. His wife's hands-on lessons were risking revealing old injuries that she didn't need to know about. Anthony didn't know how much longer he could keep those things from her. His excuses for her not using Healing Magics on him were already running thin. Honestly, he wished that she'd teach Rhodey faster than she was. His older brother could handle things discreetly if only she would. There were many things that could be handled if he could get her refocused on Rhodey from him. It was Anthony's opinion that only Rhodey should use those magics on him or their other brothers. Maybe I could trade the project for less oversight on the scars. I'd have to admit that I was lying. He didn't want to get into more trouble for lying again. Anthony still wanted to go back to a time in his life when he didn't have so many secrets to lie about. It just wasn't an option anymore.

Looking around at the newly returned kitchen brought a smile to Rhodey's face. It was a small smile that equaled the amount of progress towards recovery that Anthony made by telling him a little more of the truth. They were always modest steps when his younger brothers made progress, which was why the progress had to be continual. If he didn't account for their backsliding then none of them would ever make any progress. You told me the truth. There's more, but you still did good, kid. While the kitchen was being repaired Rhodey took the time to make sure that his anger and hurt were properly stowed away so that they wouldn't leak out into anything he said to Anthony. A cup of coffee and a nice history documentary or two would help him deal with them later when he was going over the daily finance reports from all of his brothers. By the time Anthony was done he was much less distressed at the situation. Genuine warmth crept into his smile as he examined the fine detail of his younger brother's work. "I'm impressed. Your Restoration Orbs are nice, but this makes them look paltry. You've improved." The Restoration Orb was his most favorite spell. One orb was enough to clean his entire house, with laundry and dishes, in less than half an hour. Two of them got the house cleaned, the appliances cleaned and repaired, his uniform pressed, as well as his boots and dress shoes shined, and even his car cleaned in his garage. He dearly loved that spell. It freed up so much of his time for more important things.

Anthony inhaled deeply, wiping his face clean as he exhaled. Rhodey's tone of voice told him that while he was forgiven his older brother wasn't done with him yet. They were going to go talk. There was relief in that. "Loki's a great teacher, almost as skilled as you. Someday I'll be as good with the transfer mechanics as she is." A wide smile crossed his face as he looked to his brother, his favorite teacher. "I like that she fits in training time to help me get experience using what I learn from her. It's great that Loki's really flexible about that stuff."

Nodding, Rhodey agreed, "She's an excellent teacher." He was extremely satisfied with what she was teaching him.

.-.-.-.

Loki is teaching them magic?! Director Fury distinctly didn't like the sound of it in terms of the situation. However, he did want to know more about the possibility of humans learning magic. That interested him very much. He smirked. I'll give him a nice, padded cell if he'd be willing to teach my people magic.

Loki teaching Tony and Rhodey magic sounded very dangerous; like it would make it more difficult to free Steve's his teammates from captivity. He didn't like it. They needed to know more about it, about the entire situation.

I was right. It was loose seidr Odin saw in the older man's eyes. Red seidr that no Midgardian should have. These two men were far more formidable allies for Loki than he'd known. He worried slightly about Thor enraging the mage from Nidavellir before setting it aside for a larger concern. While he knew the kind of damage an enraged mage could do this mage didn't want to harm Thor. Strangely, it sounded like he was attempting to mentor Odin's son for honorable reasons. That became somewhat awkward as his mind chose to remind him then of how much more maturely his eldest son had behaved in the last year. What drew his more immediate concern was the kind of damage an orange seidr wielding beast could do. It couldn't be contained. It seemed odd that Loki went out of his way to protect Thor from these men's wrath. With everything else Loki did, it was out of character. The entire situation was becoming far more concerning than he ever thought it would be.

Transfer mechanics? That was an odd way to say that you were giving someone a lesson. Frey wondered if it was because Anthony was a Master Craftsman of Midgard. Loki has taken on Rhodes as a student, she hasn't mentioned this. It occurred to him that Rhodes was supposed to be Midgardian. He couldn't be a Midgardian. He's too skillful with seidr, Frey thought. He wondered then if Rhodes was half Midgardian as he'd suspected. When he first saw Anthony's brother-in-arms, he mistook Rhodes for a mage from Nidavellir. It was only his brown eyes and black hair that made him appear not completely dwarven. He's probably a half-blood. How did he get to Midgard then? Frey wondered if perhaps Rhodes wore a glamour to make himself appear more Midgardian, to hide his true origins. That might explain why the mortals thought he looked so different. Having an honorable man like Rhodes under Loki's tutelage was wonderful, however it happened. It made him better able to defend that which was precious to Frey. This must be one of the reasons why Loki chose him.

.-.-.-.

A lecherous look crossed Anthony's face and he smiled wickedly. A small amount of needling wouldn't get him in too much trouble, so he went for it. "I could just stop at 'Loki's really flexible'." He snickered at the look on his brother's face. Since heavy emotions were flying around this was a laugh he chased after.

With a hand clapped over his eyes, Rhodey grimaced. "No! No, no, no! I have to look her in the eyes, Anthony." Embarrassment burned on his face as the conversation veered off into undesirable territory. He dropped his hands to his hips, "You know the rules! If I have to look them in the eyes then I do not want to know what they look like without their clothes, and I really don't want to know what you do to, with, for, or whatever. So long as it's consensual and safe then I don't care! I don't want to know!" Rhodey gave a sigh of the long suffering. Too many long years of his younger brother doing this had passed. Subsequently, he wished that Anthony would stop. It was embarrassingly juvenile, but only one of them was ever embarrassed by it. "I babysit the kids for you two. I don't want to know what you did to get Loki pregnant! What's wrong with you, kid?"

.-.-.-.

Children! Frigga could barely believe what she was hearing. Loki has children! "Oh, I have grandchildren." She turned to Odin, "We have grandchildren. We have grandchildren!" She grasped his hand excitedly and looked at him with such hope.

Situation presented itself that rarely ever had. Odin didn't want to look at his wife. He didn't want to see the hope in her eyes. His body betrayed him as he turned to look at her. My Grandchildren. Loki's marriage to a mortal man who was no mortal. All of Loki's terrible crimes. Loki's descent into madness and despair that he'd somehow missed. The thought of his son trying to end his own life sent a deep pain cutting through him. He kept his emotions reigned in. There was a degree of difficulty that he hadn't felt in a millennium. He had to keep his usual control of them. He didn't wish to wake the beast sleeping within him. "Wife, we cannot ..."

Pausing the file again, McCorrmick thought, Good thing I have fast hands. The Queen before him was finding out what she could've had; what should've been hers. Very little could be reclaimed since much of it was already lost to her. He would have pitied her if she hadn't had an active hand in throwing these things away.

"Cannot what?" Frigga demanded, annoyed that he wasn't excited about their grandchildren also.

"Loki must be returned for trial, you know this." He kept a level tone. It was his thousands of years of practice that allowed him to keep a calm façade. His stoic mask. Calm was always an imperative for him. Frigga removed her hand from his. The urge to grab her hands, to hold her tightly was almost overwhelming. It always was. She was always his calm in the storm of life. Odin had wished many times that he would be the first of them to die. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. Frigga had long since stopped carrying his heart. She'd become his very heart, so he could no longer live without her.

Something close to disappointment ghosted across Frigga's features before it vanished. "You are called All Father, when will you be father to Loki? Has he not waited long enough for you? He was ill, he must have been. We didn't see," her voice was full of soft reproach. It was a guilty and somewhat bitter thought that her brother saw what she didn't. It was her duty to attend to, not his.

"I have been father to the boy. You know well what I have provided for him! Perhaps we didn't see all that we should have, but this doesn't excuse Loki from responsibility" Odin didn't feel like discussing this particular failure at all, let alone in public. He truly wasn't looking forward to the conversations he knew they were going to have once they returned home. She was going to grab hold of his ear and demand his attention until she had what he could give her. She would even be after him while they were drifting off to sleep. He both loved and feared his wife's relentless nature.

"When will you openly provide him your love?" Frigga asked. It was a cruel question and one that she had no desire to speak allowed. It was made necessary when she saw that he still planned to place Loki on trial. Holding him in a cell until he was fully recovered might be something she'd have to accept for the safety of her son. Putting him on trial when his mind was so unbalanced just wasn't something she would accept. Frigga certainly wasn't going to accept it when her grandchildren were involved. It was a nervous worry that she didn't know how they were being treated now. They were still Loki's children and would need him healthy and whole.

"You, off all people, doubt my love for my own son?" Odin's lone eye narrowed in displeasure. She knew very well the depths of grief he suffered when he thought his youngest son dead. She knew this well since she was the one who calmed his nightmares when he dreamt again and again of Loki falling from the Bifrost. He hadn't meant what he said as an outright rejection. Odin had only meant that Loki need not have gone to such lengths. That wasn't how Loki took it. By the time he realized what was happening, Loki had let go. His son chose death, and Odin felt the weight of his guilt for it. He grieved even more when a wraith looking like his son, returned to wreak havoc on Midgard. It wasn't his son. It was a vengeful spirit wearing his son's face, speaking in his son's voice. Odin knew he would give much to be able to go back to that day, to stop Loki, to explain that he didn't need to go so far. He would give almost anything to have his youngest son back. Loki was always such a sweet boy, so kind and gentle. It was only after the incident in the arena that Loki grew spiteful. Odin regretted that incident, he always would. By the time he heard of what happened it was all done. He did nothing more about Thor's actions than making sure the boy's family received weregild. Everything else was done legally, so there wasn't much else he could do. He thought that what Loki did was punishment enough. He saw afterwards that it wasn't enough, but so much time had passed that he didn't know what else could be done, so he ended up doing nothing. He often thought that it was that incident that turned Loki towards a darker path.

There were far too many regrets that Odin had Loki. His most prominent regret was that he hadn't taken his wife and young sons and fled from Asgard once he knew there were no more threats. He rarely longed to be free of the duties and responsibilities of royal life. That desire had been shoved down so deep within himself that it rarely showed itself. As it was making itself known he took it and shoved it down again. To be royalty is to serve those you would rule, his mother told him many times. The old woman who was her mentor instilled that virtue in her. Even so, Odin regretted not taking his family from Asgard. This could have been prevented if he had.

"He tried to take his own life, twice that we know of for we both know he didn't fall from the Bifrost; his hand did not slip. He willingly relinquished his hold. If he would do this, then he was unwell. His mind is unbalanced, and we cannot blame him for that." Frigga could hear Thor breathing deeply behind her. It displeased her to discuss this in front of him because it made her eldest son physically sick to think of what happened that day. In response, she unraveled her seidr to spin it into a Regenerative Weave which she released into Thor's chest before raveling her seidr back.

Unfurling his seidr, Frey formed a Regenerative Weave for Thor. He slid it into the boy's blood and hoped it might steady his nephew while the boy calmed himself. His weave hit at the same time as his beloved sister's weave. With it done, he furled his seidr back into his core. This wasn't a good place to be airing such things.

"Twice he has chosen death over the life we have provided. There is more to family than clothing, food, and shelter. Thor has never wanted for your love, for he is so very like you. But what of Loki? He's waited for you. Centuries he's waited, trying everything he could think of to earn your affections. How long will you make your son wait?" Frigga knew that challenging Odin publicly was a dangerous gambit, but she also knew that he needed to see the effect he had on his youngest. It was something she'd been trying to gently accomplish for centuries. Gentleness was no longer an option. She needed him to see. In order to get that she needed to bypass his defenses. Shock was sometimes the best way around his defenses, mostly because he was so difficult to honestly shock. Frigga hoped it would work today.

Such terrible guilt rested in her heart since the breaking of the Bifrost. She always thought she'd have time to gently bring her husband and son together. They were so very different, and Frigga knew it was difficult for Odin to understand Loki. Truthfully, Loki was so very different than everyone in Asgard. He was so intelligent, so sensitive, so talented in magic, so very, very inquisitive. He was such a gentle boy, far too gentle for Asgard. She thought she'd have time. Then time ran out suddenly and violently. Frigga no longer had the time to be gentle as she was before. She had to find a way to bring them together. Her beautiful boy was unwell, and her husband blind. Neither could remain that way anymore. If Frigga was to have her family put back together, then they'd have to be brought together one way or another.

Odin's affection for Loki and his great pride in both his sons was well known to Frigga. She also knew that Loki didn't feel enough of them from Odin, for Odin didn't show them often. He rarely showed any of his emotions outside of their private chambers. She watched Loki slowly withdraw over the centuries. She'd watched as his efforts grew simultaneously more desperate and more half-hearted. She told Loki many times that his father did love him and was so very proud of him. Loki would always smile politely, but there was no warmth in his smile. There were signs that all was not well with him. Frigga knew that she should've paid closer attention to them. There was never anything but a pleasant calm in his seidr and a calm smile on his face though. That calm was often a wonderful refuge from the heavy duties of All Mother, the chief administrator and diplomat of Asgard itself. It would be easier to say that Loki was a tremendous showman and that it was too easy to believe him when he said all was fine with him. It was an easier path that she would never take. Loki was her child, she should've seen that he was struggling, that he needed her. She should've done more. Her child's desperate actions were proof enough of that.

"It matters not what I want. The law is clear. Loki must be returned for trial," Odin said. It didn't matter what he wanted. He was the Lord of Asgard, and the duties of King rested on his shoulders. There was a resignation in that, there always had been. It was his Elder Brother Vili who was raised to be King. It was his father's madness that put the crown on his head instead. Odin's deep dislike of the duties of Lord had faded over the years as the resignation had grown to cover most of his feelings about the crown and his unbreakable link to it. Carrying out the law was one of the few points of honest pride he had in being the Lord of Asgard. Odin wasn't certain that pride would be able to withstand putting Loki on trial. He could already feel the resignation creeping towards that as well.

"And so, Loki must wait even longer," Frigga turned back to the screen. "Truthkeeper, carry on please." This was only the first skirmish in what was going to probably be a long battle to get her stubborn husband to understand. She would win that battle in the end. No matter how long it took her, she was going to have her family put back together again. She was going to have her beautiful boy back.

The same grief he'd felt for years filled Frey again as he looked to his beloved sister. He didn't think he could draw in his seidr anymore without her noticing that as well. He struggled to contain his emotions so that they wouldn't leak out through his seidr, even as tightened down as it was. He sighed quietly. Frey knew what was coming. He also knew that his beloved sister would never forgive him for it.