- Chapter 22 -

"I believe Frey was able to discover what happened because he's an experienced Heal Meister who was looking critically at the situation. It was a week after the knife opened my veins, my wounds were closed, but by no means healed." Loki began to rub at the inside of her wrists again. "I didn't heal so quickly as a child. I think it must have been because I was always ill. I spent most of my first three hundred years in the healing rooms." I've never healed well ...always weak.

.-.-.-.

Most of her first three hundred years? As a child? "Thor, was Loki sick as a kid?" Bruce asked quietly. He hadn't wanted to cause a disruption, but Steve obviously heard and turned around to listen.

"Yes. Loki was very ill as a child. So ill that we feared many times that he wouldn't survive. He spent much of his time as a child in the healing rooms." Thor looked almost haunted.

"Healing rooms? That's the hospital?" Steve asked. It was odd, but he didn't like the thought of Lilith being so ill as a child. She was a good woman who he thought deserved better than that. She was also Loki, and he didn't know how he felt about that yet.

"Yes, that's what you call it," Thor's voice was unusually quiet.

Neither Bruce nor Steve could remember a time when Thor had spoken so softly. It threw Bruce off a little. "He had heatstroke all year round?" He was incredulous about that because he'd treated heat stroke before. It was a common occurrence in India in the summertime, as well as in South America. There was just no way someone could suffer a continuous state of it all year and not die. Is Asgardian medical practice really that much better?

"The heat sickness was only in the summers," Thor said. Thinking of it brought old and terrible memories with it that were never welcome in his mind.

"Every summer?" Bruce didn't like the sound of this. Heat stroke affected a person's brain, along with the rest of their organs. Not only that but its effects were also felt for decades after it was properly treated. Lilith didn't seem affected, but that might not be the case.

"Yes. It wasn't until he was older that he grew out of it. As a child Loki suffered through the heat sickness every summer just the same," Thor remembered wondering often why his Little Brother's skin burned even when he was in the shade. He'd only ever seen the full measure of the sickness once. His parents made sure that he never saw it again. "He would burn, even when we were inside. I still remember the only time I saw it become severe. I wanted to play outside, so I went to get Loki. We were almost outside when it happened. Loki was rambling and slurring his words. I thought he got into some drink when we went through the dining hall. I wasn't so concerned when he fell down."

"He'd fallen on his face, so I went to pull him up. He didn't move when I called his name. I turned him onto his back. He, he was, I'd never seen ..." Thor looked down at his hands, still able to see it clearly.

"Thor?" Steve promoted his friend to keep speaking, he felt a need to know what happened. He'd seen fellow soldiers stricken with heat. They were never the same again. If their mind was left sound, then their bodies would harbor a weakness even after the sickness was over. There were those who'd been so sick with heat that their minds were no longer sound. They'd been sent home to their families to be cared for. Unfortunately, it didn't sound like Loki's family took care of him well enough.

"He ..." Thor spoke quietly, slowly, "when I turned him onto his back his skin was already reddening as though a flame were being held to it. It reddened, then blistered, and then cracked in places. Blood began to flow from his nose, and then his ears. There was a strange noise, like a popping sound," Thor looked at Bruce. "His eyes began to bleed then. I tried to pick him up, to take him to the healing rooms. I yelled for aid. I, ...I didn't mean to hurt him," Thor's voice sounded small, and almost childish then.

"What happened, Thor?" Steve didn't think he wanted to know, but he pressed ahead anyway.

"I went to pick him up, but when I moved him," Thor shoved down the nausea rising through him. "When I tried to pick him up, he slipped from my grip. He fell back to the floor, but his skin was still in my hands."

"Oh, Jesus," Steve whispered. He closed his eyes for a moment to get the image out of his head. He and Bruce looked at one another. Bruce was thinking the same thing as him. If Loki were that sick hundreds of times over, then how sound could his mind be? Steve was beginning to wonder if Loki could be reasonably held responsible for anything he'd done.

"I yelled for aid. It was my father who took Loki to the healing rooms. I didn't see my Little Brother for many days after that. It was the last time that Loki was allowed outside without a healer accompanying him, when he was a child," Thor pushed the fear filled memories away. He did not want to think of his Little Brother being cooked alive. That wasn't how he wanted to think of any of it.

As he heard Thor speaking, Odin frowned slightly. To that day, he was still angry that it happened. He told Thor many times that Loki needed to stay inside, to not go out into the sunlight. Thor refused to listen. He remembered hearing his eldest son screaming for assistance as he'd been walking through a room nearby. He felt more terror upon finding Loki on the floor bleeding because much of the skin of his right arm and shoulder were missing than he had in any of the many battles he'd fought in. Even losing an eye didn't scare him as much as seeing his youngest son in a pool of his own blood. He scooped up Loki and teleported to the healing rooms immediately. The Heal Mistresses took Loki from him and set to work right then. An encompassing anger filled his thoughts as he looked down to see his clothing smeared with his son's blood. His hands were covered in it. It sickened him. He was leaving the healing rooms to find Thor and deal with the boy when Frigga found him. She counseled him to patience by arguing that Thor was also just a boy, barely older than Loki. Frigga was also the one who cleaned Loki's blood from him. It was only because of her intervention that Thor didn't get a beating that day. As angry as he'd been, he was still grateful to her for stopping him. Odin never wanted to be like Borr. He didn't want to be distracted from what Loki was saying either. Loki's childhood was bloody enough in his opinion. He wasn't certain that he wanted to know that there was worse.

Frigga didn't look to Thor as he spoke. The slightly sour expression on her face was clear enough. She told him many times that Loki shouldn't go outside into the suns' light. Thor didn't listen. Thor and Loki were inseparable as boys, and Thor hadn't understood the importance of Loki staying inside. If Thor went to play outside, then he brought Loki with him. Wherever Thor went, he tried to bring Loki along. His brother's skin sloughing off caused him to be more careful, not her warnings. She couldn't be very angry with Thor for long. He was a child, only a little older than Loki. He just wanted to spend time with his brother, and she couldn't fault him for that. This was a behavior that she encouraged. When Loki was well again, she made certain that a healer escorted him everywhere he went. Thinking back on it, Frigga remembered how Loki complained. The other children make sport of me, mother. She could clearly hear the pain in his little voice as she thought back. Guilt twisted in her heart, she did nothing about the pain when she heard it. She'd been so concerned with his physical wellbeing that she didn't think his mind could become unbalanced. She only wanted her child to be well.