- Chapter 24 -
Loki watched Tony pace through the kitchen, winding himself up. His anger was manageable at first. Perhaps even justified. She tried not to be angry over it. It was all over and done with. Truthfully, if given another chance she would make the same sacrifices over again. There was only one thing she would do differently. Tony disagreed. He always disagreed. His anger had become volatile over the years. It worried Loki. She feared for him, that he'd lose himself in the anger. She feared that she wouldn't be able to pull him back, that nothing could pull him back after she left. More than anything else, Loki feared that if Tony lost himself in the anger he would end up doing something catastrophic. Tony was capable of lighting a fire that she couldn't put out. My fault. I should have given him more time. She could almost have laughed at herself if it hadn't made her feel like howling in frustration and despair. Loki had given all she had to give. There was nothing left.
She could see him grinding his teeth as he paced. She waited for the explosion of expletives with a half hour long, maybe even coherent, rant. Hopefully, there would be no loose seidr to start another fire. There was already a burning growl in his seidr. None of it came. Instead, Tony turned to face her, reached out and touched the side of her face gently. His seidr pulsed out again until she could feel her eyes sparkling with it. Safe with me, his seidr whispered to her. It always made her feel safe. He leaned back against the opposite counter with his arms crossed and waited. No, there would be no getting out of this.
"I retired to my chambers after the evening meal. I planned to try again. I had the knife, and some numbing tincture I'd taken from the healing rooms. I already knew where to make cuts to ensure the most effective bleed. I said good night, goodbye, to everyone. I was ready." Loki's heart was a calm beat in her chest as she remembered the peace she felt that night. The thought that all her problems would soon be ended was a blissful one indeed. "When I got to my chambers there was a surprise waiting for me. A small, ornate chest sitting on the table in my front room. I tried to move past it, told myself that it didn't matter. I reminded myself that only the tincture and knife mattered, that both of them were waiting for me in my bathing chamber. I tried, but I couldn't."
"Curiosity got the better of you?" Tony asked. Another small smirk crossed his lips.
"When have I ever been curious?" Loki chuckled.
The smile that brought to Tony's face was better than the scowl, but it still didn't erase the rage in his eyes. "You, curious? Never."
Loki placed a hand over her heart in an exaggerated gesture, "Why, I am the very soul of ignorance!" She chuckled again and dropped her hand back to resting on her knee. "It had the Dragon's Writ in it." They were too fascinating to resist, so much so that they completely drew her attention away from her problems. Those books let her focus on them instead of how miserable she was. She still had the books in the interdimensional pocket she carried around with her. They were an autobiography of Afi Gorynych written by Afi Gin. She loved rereading them from time to time. When she was little and would visit her Afi Gorynych, he would let her act out some of the stories from the books. Afi Gin always laughed loudly as she made of fort in Afi Gorynych's horns.
Tony sighed, and finally understood. "The books about dragons that made you decide to try living again." They were great books. Afi Gin was an amazing author. Afi Gorynych was just amazing. He was glad that Loki had let him have the knowledge in those books.
"There was a note on top of the books. It was from Uncle Frey. It read,"
'To My Dear Nephew,
I found these in the archives recently and thought you might enjoy them. I hope that they find you recovering from your illness. I'm sure that you'll be well soon.
Most Sincere Affections,
Uncle Frey
"He knew, and he also knew the best way to distract you from it was with some heavy reading," Tony was going to have to thank Frey. And apologize, I never did get around to that, he thought with an increasingly large amount of guilt.
"Yes. He sent me something entirely too fascinating for me to pass up," Loki said. "As I said, Frey is a complex man. He gained favor with the Lords and Ladies by demonstrating generosity. He protected his sister by protecting me," she held a hand up to shush him, "before hard choices had to be made, I do believe Frigga would have grieved. Frey moved to stop that. He gained favor with me for future use by gifting me with such rare and beautiful books, and he even gained good will from many Master Mages by supporting a young mage. It was a masterful move. One which I am now old enough to look back on and appreciate." Loki smiled. Frey had moved her many times. She couldn't be angry about it since she'd moved him just as many times. The two of them had been dancing with each other for centuries.
.-.-.-.
Director Fury arched an eyebrow at Stark's comment then immediately dismissed it. Dragons weren't real, they couldn't be. The books were probably just for Asgardian children. That better be kid's fiction.
Frey remembered things somewhat differently. He remembered returning to Vanaheim in a near frenzy. When he asked his beloved sister what was ailing the boy this time, he'd expected to be pulled aside into a private room. He expected to be told the truth. He expected to have Frigga cry on his shoulder and then ask for aid. It was aid he would gladly have given if for no other reason than it was his beloved sister asking. What he hadn't expected was to be told, "The heat is making Loki unwell again," and "The summer is almost over, and he'll be well again soon." Frey pressed, asking her if she was certain it was the heat making him ill. He didn't expect to be reassured that, "'Loki will be well."
It was so obvious. The flush in the lad's skin was false. The glamour was well constructed for a novice, but it was still able to see seen through from certain angles. It was a novice mistake made by a novice that allowed him to see the truth. If anything, the boy's real skin was unnaturally pale. He was never pale when the heat made him ill. The heat brought an honest blush to Loki's skin. There was no glamour needed because the heat reddened and burned his skin as though by flame. Loki was weak, dizzy, and panting for breath. Those were all common with the heat, but so was delirium. Loki was weak, but of a sound mind. Then there was the flinch when he greeted the boy. It was barely there, so tiny but unmistakable. Loki flinched when his wrist was grasped. It was highly suspicious since patting the boy on the back or touching his upper arm hadn't yielded the same result. His skin wasn't injured all over as was common with the heat. He gave Loki the same greeting the next day using his other hand and received the same result. Only Loki's wrists were injured. Another day of observation brought him to the conclusion that Loki was having a hard time picking things up, handling his silverware, and gripping anything tightly. These combined with how Loki was winded and dizzy when he stood up too quickly were also highly suspicious. What brought it all together was the boy's active attempts to remain unnoticed by everyone, particularly the healers.
None of what his nephew was displaying suggested heat sickness to Frey, it looked much more like blood loss from injury. He fought in many battles over the years, many scraps and brawls. The effects of blood loss were well known to him both as a Heal Meister and as a warrior. He very nearly told his beloved sister; he was so close. Frey was on his way to have a discussion with Frigga when he came across Loki in the hallway. That's when he'd slipped into the shadows to watch Loki. He thought he might be able to confirm his suspicions, to gather more evidence to take to his beloved sister. Had it not been for Loki being so ill, he would never have slipped into the shadows to begin with. He told Frigga he wouldn't do it in Asgard. Frey knew that once he was there not even Odin could find him until it was too late. The temptation to slide his pike through Odin's chest wasn't something he wanted to deal with, so he didn't do it in Asgard.
Loki was walking slowly, leaning against the wall to stay upright, and stumbling occasionally as if he couldn't quite feel his limbs. He'd almost come out of the shadows to pick the boy up and take him to the healing rooms. He was going to put the boy in a Soul Forge and handle the matter himself. It was his brother-by-law who stopped him. Odin came out of one of the side rooms into that hallway. He'd moved back from them to avoid temptation then. Loki immediately pushed away from the wall. The boy straightened up and began walking as if he hadn't a care in the world. Frey watched silently as the boy greeted his father. They spoke briefly before Odin had to be off to attend to other business. A Lord's life was a busy one, this Frey knew well. Odin smiled and placed a kiss on top of the boy's head before he left.
The difference he saw then was staggering. It was so great that he didn't even notice the temptation when it hit. He didn't hear what Odin said to Loki, but whatever it was caused Loki to swell up with obvious affection. It was as if the boy suddenly came alive at Odin's words. Odin strode away completely unaware of the difference he made. Loki deflated some as his father left. It was clear that he was still exhausted, but he was no longer leaning on the wall and stumbling. He quietly moved away from Loki to slip out of the shadows in a darkened hallway.
Frey knew it then. There was no responsible way that he could tell his beloved sister what he'd seen. She would tell Odin. Odin would look differently at the boy, treat him differently. Loki wouldn't be able to bear Odin's disappointment. It was clear to Frey then that the very nature of Odin's reaction would be far more harmful to Loki than beneficial. Neither Odin nor Loki was ready to have the truth exposed.
So, Frey kept his silence, slipped a regenerative weave on the boy then returned to Vanaheim. He didn't sleep for over three days as he thought through the problem. Every day was a nerve-wracking torture as he waited for a messenger bearing the grief of his beloved sister. Every day that messenger didn't come was both a blessing and a curse. It was as he was beginning to lose his fight against sleep on the fourth day that the idea brightened his thoughts. He would use Loki's greatest passion against the boy. In doing so he would hopefully keep the boy alive long enough for whatever problems he had to be resolved. Checking on the boy constantly was going to have to happen. He smiled at Loki thinking that he thought about anything but family when he'd sent the books. It was only after they'd been sent that he thought about what more the move would net him than just an intact family.
The Dragon's Writ were treasures of the Royal House of Vanaheim. They were the only known books left in existence that chronicled the life of an Elder Dragon, from that dragon's perspective. They were written by the first King of Asgard who was said to have undergone the Rite of Blood Brotherhood with an Elder Dragon. While each Royal House throughout the realms was gifted with a set, only Vanaheim had managed to retain theirs through the long years. Their worth was beyond measure. Frey felt it a gamble to send the books to someone so young. Had it been anyone else, he would never have considered it. Had it been anyone but Loki, he would've told their parents. It still brought a smile to his face when he thought of all the times the boy came to visit and would be reading one of the volumes. Frey knew that Loki read and reread each volume in the set many times. Their knowledge even came in handy in the fine adventures he and the lad had eventually went on. Even though Frey parted with treasure of his Noble House he still felt it was the right choice.
Frigga always wondered if there was more to her brother's decision to gift Loki with a treasure of their Noble House. All he would ever tell her was that it would be better to have them in Loki's hands than in the Royal Treasury. She understood now. You were standing guard over Loki for me. A small amount of the anger she felt slid away. It was only a small amount, but the lessening of her anger with him was still a relief.
.-.-.-.
Stroking his goatee, Tony put things in order in his mind. He re-crossed his arms and spoke, "So if he knew about your first attempt, then he had to know about the second attempt."
"Yes. Once again, I thought I was clever enough to fool him. And again, I was wrong," Loki said quietly. It was embarrassing to have ever tried fooling him as a child.
"What I don't get was why no one thought the second attempt was an assassination attempt. Isn't poison pretty standard for assassination? It is here on Earth anyway." Tony's expression hardened.
The truth, she reminded herself. Loki was uncomfortable with that line of questioning. He'll have it one way or another, and this is one you don't have to talk around. "That's because it wasn't exactly poison."
"Really? Why did you tell me it was then?" Tony was reminded again of why they were talking about all of this. The pain in his back throbbed with his anger. He still had some hard questions for her about why it looked like she misled him on purpose.
"That was the effect it had. It wasn't meant to be used as a poison, it just happened to be poisonous," Loki replied. The anger in his seidr was burning hotter.
"Don't argue semantics with me, I'm not in the mood. I want the truth, Loki. You're going to give it to me." He had a hard look on his face that he almost always reserved for Thor. The burning rage in his chest was burning through to his back again, leaving his shoulders tight. It met the ache already in his back and heightened each. It hurt to be this angry with her.
