- Chapter 35 -
Everything I did was in service of Yggdrasil, what does he mean by that? Odin's thoughts swirled around and around. As a Defender of Yggdrasil there was no action Loki could take that would be held as criminal. Every action taken in defense of the Nine Realms was justified as the greater good and therefore would never be criminal. Normally it took the Lord of an Elder Realm to bestow that heavy title. It was only through the most extraordinary of actions that an individual could be called such without their Lord first acknowledging it. An old and disappointed part of him wanted to believe that this was a masterful stroke on Loki's part. He was used to this voice, used to the automatic disappointment whenever he thought of what happened on Jotunheim. Even though he knew now that he couldn't hold Loki wholly responsible for those actions, there was still a bitter disappointment. That disappointment was a dark cloak he'd worn constantly for the last few years. Odin thought that it must have been that disappointment that Asgard took as disdain for Loki. Have I poisoned the people's minds against Loki even before that? Skuld said they were called to bear witness to a terrible truth. The Truthkeeper said that everything they saw was the absolute truth, and even that Loki hadn't been their enemy. Frey told him that Loki had protected him from an Inquiry to Enlightenment. All these things were coming together in a way that was causing dread to work its way up through Odin's chest. He shoved it back down again.
"The Chitauri were on Jotunheim? Heimdall, you didn't see this?" Thor asked. Heimdall saw everything. He couldn't imagine how Heimdall couldn't have seen that.
"No, Your Grace. I would have informed Lord Odin immediately," Heimdall answered quietly. I didn't see this. Is my vision is failing me? Perhaps it's time to give up my post. It was difficult for any Guardian of the Bifrost to consider. To give up their post was a death sentence, for there could only ever be one living Guardian. Only one guardian could ever be bound to Hofud at a time. It needed to be carefully considered. A replacement had to be found, trained, and proven worthy to succeed him. He hadn't even begun to look for a replacement because he was in the middle of his life, not the end. Perhaps my time is coming due.
Yggdrasil? Steve wasn't sure he entirely understood the Nine Realms business. He understood that there was a network of planets that were linked together somehow. He also understood that Earth was in that network. However, there were times that Thor described them in a way that sounded mystical. Steve knew that supernatural elements and abilities existed, but still had a hard time wrapping his head around things like magic. What he did understand was military infiltration and incursion. "The Chitauri infiltrated the Nine Realms before they came through the portal in New York. They were on Jotunheim, and kept their operations quiet enough that no one noticed," he said. "Well, no one but Loki."
"And we still don't know what Loki's exact relationship to them was," Natasha said to Director Fury. He looked distinctly upset.
"Great, we're dealing with a zealot," Director Fury muttered. He wasn't that surprised anymore at how Loki led an invading alien army when his brother seemed so normal. Any man willing to rip out his own eyes to find a home wasn't sane to begin with.
.-.-.-.
"Everything you did may have been for the good of the Nine Realms, but we both know who you did it for," Tony said quietly. His eyes glowed with orange fire for a moment before he closed them and took a calming breath. He opened his dark eyes to look back at her.
"Love makes all things possible," Loki said sadly. She didn't want to get into that argument again. No matter who she tried to argue the point with, it was an argument she never won.
.-.-.-.
The frown on Frey's face was aimed at Loki's statement. It was a very wrong statement. A sad and disgusting one at that. There was only ever one man who could capture Loki's heart. That was Anthony. There was only ever one person who could capture Anthony's heart. That was Loki. Anthony hadn't known until recently. Loki knew for centuries, and had acted accordingly. Even when sharing his body with someone Loki hadn't ever made it personal. To share one's body was an impersonal act. The share one's heart couldn't be more personal. Frey thought that Anthony had always held Loki's heart. For Loki to have loved another felt sacrilegious and foul. He thought that he knew why Loki did everything. The explanation given in the first recording he was shown made it clear why it was done. It was done for family, he thought, to protect ...Asgard. It was done to protect Asgard and the one in it whom she loved. It wasn't just done for family. Frey truly hoped that he misunderstood what they just said. It would be extremely wrong for him to have properly understood what they were talking about.
.-.-.-.
After a few more minutes of calming himself, a thoughtful look crossed Tony's face. He sat stroking his goatee. "You didn't lie to me. You were studying abroad. You were at just off at the Jedi Temple. Ok, I get that."
"I wasn't at the Jedi Temple. That would have been far more fun, easier, and less excruciating," Loki chuckled.
"Excruciating?" Tony asked. He closed his eyes again and hoped that tearing her own eyes out wasn't the beginning of much worse. Who else am I going to end up hating? Who else needs to burn? The hate burns me, and I'll use it to burn them all. He set that thought aside. It was distracting and unhelpful. Besides, it wasn't going anywhere, so he could deal with it later.
"Yes," Loki thought about it for a moment. She tried to smile despite his seidr hissing hatred out for anyone to hear. "I suppose she wouldn't be upset with me for telling you." She laughed quietly and said, "It's not as if anyone else would believe me. So, why not?"
Hopping up onto the counter again, Loki leaned back then. "To become a member of House Norn everything you are must be stripped away. You spend the first hundred years in a lightless, soundless pit meditating. Every sound you make adds a day of meditation to your time. You must be still; have the patience to wait until the time is right to move. The next hundred years is spent submersed in the Cosmic Stream. It's the flow of the Power Cosmic through the universe. This second stage is carefully monitored and controlled. While you spend the first hundred years in complete isolation, the second hundred years is spent connected to another Norn. You mind is within theirs and theirs within yours. The level of connectivity is profound. It strips away your sense of self, of individuality. It has to be a pair, you see. Any mind exposed to the Cosmic Stream by itself would be shattered. A single mind is never strong enough to withstand the currents of the cosmos while more than one allows the power to flow over and around you. After that you study the magics of time manipulation by studying the cycles of time. I explained some of it to you already. You spend every hour in the day but one studying. That one hour is spent mediating. A special charm is used to maintain a state of extended alertness. That charm works outside of the temple grounds, of course, but it wears off every few days. On the temple grounds, the charm is applied once, and must be removed when you leave."
"That sounds like torture," Tony didn't like to think of Loki losing herself, of being put through that.
"Don't think of it as torture," she paused for a moment to consider her words, "Think of it as a forging process. Ore must be refined, the impurities removed before it can be made into something better. It was like this. I was broken down to my very core, and then rebuilt into something greater. I'm grateful to Amma and her sisters for making me into more. I'm even grateful to Skuld, despite what she would have had me do," Loki said warmly.
"A forging process," Tony said quietly. He was careful to think more about his rage so that none of his thoughts of the forging process Loki described would leak out. How many forging processes have you undergone? He didn't know, and neither did she. "Amma? I thought she was one of your mentors?" Tony wouldn't be surprised if Amma was more than a mentor. Afi Gin and Afi Gorynych were each so much more than they were initially described as.
The sudden increase in the burn from Tony's seidr did surprise Loki to feel. She wished she could get Tony to tell her why the forging process upset him so. It was one of the few things that he still absolutely refused to speak with her on. It involved his workshop. That much was certain. Loki strongly suspected that he had a terrible accident that hurt him to badly. It was difficult to pry those parts of his history out of him. This was an even more difficult subject for her personally because she still didn't want to know very much about his workshop. That she could enter it without crippling fear was enough. "She is. Before she was my mentor, she was Queen of Asgard. Before that, Lady Audhumbla was Matron of House Norn. Her marriage to Ginnungagap Ymirson, first King of Asgard, bound the two Houses together forever. They are the High King and Queen of the Nine Realms," Loki said. She missed Amma so much. She missed both Afi Gin and Afi Gorynych terribly.
.-.-.-.
"Husband, could the legends be true?" Frigga asked. Her eyes were wide with shock. She'd walked by the great red doors at the entrance to the library too many times to remember. There was a smaller set of doors just beyond them that the Archivists and Librarians used to seal the library. The great red doors were always open. No one knew why they were kept open; they just were. It was another odd tradition in a kingdom full of them. Frigga previously suspected that the hinges were stuck, and no one wanted to admit it. Now she suspected that Lady Audhumbla had something to do with it. It didn't seem possible that the first Lady of Asgard was still living. If she was the Matron of the Norns then it might be entirely possible for her to still be alive. Lady Audhumbla was a Queen whose authority superseded Odin's own. Frigga wanted to meet her. Finding out how to was the problem.
"I hadn't thought so, but it seems they are," Odin replied. Amma made much more sense. She hadn't usurped the title at all. A Norn. The Matriarch of my line is a Norn. The Matron of the Norns. The tales of Lady Audhumbla said she was a military leader, not a Norn. She was said to be the first Grand Marshall of the Valkyr and an officer in one of the Asgardian armies. There was a small spike of pride at the thought that he was descended from the Norns. His blood flowed from beings of immense power and there was pride to be had in that. The Matriarch of my line has trained my son. There was a larger spike of jealously that he hadn't been chosen. Then there was an even larger spike of concern over what training Loki might have received.
"Mother, what do you mean?" Thor asked. There were many legends in Asgard. He hadn't heard any about this woman. The guardsmen liked to tell tales of the talking skeleton that was embedded in one of the city's walls. There was the cursed fountain that no one had ever been able to uncurse. It always rebuilt itself after it was torn down, then angrily spewed mostly congealed blood for a month after it was rebuilt. It was the stench that deterred most people from trying to go near it. Some of the darker back alleys in the market district were said to attract trouble. About a century ago he assisted the City Guardsman to root out a nest of particularly mischievous nisse. He and the guardsmen drove the nisser towards his Little Brother. Loki used his magic to relocate the pests without killing too many of them. The Royal Stables also had their fair share of odd rumors and tales told about them. It was said to be bad luck to not bring to ruling Lord's mount a single apple when visiting the stables. Thor did it because he liked Sleipnir. His father's mount was a good horse, very personable in his opinion. In all of it, he'd never even heard the name of Lady Audhumbla.
"The great red doors at the entrance of the Library of Gladheim. Audhumbla's Mournful Red Gaze. It's said to be a place out of time. A seat of power from which she watches over Asgard for all time. Loki must have found a way to enter. Or be taken in if Lady Audhumbla was calling to him," Frigga explained to her son. Perhaps the doors staying open are a test? If you can close them she allows you entry?
.-.-.-.
"Ginnungagap?" Tony's lips twitched upwards into a smirk. It was a small sliver of levity that he eagerly reached for.
"Ginnungagap is an honorable name," Loki frowned at him.
Smirking hard at Loki, Tony thought about how the names from Asgard always fell into two categories. They were either completely bad-ass or just hilariously bad. "Sure thing, cupcake."
It was hard for Loki to scowl at Tony, despite her best effort, since she agreed with him. Ginnungagap was a terrible name for a wonderful man. "It is an honorable name," Loki returned his smirk, "and truly terrible. I've always preferred Afi Gin." Loki leaned forward to giggle just a little. It was even harder to do anything but giggle since Afi Gin refused to be called by his full name. He disliked it as much as anyone else. He'd disliked it even during the First Era when it was a popular name. She always felt bad for him but loved him none the less.
"Afi Gin's name is Ginnungagap. That poor guy. I thought Afi Gorynych had it bad," Tony giggled quietly. He hoped to be able to convince Loki to introduce him to them one day. They sounded like amazing people. He wanted to speak with Afi Gin on how he made his suit of armor. It was vastly superior to his own. "So, wait. Amma is a Norn and was Queen of Asgard?" Tony stopped giggling after a minute to look at Loki.
.-.-.-.
Afi Gin and Afi Gorynych? Odin's eyebrow lifted at that. Can it be Elder Gorynych?! Does Loki know an Elder Dragon?! Does my son call an Elder Dragon grandfather?! He and the first King were said to know one another. Is the Patriarch of my line still living as well? How have I never met him? How have I never met any of them? Loki calls him Afi Gorynych though. Loki's grandfather. Are they that close? Odin worried a little now that he might know.
What did you just say?! Frigga frowned slightly at the screen, at Stark mostly. He clearly knew more about Lord Ginnungagap and Lady Audhumbla than she did. It angered her that Stark was able to bully these things from Loki. Part of her still wanted to think that he was influencing Loki inappropriately. The rest of her knew that Frey wouldn't tolerate that. There was something else at play. It was just one more thing that she needed to discover. After that, there was only one being named Gorynych that she knew of. Like Skuld, Frigga didn't want Elder Gorynych near her son. Also, like Skuld, there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Frey's eyes widened in surprise. Afi Gorynych? If her mentor is Lady Audhumbla, then she could've known Lord Ginnungagap well enough to call him Afi, which would almost certainly mean that Afi Gorynych would indeed be Elder Gorynych. A slight frown touched his lips. It all fits. I must speak with her on this.
Unease snaked through each of the three monarchs' minds. Besides the discovery that the High King and Queen of yore were still living, none of them wanted Loki close enough to an Elder Dragon to call him "grandfather". Dragons were fearsome creatures, particularly the immortal Elders. They ate lava and spat fire that turned stone to lava. This Elder was the oldest of the seven patriarchs of the dragon clans, and the largest of them. He was supposed to be so large that his ebon wings blotted out the sky. The fire he spat was said to melt whole mountains. None of them were comfortable with Loki having gone near one as a child, but it did offer a potential explanation that they never thought they'd get. There was an incident a few years ago when Elder Gorynych had seemingly, gone mad for a brief time. The lava flows from his melting the lands around his lair spilled over into numerous small villages on the borders to the Vuurlanden, the dragon clans' territory. It coincided neatly with news of Loki's death spreading through the realms. That was a dangerous time to visit Muspelheim. Lord Surtur was so worried over what might have happened that he tried sending emissaries to the Elder to offer aid. The younglings of Elder Gorynych's clan incinerated them to keep them from reaching their Elder. Whatever the problem was, it was severe enough to draw the other Elders to Elder Gorynych's lands to go to his aid. It happened just after news of Loki's death spread through the realms.
.-.-.-.
Never had Loki told Tony about Amma herself, only about the training Amma did with her as her mentor. It rarely felt good to share her secrets with Tony. His perpetual rage made him unsuited to keeping them. It was his demand for the truth, and his strident efforts to keep her secrets that made her more willing to share them. One of the few pleasant things she'd found in sharing so much with him was that he never judged her for it. He might be angry, was often angry. There might be disappointment, but there was never a condemnation of her personally. It wasn't something Loki grew up with, and it felt like being spoiled to have it. "Amma is the High Queen of the Nine Realms, and one of the last living, full blooded members of House Norn. The Norns are extremely long lived because they don't age. They're still tied to their bodies, but only by a thin connection. Their bodies are kept in enchanted crypts. The crypts are kept in a vault at the heart of the temple grounds of Urdarbrunnr. Being eternal doesn't mean they can do as they please though. There are only so many moments per second and each moment is precious. Spending these moments must be carefully considered because while some can be spent and respent, others cannot. Carelessly spending moments could lead to other moments not being able to be respent. This is why the temple grounds stand as a rock in the currents of time. It's from the temple grounds that the Norns are able to effortlessly swirl into any moment in time. Time flows around the temple grounds but doesn't touch them. The temple grounds of Urdarbrunnr are the Norns' eternal home. At home, they use specially enchanted hourglasses there to simulate the passage of time. I spent the equivalent of almost thousand years there and didn't age a day." Loki stopped when Tony whistled in surprise. She winked at him mischievously then.
"Amma used the Eilifd Framherji to make a similar place in Asgard. The entrance is engraved on the doors of the Library of Gladheim. Audhumbla's Mournful Red Gaze, it's called. She watches over Asgard from there. It is a place free from the constraints of time. It's magnificent," Loki said.
"Sounds fun," Tony thought that a place where he could work and have no time pass would be awesome to have, invaluable really. "What's an Eilifd Framherji?" That also sounded useful also.
"Eilifd Framherji, the scythe that cleaves time and space. It is the weapon of House Norn, as Gungir is the weapon of the Royal House of Asgard," Loki smiled at the look on Tony's face. "I've seen it fully powered. It's terrifying, and awesome."
.-.-.-.
As Frey listened he wondered. House Norn. Were they honored with a Noble House after the marriage? Or were they a Noble House before? It made a difference. If they were a Noble House after the marriage, there should've been a record of it. If they were a Noble House before, and there was no record of it, then there were only two reasons. The fall of the Noble House or exile. Both were interesting.
.-.-.-.
"The Gaze is more than fun. It's glorious. It's where I learned to use the full Masquerade of Shadows, where I learned much of the history of Asgard, where I learned elder Magecraft of the Nine Realms, I learned the Martial Stance of the Lone Warrior, statecraft, ancient tactics and strategy, the Calligraphy of the Dunes, alchemy, cooking and sewing, many other things as well. It's where I went almost every day. Sometimes I would spend days at a time there and return to Asgard on the day I left having lost just a few minutes out of the day I entered. There were many times Afi Gin would pick me up from there and we would go to visit Afi Gorynych. Other times, Afi Gin would give me lessons while I was there. He's the one who instructed me in all the martial stances, even the ones not taught in Asgard anymore. Amma, Afi Gin and Afi Gorynych are my teachers and my dearest friends. They're my mentors. Amma and Afi, and very dear to me," Loki's voice went soft and fuzzy as she talked about her grandmother and two of her grandfathers. "It's where I went to be me, to be free."
"Wow, it sounds like they practically raised you," Tony thought it was an apt observation.
"No. They're my Amma and Afi, my mentors, not my parents," Loki corrected him. Titles, places, and distinctions were extremely important in the Elder Realms. Even though Midgard had almost completely let them go, she still wasn't willing to. There were terrible implications in renouncing those things.
"Yeah, they still sound like better parents than yours," Tony said seriously.
.-.-.-.
A spike of anger at Stark's words lodged in Frigga's mind. She was Queen of Asgard, and that mouthy mortal needed to have some respect. Most of her anger drained away as she realized that he was perhaps not wrong. She hadn't noticed her boy's pain and misery. She hadn't even noticed when he tried to harm himself. Lady Audhumbla noticed and moved to aid her boy. Perhaps Frey was right. Loki served his purpose to Odin's plans shortly after coming home with him. Frey's offer came much later. Perhaps she should've given over the boy when he offered to raise Loki. Frigga wasn't sure anymore. She missed so much that she couldn't be sure of herself any longer. The only certain thing was that she'd never wanted to give up either of her children.
Both Odin and Frey shared a single thought. If you've moved through time, then how old are you Loki?
Does it even matter now, Frey wondered. If she existed out of time, would she have aged? Does it change anything? He smirked, thinking, Well, it does change one thing. At least I know where all her ideas about dragons came from. They were some interesting ideas in his opinion and led to some interesting things. What all Elder Gorynych, Lord Ginnungagap and Lady Audhumbla taught her was something he was going to have to discuss with Loki. He very much wanted to know.
What things Lady Audhumbla might have shared with Loki piqued Odin's curiosity. What Lord Ginnungagap taught his son was also of keen interest. The first King of Asgard created many of the military tactics and strategy that were taught currently. What Elder Gorynych might have taught Loki was a curious mystery. How much more did they teach you? Why did Lady Audhumbla choose you? Could I have spared you these miseries had I known sooner? If two Norns came to you, was there ever anything I could have done? Odin still hoped he would be able to bring Loki home again. If he could do that then he could discuss these things with his son. Loki would have to be put under the care of Lady Eir, but there would still be time for conversations.
None of what Director Fury was hearing made him happy. Two immensely powerful beings came to Loki, I don't know anything about Afi Gin or Afi Gorynych yet, don't know how they fit into this. I know a little about the Norns. They're powerful. One trained him, the other recruited him for further training, which means that he's powerful and talented enough to be worth their time. Yet he didn't manage to complete an invasion with an army behind him? None of these things were adding up for Director Fury, and it made him all the more suspicious. What the hell is going on here?
.-.-.-.
"It was in the final stage of my training that I saw the camp, the Chitauri and their master from the temple grounds," Loki frowned a bit and moved on, "I had to act. Skuld seemed angry when I decided to leave instead of finishing my training, but she understood loyalty to family. She never agreed with the obligations of nobility to act on behalf of others. She felt that if Asgard couldn't see its enemies then Asgard could burn. She only agreed to let me leave when I told her that I had to defend my family. I had to return home."
"Skuld told me to let them burn if they were that foolish. She wanted me to let them burn. She wanted me to light the fire myself. I could never let that happen. If Asgard fell, then my family would perish. I couldn't allow that. I will not allow that." Loki spoke quietly but firmly.
I will honor my first memory. Always.
