- Chapter 38 -
Old memories came to the fore of her ailing mind. Loki was still distant but distraught now, and Tony was still unhappy about it. Her voice was oddly flat when she spoke again, "First Light activated the monitoring station for me, and realigned it. I could see him, and his entire armada. He travels on a broken moon from the first realm he killed. He had four ships traveling in formation around his moon. There were millions upon millions of Chitauri crawling through the ships." Her eyes were bright, her voice was thick with emotion as she spoke. "I failed. Everything I did to cover the truth, to protect my family, to protect Asgard, had failed. I slowed him down, nothing more. He still had the Infinity Gem he escaped with, and he was still coming for us. Coming for Asgard and my family." Only slowing him down was one of the most agonizing realizations of her life.
The memory of the harsh disappointment was hard for Loki to contain. It did no good to dwell on previous failures, especially since she managed to fix the problem eventually. "I had to act. I had to do something. He was still on the move. There was no one else but me to stop him."
.-.-.-.
The Infinity Gem he escaped with?! Keen alarm filled Odin's thoughts. He was there when the Mad Titan fled the field of battle with a single Infinity Gem left in his possession, the Mind Stone. He turned swiftly to look at Frey. Frey just looked back at him, resigned and impassive. Frey knew! Odin turned to the screen again. An Inquiry to Enlightenment and an Infinity Gem. Odin couldn't be certain yet; he had no name and Frey wouldn't speak. He hoped that it was just a random warlord from another race. If it was their darkest enemy, then what Loki did was both unimaginably heroic and unimaginably reckless. Loki would have known not to engage him alone. He is not someone to be dallied with. By the Norns, Loki what have you done?
Displeasure tightened Director Fury's mouth. He knew the look on Loki's face. It was a look he'd worn, and seen many others wear. It was the look of a man who'd gone to war. The look of a man who paid the high price war extracts from a person. Men who wore that were always dangerous, without exception. "Thor, what's an Infinity Gem?" the old spy asked.
"The Tesseract is an Infinity Gem," Thor answered grimly. Infinity Gems were one of the greatest threats known to Asgard. Realization hit him then in all its terrible glory, "It wasn't the frost giants Loki tried to warn us of, it was the Chitauri's master." His gut roiled and threatened to heave again. "Loki tried to warn us, and we didn't listen to him." Thor's mind raced along lines of thought he could never have imagined before. "We ignored his warning, so he engaged the enemy alone. The attack on Jotunheim was never an attack against the Jotunns." He looked to his father and could see his father agreed with him. "What have we done, father?" he asked quietly.
"You've destroyed Loki," Frey answered quietly. He knew that much for certain.
.-.-.-.
Tony didn't like the look of Loki's face. He'd seen it before. He never wanted to see it again. It was a look of desperate determination, the willingness to do anything needed, no matter what it cost. Loki had been calm since the dark days. She had her projects and was trying to improve the lives of Earth's citizens. She was constantly after him to improve more people's lives and stop working on his telecom satellites. For the most part she was a wife, a mother, and his personal assistant. Tony had forgotten in that time, forgotten what she really was. Loki was a warrior first. There was a warrior's determination in her, and it couldn't have been more obvious. He had a sudden urge to hold her tight, to kiss away their air and wipe that damnable look from her face. The moment faded as she began speaking again.
"If I was going to do anything, I needed a sound plan of action. I scoured the monitoring station's records. If I was going to engage him, I needed to know about him first. The records had everything from the moment of his birth to his exile from the Nine Realms. First Light aided me to sift through the information. I looked for any patterns, habits, likes or dislikes, preferences, anything I could use. First Light and I reduced his life in the Nine Realms to a series of points in a single report. Initially I didn't find anything," Loki explained, the urgency in her voice faded towards the end.
I was sickened by then. Loki's voice went oddly flat again. "I was reviewing the report when First Light activated the local defense system again. As I was climbing up off the floor I thought that it was a cruel irony that First Light, who'd been so useful to me, kept randomly attacking me. I hadn't slept in weeks. I was so tired and the charm keeping me awake was failing. I hadn't washed. Basking in the archives is a sweaty activity. I was filthy. I'd forgotten to eat again, and my whole midsection felt hollow. It hurts much more if First Light hits you on an empty stomach. It makes your insides ache for hours afterwards."
.-.-.-.
As he listened to Loki recall how a mad machine tortured him Thor's heart ached. He ached because he knew that it was his fault. Tears welled up in his eyes and ran down his face. He didn't try to stop them. Thor felt a deep need destroy something, to fling lightning, to rage and storm. He wouldn't. This wasn't the place for that kind of display. He would cry though. He would weep for his Little Brother. Thor longed to apologize to Loki. Once again, he was struck by a near overwhelming urge to leave there, to fly to Stark's home and to see Loki. Thor put the urge aside. He couldn't leave, not yet.
This wasn't something that Frigga wanted to be true. Alarm widened her eyes again. There was only one person she knew of who'd lived in the Nine Realms and was then exiled, escaping with an Infinity Gem in his possession. He wasn't an enemy to be dallied with. It took the combined might of the Nine Realms to drive him back. The thought of Loki engaging the Mad Titan alone was terrifying. That monster destroyed anyone he came near, without exception.
His exile from the Nine Realms?! Odin made sure that his mask was in place. No one could see the fear he felt at those words. Oh, no, no. Loki what have you done?! You could not have done this! He truly and ardently hoped that this wasn't the truth. Even the thought of one of his sons engaging their darkest enemy was terrifying. Having it actually happen wasn't something he wanted to face.
.-.-.-.
"As I sat at my desk, I thought this. Such a cruel irony," Loki looked at Tony then. "That's when it happened again. I could see the future so clearly. I looked at the report again and saw it. He has a love of cruel irony. That's what I used to relieve him of an Infinity Gem."
A little touch of pain and vengeance crept into Loki's eyes. As she looked at Tony the love she felt for him overwhelmed those dark emotions. She loved everything about him. From his short hair to his goatee to his bright eyes to his well-muscled body. His mind was what she loved most. She was about to scar that beautiful mind. Her seidr couldn't whisper her secrets itself, but through their bargain it would ensure that she couldn't directly lie to him. No, there's no getting out of this. I can only talk around the last of it, and only for so long. Hopefully, long enough. It won't be much longer now. "I didn't have much to work with, so I had to bargain with others to get what I needed."
"I made three bargains while I was there. The first was made with First Light. There was a smaller version of the Bifrost in the compound, with only enough power for two uses. For these two uses I made two constructs for First Light. The first was made as a new vehicle for First Light. The second I made in my own image. I gave it my knowledge and twisted its personality to be quite fond of First Light. The second bargain I made with the Heart of Asgard. I used the monitoring station to contact the Heart. In exchange for not sanctioning another Inquiry to Enlightenment, I promised to use the Infinity Gem to cast the Auric Shield Spell, which I did," Loki stopped suddenly as Tony interrupted.
"That's the heart that wants to murder everyone?" Tony asked. He couldn't disagree with it completely. On most days he wanted to burn worlds as well.
"Not wants to. Is going to. If Asgard doesn't stop fooling about with Inquiries to Enlightenment, then the Heart of Asgard is going to purge the whole of the Nine Realms of all life. That's what the bargain is meant to prevent. An Inquiry can't be lawfully called such without the blessing of the Heart of Asgard. I bargained the raising of the shield for it to withhold its blessing. I upheld my end, so the Heart will uphold its end. This doesn't mean that political opponents of my father won't try to start an unlawful uprising," she explained. It hurt Loki to know that she was one of the only ones who didn't want her father's head on a plate. She didn't know how much longer she could shield him. It was growing harder to do as she had less time to do it. Very soon she'd be leaving. His protection would go with her.
.-.-.-.
We've angered the Heart?! That was a truly frightening thought for Odin. The Heart of Asgard was the literal heart of his realm. It alone was able to wield the full might of Asgard. That power was indeed enough to purge the other realms of all life. Odin always felt that it was Asgard's great might that both assured and consigned his bloodline to the role of King of the Nine Realms. It was more fearsome now to know that the Heart was wielding Celestial power. It opened up many questions about his own lineage, things he never would've thought to ask before. He hadn't known enough then. Odin still didn't know enough. How does Loki know this? Was it the Celestial Archives? Lady Audhumbla or Lord Ginnungagap? Who and how? Would the Heart be willing to speak with me?
Can we stop that? I don't know if we can. Director Fury distinctly didn't like the sound of this. Asgardians were powerful, and their technology was radically advanced. The thought that they not only didn't control their tech but could be destroyed by it wasn't a pleasant one. It wasn't even close to his expectations of a civilization as advanced as theirs. It made him question how they lost control of it. With an older race in play, he questioned if it was their technology at all.
.-.-.-.
"And that's why withholding the truth is still an intelligent idea because it prevents a civil war. That exposes all of the realms to being attacked from outside," Tony finished for her. "Which is where our bargain comes into play. You give me the truth and I don't give it to anyone else."
"I remember there being a little more to it than that," Loki said quietly.
Running his fingers down the side of her face, then Tony shrugged. His seidr pulsed out into her again. He wanted the truth, but he didn't want to hurt her getting it. He'd had enough of hurting her for the next few lifetimes. "You can hardly blame me for going after what I wanted."
.-.-.-.
The anxiety casually infecting his thoughts spiked up into discomfort again. Thor's mind immediately jumped to disturbing places. "I remember there being more," and, "Going after what I wanted," combined in incredibly troubling ways. Thor didn't like what he suspected. He wouldn't have ever thought that Loki would let that happen. He also wouldn't have ever thought that Loki would be desperate to engage an enemy with an Infinity Gem alone either. Truly, he thought that Stark was a better man. Thor vowed to himself that if he didn't have an answer by the time this was done then he was going to get one from Stark. I swear Stark, if you forced yourself on Loki, I will rip out your innards with my bear hands! All he could do was sit and watch. As a man used to moving on his emotions immediately; sitting, watching, and waiting was grinding on his nerves terribly. He wanted to go to Loki now. He'd wanted to go for a while now. He would wait. There was no other choice.
As he bristled at the words Odin's look hardened. What exactly do you mean by that, Stark? That his son was wed without his permission was bad enough. If his son was forced into marriage, then he wasn't going to waste time before he annulled the marriage. He ground his teeth a little more. Odin was still uncertain that he was going to be able to retrieve Loki. He didn't want to believe what he'd seen or what Frey said. He didn't want his son with Stark, but there was a distinct possibility that there was nothing he could do about it. If Stark was indeed the beast he feared, then even if he annulled the marriage he still wouldn't be able to pry Loki from Stark's grip. Even the might of Asgard couldn't accomplish that. Nothing could.
Alarm turned to outright displease as Frigga nearly scowled at the screen. She wanted to know what they meant by that because it sounded extremely disturbing. It grated on her nerves then that this man married her son without her husband's consent. She wanted the marriage annulled and Loki brought home to Asgard. Thoughts of Stark's fiery Restoration Spell drifted through her mind again. The odds in favor of them being able to remove Loki from Stark were low. That only grated on her nerves all the more. If she didn't have an answer for what they were discussing by the time this was done then she was going to demand one from Frey.
It was hard for Frey to not let his shoulders droop in defeat whenever he thought of their bargain. He didn't. His shoulders stayed back and his chin up. They're both trapped in that terrible holder's bargain.
.-.-.-.
Such a look of sorrow crossed Loki's face that surprised it Tony. "I'm so sorry Tony, I am. I didn't know that I was going to meet you when I came through the portal. If I'd known, I would have done things differently. I swear to you that I would have."
Dread snaked its way through Tony's veins, "What was the third bargain, Loki?"
"I used the compound's Bifrost to travel to the depths Niflheim, to the city of Helheim. I bargained with the Dead Lord. I asked for every soul who lost their life to the death I would be dragging behind me to be reborn in an Elder Realm. Lord Hela said she would bargain," Loki looked away. It was bad enough that she was being forced to tell him what she bartered away. What the Dead Lord wanted it for or her real reason for bargaining weren't didn't need to be revealed. She briefly considered telling him what she'd done to the witless Lord but reconsidered. Too many questions would arise from that. The first half was going to anger him enough. The second half wouldn't do anyone any good. It was enough that Lord Hela was dealt with.
"She said she would be willing to do this for me if I gave her two things in return. The first thing she asked for was the Casket of Ancient Winters. That was easy enough. She told me that the Casket would cover half of the souls, but to cover the other half, she would require a heartstring," Loki's voice had dwindled to a whisper.
No, no, no, this is not happening! The scar, but that was the reforging process! He did that to her. It was one heartstring, damaged, not two! "A heartstring, from what?" Tony asked with far more calm than he felt.
"From me," Loki whispered. She cleared her throat and put a little more force in her voice. It took effort to tell him this. "I'm a freak of nature, Tony. You know that. I had two. The Dead Lord argued that if I could give her one, then she could grant my request. I didn't have anything else to bargain with that she would accept, so I let her take it." Even knowing that she made adequate reprisal against Lord Hela didn't ease the pain she felt as she heard the grief and shock spreading through her husband's seidr.
