- Chapter 41 -
I should have said something. Hogun looked at Thor, at how his face was twisted in grief, at the tears on his cheeks. I should have said something, he thought as he looked away from his dear friend. I saw Prince Loki walk into darkness, into despair. He thought it was obvious that Prince Loki wasn't well. He knew that Thor never saw it, but he did think that Lord Odin and Lady Frigga saw. Thor was always so oblivious. The Lord and Lady shouldn't have been. Hogun didn't mind his companion's flaws. He guarded his companion's back so that nothing could ambush him. This was a peril he couldn't protect his dear friend from.
Hogun could see his mistake clearly. I allowed danger to come close to him. It's my fault he's hurt. I should have said something. He realized that if he'd pulled Prince Loki aside, spoken to him in private, perhaps this could've been avoided. A grimace twisted at his lips as he thought, I should have told Thor.
Thor had always held a deep love for his Little Brother. He knew Thor would've done something. Hogun was absolutely certain of this. Thor was always so oblivious but wouldn't be anymore. He knew why he hadn't spoken with Thor. It was a decision he'd made many years ago. His dear friend could be very overbearing when it came to his Little Brother. It came from a deep-seated desire to protect his Little Brother. Thor didn't always handle it well when he was younger. Thor was very jealous of anything taking up Prince Loki's time and had been possessive of his Little Brother for many centuries. Hogun frowned at the memories of when Thor was cruel to Prince Loki. There were many times. Hogun knew Thor didn't mean to be cruel. Thor only ever wanted what was best for his Little Brother. It was that intent that stilled his voice.
Hogun thought back and was still convinced that the intensity of Thor's feelings stemmed from Prince Loki's mysterious illness when he was a young child. Everyone heard the tales of the younger Prince who spent months at a time in the healing rooms, vomiting blood and close to death. Everyone heard the tales of how a very young Thor would spend every moment he could with his Little Brother. Everyone knew of how Thor was terrified that every day would be the day his Little Brother would die. Hogun understood why Thor was possessive. Thor was scared of losing Loki. Hogun understood. That didn't stop the thought. I should have said something.
Heimdall considered the facts as he knew them. It was disconcerting to think that there was a deadly peril to Asgard that he hadn't seen. I haven't seen many things. Being able to see so much had left him immune to many of the usual emotions people had. He observed people in their best moments, and in their worst. It was one of the reasons he'd never liked the younger Prince. Prince Loki remained unseen even as he walked next to Prince Thor. Heimdall always considered the younger Prince's hiding to be treasonous. It occurred to him that it might have been something much simpler. Embarrassment. Prince Loki's embarrassment has been clear throughout this, he thought. Heimdall pursed his lips as his thoughts shifted from their normal place. No one likes to be seen in their darkest moments. No one likes to have their humiliation aired out for all to see. This seemed like the true reason why he'd seen and heard so little from Prince Loki. The younger Prince had the ability to not be seen and used it. It didn't bother him to change his opinion of his Prince. If Heimdall was to protect Asgard then he needed to know the facts and act on them. It was a simple matter to accept new facts and fit them into his viewpoint.
From Clint to Director Fury to Clint again, Natasha's gaze traveled over the two of them. Clint looked grim now. That was better than before. Grim meant that he was thinking. That was good. Natasha would never forgive Loki for what he did to Clint, but she was starting to think that maybe Loki wasn't as bad as they'd thought. She looked down and quietly acknowledged that what Loki offered the people he killed was amazing. She knew people that would willingly eat a bullet just to be an Asgardian. Who wouldn't want to live for thousands of years in an advanced utopia free from disease and hardship? There were very few people that wouldn't take that deal. Loki wasn't free from disease and hardship. Is that why he made the deal because he understands the hardship of mortality and the pain of disease? An understanding like that could only be had by a far different, more compassionate man than the one she met.
Discretion reigned as Natasha observed the Asgardians. The reaction from Thor's parents to what Loki did was telling for the significance of the act. King Frey's reaction was still the most telling. King Frey wasn't surprised by Loki's declaration. He knew something about this already. She couldn't be sure if he knew how it happened, but she was sure he knew that it did. She would love to pick his brain for a few hours, but that didn't seem like a real possibility. It irritated her to have such a ripe source of information so close while she was completely unable to exploit it. Her body was almost itching to move, to begin the process of opening that resource. When she glanced at him again she saw he was looking at her in a rather pointed way. Natasha was almost embarrassed to be caught so easily.
She didn't like King Frey. Natasha was discomforted by a man who could so easily see her moving. This man taught Loki. I already made the mistake of underestimating Loki. I won't underestimate King Frey. Natasha still felt a knife sharp humiliation when she remembered how Loki manipulated her into causing Bruce to turn. He all but plainly said that he came aboard for the Hulk. She knew it was what he wanted, and she ran right to Bruce, armed and tense.
Since she was a child in the Red Room Natasha hadn't made such an amateur mistake. She'd gone over the exchange in her mind dozens of times since it happened. Never once had she come up with how he manipulated her so easily. Every way she thought about their exchange brought her to the same conclusion. It was an utterly pedestrian exchange. There was banter, then threats and promises. And spit. There was always spit. Natasha had more exciting interactions with other humans. She was left with the same troubling thought she'd had for years. They're just that much better than us.
The most troubling thing was how Stark hid this. Stark was a terrible liar. He couldn't even hide a package of rum flavored coffee from her. He did try from time to time. The thought that he'd managed to hide what Loki did, to hide Loki and more importantly their children was an unnerving one. She'd been out played by a man that she hadn't thought capable of lying properly. I didn't see him move. How could I not have seen Stark moving? How could I have missed him that badly?
When Natasha looked at him, did it again, and again, Clint saw her looking. He didn't blame her for being worried. He lost his focus earlier. It was back now, although it took him a few minutes to clear his mind. A grimace crossed his face, it was Lilith who'd taught him how to clear his mind and refocus. Not Lilith, Loki. The raging anger was cleared out of his mind. There was a relief in stopping trying to reach for it. It felt better to try to let it go. It felt wonderful to be able to focus on the mission again. Without the anger clouding his thoughts it was easy to assess the situation. Loki wasn't an enemy. Given what he'd done for Tony and the people he killed, Loki was clearly a useful resource. He needed to be recruited through Tony. SHIELD could benefit from someone that resourceful and dedicated. Am I really considering this? Is this the best way to proceed?
The memory of when he was sent to kill Natasha came back to Clint then. She'd already killed several of his friends. They were people he'd known for years. In that final moment when he held a gun to her head, he took a breath and offered her a different future. Clint was gratified when she accepted and excelled. Alongside of Laura, she was one of his best friends. He almost grimaced again as he thought of how close a friend Lilith had become. Laura was his partner in life. Natasha was his partner in combat. However, it was Lilith who was his partner in crime. Mischief and coffee were how they became friends.
It was easier for Clint to think back over the times he'd talked with Lilith since she came to work for Tony. Was that Loki trying to accept responsibility for his actions? Loki, as Lilith, was nothing but helpful to him and the Avengers. A small smile fell in place as he thought about it. Clint had no doubt that he'd try to put an arrow in Loki's eye if Loki approached as looking like himself. As an entirely different person, he was able to approach Clint and, and ... He helped me. I don't like that that help came from him. But he did help me. Clint looked at the screen. Perhaps it's time for another different future.
Director Fury looked around the room, "Is everyone ready to start again?" He wanted to get this show on the road again. There was intelligence to be gathered and he wanted it.
"Continue, Truthkeeper," Odin said quietly.
