- Chapter 44 -

"That concludes this file." The file ended abruptly so McCorrmick closed it quietly. His gaze fixed on his laptop. The confusion and growing distress at what he was doing were stowed in the quiet pace in his mind. Skuld rightly accused those gathered of a multitude of crimes. She graciously provided him with more than enough evidence of their guilt before the test commenced. Even though the evidence of Agent Barton's guilt was confusing, it didn't matter. She was an elder aunt, so her word was enough proof for him. The weight of their crimes was being laid bare as it should be. Punishment was needed to correct the course their mistakes set. Lessons needed to be learned so the mistakes, once corrected, wouldn't be repeated. All of these things were settled in his mind. None of these things settled McCorrmick's distaste at how this was happening. Something more like a being called to account before Eidesh and the council or even a military disciplinary hearing was what he expected. There should have been a listing of offenses, an explanation from the accused party on why the events happened, an official determining of guilt then the reading of what punishments would follow. This was supposed to be a smooth process. Simple. Cut and dried. Mostly painless. Being provided with proof beforehand left McCorrmick thinking that this would be easy to accomplish. How hard would it be to run a presentation? He did it all the time. Never once did he think that he'd be actively hurting people. The strange silent wailing coming from Queen Frigga was the real pain that the audible soft stuttering sobs were covering. The terrible wail overflowed with the boundless grief coming from her. A selfish emmiki wasn't who should have his pity. There was no stopping his own heart from feeling since hers was breaking right in front of him. A mother's love is endless, timeless. A small frown crossed his lips. And now she's remembering that. McCorrmick didn't think there was anything he could do for her, or any of them. The test was progressing. Their loyalty to Aidesh hadn't waned over the long years on Earth. Not even being forsaken could diminish their loyalty to their Lord and master, to their family.

A roaring rage was intermittently bursting loudly from King Frey. McCorrmick could see how the younger King was trying to reign in his emotions regardless of him being livid with the entire situation. A tremendous portion of his wrath was aimed at King Odin which was understandable. The elder King was guilty of a great many things. That was as far as his understanding went with the rest being nebulous respect for the attractive emmiki sitting next to him. The younger King also played a part in making the mess they were seeing. He too was guilty. However, of the two Kings he was the one who'd been working to redeem himself for several years. Another burst of rage from King Frey brought an urge from McCorrmick to reassure him that it would be alright, though he wasn't sure it would be. It was a passing desire that was almost instantly dismissed. All he could do was listen to the grief pouring out into the room. Easing that grief wasn't his place. When he heard Skuld snickering turning to a full-throated laughter he frowned more. The young man didn't know what his elder aunt could be laughing about. There was nothing funny here. People's lives were being ruined. In his opinion, she shouldn't laugh at that. His opinion didn't matter though. That was also his opinion.

The room suddenly strobed deep violet for the young corporal again. When the color cleared away he noticed something he hadn't before. There were new cracks in the sphere of silence surrounding the elder King. Through them McCorrmick could hear a roaring louder than that coming from King Frey. When he looked at King Odin he saw an older man trying his best to comfort his grieving wife while struggling with his own grief. There was more beneath it that gave him the troubling impression of something trapped within the old warrior. It was dormant when he first arrived. Whatever the thing was, it wasn't dormant anymore. The bounds of the miniature sun within the King's chest was stretching as it tried to escape. McCorrmick hoped that the roaring monstrous beast in the elder King wouldn't escape while he was there. Were this a beast outside of a man then the sarammr would be enough to handle it. Being that it looked like a beast within a man, he wasn't sure what he could do.

A quiet sigh came with McCorrmick thinking privately, What kind of test is this? How am I showing loyalty to Aidesh by hurting people? Is this just her testing our willingness to obey? I don't understand. They were still so many things to see. There was worse than this ahead, but he was already tired of hearing the wailing grief. The pain of it brushed up against him leaving him needing to stop it by making things better because it was a grief he understood. It wasn't something he wanted to inflict on others. Another quiet sigh slipped out of him as he continued to keep his thoughts to himself in fear. It's too late for them. It's too late for me. She's set me to this. I have to do it, …I have to make things worse. In that moment McCorrmick could hear his father's voice again. No matter the cost, you do what's right. A shrill peak in the sorrowful wailing almost caused him to cringe then.

Openly displayed grief wasn't normally acceptable for the Queen of Asgard to display. Despite this, Frigga was openly weeping against Odin's chest. No even his arms around her could bring her comfort. Grief and guilt poured through her burning as they went. Horror and fear edged both. My boy, my beautiful boy! More than a thousand years of history and memories burned in her mind. She could still remember the day Odin brought her Loki. His charming baby's smile was almost enough to mask how little he weighed. Frigga could hear the soft cooing as she had held him close and his little hands held tight to her dress. My boy, what have I done? She could still remember how he struggled through illness with a smile. There was so much spirit in his frail little body. When he was an older boy she would find him asleep at his desk bent over a tome that weighed more than he did. Frigga would gently gather him up so she could tuck him into bed without waking him. She could still remember watching him spar as an older boy. No matter how many times he was knocked to the ground he always got back up. She could remember how he'd been sent as diplomatic envoy of Asgard as a young man. It was a duty Thor was never trusted with. In Frigga's mind was an image of Loki standing tall and regal with a serene smile on the day of Thor's coronation. Despite Loki being on the same realm as her for the first time in years, Frigga had never felt farther from him.

What have I done? What have I done?! Odin kept his arms around Frigga, kept his face next to her head. The urge to drag her into his lap was just as powerful as when they were first married. Those were hard times. He would come home battle weary and covered in the dried blood of his enemies. There were many times that he didn't bother to do anything more than remove his helmet before he sat and held her. He needed the calm reassurance that being able to wrap himself around her provided. He deeply needed to remember what he was sacrificing for. In those days, the beast within howled for blood almost constantly. As he grew older the beast grew tamer. There was a time when he hoped that it'd gone to sleep, never to wake again.

The beast was howling, gnashing, and tearing at its confines. Odin wasn't sure it was ever going back to sleep. The temptation to wallow in the misery washing over him was enormous. Now is not the time for that. I am King. A King has no heart. A King can have no heart. That wasn't true; never had been and never could be. There were days he thought his heart was as deep as Asgard itself. Unfortunately, it was a place he could never go. There was a beast living there, one that would swallow him whole if he tempted it. Instead of temptation he stuck to the litany and let it guide him through difficult decisions. Through thousands of years of practice, he'd learned to grab a hold of his emotions, shove them down so he could think calmly, rationally. No matter how deep down he shoved them, there was no escaping them anymore. Odin allowed himself a brief moment for each one before setting it aside. The shame burned worse than the humiliation of his many failures. These were swept aside by the terror of listening to the detachment Loki spoke with. Terror flowed smoothly into horror at what his son sacrificed in his name. The urgent need to be up and doing something to fix this terrible mess came and went with a spike in his blood pressure. All of these were eclipsed by his pride and love for his son, for his Loki.

Even though he was certain that he knew, Odin still needed a name for the peril Loki faced. He couldn't move his armies without an enemy to engage. Dread snaked its way through him again. They weren't done yet. Every new revelation was more horrifying than the last and Odin didn't want to put too much thought to what was in store for them. What he needed was to gird himself for what was to come. If it were as terrible as what lay behind them then he'd need his strength for that. Frigga would need his strength. For centuries, he'd borrowed her strength in the hard times. It was time for him to return it to her.

Sitting back in his chair was all Frey could do at the moment. His calm was slipping away from him even as he tried to hold onto it. He wanted to scream and rage again. Then he wanted to indulge in every wicked vice Darkfire Caverns had to offer. Instead of those, he took a deep breath and held it while he tried to empty his mind. When he released it he didn't feel any better. All these years he'd believed it was that wretched bastard who broke Loki's mind and maimed her heartstring. You didn't tell me! I could have been working to find a way to heal you these past years. Why, child? Why would you not tell me? He couldn't be truly angry with her. He was angry with himself. He was angry with Odin. He was angry with the Dead Lord. He was angry with Skuld. More than anyone, he was angry with Thanos. Of all of them, it would be that last bastard who felt the brunt of Frey's wrath. When I find him, he thought, then I can exercise my wrath.

As he looked at Frigga, Frey despaired. There was no end to the depth of the grief wailing out through her seidr. Her every sob was another knife's jab in his chest. Her every tear another failure for him. The sound of her grief was a very similar sound to what he heard on the day of their parents' deaths. His hands were chained on that day. There was nothing he could do to stop it. All he could do was place himself between her and the monster that murdered their parents. In doing so, he made sure that their blood hit him instead of her. This allowed him to keep her from seeing the blows, even if he couldn't stop her from seeing the bodies. It was all he could do to take that horror for himself, to never be spoken of with anyone. Every day since then the urge to shield her had been a physical need. It was as urgent to him as breathing. Frey hated Skuld that much more in that moment. He was chained again. He couldn't stop these blows, couldn't even blunt them. The wrath burning in his chest burned brighter as he thought it. There's nothing I can do now.

As if ice flowed through his veins, Thor was numb, cold, and still inside. He felt like he'd taken a beating, gone up against something massive and lost. The hammer came down on him this time and he was crushed beneath it. Some distant part of him knew that when the storms came they were going to be legendary. That would be later. Right then, there was only blessed numbness. Every new piece that unfolded was more shameful and horrible than the last. Despite everything he'd learned he still felt like there was more on the horizon. This journey wasn't finished. Of the centuries of his memories, he could only see one. Only one memory burned brightly in his mind.

The day Loki came home.

No one had seen or heard from Loki in six years. It wasn't like him to be gone for more than two without word of where he was. Then he vanished. Their uncle said that even he didn't know where Loki went to. He was just gone. The first year passed swiftly, as did the second. Thor grew worried in the beginning of the third year. There was an itch in the back of his mind that something was wrong. In the beginning of the fourth year he went searching for Loki. He went despite knowing that if his Little Brother didn't want to be followed, didn't want to be found, then Thor wouldn't find him. No mage could be tracked if they didn't wish to be. There were too many magical means that let them slip away without notice. That didn't stop him from looking. It was in the fifth year that Thor's worry grew into anger. He and Loki had never been apart for so long. It unsettled him to not have Loki near, where he could set eyes or hands upon him. The worry and anger grew thick together. It was with this irrational mix of emotions that he'd rushed to his father's office upon hearing that Loki had returned.

The whole scene played out in Thor's mind, as clear as when it happened. He'd entered quickly, knocking the doors open in his haste. The Council of Lords scowled at him as he quickly closed them behind him. His Little Brother was right in front of him. He wanted to embrace Loki, to welcome him home then ask where he went and why he went alone, why he'd never even written. It was on the tip of his tongue, so he put his hand on Loki's shoulder to turn him, wanting to see his Little Brother again. Loki shrugged and moved away from him. "Not now, Thor," was all Loki said, he didn't even turn to look his Elder Brother in the eyes when he said it.

All of the worry Thor felt at Loki's absence, all the joy he'd felt at Loki's return faded beneath his sudden anger. How dare he?! The thought angrily filled his head. It was only then, in this anger, that Thor noticed Loki arguing with their father and the Council of Lords. Loki kept trying to tell them of some threat on Jotunheim, of an imminent attack, a peril to the Nine Realms. The Council of Lords kept interrupting, and their father wouldn't listen. Thor could still see it.

Lord Algrim laughed first, then the other two Lords as joined. Loki stood his ground though. "Laugh if you must, but our enemy is coming!" Loki told them.

Their father said that he hadn't seen anything, nor had Heimdall. There was no threat that he needed to be concerned with. Thor had never seen Loki so agitated. His Little Brother slammed him fist against the table hard enough to knock parchments to the floor. He was never so rude. He never raised his voice to their father.

Loki's last words on the matter drifted through his thoughts again. "The enemy is almost at our gates, and you would do nothing?"

The Lords laughed. Thor, much to his shame, laughed with them. His father's last words haunted him, "Remember your place, boy." With that, the meeting was done. Loki was dismissed.

Thor shared what happened with his companions while they ate in the dining hall. He could see how much of a mistake that was. Others overheard him talking. It only took a few days before the whole of Asgard was laughing at his Little Brother. When he went to see Loki in his chambers later on, his Little Brother was still angry. He told Loki that he shouldn't have tried to play a trick on their father, so Loki used his seidr to physically throw him out. He laughed, even then. Loki wouldn't speak with him for many more days. Thor didn't confess it to anyone, but he was afraid during those days that Loki would leave again without telling him. There were many times that he'd almost gone to Loki's chambers simply to hear him out. Thor thought that maybe if he listened to the jest, then Loki wouldn't be so angry at it not having gone off well. His Little Brother always hated to have his tricks spoiled. Unfortunately, Thor was still angry with Loki for dismissing him, so he never went to speak with his Little Brother. Loki never spoke of it again. Thor hadn't minded, he was happy enough to have his Little Brother back.

Nothing else mattered.