- Chapter 47 -

They'll pay attention to this one. McCorrmick clicked on the next file. "This file is from May 12, 2023."

Ten days ago. This had Frey's complete attention. Even knowing what was coming, it was still more pleasant than hearing the pain in his beloved sister's seidr that he could do nothing about.

.-.-.-.

Even though the crystal covered lights lining the hallway ceiling back to the master bedroom were off, the hallway was still illuminated. Sunlight pouring into through the windows in the very large living room lit the cream-colored hallway. Loki's bare feet made no sound on the dark brown stone tiles that covered almost all the floors in the main part of the house. She walked down the hallway towards the living room. The warmth left in the air by the sunlight was pleasant on her skin. Droplets of cool water were still occasionally falling from her short curly hair onto her shoulders. "Jarvis, my dear, are the kids having fun at the beach?" she asked. There was a pleasant tingle in her skin. The heat of the shower still clung to her damp skin. The sleeveless tunic she wore was clinging to patches of dampness but drying quickly as she moved. The low-slung jeans were snug against her hips and thighs. Loki lamented for just a moment that she wouldn't be able to wear this for much longer. She was already a month along and very soon the babe would begin to grow swiftly. She rested a hand on her belly and could feel the little life growing there. Growing and eating at her seidr.

"Yes, Madam. Jay says they're having a splendid time. He'd like to know if he's allowed to take them to lunch or not?" Jarvis replied pleasantly.

After a moment's consideration Loki smiled and told him, "He loves to spoil them, doesn't he? I'll leave it up to his judgment. I trust Jay." In due time, she thought of all her children.

"Yes, Madam," Jarvis said quietly. "He'd like me to inform you that he's cleaned them and is taking them to the diner," he added a moment later.

Loki laughed airily, "That was fast. Tell him I said to have a good time."

"Yes, Madam," Jarvis said quietly.

The familiar path Loki was careful to walk took her by the living room and to the grand piano Tony bought for her. The beautiful mahogany piano was sitting on the right side of the living room next to the spiral staircase leading to the rooms down the cliff face. Behind that staircase was the glass door to the large patio and play area that they kept for the children. It was a small park unto itself, with play equipment and even a small fort for them. The fort came from Frey when the triplets complained to him about not being able to adventure when they were at home. On the opposite side of the stairs was dark brown cube shelving with various knick-knacks and things. Across from the staircase and behind her was the large L-shaped sofa and coffee table. The coffee table was dark oak, while the sofa was dark brown leather and plush. One wall of the room was a bank of floor to ceiling windows with a magnificent view of the Pacific Ocean. A large wireless TV screen was built into one of the windows.

Loki's piano was one of many instruments he'd bought for her over the years. There were other musical instruments scattered around the living room as well. Tony tried every now and again to get her to move them down into one of the rooms that ran down the cliff face. She preferred having them in the living room. It allowed her to play her music while being able to watch the children play outside. Since she couldn't watch them that day Jay took them out. She ran her fingers over the piano keys without seeing them. The transmutation spell she was working on filled her thoughts. It wouldn't be complete for several more days, but she was already impatient for it to be done. She played a few notes from her favorite Mozart piece with one hand while she mulled over it again. The notes eventually drew her back to what she was doing. What instrument to play?

She only had time for one song before she had to go spend her daily time in the rose tank. Tony would probably be coming to get her for that very soon. She still needed him to get her into it. Doing it on her own wasn't possible yet. "Well, since the kids aren't here, and I have a little extra seidr today," a touch of mischief seeped into her voice then, "Let's make a little noise." Loki waved one hand in the direction of the other instruments while uncurling her seidr. Constructs of herself composed at each instrument. There were two different types of guitars, a drum set and a violin alongside of the piano. She sat down at the piano and ran her hands gently over the keys. "What to play," she wondered aloud.

As she sat at the keys, a sudden wave of nostalgia washed over her. She learned to play the bentsong in Asgard. It was like a grand piano but with three rows of keys as opposed to a piano's single row and a larger more curved body. She thought it might please her father if she learned to play. No matter how many pieces she wrote, or what styles she wrote them in, he never cared for her music. Father, I wonder what you're doing right now? I hope you're happy. I know you're safe. I wish I could play for you again.

Her hands moved of their own accord and her constructs played right along with her. Loki didn't mind the nostalgia. She wouldn't say it to Tony, but she missed her family. It wasn't very often, or for very long, but there were times when she missed them terribly. Over the years she'd learned not to say anything to her husband. To say he didn't like them was a grand understatement. It didn't matter in that moment. He wasn't there to interrupt her music or her memories. Loki let the music move her, so the song could flow forth.

"I am a lion," Loki began singing as her constructs played along. The lyrics flowed along about a lion of a man who craved freedom. The freedom was impossible which left the lion with nightmares and longing. Ultimately the song that flowed forth was an apology to the lion's daughter for his inability to change. The music picked up as the guitars grew louder. Loki stopped her soft singing and started speaking the lyrics. The lion continued to apologize even when it accepted that it was a lion and would remain one, no matter what it wanted. All the lion could do was watch his daughter from afar as she struggled without her father. It was a struggle the daughter accepted since she couldn't bring herself to force the lion to be what it couldn't be. The song rose with the chorus and the constructs sang with Loki. She stopped singing and began speaking again, all while her fingers flew over the keys. Her voice rose with the lyrics as she poured the love in her memories into the words. In the end the lion asked his daughter not to give in to the pressures of the world because he couldn't shield her from them. All he could do was hide behind his own pain as time passed by. All she could do was hide in their pretty house. She began the chorus again softly, and the constructs didn't join, "I am a lion." Loki closed her eyes and began the end of the song.

Loki sang loudly, throwing care to the wind. There was no one who would judge her as she finished the song. The guitars and drums played their last. Silence descended on the room. Loki tipped her head back with her eyes still closed. Her father was a lion and would stay one. She breathed deeply and pushed back the tears waiting to fall. It was too nice of a day to cry.

As she took her hands from the keys she spoke quietly, almost whispered, "I miss you, father."

The construct at the drums looked at her and said, "It's a poisonous relationship."

The construct at the bass guitar followed with, "It's a long dead relationship."

The construct at the violin added, "You should be rid of it."

As the fourth construct opened its mouth she held out her hand. The constructs ripped apart as they disintegrated back into raw seidr. It curled back into her core. She used the last of it to gently settle the instruments back before curling it all in again. A frown twisted her lips, "No one asked for your opinion."

"Are you well, Madam? Your pulse spiked sharply," Jarvis asked quietly.

Loki stood up from the bench and turned towards the camera mounted on the wall. Her pale white eyes didn't focus on anything. It was as galling as it ever was to lack control over her own mind, but she said, "Thank you, my dear, I'll be fine."