Prompt #2: Elliot takes Noah and Olivia along with his family to his family's cabin on the river on the first vacation Olivia has been on in years
Sunrises and Forever
~oOo~
"She's in her office, she just finished up in interrogation," Fin said. He shook his head. "I'm glad you're taking her away. She thought she should stick around to handle the outcome of this case, but I told her she's going on this vacation."
Elliot nodded reaching his right hand up to scratch the back of his neck. "From what I saw on the press conference, I thought it would be best to come pick her up. Knew the little girl's death would be hard on her. She sent me a text asking me to come after I had already decided and was on the way."
"Yeah, it was a rough one. Make sure she eats. All she had was peanut M&M's and a coke zero."
"I'll make sure she eats. Maureen has Noah and Eli. They're leaving from Queens first thing in the morning.
"That's good. She could use some one-on-one time with you. Make sure she relaxes; she really ran herself down trying to find that little girl on time." Fin said shaking his head. "I had to drag her from the little girl's body. She wouldn't stop trying."
"Despite this being a family vacation, she'll have plenty of time for relaxing. I'll make sure," Elliot said. "I'm glad you are here with her, looking out for her."
"It'll always be that way. When she does in fact retire, I will retire one day before her, so I never have to work here without her being in charge," Fin replied.
~oOo~
"We did what we could today. The outcome isn't what we wanted," Olivia said shaking her head. She rubbed a hand over her chest where the bullets had hit her hours earlier.
Amanda was looking through the blinds and she loudly sighed in disgust when she saw Elliot talking to Fin. "Looks like you have company. He always pops up when it isn't convenient," she said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
She looked in the direction Amanda was looking, and she could see Elliot talking to Fin. "Amanda, I really wish you would stop with all this," Olivia said shaking her head. "I asked him to come get me by the way."
"Are you really staying with Stabler?" Amanda asked, crinkling her face in disgust. "This situation turned awfully convenient for him."
A recent fire in her building necessitated her and Noah moving in with Elliot. Her head snapped towards Amanda. "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. For the past few days, we've been talking of making our moving in together permanent if you must know, not that it's any of your damn business," she spat.
"I… oh… wow… that's ummm. I don't even know what to say," Amanda said, stumbling over her words.
"Why do you always think the worst of him? You don't even know him," Olivia said shaking her head. "You of all people should be willing to give someone a chance."
"I talked to Barba. Sonny and I had dinner with him the other night…" she began but was cut off.
Olivia stepped forward until she was standing in front of Amanda and stuck her finger in Amanda's face. "I will say this once Detective Rollins. My personal life is none of your damn business. I consider you one of my closet friends, my family, but where my relationship with Elliot is concerned, I will adjust to your absence in my life than tolerate your disrespect. If you mention him to me one more time disrespectfully, we will only have a working relationship is that clear? You have no right to judge him. Shut your damn mouth about him."
Amanda took a step back and raised her hands. "I meant no disrespect, Liv."
"Amanda you and I both know you meant exactly that," Olivia said, shaking her head. "You always mean what you say. You know what, I don't need this after today. You were there with me Amanda; do you think I need this after today?"
"Liv, I'm sorry, really I am." Amanda took a step closer to her and put her hand on her arm.
Olivia shook off her hand. She opened her desk draw took out her glasses and began throwing some things into a tote bag.
"Come on, Liv," Amanda said with a chuckle. "Let's talk about this, let's resolve it."
She shot her head around towards Amanda and put her hands on her hips. "You've got to be kidding me, Amanda," she said, raising her voice. "How would you feel? You know what? From here on out, that is how I treat Sonny. From here on out he has no business here in my squad room if it doesn't involve a case."
"That's a little extreme," Amanda said.
"Oh, so I have to be nice, but you don't?" Olivia said, twisting her face into a sneer.
"I didn't mean it the way you obviously took it," Amanda said, shaking her head.
"Everything ok in here?" Fin asked, arms folded across his chest.
Elliot stood just behind him with a look of concern.
Amanda rolled her eyes and heavily sighed when she saw him.
"Just fine," Olivia snapped. "Perfectly fine. Detective Rollins will take call tonight." She shot Amanda a look daring her to say something.
Fin looked between the two of them. "Manda, what did you do?" he asked, shaking his head.
"Oh, and a new rule going forward. If Carisi doesn't have a case with us, isn't here for official business, he is not to be in my squad room, is that clear?" she said, looking between the two of them. "I will know if either of you disobeys that order so I wouldn't try me. Detective Rollins, how does nights and weekends for the summer sound? Think about what I said."
Amanda stood back with a look of shock on her face.
"Copy that," Fin said with wide eyes.
Elliot stood behind him, looking uncomfortable. She knew he likely caught on that Amanda had said something about him.
"Elliot, Fin, wait for me outside," she said, pointing towards the door.
They both filed out.
"When you want to stop being petty, making comments about my relationship, about the man I love, then Sonny can come back around after you apologize to Elliot," Olivia said in a stern tone. "Now, I am going home and going to bed because I have to get up early because we have a long drive."
Amanda simply nodded her head and turned and walked out of her office looking defeated.
Olivia picked up her back and walked out of her office closing the door. "Hey, El," she said with a tired smile. "Thanks for coming to get me."
Elliot slipped his right arm across her shoulders. "Give me that bag," he said reaching his free arm across to her.
She passed it to him, and they both walked to the elevator.
"Damn, you really stepped in it this time," Fin said with a laugh. "Not only did you step in it, you dragged it all over the place. We will all be smelling that mess for some time."
"All I did was ask if she was seriously staying with him and that it was convenient for him," Amanda said with a shrug.
Fin turned and shook his head. "You need to back off where he is concerned, it's just not your business."
Amanda sighed. "Don't you remember what she was like when he left?" she said in an exasperated tone.
"Yeah, I remember," Fin said shaking his head. "That's not your damn business, that's theirs. You don't know Elliot; you have no right to judge him. You have no idea what they're like together. I do. I lived it for 11 years."
"But Barba said..." she started.
Fin held up a hand to stop her. "I don't care what Barba said. I never really liked him to be honest. He's arrogant, pompous, and very self-centered. You need to stop with the comments, the looks and sounds, and your whole damn demeanor when Elliot is around. It really ain't your business."
"I think it is my business, Fin," Amanda insisted. "What about Noah?"
"Elliot Stabler is an amazing father. He loves Noah like he's his own. You're wrong, Rollins. Keep doing what you're doing, and you'll be her enemy," Fin said, walking away.
~oOo~
Elliot looked over at her quickly as he exited the garage. "I'm sorry you fought with Amanda," he said.
"I'm not," she said, shaking her head.
"Why's that?" he asked.
She sighed. "I'm sick of people criticizing the choices I make, and I'm sick of people assuming they know you, judging you, thinking they know anything about us," she said.
"It bothers me too, but honestly, I just feel like no matter what I do I can't change the opinion people have of me. You know me, Fin knows me, maybe I don't need to prove myself to people that don't matter, but then I think if they're important to you then they should be important to me as well and it makes me want to try and show them, they're wrong," he said, moving his hand palm up on the console in between them.
"You don't owe anything to any of them, El. If they can't see and get to know the real you, it's their loss," she said, reaching for his hand.
He sighed. He hates that the opinions other people have of him impact her and her relationships.
She squeezed his hand. "Don't feel guilty. Amanda was out of line," she said.
"How can I not feel guilty if me being in the picture impacts the relationships you have with people?" he asked.
"Well, because I'm not going to stop being with you because of what they think. Amanda tends to butt into my business when I don't want her to. To be honest, I actually think some of it stems from me not using her mother as my emergency sitter anymore. Now Noah goes to you or to Maureen when I'm in a pinch, and that's how I prefer things to be," she said.
"I just don't want you to end your friendships over me. They don't have to like me," he said.
"But they will respect you when I am around, they will respect our relationship," she replied.
"I'm sorry you had to deal with that today," he said.
She laughed. "You don't have to keep apologizing. Rollins was disrespecting you," she squeezed his hand.
"I just don't know what to say about it, to be honest," he said, shaking his head. "I just felt I should say something and sorry was all that came to mind."
"Was Noah excited to go to Maureen's? I know he'll love riding with Kieran and Seamus," she said.
"Oh god, Liv, he bounced in his seat the whole drive to Queens. He talked non-stop the whole time," Elliot replied, his face breaking out into a big smile.
"I bet he did," she laughed. "I can see him now. He was probably talking so fast."
"You hungry?" he asked.
"Yeah, I guess I should eat something," she said with a shrug.
Elliot pulled his SUV over into a rare open parking spot near Shake Shack on Columbus Avenue. He turned towards her and grinned. "You want a chocolate shake?"
She smiled over at him. "Cheese fries too?"
"Of course, cheese fries too. What do you take me for Benson?" he said as he opened his door. "Be right back."
~oOo~
When she woke, the room was in darkness and she was alone. Elliot was supposed to wake her when he got up.
She sat up and stretched her arms over her head. She could smell the fancy Italian coffee brewing that Elliot has come to favor and has also gotten her hooked on.
She reaches for her phone on the bedside table and checks the time. It reads 4:27 am. She knew he wanted to be on the road by 5:30 to get a head start on the traffic going into Connecticut.
She got out of bed and changed into the black Capri leggings and magenta V-neck tee shirt she laid out the night before. She slides her feet into her flip-flops and walked into the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and put her hair up into a ponytail.
She quickly got through her face regime and threw each item into her travel toiletry bag when she finished with it. She decided to forgo makeup since it was so early.
She exited the bathroom and tossed her toiletry bag into her Kate Spade tote bag before she zipped that close. She grabbed his zip-up hoodie and put it on.
She softly padded out of the bedroom, carrying her bag to see if she could sneak up on him, something she tried every day but never managed to do.
She quietly opened the bedroom door and stepped out. She turned around and closed it just as quietly. She quietly walked across the floor and put her bag down on the couch. He was leaning against the counter, wearing a blue short sleeve Henley and a pair of denim shorts that hit just above his knees.
The man looked good in just about anything he wore, but she did particularly love when he wore Henleys. The short-sleeved ones in particular. Not to mention his ass looked fantastic in those shorts.
"You know, if you didn't stop and admire my ass for so long you probably would've done it today," He said turning to look at her with a smirk.
"How did you hear me? I was very quiet!" she exclaimed, walking towards him.
"I saw your reflection in the microwave door," he replied, taking a step towards her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "What's your obsession with trying to sneak up on me anyway?"
She stood up on her toes slightly and tilted her head up to kiss him. "One day I'll sneak up on you," she said with a smile. She gripped the front of his shirt in both of her hands and said, "Maybe I'm just admiring what's mine and I like to do it without you knowing so it doesn't inflate your ego anymore."
"Oh, really?" His voice rumbled. He leaned down to kissed her this time.
"Mmhmm," she mumbled against his lips.
His right hand came up to the back of her head to cradle it as he deepened the kiss. They both broke away needing to breathe.
"That's not something you want to start if we're going to stick to your schedule," she said, patting his chest and looking up at him with raised eyebrows.
He sighed in protest. He leaned in, giving her one more kiss before releasing her. "I was going to let you sleep until 5," he said.
"I'm pretty sure I woke up because you weren't there," she said, smiling at him. "I got used to it."
"I got used to it too. I don't sleep very well when you're not next to me," he said with a grin. He walked around to the other side of the counter. He had two travel mugs laid out with their lids in front of them.
She watched as he poured coffee into both of the mugs. He put a splash of cream in hers and screwed the lids on both of the mugs. He quickly rinsed out the coffee pot and threw the used grounds away.
"Mind if we get on the road a little early?" he asked. "I already shut everything off, I packed Noah's extra inhaler and nebulizer stuff, I'm pretty certain I didn't forget anything important."
"I'm ready when you are," she said with a smile. She turned and walked to the couch and slung her bag over her shoulder.
They both walked out of the apartment and Elliot locked the door.
Olivia couldn't help the surge of excitement that ran through her. This would honestly be her first family vacation. She was so excited for Noah to experience it.
~oOo~
They were the first to arrive at the cabin in New Hampshire just as Elliot knew they would be. Everyone else would be arriving at various times throughout the day. He was happy for the extra alone time with her.
"We made pretty good timing with the drive. It's only just eleven now," Olivia said.
They had already unpacked the car and he'd taken on her on a quick tour of the cabin that had originally been his uncle's, up on Ossipee Lake. He was excited to show her the cabin and even more excited over showing her the nearby sites over the next 12 days that they would be here.
He loved that all his children and grandchildren would be there, but he was very excited about her and Noah being there as well.
"This cabin is beautiful!" Olivia exclaimed. "You're so lucky you get to come here whenever you want!" She was standing in the living room area of the cabin that had floor-to-ceiling windows and a set of doors that led out onto a deck that faced the lake.
He walked over to where she stood and wrapped an arm around her waist. She leaned into his side, gripping the back of his shirt in her hand. "If you don't mind getting up early one day, there's this spot I know where you can have an amazing view of the sun rising over the lake, and I have a vision of sitting down there," he pointed just past the deck towards the backyard, "with a fire in the firepit sitting there with you after all the kids have finished making their smores."
"All of that sounds perfect. I'm so excited for Noah to experience this. He's going to love it," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Well, I'm also excited for you to experience all of this too," he said.
"I am looking forward to everything, I just need Noah to have the experiences I didn't or the ones that I can't give him. We've gone on vacations just the two of us, but this is something I only ever dreamed of for him," she said softly.
He turned so he could look at her. The arm that was wrapped around her waist slid to her hip. His other hand came up to cup her cheek. "You're such a good Mom to Noah. You deserve this too Olivia. You deserve all the happiness in the world," he said, staring intently into her eyes.
"It's just no matter how hard I tried to give him everything, give him good experiences, I knew he was missing out on having a dad, having a big family. He's been so much happier since we started staying with you," she said, her eyes filling with tears.
"Oh, Liv," he said, pulling her into his arms. "I can't even begin to tell you how much I love having you both with me. I know you lost so much in the fire, but having you there, falling asleep next to you, and waking up next to you, I am so damn happy."
She tucked her face between his neck and shoulder. "I don't ever want to leave," she said.
"You don't have to leave. You don't have to ever leave," he said bringing his hand up to cradle the back of her head. "I will do everything I can to make sure Noah has an amazing time on this vacation."
"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you," she said. It came out mumbled but he understood what she was saying.
"God you're so wrong, it's me that doesn't deserve you. You deserve to have everything that you want," he said.
She pulled her head away from his neck and looked up at him. "I want you."
"You have me, for as long as you want me you have me," he said.
"I want you forever," she said.
"Forever then, I'm all yours for forever," he said, leaning down to kiss her
~oOo~
Over the next few hours, the peacefulness and quiet disappeared. Multiple cars now filled the driveway, and in the area just below the deck, there was a massive water balloon fight going on that was initiated by Dickie.
Dickie, Eli, Noah, Kieran, and Seamus were running back and forth pelting each other with water balloons.
The squeals and laughter of the boys filled the air. Olivia stood leaning on the deck watching them, sunglasses perched on the top of her head and a big smile on her face as she watched the kids play.
Elliot was prepping for their first dinner with Maureen and Kathleen. He was currently seasoning some steaks while Kathleen was chopping vegetables for a salad.
"Olivia looks really happy, Dad," Maureen said standing by the glass door, looking out on the deck.
Elliot smiled and looked out onto the deck. "I'm glad. She could use some fun and relaxation. She just finished a case that didn't end very well," he said, looking over at Maureen.
"Karl and I saw her at the press conference. What a shame that poor little girl," Maureen said shaking her head.
Kathleen looked up from where she was chopping a cucumber. "What happened?" she asked, a concerned look on her face.
"Let's not talk about it," Elliot said, his gaze glancing out at Olivia again. "It's really not a good story."
"Dad, go spend some time with Olivia," Maureen said. "When it's time to cook you man the grill and we can do all the prep."
"Steaks are ready for the grill. Leave 'em out right there on the tray. They need to be at room temp, not cold from the fridge," he said as he walked towards the fridge.
"Yes, chef!" Kathleen sarcastically exclaimed.
Elliot rolled his eyes at his daughter. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water and walked toward the door.
He opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door behind him.
"Hey," he said as he took several steps toward Olivia.
She turned toward him and smiled. "Hey," she replied. "Look how much fun they're having!" She pointed towards the boys and Dickie.
Elliot smiled. "They are having fun," he opens the water bottle and offers it to her first.
"Thanks," she said, taking a sip from the bottle before handing it back to him.
He took a sip before putting the cap back on. He reached his hand out to her. "Come for a walk with me?" he asked.
"Sure," she said, taking his hand.
He led her down the steps of the deck and away from the boys, toward the lake.
He still loved the way her hand felt in his, something he doubts he'll ever get over. The way their hands just fit perfectly together.
"It's so pretty here," she said.
"Used to come here to visit my uncle a lot when we were kids," he said.
He led her to a path just left of where the dock was. For a few minutes, they walked past trees, making their way closer to the water line.
"Ahhhh here it is, just like I remember," he said, coming to a stop in front of a large boulder. The front part of it met the water's edge. The top was flattened slightly but had an area that sort of resembled a big seat. "This was always my favorite spot here."
"It looks like a great spot to read a book," Olivia said with a smile.
"Think you can get up there?" he asked.
"Maybe not in these flip-flops, but I can try," she said.
He smirked at her before he gripped her around the waist with both hands, and effortlessly lifted her up onto the boulder.
"Elliot!" she yelped. "I am too big for you to do that. You're going to hurt yourself."
He just threw his head back and laughed. "Do you even know how much weight I can bench?"
"Such a damn show off," she said, shaking her head.
He smirked at her. "You love it, and you know it," he replied.
He climbed up onto the rock and sat back against it. He spread his legs and urged her back into the V of his legs and pulled her back to his chest.
He wrapped his arms around her, clasped his hands together, and rested them on her abdomen.
Her arms came up to rest on his. "So, how many girls have you taken up here?" she asked.
"You're the only person I've ever taken up here." His voice rumbles in her left ear. "Didn't want to share it with anyone else."
"But you want to share it with me?" she asked softly.
He nuzzled his face into her neck and shoulder. "I want to share everything with you," he replied.
"Everything?" she asked.
"Everything. I don't want you and Noah to leave. I want you both to stay," he said.
"I was so upset after the fire. We lost so much, but you've made it all better, Elliot. The way you've taken care of both Noah and myself. All that you've done for us. It means so much. You sharing your special spot with me, that means so much too. More than. You know. Thank you," she said. Her voice cracking with emotion. "Thank you so much."
"You don't have to thank me for any of that Liv," he said, holding her even tighter to him. "You never have to thank me."
"I'll admit, I was getting sort of sad lately hearing all the progress on my apartment. Every time the landlord would update me I would pretend to be happy but I was getting sad because I didn't want to leave. It's been all I could ever have hoped for, staying with you. It felt so good each day when I would leave work knowing I was coming home to you. My apartment never felt like a home. It was comforting, but when I come home at night now, I feel like I'm coming to a home," she said, lacing her fingers with his. "I think my home is wherever you are."
"What I've loved the most is the days I drive you into work. Even though I have to basically circle back extra, I love the time in the morning with you. I love starting my day with you. Coming home to you there, knowing I'm going to come home to eat dinner with you and our sons, it gives me something to look forward to," he replied.
"So we're staying then?" she asked
"Do you really think I would let you leave?" he asked.
She released his hands and shifted her body so she was sideways between his legs. She brought her hand up and put it on his cheek and pulled his face to hers. "My home has always been with you, and my heart has always been yours," she said before tilting her head up to kiss him.
"I'm so excited to spend the next 11 days with you. No work to tear either one of us away," he said. "Noah, Kieran, ad Seamus being here is another bonus."
She leaned her head against his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. "Concentrate on giving my boy an amazing 11 days of memories," she said.
"Oh I will," he said. "But I also plan on giving you some memories as well, Olivia."
~oOo~
Dinner that night was chaotic, confusing, and loud. She loved every second of it. Elliot grilled steaks, Bernie made potato and macaroni salads, Kathleen and Maureen made a vegetable salad and a fruit salad.
Noah taught Seamus how to do some dance moves and they both performed for everyone after dinner.
Kieran, the less outgoing of the two, watched from Elliot's lap. He kept shyly smiling at Olivia and would pull Elliot's arm in front of his face when she would catch him looking at her.
"He's so cute," Olivia said to Elliot.
Elliot grinned at her and reached for the beer bottle that was in front of her. "He takes after me."
She rolled her eyes. "You're not cute," she said.
He drank from the bottle, his eyes on her the whole time.
"You're a smug son of a bitch," she whispered. Grinning as she reaches for the bottle.
"Like I said earlier, you love it," he replied.
She saw Kieran's bright blue eyes peering at her from behind Elliot's arm again. She smiled at him and reached out and gently tapped the little boy on the end of his nose.
Elliot laughed when Kieran turned bright red and swiftly ducked back behind his arm. "I think he likes you," he said.
Both him and his brother were adorable little boys. But Kieran obviously got more of the Stabler genes and Seamus more of the O'Connor genes.
"He does take after you, you know." Olivia said softly. She reached out over Elliot's arm and smoothed the boy's hair.
"Yeah?" Elliot said.
"Yeah," she nods. "He has your eyes and a lot of your same facial expressions."
"He's less outgoing than his brother. It takes him some time to open up but once he does he'll talk your ear off," Elliot said.
He lifted Kieran fully onto his knee. "Hey buddy, tell Olivia what your favorite ice cream is," he prodded.
Kieran looked at her shyly. The tips of his ears are where the blush begins and quickly spreads to his plump cheeks.
"What's your favorite flavor sweet boy?" Olivia asked, reaching out to run her thumb over his cheek.
"I love mint chocolate chip and I like white chocolate raspberry," he said, looking down at his feet, his face turning an even brighter shade of red.
"I love both of those flavors," Olivia exclaimed.
Elliot smiled watching her interact with his grandson. "I think we might even have both of those flavors in the freezer," he said.
"We have s'mores stuff too!" Kieran said excitedly. "Mom bought us special things for marshmallows to put in the fire."
"You gonna have some s'mores with us Liv?" Elliot asked.
"Well, I don't know I'm awfully full after dinner," she said, putting a hand on her abdomen.
"Oh, but you have to!" Kieran exclaimed. "Grandpa said you liked chocolate, so we brought lots of it!"
"Yeah Liv, you have to!" Elliot insisted. Smiling over Kieran's head at her. Two pairs of identical blue eyes sparkled at her.
"Well, I guess you're both right," she said, smiling back.
"See? I knew we could convince her with the chocolate," Elliot said nudging his grandson.
"Nah, I'm just a sucker for those Stabler blue eyes," Olivia said with a big grin.
"Is that so?" Elliot asked.
Olivia rested her elbow on the table and then leaned her chin on her hand and looked at Elliot. "Mmmhmm," she said.
"Well, what else can these baby blues get you to do?" he asked with a smirk.
She smiled at him and raised her eyebrows. "Maybe I'll show you later."
~oOo~
Several hours later, the younger boys were huddled around the fire pit roasting marshmallows on the skewers Maureen had bought for them.
"Liz, you can't even make s'mores as good as I can," Dickie challenged.
Lizzie rolled her eyes at her brother. "I can do everything better than you."
"Is this what we're in for?" Karl asked Maureen, gesturing at Lizzie and Dickie.
Kathleen laughed. "Karl, don't let them fool you. If any of us tried to get in on this they would double team us all. This is a trick. They're trying to get us involved in their shenanigans."
Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "They're all insane when they're together like this," he said.
"It's great," she said with a smile. "They're enjoying spending time together."
"Sometimes it worries me when they're all together like this," Elliot said with a laugh.
"How do you like to make s'mores, Livy?" a small, quiet voice asked her.
She turned to see Kieran standing there holding out a skewer to her.
She smiled at him. "Honestly, I've never made one before," she said.
Elliot squeezed his eyes shut, not realizing she probably didn't have that childhood experience. "Hey kiddo, why don't you show Livy how to make one?" he suggested.
Kieran held out his hand to her.
She took his hand and got up from the bench and Kieran led her over to a chair by the fire pit.
Noah and Seamus were thick as thieves already on their third or fourth s'mores. They were loudly talking about Minecraft and not paying attention to anything else around them.
Olivia sat in the chair and pulled Kieran into her lap. Kieran started to tell Olivia how to make a s'more and told her how to safely roast her marshmallow.
All the adults watched in awe as Kieran O'Connor, the shyest little boy in the world taught Olivia Benson how to make a s'more.
Elliot watches, eyes transfixed on Olivia and his grandson. He's leaning forward with his hands on his thighs.
Maureen watches with tears in her eyes, and her hand pressed to her chest. She's heard the concern Kieran's teachers have expressed over how quiet her son is, how he is so different than his twin brother.
Dickie has subtly pulled out his phone to record, while Karl the professional photographer not so subtly pulls out his camera and starts snapping pictures.
Olivia follows Kieran's directions, and together they make s'mores. After they make them, Olivia continues to ask Kieran questions such as his favorite color, favorite movie, his favorite cereal.
Kieran stares at her with a smile on his face, answering all of her questions and looking up at her with an expression of awe on his face.
Kathleen walks over to Elliot and wraps her arms around him from behind. "Leave it to Olivia to get him to finally open up," she said.
His hand comes up to cover both of Kathleen's. "He's been watching her all day. I had a feeling he had a little crush on her," he said with a smile.
"She is just doing for him what she's done for all of us. Helping him find the pieces of himself that were always there," she said.
"Mom?" Noah called out running over to Olivia. "Can I play Mario Kart with Seamus?"
Olivia glanced over to Maureen and saw her nod. "If it's ok with you, he can stay in with the boys. I can help get him ready for bed when I get the boys ready."
"Yeah, that's fine. Just be good and listen to Maureen. When she said lights out, you listen," she said pointing her finger at Noah.
"Ok!" Noah said excitedly. "Kieran wanna play with us?"
Kieran nodded and got up from Olivia's lap.
"Kieran thank you so much for teaching me how to make s'mores. Can we make some more tomorrow?" She asked, big smile on her face.
The little boy blushed and nodded with a smile "Maybe we can try with Reese's cups or Oreos!" he said excitedly.
Olivia's eyes lit up. "We will have to make one of each and see which is the best," she said.
"I can't wait!" he said. "Goodnight, Livy," he said, reaching his arms out to hug her.
"Goodnight, Kieran," Olivia said with a big smile. Clearly already smitten with the young boy.
"Goodnight, Mom." Noah called out throwing his arms around Olivia.
"Good night, my sweet boy," she said. "Please be good."
"I will, Mom!" he yelled as he ran towards the house.
"Noah, wait!" she yelled. "I'll be right back," she called to Elliot. She followed Noah into the house.
Maureen stood and walked over to Elliot. "Dad," she exclaimed tears streaming down her cheeks. "He hasn't done that with anyone. He sat there and had a big conversation with her."
Elliot stood and wrapped his arms around Maureen. "I know, Honey. That was pretty emotional to watch," he said.
"I'm hearing all his teachers say maybe he's autistic or learning disabled, but I know how smart my boy is. He just does things in his own way. But what he just did with Olivia he hasn't done before," she cried.
Olivia came back out zipping up a hoodie that she had thrown on. "Is everything ok?" she asked, concern evident in her features.
Maureen let go of Elliot and spun around to throw her arms around Olivia.
Olivia's eyes went wide with shock before she brought her arms up around Maureen. She looked at Elliot questioningly.
"Kieran doesn't ever open up to people the way he just did with you Liv. There's been a lot of pressure from his teachers pushing the autism and learning-disabled diagnosis. The way he sought you out and sat and talked with you is a pretty big deal," Elliot explained.
"Thank you," Maureen said, still holding on to her tightly.
"Ummm, you're welcome but I didn't do anything really," she replied.
"You really did, Olivia. That was huge for my boy to do that," Maureen said. She released Olivia and stepped back wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Oh, don't apologize. I just didn't think I did anything special," Olivia said with a shrug sitting back down on the bench where she sat with Elliot earlier.
"You may think you didn't do anything, but Kieran just doesn't do things like that so it's a big deal to us. He trusted you and felt comfortable enough to initiate a conversation with you," Elliot said walking over to her and sitting next to her.
"Oh," Olivia said as she started to understand. "I didn't have that problem with Noah. I can definitely see how it's a big deal. Sorry I wasn't getting it at first."
"Dad?" Eli called out from the sliding door. "Grandma is smoking pot on the porch swing."
"Oh god," Elliot said, rolling his eyes. "Excuse me." He got up from the picnic bench and hurried up the deck steps.
Olivia looked up and saw that the rest of Elliot's kids cleared out. She got up from the bench and went to sit on a lounge chair that had been previously occupied by Kathleen.
She sat in the middle section of the chair and pulled her legs up and rested her chin on her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs.
She was amazed by the stars. How clear the sky was. You couldn't see the sky like this in the city.
~oOo~
"I don't care what you say, Elliot. I'm 82 years old. If I want to indulge in a little pot, I will," Bernie said with a scowl.
"Mama, you can't. It's not legal in New Hampshire. Now I want it all," Elliot insisted.
"You're such a damn cop, Elliot!" Bernie yelled.
"Mama, not with the kids in the house. That's the rule." Elliot held his hand out. "I'm upset you had this in Lizzie's car."
Bernie scoffed. "Elliot, where do you think I got it in the first place?" she said, shaking her head.
Elliot squeezed his eyes shut. "I should've known," he said through clenched teeth.
"Well before you go and get mad at her. She didn't give it to me, I stole I from her. She doesn't even know I have it," Bernie confessed.
"I want it all, Mama. I mean all of it," Elliot said exasperatedly.
Bernie reached into her pocket and pulled out a little metal container. "That's all of it," she snapped. "I've lived my life why can't I just have my fun?" she grumbled as she walked off towards her bedroom mumbling about her cop son and his cop girlfriend trying to make her stay within the lines.
Elliot sighed and shook his head. "Eli, where is Lizzie?" Elliot asked.
"LIZZIE," Eli yelled out, not looking up from his phone.
"I could've done that!" Elliot said throwing his hands up in the air.
Lizzie came walking in from the kitchen holding a deck of cards in her hands. "You change your mind, Eli? You wanna play?" Lizzie asked.
Eli pointed his thumb at Elliot. "Dad's looking for you," he said, eyes still on his phone. "But yeah, maybe I'll play."
"What's up, Dad?" Lizzie asked walking towards him.
He held out the metal container. "You missing something? I just took this from your grandmother," he said, reaching a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck.
Lizzie looked wide-eyed at the container in his hand. "Dad, I didn't know she had it," she said.
Elliot sighed. "I know, she said she stole it from you. I can't believe I'm going to say this. I don't care what you do with it as long as it's away from your grandmother, Eli and the kids," he said. "If this is only the first day of vacation what will tomorrow be like?"
Lizzie stepped toward her father and took the metal container from him. "I'm sorry…" she began.
Elliot held up his hand to stop her. "You're an adult, let's just leave it at that. However, it is illegal to have that in your car and in New Hampshire in general. I don't want to discuss this further and please just make it disappear."
Elliot walked away leaving his shocked daughter staring after him.
~oOo~
Olivia heard the sliding deck door open and then close. She knew it was Elliot's footsteps coming down the deck steps.
She turned her head to the side to look at him. "Hey," she said with a smile.
"Hey," he said with a sigh. He held two beer bottles in his hand. He walked over to the chair and sat. He placed the beer bottles on the ground and reached out wrapping his arms around her. He pulled her up the chair and against his chest.
She smiled, closed her eyes and made a contented sound as she leaned back against him.
"Why are you out here all by yourself?" he asked. He reached his hand down for one of the bottles and twisted the top off and took a sip from it. He held the bottle in front of her and she wrapped her hand around his and brought it to her lips and took a sip.
"Just looking at all the stars," she said. "There's so many of them."
"The sky is so clear tonight, perfect night for stargazing," he said. "Kieran sure likes you."
"I still don't think I really did anything special," she said, taking the bottle from his hand and sipping from it.
"Well, even if you didn't do anything special, he feels comfortable opening up to you. So, to all of us that's a pretty big deal. Maureen has been very worried about him. When Kieran and Seamus were born, Kieran wasn't breathing when he came out. The doctors didn't think he would pull though at first. He's always been a bit behind, and some teachers and doctors think it's because of that. I always just thought he was a shy, quiet kid. Mama always said he reminds her of me when I was his age," Elliot said.
"He's just shy and a little quiet I think. Who knows, next year he may be the kid that talks your ear off," she said, lacing the fingers of her left hand with his.
"Well he has the IEP at school, speech classes, and extra reading classes. He barely has time to be a kid with all this extra stuff."
"How did I miss this about him? I never noticed how quiet he is, and now I feel bad," she said.
"I think Seamus makes up for Kieran being so quiet," Elliot replied.
Olivia thought back to the recent family dinners she missed. In the 5 weeks since her and Noah had started staying with Elliot, she's missed all but one because of work. From being short-staffed and getting called away on cases.
She made a mental note to try and be more present. Maybe have Fin take a little more onto his plate.
"El?" she asked.
"Hmmmm?" he asked as he brought the beer bottle to his lips.
"Is your Mother really smoking pot?" she asked curiously.
Elliot groaned, mumbling about his crazy family before he answered her. "Uhhh no she's not. I stopped it before she got going," he said with a sigh.
"I love you and your crazy family," she said, shifting her body so she could look at him.
He put the beer bottle down and brought his right hand up to cup her cheek. "My crazy family is your crazy family too," he said with a grin before he leaned his head down to kiss her.
"Oh sure," Bernie said loudly from the deck. "I can't smoke a little pot, but my cop son and his cop girlfriend can make out like teenagers in a lounge chair. You don't care about the kids walking in on this though, do you?"
They hadn't really even kissed before they both sprang away from each other.
"Mama," Eliot exclaimed. "You need to calm down."
Olivia pressed a hand to her mouth to muffle her laugh and pressed the other to Elliot's chest to push herself up so she could get up from the chair.
She looked towards the deck and saw Bernie with her arms folded across her chest, shaking her head.
Elliot quickly got up from the chair. "Sorry," he said to Olivia.
"Elliot, I don't like it when you use that tone with me!" Bernie said.
Elliot shook his head. "Mama, you need to calm down. You're not smoking any pot in or around this house," he insisted.
"What, are you going to arrest me?" Bernie said, raising her voice and throwing her arms up into the air.
"I gotta get her calmed down," Elliot said, putting his hand on Olivia's arm.
Olivia nodded. "Ok, no problem," she said.
"You shouldn't be out here alone, there's all kinds of animals, big problem with moose and bears up here," he said.
She looped her arm through his. "This is why I don't leave the city often," she said with a laugh.
~oOo~
The next day dawned hot and muggy right from the start.
It was only 12 pm and all the kids had already been swimming in the lake for hours, with no looks of them getting up anytime soon.
It had taken a lot for Olivia to put on a bathing suit. The navy tankini set wasn't anything special. The bottoms were a solid navy blue, and the underwire top has blue and pink flowers scattered all over the front and back. There was a blue tie in the front at the bust line that adjusted how much cleavage the suit showed off.
It was a modest swimsuit without being too modest, yet she still felt slightly self-conscious in it.
She watched as Elliot stood in the water up to his thighs and took turns throwing Noah, Kieran, and Seamus up over his head into the water. She could hear the yells and excited screams from each of them.
Elliot's booming laugh could also be heard, you would wonder who was having more fun the kids or Elliot.
"Here Liv, try this." Dickie passed a red solo cup to her.
She crinkled her nose. "What's in it?"
"It's basically a Mai Tai," he said with a shrug. "My secret recipe. It has pineapple and mango and a few secret ingredients."
"Is there vodka in it? I can't drink vodka," she said, shaking her head.
"There's definitely no vodka in it," Dickie assured her.
She reached out and took the cup that he had garnished with pineapple and maraschino cherries on a toothpick. She took a sip. "Mmmmm. That's so good," she exclaimed.
He held out his own cup to clink with hers and said "Cheers." With a big smile on her face.
Lizzie came walking up and flopped down next to Olivia. "You better have one of those for me," she said, looking at her brother expectantly. "That's the one you wanted to make for the Fourth right?"
Dickie nodded as he reached into the cooler next to him. He filled a cup with ice and some of his Mai Tai mixture. "Let me know if you think it needs anything."
Lizzie took a sip. "Oh, Dickie you did good!" she exclaimed. She glanced to the right and her eyes widened and she laughed.
"What's so funny?" Dickie asked.
"That guy over there is staring at you Liv," Lizzie said as she tilted her head at a guy sitting on a towel about eight feet away from them.
"He's not just looking; he's basically undressing you," Dickie said with a grimace.
Olivia sipped again from the cup. The drink Dickie gave her was really good. One of those summery drinks that tasted so refreshing one could easily get lost in the taste and drink too much.
Her phone chimes beside her, she reaches for it, and sees a text message from Rafael. She sighed before she pressed the message, instantly knowing she will regret looking at it.
R: Did you really ban your ADA from your squad room? Not a very good career move Captain.
She could feel her anger building. "Son of bitch," she muttered.
Dickie turned his head towards her. "Are you ok?" he asked.
"Yeah, Liv everything ok?"
"Someone is just trying to stir things up," she said shaking her head. "You got a refill for me?" she asked holding out her cup.
"Coming right up!" Dickie said taking the cup from her.
She started typing out a response to the message.
L: Not that it's your business, but I didn't ban him.
His response came almost immediately.
R: You banned him because Amanda voiced her opinions about your bully boyfriend.
L: Please Rafa, you really need to stop with this.
R: I can't believe you moved in with him, you brought your son on vacation with him.
L: Ok, now I am blocking you. I asked you to stop.
She gritted her teeth. She took a screenshot of the texts. She scrolled through her phone looking for Fin's number.
She started typing out a text.
L: Think you can take care of this for me?
She attached the screenshot and pressed send.
Almost immediately Fin responded.
F: I'm on it. Don't worry, I got you. No one will bother you again.
She quickly blocked Rafael's number and tossed her phone back onto the towel. She could feel her anger festering.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt," an unfamiliar voice said.
Olivia, Dickie, and Lizzie's heads all turned toward the unfamiliar voice.
A man smiled down at them.
"What can we do for you?" Dickie asked.
The man laughed. "Well, it's more so what you can do for me," he said, pointing at Olivia.
"Me?" Olivia said with a frown.
"Yes, you," the man said with a grin. He stepped closer and squatted down in front of her.
"Oh god," Lizzie said, a look of disgust forming on her face.
The man leans even closer and pushed his sunglasses up on his head.
"He's really gonna hit on you with Dad right there? I know he saw you with dad earlier." Dickie muttered from beside her. He shot a glance towards the water and saw his father standing with his hands on his hips watching.
Olivia reached for the cup Dickie had refilled and drank half of it in one sip. After that text message, she wasn't in the mood for this guy flirting with her.
She smiled up at him. "What's your name?" she asked.
"My name is David," he said with a smile. "What's yours?"
"Let's cut straight to the point David." She looked behind him and could see Elliot walking towards them with his jaw tight.
"Straight to the point huh?" David asked with a smirk.
"Yes, straight to the point." When Elliot was just a few steps away she continued. "I'm not really sure what you're hoping to accomplish here, but whatever it is, it's just not going to happen." She shook her head and brought the cup back to her lips and finished it.
Dickie and Lizzie both laughed loudly next to her. David stood up with a frown on his face and awkwardly looked from Dickie and Lizzie and then to Olivia.
"There a problem here?" Elliot nearly growls, his blue eyes flashing.
Olivia smiles behind her sunglasses. Secretly Elliot's jealousy was always a turn on for her. The two drinks having made her slightly tipsy, also added to it.
"This is David," she said, smiling up at him. "I'm not sure what he wanted, or what he was trying to do but I just told him it wasn't going to happen."
"Did you?" Elliot asked, his face breaking out into a smirk.
"Mmmhmm." She reached into her cup and brought the piece of pineapple to her mouth. "I did."
Neither of them noticed as David awkwardly walked away.
Elliot sat down next to her. "What have you been drinking?" he asked with a grin.
"Mai Tais," Dickie said. "I'm testing out my 4th of July drink."
"So, you decided to test it out on Liv?" Elliot asked, purposely knocking his shoulder with hers.
"Well, yeah," Dickie said with a shrug.
"It's very good, you should try it," Olivia said, smiling over at him.
"Seems like you're enjoying it," Elliot replied, smile getting bigger.
"Two," she said holding her fingers up, "I enjoyed two."
"I bet you don't even care about that person trying to stir things up now huh?" Dickie said with a smile.
Elliot frowned. "He was bothering you?" he asked pointing towards David a few yards away.
Olivia reached out and grabbed his arm as he started to get up. "Not him, El," she said shaking her head. "He was just trying to talk to me, I got a text message that I didn't like from someone."
He turned towards her. "From who?" he demanded.
"It's not important," she said, shaking her head.
Dickie reached for her cup and refilled it from the pitcher in the cooler and filled up another cup as well. "Here try it, Dad."
He handed Olivia her cup and one to Elliot.
Elliot reached for the cup Dickie held out to him and took a sip. "That's pretty good, just really sweet."
He looked over to Olivia and watched her sip from the cup. "Slow down there, Captain," he said with a grin.
"I'm just enjoying myself," she said, smiling over at him.
"Evidently you're also attracting all kinds of attention as well," he said, shooting a glare over towards the area David had walked back to.
"I'm going to go make another batch for later," Dickie said. He grabbed his empty pitcher and started walking back to the house.
"I'm going to take the boys for ice cream," Lizzie said, jumping up from where she sat. She flicked her ponytail over her shoulder and looked down at Olivia. "Is that okay if Noah comes too?"
Olivia nodded. "Want me to give you some money for him?" she asked, smiling up at Lizzie.
"Oh, don't worry about it."
"I only want your attention though," Olivia said grinning at Elliot.
"Oh, you definitely have my attention," he said, leaning towards her. "But, I want to know more about this text message."
She sighed. "I don't want to talk about it. Can we just drop it? I asked Fin to take care of it and I know that he will," she said, looking down.
"You also know he will tell me, right?" Elliot asked. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side.
Olivia laughed. "Sometimes I think he's more loyal to you than to me." She sighed again.
"I don't want it to hurt your feelings. Well, ummm, remember the argument I had with Amanda?" she said.
"Yeah, I remember. You were upset about it afterward," he replied.
"So, I guess Carisi told Rafael about it, and about me saying he wasn't welcome in my squad room if it wasn't case related until Amanda stops being rude to you," she said.
"Barba? Rafael Barba?" he asked.
She could feel his arm tense where it was wrapped around her. She tilted her head to look at him and could see his jaw clenched.
"Yes," she said. "But El, he only did it to get a reaction out of me in the hopes of getting one out of you. Fin is going to handle it for me. I'm not replying to him, I blocked him."
He sighed. "Liv, you didn't have to do that. I just find it ironic that he hates me more than I hate him, when I've never really done anything to him," Elliot said looking out over the lake with a sigh.
"Well, that may be my fault." Olivia said shifting around until she was in front of him on her knees. "It doesn't matter what he thinks."
His gaze shifted back to her. "Doesn't it though Olivia? He's your best friend, he's important to you."
"You're my best friend," she said softly, shaking her head. "Rafael is, was a great friend. I got extremely close to him, but he wants more than a friendship and I didn't want that with him."
"So, what does he want me to react to that?" Elliot asked incredulously. "Wants me to get mad and confront him?"
"I think that's exactly what he wants," she said, reaching out to grasp his hand in hers.
His fingers curled around hers. "What did he say?"
She shook her head. "I told you." Her gaze shifted down to their joined hands.
"Olivia," he said squeezing her hand. "Tell me. I can tell you're holding something back. Don't spare my feelings, just tell me."
She sighed. She reached for her cell phone and opened her text messages. She selected the message from Rafael and handed her phone to him.
He reached for her phone with his free hand. She watched his face fall, and his body tense up even more. He shook his head. "Why do all your friends other than Fin think so badly of me? Am I always just gonna come across as the bully? Isn't this message here bullying?" he said.
"You're not a bully," she said, shaking her head. "You've never been a bully. My relationship with Rafael is one I doubt will ever be the same. That day he said I project my growing up without a father onto you and our relationship."
"He said what to you?" Elliot insisted. "What gives him the right to judge me and our relationship? What does he know about our relationship?"
She gripped his hand tighter and moved closer to him. She brought her free hand up to his cheek. "He wants you to react so he can say he's right. As hard as it is, El, don't give him the satisfaction. I'm reacting enough for us both. I was furious when he said that to me. Honestly, it did push me. It pushed me to go to you, to admit what I've always known."
"There's a lot I could say." He shakes his head and briefly looks back towards the lake. "It bothers me that he thinks I'm a bully. It bothers me a lot."
"You're not though." She moves closer to him. "I don't care what anyone else thinks. I told you, they don't know you and it's their loss."
"These are people that are important to you," he said.
"You are important to me," she said with a smile. "No one, regardless of how important they are to me has the right to disrespect you and our relationship."
He sighed. "But…" he started and stopped.
"El, do you really think I care what they think? Rafael isn't perfect and Amanda…Let's not even start with some of her transgressions," she said.
His gaze swings back to meet hers. "We all have our own transgressions," he said quietly.
"Yes," she urged. "Yes, that's right, and that's what they both forget. Can we stop talking about this? I don't want it to ruin any more of our vacation." Her hand was still on his face, her thumb caressing back and forth over his cheekbone. "Don't let people that can't see the good in your waste any more of our time."
He smiled at her. "You're right," he said, leaning closer to kiss her.
"I know I am," she said with a grin. "I'm always right."
~oOo~
When she opened her eyes she knew it was early. She was pretty certain she woke up because Elliot wasn't in the bed.
She stretched her hand out to touch the sheets on his side of the bed. They were still warm, so she knew he hadn't been gone long.
She sat up in the bed and swung her feet to the floor. She reached to the nightstand for her phone and saw that it was just after 4 am.
She heard muffled voices and could tell it was Elliot and Bernie. Bernie sounded upset.
She got up from the bed and quickly pulled on a pair of cropped leggings. She picked up the bra off the floor that Elliot had thrown across the room the night before and pulled his t-shirt off.
She grabbed a tank top and hurriedly put both on. She shoved her feet into her flip-flops and exited the bedroom.
The house was dark, everyone else was likely still asleep. She quietly walked down the hallway and into the kitchen where she heard the voices coming from.
Bernie was walking back and forth holding a spatula in her hand. "Elliot you don't understand. We have to get ready. There's a lot to do today," Bernie said in a frenzied tone.
Elliot rubbed a hand over his face. "Mama, it's okay. We will be fine. Please just try and relax and go back to bed," he pleaded.
"Everything ok?" Olivia asked, walking further into the room.
"Hey," Elliot said with a sigh. "Sorry if we woke you. Mama's not having a very good night."
"That's ok. Can I help?" she asked, resting a hand on Elliot's bicep.
He closed his eyes and moved his head to the left and to the right. "Please. I can't get her to listen to me. I'm trying to get her to take one of her anti-anxiety medications." He opened his eyes and gestured to the counter where there was a bottle of pills and a glass of water.
"Why don't you make us some coffee El. I got this," she said with a smile.
He looked at her with a thankful expression on his face. "Thank you," he whispered.
"No need to thank me. Make us some coffee and we'll sit outside and drink it," she said with a smile.
He leaned closer to her kissing her cheek. Before turning and walking toward the kitchen counter.
"Bernie, what are you doing up so early?" Olivia asked. Putting her arm around the older woman's waist.
"What do you think I'm doing up?" she asked shaking her head. "It's the 4th of July. There's so much to do. We have to put the flags out for my Grandaddy, my Daddy, my brother Teddy, Joe, Joe Jr, and Elliot. They're all military men, they need to have the flags out on July 4th. Have to make the potato salad, macaroni salad, mix the hamburger meat, make a cake for the adults and cupcakes for the kids. We have so much to get done."
"We can all help with all of that. It's much too early to think about that now," Olivia said.
"Silly girl. Now is exactly the time to think about it," she snapped, shaking her head. "I know you're not used to having a family and having family traditions so you wouldn't understand."
Elliot spun around. "Mama!" he exclaimed. "Please be nice to Olivia. She's only trying to help."
"El, it's ok," she said, holding up her hand.
"No, Olivia. It's not ok," he said. He spun around and braced his hands on the counter and dropped his head.
"You're right. I'm not used to family traditions. But I hope you'll tell me more about all your traditions," Olivia said in a soothing voice.
Bernie's head snapped back towards her. "You want to hear about my family traditions?" she asked.
Olivia nodded. "Of course, I do. Can you just take your medicine? Then I'll walk you back to your room and get you settled back into bed so you can rest up for the busy day ahead?"
Bernie looked at her and nodded. "I think I can do that," she said, turning to the counter.
Olivia reached for the pill bottle. "How many is she supposed to take, El?" she asked as she opened the pill bottle.
"She can take 1 - 2 depending on how anxious she feels," he said.
"I think I'll take 2," Bernie said. "You know, just in case one doesn't cut it."
Olivia shook out two pills from the bottle and held them out to her. "Here you go," she said.
"Thank you," Bernie said as she took the pills and swallowed them one at a time each with sips of water.
Olivia closed the bottle and placed it back on the counter. "Ok, now let's get you back into bed and comfortable."
Olivia put her hand on Bernie's arm and guided her toward the bedroom next to the living room.
~oOo~
She came back into the kitchen a little while later. She saw that Elliot had made coffee. She looked out the window and saw he was sitting out on the deck at the table.
She walked to the sliding door, opened it and walked out. She turned and closed the door behind her.
"I'm sorry she was so rude to you," Elliot said.
He was sitting on the bench hands on his thighs looking down at the ground.
Olivia walked over and sat next to him. She wrapped her left hand around his right bicep and covered his hand with her right hand.
"You don't have to apologize. I understand," she said, leaning her head against his shoulder.
"I still don't like it when she talks to you like that it says things like that," he said, shaking his head.
"Are you ok?" she asked softly. "What else did she say to you? I know more than that is bothering you."
He sighed and shook his head. "I'm not sure why it's even bothering me. It's actually pretty stupid."
"It's not stupid if its bothering you," she said.
He reached his left hand to the bench next to him and held a mug out to her. "Here you go," he said softly.
She released his hand and took the mug. "Thanks." She sipped from the mug, still holding on to his bicep with her other hand. "Talk to me, El."
"I heard her cursing. That's what woke me up. I walked into the kitchen and saw her walking back and forth, all worked up and stressed out. I tried to get her to calm down. She told me to stop trying to control her and make decisions for her and worry about the decisions I can't make for myself. She said no wonder why I was always an easy target for my father's anger. That I am overly emotional, but not emotional enough at the same time," he said.
"I'm sorry, and it's valid that it's bothering you. You can feel whatever it is you're feeling, El," Olivia said. She let go of his arm and turned toward him.
"Yeah, I know. It still just really cuts when she says things like that. I know later on, she'll either completely ignore it or she'll be so teary and apologetic. I told her something I probably shouldn't have a few weeks ago. Something…" he trailed off and brought his hand up to rub across his forehead.
"What did you tell her, El?" Olivia asked looking over at him with concern. She watched as he clenched his fists and unclenched them. He brought the same hand that had just rubbed his forehead to the back of his neck and scratched at his skin a few times.
All of these things were his tells for when he's stressed out or nervous.
He turned to look at her. His blue eyes bright with emotion. "I need you to know that this isn't how I wanted to do this. I tried so hard to make everything perfect," he said, his voice thick with emotion.
She furrowed her brows. Concern and worry flooded her features. "What do you mean?"
He quickly turned his head out towards the lake. The sky was starting to brighten. It wouldn't be long before the sun would rise. "I'll be right back, ok?" he said.
Before she could answer he quickly got up from the bench and ran into the house. She watched him, feeling a nervous mix of worry and anxiety flood and wash over her.
Barely two minutes had passed before Elliot dashed out the door onto the deck. He reached his hand out to her.
She took his hand and he helped her to her feet. He took the coffee mug from her hand and put it down on the table. "Come on. Maybe I've been worrying about this too much," he said.
She was feeling very confused along with her worry and nervousness. What did this have to do with what his mother had said to him? She let him lead her down the stairs.
"Where are we going El? Is everything ok? Are you ok?" Her questions came out one after the other.
"To the spot I showed you the other day," he said.
She held on to his hand as he pulled her along. Through the backyard and to the hidden path to the left of the property. He led her down the path about 50 feet. She remembered the spot from the other day. Before long they came upon the big boulder close to the lake's edge.
The sky was starting to lighten even more. "Okay," he nervously said. "Let me get you up there," he brought his hands to her waist, and just like he did the other day, he easily lifted her up onto the boulder before he climbed up next to her.
She looked at him with a mix of worry and confusion. "Okay, El, you're really starting to worry me. What does coming here so quickly have to do with what your mom said to you?"
She didn't notice that he urged her to sit on the smaller boulder that was closest to the lake. One he would sit on and read or just look out at the water. She didn't notice that he had gotten down on his knee.
He reached out and grabbed her left hand. "I told my mother something weeks ago. Something I wanted to do. Something I wanted to ask you."
She looked into his eyes. They shone brightly, the blue standing out prominently. The morning sunlight had begun to fill the sky with a blaze of reds, pinks, yellows, and oranges. Slowly it all started to dawn on her.
She looked down at him on his knee. She pressed her right hand to her chest and opened her mouth in shock.
He smiled at her. "Meeting you changed me. Knowing you made me a better person. Sometimes I can't even put to words what I feel for you, how much I love you. There just doesn't seem to be words worthy enough. It could very well be that I just never was good with words. You are the love of my life. You make me feel things I've never felt before. I want forever with you and I hope that you want forever with me too."
She could feel tears start to sting her eyes. She watched as his right hand traveled to the pocket of his sweatpants. He pulled it out and held a small velvet box in his hand.
"I want to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up next to you every morning. I want to make you banana chocolate chip pancakes and carbonara when you've had a bad day. I want you to make me those chocolate fudgy cookies that you know I love every week. I want to raise Noah with you. I want to be his Dad. I want to give you the family you've always wanted, I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife."
Tears were freely falling down her face now. It was all starting to make sense what Elliot and Bernie had argued about. What had caused him to get so upset.
"Marry me, Olivia Benson," he said. His own eyes filled with tears. "Be my forever and let me be yours." He opened the box and held it out to her. "Will you marry me?"
She gasped when she looked down at the round diamond that sat upon a twisted halo band. The band was set in platinum, and it shone brilliantly in the rays of sunlight.
"Yes. Of course. Yes, I'll marry you, Elliot." She brought her hand up and pressed it against her mouth. She watched as he slid the ring onto her left hand. He ran his thumb back and forth over it and he smiled at her. His cheeks like hers, had tear tracks.
He held tightly to her left hand and with his right hand he moved his hand up and wove it through her hair and brought her face closer to his. "I love you so much," he whispered before kissing her.
