- Chapter 76 -
Loki tried to push the gruesome thoughts from her mind. It was a sweet little critter. She hadn't meant to explode it. Most of it just vaporized into a red mist above her worktable. The rest covered both her and the table. Loki disliked the slimy feel of little entrails running down the side of her face. The blood was in her eyes and her hands were covered in the red mist. Wiping at her eyes only smeared the blood and little pieces of fur around. The tiny pieces of fur stabbed at her eyes. They stung and burned. Loki tried again to push away the disgusting memories.
It wasn't easy anymore to push unwanted thoughts away. They popped up unbidden and stayed longer than they were welcome. At least I can clear my mind, she thought. A few years ago, she couldn't say the same thing. Even though she'd made progress since coming home with Tony, there were still times when her thoughts spiraled out of control. It's better than it was. A deep gratitude flooded through her again for her husband. His warmth was a comforting bulwark against the lingering memories.
"Loki?" Tony prompted. He understood how easily she got lost in her own mind. It was frightening at times.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Loki shook herself from her memories to take a moment to order her thoughts. "Right, curses. My gift to Fandral was impotence. Fandral has ever been a rapaciously sexual being. Describing him as an aggressive whore is being kind. He preys upon anything pretty, and weak. Uses it up and discards it for something new when he's had his fun. That's swiftly coming to an end. Over the past few years, he's been having more problems," Loki smirked, "performing. In a few more years he won't be able to do anything. He'll be completely cut off from any physical pleasure. When his mind is cleared out of his baser desires he'll have an opportunity to reflect on his behavior and treatment of others. If he can realize the harm he's caused and make amends to those he's harmed then not only will he get his toys back, but they'll function far better than they ever did before."
"That's not punishment!" Tony protested. "You gave him an out and a reward! He doesn't deserve either!"
"You know better, Love." Loki reminded him with a smile. "So, do not mistake me. I do not desire vengeance, only justice. One is not a synonym for the other. True justice stops the destruction of lives. It doesn't destroy more lives in vengeance for those already destroyed. If I'm to have justice then I must offer them a chance to redeem themselves."
"They don't deserve it," Tony grumbled. It was hard to argue with his wife since he knew she had the moral high ground. He didn't want the high ground though. He just wanted to burn them all. That would be so much simpler. His hands continued to run over her belly.
"Did you? Do I? Do any of the Avengers or the people at SHIELD deserve the many chances they've been given to redeem themselves after the terrible things they've done? If we expect a fair chance to redeem ourselves, then we must be willing to give that chance to others. It's the only honorable and just thing to do," Loki smiled.
.-.-.-.
Immense pride filled Odin at Loki's words. They were in keeping with what he'd seen coming out of the Hall of Justice when his son was working there. Asgardian laws had become far less punishment oriented and far more reformative. Compassion replaced wrath in the prisons beneath the city. People who it was believed would never be released were now being released with confidence. People who found themselves in the dungeons many times because of their poor choices were no longer there. They no longer needed to be there. The dungeons became an engine of change taking in those who'd broken with society and returning them as better people. And you've brought this compassion to Midgard. The light of your soul shines brightly, my son.
Another sweet smile touched Frigga's lips. She recognized what Loki was doing. She'd have been a fool to not recognize it since she was the one who taught it to Loki. The small amount of worry that came from the thought of Loki going after Thor's companions dissipated. Loki hadn't chosen vengeance. It almost made her chuckle to see what her child had chosen. Frigga was still going to wait until she'd heard what fate waited the others, but it would be without worry.
Anger, guilt, and humiliation all painted different shades of red on Fandral's face as he stared at the floor. His thoughts scattered to the winds. He couldn't grab any one of them to hold long enough to form a complete thought. This is the cause of my troubles?! This is, his thoughts began moving. I am to lose my manhood! You are not the one to take that from me, he thought at one moment. Had I ingratiated myself to Prince Loki more this might not have happened, he thought at another moment. How dare he do this to me, he thought after that. Can this curse be removed, he wondered quickly. Shame at his own inability to handle the situation flooded him. He would need to seek out aid in having this undone, very personal and humiliating aid.
Rationalizations that he didn't deserve the curse seemed half-hearted even to Fandral. I have wronged Prince Loki. For centuries I've behaved terribly towards him. Yet even after all of it, he gave me a chance to redeem myself. Will I take this opportunity to apologize? Should I? Again, the age-old memories of blows raining down, the sounds of tearing cloth, the shame of his own weakness and the horror of the worst of betrayals filled his mind. He shook his head to clear out the darkness. I swore that I would never be like him, but I have been. I've preyed carelessly upon those weaker than me. I've become that which I set out never to be. If I don't accept this opportunity, do I accept that I have become like him? Am I my father's son? Can I forgive Prince Loki for this? I could never forgive my father. Has the Prince forgiven me? I want to wake up from this nightmare! Fandral dug his nails into the skin of his palm. The pain was real because he was already awake.
What he heard from Loki garnered Frey's approval. While it was a curse, he understood that the judgment took that form out of necessity. It was a fair and wise judgment. A little smirk crossed his face. He might have expected this from his beloved sister. He would've had Fandral stripped nude and whipped publicly. Frey decided he would honor Loki's judgment in this.
.-.-.-.
"Next was Hogun. To Hogun I gifted ignorance, just not on his part. Hogun has always seen very clearly the people and situations around him. I even believe that he saw through my lies many times, but never said anything. Hogun likes to say that he watches Thor's back. Oh yes, he watches as Thor walks into danger that might get him killed. He does this without the courage to say something to Thor. If he can't find the courage to speak when he should, then no one will listen when he does. People are becoming ignorant of his words, and it will only get worse. In a few years, no one will hear anything he has to say, no matter how small, no matter how important," Loki explained as calmly as she could. It took no small effort on her part to make the curses breakable. The cold anger buried deep in her heart sought to make the curses permanent and painful. It sought revenge. In those days, Loki was still fully in control of himself. It was easy to bury the anger deep, to ignore it until he felt nothing. It's not so easy now.
"If Hogun wants his words back than he has to look at something Thor wants to do and find fault with it," Loki said.
"That's not hard to do," Tony interrupted. He gently rubbed at the baby's head again, flaring out his seidr to touch his sleeping child.
"Yes, Love," Loki said soothingly as she patted his hand. "Hogun must look at something Thor wants to do and find fault with it. Then he must tell Thor, in front of others, that he thinks Thor's idea is wrong and dangerous and it would be better to not do whatever witless thing it is. Afterwards he must continue to speak out when he has concerns or worries. If he can find the courage to speak honestly and openly, to criticize instead of just follow along like a good little dog, then he will see many things far more clearly. His words will carry the weight of wisdom. People young and old will listen when he speaks."
"I could get behind that for him. He's not as much of an ass as Fandral," Tony said.
