- Chapter 79 -
"You put his eyes out?" Tony asked. That sounded a little too gruesome in light of the other curses.
"No, not directly. His sight is worsening with time. Eventually it will fail. He will fail. Something or someone will get into Asgard. I have no doubt that they'll be pushed back, but they will get in. He failed in his duty as Guardian of the Bifrost, failed in his duty to protect the Royal Family, he endangered Thor's life needlessly for his own gain. He threw his honor away to satisfy his curiosity and in doing so broke the sacred oaths he took as Guardian of the Bifrost. While I personally cannot forgive the traitor for his betrayal, I still gave him the means to redeem himself," anger was creeping back into Loki's voice. As it served no purpose, she tried to push it away.
"He came to the party when he was off duty?" Tony asked.
"No, he didn't attend. I laid this curse upon him on the Bifrost as he tried to behead me. I was the Duly Appointed King of Asgard, and he attempted to commit regicide after betraying his oaths, neglecting his duties, and needlessly endangering the Crown Prince of the realm. It was my right and responsibility to punish him for these crimes. Personally, I'd like to spend a few hours slowly flaying the flesh from his bones for what he's done, but petty vengeance isn't something Asgard needs more of. It has enough of that already," Loki kept trying to push the anger out of her voice. "I did obey the law, even if he didn't."
"A Guardian of the Bifrost must be humble and restrained. He is neither. Heimdall is arrogant and prideful. While much of his blood flows from Nidavellir his attitude is wholly Asgardian. If he wishes to redeem himself then his pride must give way to humility, his arrogance must be tempered with restraint. He must confess his traitorous crimes before his Lord and King and accept what punishments follow. If he can do these things, then not only will his sight be fully restored, but it will be vastly improved. He will be able to see each of the secret paths in and out of Asgard. He will be able to see and sense when and where someone is breaching the Svalinn barrier surrounding Asgard. There will be no spell, enchantment, or weave that can darken his vision. If he is willing to face accountability for his crimes then he will be the most powerful Guardian of the Bifrost to have ever stood watch," she said. "Though I doubt he'll ever see what he's done as criminal. He's too arrogant to think that he did anything other than 'protect' Asgard."
"Arrogance is in Asgard's blood. It's no surprise," Tony said. He moved his hands to caress the underside of Loki's swollen belly. My babies.
"Asgard needs a Guardian who has the strength of will to hold tight to his oaths, despite the pressure of the situation. Heimdall isn't that man. He could be, but that would mean he would need to change, admit that he was wrong. Asgardians are never wrong," Loki sighed. The weight of centuries of bitter memories pressed down on her again. They were never the ones who were wrong.
"He will redeem himself, or he will die. The punishment for treason is death. This is what I meted out to him. This was my obeisance to the law," Loki said quietly.
Tony looked down at Loki's face. He could hear the simmering anger in her voice. "You killed him?"
"There can only ever be one living Guardian of the Bifrost. If he doesn't redeem himself, then he will be forced to give up his post. While Odin wouldn't punish him for his crimes, he has still broken the law. If Odin would not see this done, then I will. Heimdall will find redemption, or he will take his own life for his crimes," Loki spoke quietly. "He is the only one to whom I have guaranteed redemption. Either through action or blood, he will be brought to it. I will not forgive him; however, he has earned a measure of respect for his service. This respect informed my decision."
Tony thought it over for a moment, thought over how many times Thor almost died because of Heimdall's actions. Mostly, he thought about Loki falling from the Bifrost. It was Heimdall's fault. He didn't think that Heimdall deserved any respect. "The only ones who deserve any respect in Asgard are Amma and Afi Gin," he said quietly. They're all grotesque.
.-.-.-.
Shock rolled through Sif for a moment before hot anger poured through her. He tried to kill my brother again! She tried to sit still, to not make a display of it. She didn't want to call Lord Odin's ire down on her head as Fandral almost did. Her hands clenched tight as she glared at Prince Loki for a moment. The glare and anger died away as she thought again, We've wronged Prince Loki, is this not just then? Sif didn't know anymore and damned the Norns for it.
Honoring this would mean letting go of my plans for him. Frey considered for a moment whether or not he would honor this judgment. He wanted Heimdall's skin on one of his dungeon walls. Heimdall had nearly killed Thor several times and did much worse to Loki. Frey had no forgiveness for him. This too is a Royal Pronouncement, he thought. It had everything he needed to view it as such, even the respect for Heimdall's position that Frey felt was no longer deserved. He set aside his plans for Heimdall as he decided that he would honor this as well. If he was going to make his idea a reality, then he would need to honor Loki's judgments. Hopefully, Loki would agree to it. Anthony will be key in this endeavor. I must convince him of it first.
.-.-.-.
"I don't know why you're so kind to them. I wouldn't have been." Tony was constantly amazed at his wife's ability to separate personal feelings from her actions. Considering everything Tony found out about Loki's childhood and her life in Asgard he knew that if it was him he would go straight for vengeance. No redemption, no rewards, just revenge. It always worked for Starks.
"I understand why they are what they are, it's that simple," Loki gave a little shrug.
"Your understanding doesn't excuse their actions," Tony said firmly. He thought that she should just accept that they were horrible and not try to justify it. She always tried to justify it though, every single time. There was always a reason that sounded suspiciously like an excuse.
Loki looked up at him. "If we tell Edward every day that only the strong are worthy, and he grows up hearing this, then when he's an adult and preys upon those who are weaker than him; who's to blame for his crimes?"
"You're discounting free will. Edward still has the choice to not be a bastard," Tony argued. His son was nothing like any of them. Not like her family and not like his.
"And if we indoctrinate him to believe that the weak are prey, if we raise him to know that there is only one choice. If we mold his thoughts, bend his will to our own way of thinking. Whose fault is it?" Loki persisted.
A thoughtful look came over Tony. He wished she had used a different word. "Prey". It was an ugly word, a Stark word. He thought back to his childhood. Maria was an unreliable mother. She was drunk or out shopping more often than not. His first memories were of the English butler they had for a while, not her. Howard was a harsh father who'd loved his son as an heir and not much more. His uncles and most of his cousins were frightening to him as a child while his aunts were still missing. Through all the abuse from the old monsters there was the Stark philosophy for life; if you weren't a Stark, then you were prey. He disliked his father but couldn't deny that Howard's brutal actions formed his outlook. He wasn't the only one whose outlook was formed though. Morgan and Arno suffered through it with him. They recieved a broken and bleeding outlook that Rhodey, mom and dad were able to soften. Tony took that softer outlook and made a life out of it. If he hadn't had them then he would be what Loki was talking about, someone who preyed on the weak with glee and premeditation. He knew the balance between responsibility and mitigating factors better than most people living. Looking down at Loki he knew who she was talking around. "Both, I guess," he said finally. He rested his head down on Loki's shoulder. "What Odin did to Thor, that's what you mean." Because I know you don't mean me. You don't need to know that about me.
.-.-.-.
What do you mean by that? Thor almost turned to his father to ask what Stark meant by it. He stopped when he realized that his father probably wouldn't tell him. "It's nothing you need to worry about," his father told him that many times throughout his life. He had always trusted his father when he said that. That trust was dissipating. The uncertainty it left behind was uncomfortable. What have you kept from me father, and why?
While Frey kept a calm expression on his face he couldn't deny the sharp nervousness he felt as Anthony's words. His beloved sister was equally nervous. Nor could he deny the even sharper nervousness when he saw Thor almost turn to Odin to ask what Anthony could mean. Twice they'd almost given it away. Frey had a foreboding feeling that the boy was going to learn more than just what Loki did. It wasn't something that Thor needed to know. He huffed in frustration. It wasn't what he wanted to know either. I want the damn pin back, he thought bitterly. He still wanted to bury it in Odin's eye.
That comment uncomfortably settled for Frigga whether the comment from before was random or not. It clearly wasn't random which made her very nervous. The nervousness only increased when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thor almost turn to them and ask about what Stark just said. She couldn't quite breathe a sigh of relief when her son didn't say anything because twice had Stark said something. Thor was curious about it, but Frigga didn't want to talk about that. What she wanted most was for Stark to stop talking about it. She was a little angry that he might know. Loki had to have been the one to tell him, she couldn't see him finding out in any other fashion. Frigga needed to know how Loki found out. This was something else she was going to discuss with Frey. She still didn't believe that Frey said anything, but he might know how Loki knew.
What has Loki been telling him?! Odin made sure that his stoic mask was firmly in place. Thor couldn't know how very nervous Stark's comment made him. He took a small breath and a moment to calm himself. It wasn't so easy as he felt his wife's hand tighten around his. He could hear the nervousness in her seidr. I and your mother would be perfectly well if you would stop talking about that now, Loki, he thought. And don't mention it again. This was one thing he hoped he might be lucky enough to have Loki and Stark stop talking about.
.-.-.-.
Loki smiled gently, glad that he learned. "That's why I offered them redemption. Parents build the mind. Children use the mind that's been built for them. While free choice is always an option, rarely does a child choose something different. That's why it's 'the Road Untraveled.' Children are what their parents make of them. A person can only reasonably be held responsible for a majority percentage of any decision they make. A small amount of responsibility must be allocated to those responsible for how a person makes decisions. People don't appear as adults out of a vacuum. They learn to be what they are, are taught to be what they are," Loki pointed out. She looked back down to his hands and wondered if he knew how relaxing his gentle massage was.
"Volstagg's mother died when he was young. His father was a violent sell-sword. A taciturn man who never spoke of his wife again. Between the two of them Volstagg learned to never deal with his emotions. He only learned to swallow them down and ignore them. Hogun's people value quiet reflection. He was raised to believe that if you have nothing useful to say then say nothing, no matter what you might be thinking. Sif and Heimdall's father was a powerful warrior who was well respected for his strength and skill. Their mother idolized her husband, lionized his every aspect. Who do you think they wanted to be like when they grew up? I keep telling you that context matters. It always matters. The way that they were raised makes a difference in how they choose to live their lives. If I was going to act in a fair and just manner then I had to take that into account," Loki told him. There were other things she'd taken into account, but the Mantles of Time were a lesson for another time.
"And Fandral? He's just an ass," Tony grumbled again.
She nibbled nervously at her lower lip for a moment. Loki had never revealed to anyone what she knew about Fandral. It was too personal, too awful to spread around to just anyone. The roots of Fandral's behavior were too twisted for Loki to not feel a deep pity for him. She turned her head to look at Tony and pulled his head down so that she could whisper into his ear. Even saying it aloud felt like gross violation of Fandral's dignity. She wouldn't be the one to do that. Loki whispered the details of Fandral's poisoned childhood to Tony and she could feel him grow very still as he listened. When she finished, she let go of Tony's head and rested back against his broad shoulders again. "Do you understand? He's only repeating behaviors he was taught as a child. He's come a long way from that. Fandral deserves the chance to make himself better than what made him what he is."
Vague nausea roiled in Tony's midsection. He remembered how badly Howard treated him and thought that was as bad as it got. Even the family gatherings, as scarring as they were, weren't that bad, at least not for the hunters. Their prey had a very different point of view. Because of it he couldn't even imagine spanking his kids, but that? "Oh god, his own father? That's really sick." He huffed, frustrated, as his entire view of Fandral changed in an instant. It was a much more understandable and empathetic view.
.-.-.-.
All Fandral could think was, He cannot know! It hadn't been enough long years for the humiliation and horror to fade from his mind. He thought that he'd hidden all evidence of his father's perversions. How did he find out? Why did he never say anything? Dark memories of painful encounters flashed through his mind. It'd been years since he thought of them. Any year where he could forget was a good year. Bury my problems in drink and the flesh of others. I am my father's son, aren't I? A hand on his shoulder startled him out of morbid thoughts. He turned to see Thor behind him. "We'll get through this," Thor whispered to him. He nodded silently. There was nothing else to be said.
A gentle squeeze on Fandral's shoulder before letting go let Thor wordlessly tell his friend that he wasn't alone. It was always difficult for Fandral when any mention of his father or his childhood was brought up. Though it took several hundred years, he finally pulled Fandral away from the viciously self-destructive things he would spend weeks engaging in if anything of the past was mentioned. Fandral's like of carving the insults his father hurled at him into his own skin had always been frightful for Thor. There were many times he found Fandral bloodied in his own home, with a blade in his hand. With the blade was pulled from Fandral's shaking hands, he quietly dragged his dear friend to one of the smaller Houses of Healing in the city. They didn't ask for names or how an injury happened. Once the wounds were closed and the scars removed, they'd talk. The distressed carving was all but gone now. There was only the heavier drinking and tavern brawls left. Even those were fewer every year. Thor had the best Speaker's Orbs he could find placed in Fandral's home in the city after he found that music assisted his companion to calm down and feel better. When they got back to Asgard, the two of them would deal with this. They would talk, then they would move on. Fandral was stronger than when they first met. Thor was proud of him for that.
Between Fandral and the screen Natasha's gaze went back and forth again. The looked of wide-eyed horror that passed over him momentarily was as illuminating as lightning. It put many things in perspective. That's as interesting as it is unpleasant, she thought.
How did you discover that, my dear, Frey wondered and arched an eyebrow as he glanced between Fandral and the 'd known for many centuries since he had all of Thor's companions thoroughly investigated so that he knew what manner of people his nephew was keeping company with. This wasn't something he mentioned to Loki. He kept considering having his nephew's mortal friends investigated as well, but mortals lived such short lives. He still wasn't certain it would be worth it.
Having this discussed openly displeased Odin. Normally a history like Fandral's would completely disqualify him from being a worthy companion for the Crown Prince of Asgard, possible even from being in the Royal Guard. However, this was one of the main reasons he allowed Thor to keep Fandral as a companion. Fandral's childhood made him much easier to manipulate. A quiet sentence here and there, and Fandral did exactly as Odin wanted him to. Were this to be made public then it might become obvious how he'd manipulated his son's companion to keep his son in line. His hand tightened around Frigga's again. He couldn't allow that to happen.
.-.-.-.
"Context matters, and I pity Fandral. It's that pity that shaped my views of him," Loki didn't want to talk about them anymore. She patted him on the hand and said, "They'll change their behavior, or they'll be punished for it. You don't need to worry."
With a firm mental shove Tony put Fandral out of his mind. Terrible images flashed through his mind and he pushed them away as well. He shook his head and wondered briefly, "What if they discover the curses and have them removed? I mean, maybe Fandral doesn't deserve ... I don't know." I've done worse, do I deserve that?
"The curses are anchored in their hearts. If they attempt to remove them then they die painfully. That's part of the augmentation of the curse. Each faces a different consequence for having it removed. Volstagg's wife will follow him into death, leaving his children as orphans. Fandral will be remembered as the most pathetic and inept lecher in Asgardian history. Sif will be remembered as a very manly woman who was everyone's companion but no one's lover. Heimdall's treachery will become common knowledge. He will be remembered as an honorless oath-breaker and Hogun will be forgotten by everyone within a year," Loki revealed.
As she remembered a day from long, long ago Loki smiled gently again. "Thor knows about their problems. When he was young, before his thoughts were bent, he wanted to aid all Asgardians. He sought out and found people his own age who had problems or needed friends. He wanted to assist them personally, which is why he saw them into the Royal Guard, so they could stay with him. I know you dislike him, but he does have his good moments. Even though I'm disgusted with what happened later on, I've always been very proud of him for wanting to better the lives of those he would rule, though he needs better companions to do it."
"That went to hell in a hand basket, didn't it?" Tony said. "He just threw his hands up and decided to let the inmates run the asylum? Or no, I guess he decided to be one of the inmates running the asylum. And Odin encouraged him to do it. Wow." What a bastard!
She patted him on the hand again and said, "Take me to bed, I'm tired of talking about them, and just tired. Your daughters have been kicking at my innards all day. I want to sleep."
Tony chuckled and shifted her to the side. Slipping his arms under her, Tony stood up carefully. He gave her a quick kiss and carried her back to their bed.
