Warning: Long author's note ahead, feel free to press the back button if you feel like reading all this will be unnecessary.
so hi everyone, Candela/aesthetic here, hope you are all doing good today. :) i'd like to apologize in advance because this isn't me uploading the first episode of this in like... after 7 months, it's just... a really long announcement.
i'm aware that a lot people, especially those who i know in discord, are under the impression that i have left the site completely. yes, it's true. i did left the site for quite a while, and it's evident because i have almost nothing left in my profile. not only that, but i have never been participating in syocs as much as i used to (those who know me for like, since 2017 know that i always love submitting to these and might have been quite obv to you guys how much i grew inactive), though part of it is because i gave all my ocs away to my friends who i know can take care of them. but it's not because i'm not interested anymore- believe me when i say that i still really do want to finish everything i've started, even if it takes me decades to do so. i still want to send characters. i still wanted to finish the whole TD Act series. i wanted to finally start Spring Fever and finish it. i want to be like most of my friends here who accomplish a lot, and not just sit here and be jealous of people's achievements and how much people get so much love and appreciate from others and feel like i don't.
i just can't write anymore. and saying that "i will finish it" is easier said than done. i've tried writing, but it just doesn't work anymore. it just doesn't make me happy anymore. and it's really sad for me because writing is something i really love doing back in the years. now every time i try to write, i keep doubting and doubting and doubting myself until i just throw everything away. i keep thinking everything i do just sucks. i keep thinking that no one appreciates or will appreciate my work. i keep thinking that no one will care and if they do, people will only point out the bad things in my works. i keep thinking that i will be known for all my issues in this community... which had been true lately, at least before i suddenly left. even in discord is pretty evident. i tried to delete my account several times. i keep deleting my servers. i unfriend people left and right like a stupid fuck. i'm a person who struggles (and is still terribly struggling) with anxiety and it's not like i can just forget all that. it's not easy. and it doesn't help that i'm afraid that i've being selfish because i've been wanting to feel appreciation or wanting to feel assurance that i'm doing a good job or all that, so i just keep quiet. maybe it's normal for being an isfj personality. XD
last year wasn't the best for me. not only in this site but even in personal life, mostly mental health wise. and don't say that i've been getting better this year because not gonna lie, i've been getting a lot worse and i just try my best to hide it, which i am pretty good at it, i think. i don't want to go even further because i will get too personal.
i'm not really sure if anyone has been wondering where in the absolute hell have i been all this time and it's been a really long while since i've actually talked to anyone. well if you wanted to know why, then there's that.
i'm really sorry if all of this just comes off as me asking for pity again. i'll admit that i had been changing for the worst, but i just feel like being honest because i genuinely feel like i have no one to talk to for a long time now. then again, everyone has more important matters to attend to, lol. i do have my happy moments, but unfortunately, they're short-lived and forgettable compared to the bad moments lol. we all have that. XD but with that, i just want to apologize for everything and for being the person i am now.
okay so enough with all the pity-partying excuses, i'm going to go to the main announcement. Spring Fever and all my other stories will be discontinued until further notice. permanently? it depends. but... i don't want to give my plans away because there might be a time where i will come back to working on them. and if i do end up working on them... i promise i will try not to disappoint. i guess i just want to wait until i'm not busy or once i get better. maybe when i come back, i'll update a lot again, i'll finally finish something, i'll submit to syocs again, and be back to the happy person you guys know me as.
i know i'm not that responsive anymore, and i'm sorry. but if there is anything that needs replying, i will do my best to do so.
i highkey wish that i never said any of this, but i feel like i had to at some point. so that aside... here's the opening theme that i've been working on since... March. yeah... i hope you guys like it even a little bit. love to all
The camera gives the audience a decent view of the inn, with Eloisah and Melody in the middle of a slight argument.
Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine,
In the kitchen area of the inn, Elodie and Leigh have been making pastries and beverages respectively.
You guys are on my mind.
Anne comes in laughing and is oblivious to the fact that she had accidentally bumped into a sack of flour. The flour falls onto the ground with some of it in the air, causing everything to turn white.
You asked me what I wanted to be
The whiteness in the screen fades away to the lake where Bullet was standing like a statue, not even breathing whatsoever, making you ask yourself if he really is still breathing.
And now I think the answer is plain to see,
Mallory couldn't help but look at him in suspicion but was completely distracted when she saw Lake splashed into… you know… the lake.
I wanna be famous.
Keesha was humming a tune to herself just outside the inn where Connor was writing a book. However, he didn't seem to hear her pass by and just continued writing.
I wanna live close to the sun,
Not too far from them was Aisling offering Ian to pick a card. The thief showed her the card and the mysterious girl immediately looks at him in pure disbelief.
Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,
Pharoah and Quinn were arguing about god knows what just by the docks when dodgeballs suddenly hit both of them causing them to hit the water.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
The source of the dodgeballs came from the duo of Minghao and Kyle. They had guilty looks on their faces before running away.
I'll get there one day.
In a dark tower in the middle of the night, we see Arla, Van, and Monica exploring from the ground floor. The three of them then let out shrill screams as they see something off-camera.
Cause, I wanna be famous!
The view zooms to the top of the tower where Ethan and Sungjae looked down at the view. Due to how high up it is, Sungjae couldn't keep his breath up and faints.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
The na's become a bit distorted in tone as we now get a view of the whole cast trapped in a cage inside of what looked like the dark tower.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
The tone goes back to normal as we see Chris with a plate of candies. He hits the cast with a candy piece one by one.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
He throws the rest of the candies and they block the view. The candies fall, revealing the title, Total Drama: Spring Fever.
