Prologue
I'm In Here
I'm in here
Can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?
I'm in here
A prisoner of history
Can't you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold all of the sadness I cannot
Live with inside of me
Vader returned from his fight with Obi Wan. Still wearing his broken mask, stumbling across the room.
He finally took it off his ripped helmet and set it aside.
As he sat down, he couldn't shake off his emotions. He was furious, feeling foolish as Obi Wan walked away earlier.
He kept replaying the scene over and over, unable to let it go. Him screaming out his name in defiance, wanting to be heard, wanting to be seen.
He wanted revenge. He didn't want to lose to his old master, but most of all, he just didn't want to be given up on - pitied.
Vader didn't expect to feel the way he did. He thought it would be satisfying to prove he survived it all, to prove his powers were unrivaled.
But he felt nothing of the sort. Instead, he felt even more powerless. But why?
It was more than simply losing to Obi-Wan in a fight. It was what Obi-Wan represented.
Vader had killed that part of him. He erased Anakin Skywalker and all that came with that name from his memory.
And what really bothered him was all it took was an encounter with Obi-Wan to unleash the past.
Vader was more fearful than he wanted to admit. He had closed off that part of his life for 10 years. Yet Obi-Wan had the power to reach in and change that?
Obi-Wan managed to pull out Anakin, and unfortunately for Vader, that meant Anakin's memories would seep through the very strong barrier Vader had built inside his head and heart - or what's left of it.
And things only got worse as he tried to control his thoughts and temper, desperate to ignore whatever Anakin wanted him to remember. As he tried to shake it off, determined to block out the man that lost everything. He didn't know Anakin anymore, and he didn't want to be burdened with his losses. It was too heavy a burden to carry.
He not only didn't want to be Anakin, he couldn't bear to be him, knowing what he lost.
After fixing his mask, Vader did his best to go about his life as normal. He believed that momentary lapse of concentration, where he almost let Anakin's memories seep in where a thing of the past.
He was about to enter his chamber when he spotted a vision from the corner of his eye, and slowly began to head towards it. His breathing, muddled by his mask, was the only sound in the room.
As he made his way closer, he noticed a woman in a long, white, flowy gown. She finally turned around, and much to his surprise, it was none other than...
"Padme." Vader whispered in shock, frozen in his place. He couldn't believe who was standing in front of him.
Padme looked up at him with a sigh. He couldn't quite read the expression on her face. She seemed disappointed, the way a parent would look at you - without judgment.
He began to close the gap between them, raising his mechanical hand in an attempt to touch her. His heart broke a little, being unable to feel her skin underneath his fingertips. His eyes gazed into hers, catching his breath as he tried to work out how she could be standing before him.
Her face softened as she reached up to remove his mask. He flinched at first, not wanting her to see him - but he eventually settled. She finally pulled it off, and smiled. To his surprise, there were no scars. He could feel his fringe that fell across his forehead, he could breathe without the mask. I must be dreaming, he thought.
He finally reached for her again - this time, with his left hand as though he never lost it. He cupped her face and finally felt her soft skin. He closed his eyes, breathing her in.
She smiled at him as her fingers entwined in his hair that flowed down the back of his neck - he melted at the touch of her hand on his skin.
"What happened to you?" She spoke softly. Her voice was exactly as he remembered.
"I don't know." He paused, noticing he had his old voice back - no burns, no scars, and no need for machines. "I'm - I'm gonna fix it." He insisted as he pulled her closer to him. He could feel the warmth of her body pressing up against his - it had been so long! He was captivated by her touch, the feel of her hair brushing against his cheek, and the feel of her body as his hands slid down her waist and caressed her curves.
"The damage is done." She said calmly.
"I'm gonna get him back." He determined. "I'm gonna settle this once and for all."
Padme shook her head, knowing he was consumed by his fight with Obi-Wan. Vader studied her intently, trying to work out what she was thinking.
She began to step away from him, leaving him fearful that she would disappear. She exhaled deeply as she took a few more steps back.
"You miss him, don't you?" She realized.
Vader scoffed in response.
"You don't want to settle the score." She declared, "...You want him to come back."
"No." Vader dismissed with a flail of his hand, shaking his head.
"He walked away... He pitied you... "
"No." He growled, tensing up.
"Your one last living connection." Padme's voice was firmer than before, making Vader more restless, more fearful, angrier.
"Your final attachment... Gone." She continued
"No!" Vader roared. In that moment, as he roared, his voice changed. His anger shook the room. He looked down and his hands were mechanical. He reached up to feel his face, the mask was back on, and he could feel his scars sinking back into his face. His hair gone, his voice returned to that mechanical sound.
He looked up at Padme staring at him defiantly.
"I don't need him." Vader huffed, stubbornly, as he clenched his fist as the pain from his burns returned, making him more irritated and short-tempered.
"Then..." Padme walked towards him once more, "Who are you fighting?" She asked.
Vader stood there, unable to look at her now. He wasn't her husband - he didn't feel like her husband anymore, and she didn't feel like his wife, and that hurt like hell.
"Let it go." She soothed. It was though she could hear his thoughts. This only upset him more. He couldn't let it go. He couldn't let her go.
Vader's breathing echoed in the room. "I will destroy him... and everyone else who stole from me - who took you away from me."
"...You destroyed me." Padme revealed. He finally turned to face her, and shed a tear as her words cut him.
"Don't say that." He shook his head
"You could've chosen me..." She uttered. Her voice sounded so sorrowful now.
His heart broke a little more as he watched tears stream down her cheeks.
"But you chose yourself." She cried before summoning the courage to regain her composure. "And now that's all you've got." She warned.
With the change in her tone of voice, Vader couldn't bear to hear the words coming out of her mouth.
"Padme," He urged. "Everything - everything I did... I did for you!" His voice grew louder.
"No... you did it for yourself." She sighed as though she had accepted it. She began to fade away.
"Padme..." Vader called for her to return but she had disappeared. "PADME!" He yelled the way he had yelled for Obi-Wan a day earlier.
Vader stood there, realizing she wasn't coming back.
Was she real? No. But this figment of his imagination was his fear. He feared what Padme thought of him now. He let her down, and he couldn't blame anyone else for that part. Anakin's memories clearly wanted to torment him.
In this moment, he knew things were never going to be the same. And thanks to Obi-Wan, the gate he could've sworn was shut, was reopened.
And Vader was forced to remember...
The touch of her hand, every kiss, every time he fell asleep with Padme in his arms. Her long luscious locks, her pink lips, her smile, her big brown eyes, her arms holding him close, kissing his forehead, dancing with him in the middle of her apartment.
(Mature) Her breath on his neck, the taste of her lips, her soft nibbles on his earlobe, her biting his bottom lip... His finger trailing down her body, tracing her curves, their bodies entwined as they made love, inhaling her moans as his head hovered over hers in the heat of passion, the euphoric feeling of being inside her.
I'm crying out, I'm breaking down
I am fearing it all
Stuck inside these walls
Tell me there is hope for me
Is anybody out there listening?
I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something
I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear
