It wouldn't be long before she's consumed with the ugly need for murder. The deed dominated much of her thoughts and she wasn't sure how long until she lost it.
Tanjirou had a deep cut on his arm from the batter of that swordsman they encountered in the woods. He had lost so much blood that he's been in and out of consciousness. She had done her best to treat the injury but what good was her best when she was torn between letting him die and feasting on what was left?
Thankfully he showed signs of recovery not long after. She had discovered an abandoned cave on the boundaries of Mount Kumotori and resolved on improving his health whilst waiting out the bad weather.
He shivered and gasped from the cold so much that Nezuko prioritized getting him warmed up. She went out, gathered water from cavities yet to freeze over and collected what she could to make a fire.
She came back from her second trip with plenty of wood in arms the size of someone twice her age. Tanjirou was up, giving her an odd look. She ignored it - she was slowly getting comfortable in the body of a woman anyway.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Thirsty." he said, beads of sweat on his forehead. "Very thirsty."
She gave him a bamboo designed to bear water, full to the brim.
"Thank you."
She studied him as he drank. His face was flushed and his lips were a little blue. He looked out of strength, a price he's had to pay for carrying her grown body for miles with a fresh wound and terrible weather wearing him down all the same. It had only been a question of when his body would give.
"You have to go on your own after this." she said.
"I'm not leaving you."
"And I'm not giving you a choice."
Tanjirou's eyes burned bright with determination. The look he gave her was fearsome but there was little he could do in his condition, and even less otherwise.
"You'll not make it-" she cut herself off, putting a stop to words that were not of her choosing. "I cannot protect you from myself Tanjirou."
The fire in his eyes died and so did the tension in his shoulders.
"You had the chance," he said softly, "back there, when you had me pinned. You had the chance to kill me but you didn't."
Had that man not intervened, you wouldn't be alive to think that, she thought sadly. He'd have been a frozen corpse somewhere far out in the snow, bloodless and forgotten.
"You don't understand."
"Then make me understand."
How? When she herself was at a loss of grasping the magnitude of what she was capable of let alone what she was.
Demon? Monster? Both?
Nezuko put aside that train of thought. It would only lead to more questions.
Their destination was Mount Sagiri. A journey worth three full days from tomorrow should their path remain unobstructed.
"That man, he kills people...he kills things like me, that's what he said." she looked at her adult hands. "How can we take his word for it? For all we know it could be a trap. More of them could be there waiting to cut me down."
"He had the perfect opportunity not long ago. I don't see why he'd need to spare you only to kill you at his doorstep."
"I still don't trust him."
"If that's the case then we can go elsewhere to figure things out." Tanjirou took her arm. "Either way we can't just abandon each other Nezuko. We're all we have left."
She knew that more than him. He had no idea. The aftertaste of their mother still lingered somewhere deep in her lungs - in a cesspool of guilt and self-loathing.
Tanjirou was unaware, having been minutes away from the horror she had inflicted on the people she cared for the most. Nezuko could still recall the fear in their faces with so much vividness that it all felt like a nightmare.
She wanted nothing more than to die but the curse overrode that wish. Injuries disappeared, limbs regrew, fire did nothing, the cold she could not feel.
She was hopeless.
Tanjirou was the only thing of worth left in her life yet here she sat speculating the flavour of his blood.
"Nezuko."
She composed herself and fabricated an untroubled expression to the surface.
"You should get some sleep Tanjirou."
"So should you."
"I don't I think I can."
"Have you tried?"
She nodded. A lot of things occupied her mind and sleep was the least of her worries. "Its snowing less and less. The animals are out more often now."
The little tracks in the snow were numerous, some even closer to their cave.
"Tomorrow we leave for Sagiri."
"Are you sure?"
"I think it's worth a shot if it can get us any answers to what's happened to you."
Nezuko asked the question with the largest weight.
"What if there is no cure?"
"We'll never know unless we try looking."
"I hate it when you're right." she said and pulled his face against her chest. "What am I going to do with you?"
"How about letting me go? I'm starving." he said, mindful of the generous swell of her chest.
She fixed him a dinner, exclusively meat. Absently, her mind took her away to the highlight of her life.
That man, Muzan, he'd said his name was.
Nezuko clenched her fist. How could they have been so blinded by his articulate tongue and his smart clothes? A man like him had no business in their part of the world. But there he was, calmly erect in angry weather, asking directions to places that did not exist.
"You're not eating."
Tanjirou pulled her out of violent thoughts.
"I'm not hungry." she said.
"You haven't eaten since morning."
"I'm not hungry Tanjirou." she insisted unpleasantly.
He ate his fill in a silence so thick Nezuko felt bad for the tone she used. She stood up on the legs of a six year old.
"Where are you going?"
"Fresh air."
"Don't stay out too long. We don't know what's out there."
She wanted to reassure him that she was more than capable of looking after herself - that she could jump off a cliff and probably walk it off. But despite everything that happened nothing changed the fact that he was still her older brother, protective and just as fussy about her safety.
Outside she took a handful of snow and frowned at the lack of feeling she got from it.
The moon was high in the sky by the time she buried the carcass of the rabbit she had just killed, all fur with little to no blood. She made her way back to the cave and came across Tanjirou with his head held high.
"What is it?"
"I think I smell a fire." he said, pointing, "Somewhere in that direction."
"We should probably avoid going that way then." she said, somewhat put at ease when he nodded. "Do you think its anyone dangerous?"
"I don't think there's anything out there more dangerous than you right now."
Nezuko smiled and took his hand. "Come on, lets get you inside. You're practically shivering out here."
Tanjirou fell into deep sleep sometime later, unlike Nezuko who fell apart by the second. Her body was in a riot much like a breathing wound. Her head swam. Her eyes stung and what felt like a brick sat snug at the pit of her stomach.
She needed blood - now more than ever.
But not just any blood.
She looked over at Tanjirou, eyes desperate, fangs elongating at the small scent of blood lingering around the poorly tended wound.
Her skin became unnaturally warm. The feeling eventually progressed into distractions unable to be ignored. Itches, everywhere. She scratched her arm and winced when her nails pulled away bloody.
Panicked, she reached down to her brother and stroked his cheek.
"Tanjirou.. Tanjirou.. I'm-" she choked quietly, fingers running over the pulse in his neck, so calm and so beautiful to her ears. "I'm sorry.."
She closed her eyes and bent over to kiss him. With a heavy heart Nezuko got up and walked away from her only family. At the mouth of the cave she gave him a final glance, woeful.
Its safer this way, she thought. No doubt he'll come looking for her but she was convinced she'd be long gone by then.
Decided, Nezuko took to the trees with one great leap knowing full well the first thing her brother would look for would be footprints. Birds scattered at the noise of her rush as she darted into the direction of the poor souls he had alluded to earlier.
She came to halt at the sound of distant laughter. Thin whisps rose into the air not too far. Her eyes adjusted, penetrating darkness and murk.
Three men, a woman and a dog.
Up on the highest branch of a tree conveniently shrouded by the night, Nezuko's body transformed into the last thing her prey would ever see of this world.
A family from the looks of it too.
Tears ran down her monstrous face, both in remorse and helpless delight at the chance to sate an irrepressible hunger.
"Forgive me."
With that, Nezuko pounced.
