She pushed her glass far away from herself to his side of the table and stared down at the floor. Not able to look him in the eye, she hurt herself by saying that again, not just him. Swallowing the last of the burning liquid that had still been in her mouth, Bernice slouched over, bangs covering her face in shame as she parsed everything- adding one thing to another, trying to reach the goal of figuring out what to do. The silence was deafening, it felt like they were going to keep holding their breath until they both suffocated.

Benny gave in.

Letting go of a bated breath, she stared deep into the endless clouded sky behind Irving's eyes. His thin lips were pursed, his expression grave and fearful, concern and care lacing every feature. There was so much she wanted to say, but it was so hard to say it. She surrendered completely, stammering.

"I- I- ...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Really shouldn't have said that."

He cocked his head, contemplating less on the apology and more on that she thought she needed to apologize to begin with. His tone was pleading.

"Benny?"

Barely hearing that, she put a hand to her face and shook her head. "I know that was harsh and I don't know why I did-"

He gave her a pointed look.

"Benny."

Braxiatel, still failing to get her attention at all, she just kept trying to excuse herself. Brushing off his calling to her, she blinked, lost in the haze of trauma and anxiety. He was right in front of her, but still so far away. Her eyes drifted away into the distance, hands clenching into fists.

"I promised, it's wrong. Cruk-"

"Bernice!" he shouted, his sharp voice cutting through to her.

She snapped out of it, back to reality. That horrible stupor of conflict finally shattered and the world came into focus once again.

"What?" she looked back at him.

Brax took one of her hands in both of his and lifted it up comfortingly, his cold touch becoming an anchor point for her. "It's not that you said that in itself very much, what matters is if you meant it. Because I care for you, Bernice, and it's making me worried." His eyes flitted down to that hand, and therefore one thing that always itched at him- her wedding ring. While hardly at the top of the list right now, and he always respected what it did- what it was meant for always bothered him, and regardless of what Bernice said about her ex-husband, if she did leave, this symbol that she always bore might just tell for whom.

Taking note of him bitterly inspecting the glittering band of gold on her finger, she pulled her hand away again. "I... don't think I meant it. I'm just... tired. Haven't actually faced a lot of my personal issues in a long time. The whole running about the universe thing helps you forget. And it's not 'cause of you- this is just one blow after another. Don't- don't worry about me." She took a sharp inhale, then exhaled slowly. "Or my ex-husband, thank you very much. If you have to worry about anything, he's not it."

It still stung a little to Braxiatel regardless, but that was something he could get over. "It is, isn't it- I'm getting a little tired of it all myself. But what makes this different from before? What would make it worth running away?"

"It's just- if I have things, I can lose them too." Benny drooped, pulling away and withdrawing into herself. Bernice shuddered. She'd just been broken and put herself back together so many times over the course of her life. She was still only human- it wasn't likely something she could stand again. "Brax, I'm sorry-"

"I suppose you can, yes. It... does have a tendency to happen rather a lot to people you care about, doesn't it?" Irving rubbed the back of his neck, ran a hand through his hair, straightened his tie, and fidgeted with his cufflinks- every one of his nervous tics, one after the other. He knew he said the wrong thing, but there wasn't much better to say. After a long pause, Braxiatel shook his head. "But- no. Don't be sorry for that."

Her eyes were moist, but she kept going. "It's why I left the Collection after we fixed it in the first place. Or one of the reasons, at any rate. Out of sight, out of mind. If it all went to hell again, I wouldn't be here to watch it burn." Bernice let go of a pained sigh.

Brax knew the feeling. He'd given into it, more than once. "That isn't a temptation you're alone in having, Benny. You know all too well that I've done the same many times before." He thought about what he was about to ask for a second, then said, "But Bernice- what is it that you really want? From here, from me, from us?"

A single tear glimmered in the light as it slipped down her cheek. "To just... be able to keep it. Just this once. For how things are to last. It's the best things have been for decades- I don't need more than that."

That was something he still wasn't sure he could do, but he'd try his damn hardest. "Alright, thank you- yes."

Bernice choked up, taking and squeezing his hand again. "Just. Just- if for some reason I do break that promise and disappear... it'll be because it's gotten a hell of a lot worse than what's been going on lately."

Brax appreciated the touch, but it was bittersweet. "I know. I'm trying my best to keep things steady. With a little luck, at least at the Collection, it won't get much worse than this for a very long time. We'll be safe." He leaned over the table and lifted her hand up to his cheek. Staying in her reach.

But while she kept cupping his cheek, her eyes still narrowed to slits, suspicious and pessimistic. "It's not all about the Collection- you know that. Even with all the changes we made to make things better... what you'd still do to protect us-" It was a desperate plea. She wouldn't say it was about Peter, but she didn't need to.

His eyes fell to the drink he'd left untended as the pieces fell into place. "Ah. Yes. ...Taking things too far."

Bernice let out a long, strained sigh. "Yeah. My heart would break if we ended up on opposite sides again, Brax." Even if they weren't together, it barely mended itself when their friendship fell apart- and again, would scarcely heal now they'd made the move.

But he promised. With a tone so firm, it had to be strong and sturdy. A promise forged from his regrets and his hopes. "No matter what, I'm not letting that happen." He looked away, knowing exactly what this meant, but his eyes fell into hers when he found the rest of the words. "...I won't hurt you like that. Not again."

His hand rested on her cheek now, and she leaned into it. "I don't want to hurt you either."

Braxiatel's gaze fell to her lips, which had curled up- a tiny, fond smile- which he returned. He huffed in self-deprecating amusement. "What to think- I know we were pessimistic, but that warning of mine may have started this off on the wrong foot."

Her grin widened a little, followed by a soft chuckle. "No, no- it made sense. And I dunno how much more wrong of a start we could get than whatever the hell that was, quite frankly. But maybe it doesn't matter anymore. I don't really think it'll be your fault if things stop working." It was just a sliver of concern that got brought to the forefront- hardly her main thoughts on the matter of their relationship.

Irving's tone grew more optimistic again. Knowing how her concerns and desires fit into his certainly put things into perspective. "Preferably... things don't stop working. That might be wishful thinking, but..."

He may have trailed off, but Benny knew what he meant. "Yeah, I love you, Brax. And I'm not planning on letting things end anytime soon." Her eyes still had a damp glint, but it looked like she'd finally seen the light. If she could keep something, she would. As long as she had it. It was them against the universe- or, rather... the two of them for the universe as a whole, but standing up against the obstacles it still frustratingly placed before them, aiming to get up again if it knocked them down.

Braxiatel stood up, stepped to the other side of the table, and took Bernice's hand so she would too. While wordlessly- the hug was planned, but sudden and tight. Equally possessive, neither wanted to let go. She held onto him for comfort and stability, an anchor in the chaos, he held onto her so she wouldn't be taken away from him, and to remain absolutely sure that she was safe.

Pulling back, she sighed as he gently tilted up her chin and leaned in, eyes drifting down to her lips- but he hesitated for a moment. Was now really the right time for this?

Softly, she smiled. "Go on."

He smiled too, and pulling them together the rest of the way, their lips met. It was delicate and slow, accented by the tastes of gin and brandy. Bernice wrapped calloused fingers around the nape of his neck, warm pinpricks against his icy skin. Focusing on sensation and sensation alone, they were getting lost in each other.

Which was frankly rather unfortunate, because when a loud bell sharply rang out through the empty bar, they both jumped- Bernice accidentally biting his lip hard enough to break the skin.

"Oww-" Brax groaned, pulling out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and holding it at the cut to stop the bleeding. "What was that for?!"

Benny twisted around and shot a sharp glare to the man who was responsible, idly wiping down the bar, merrily humming.

"Jack!"

He only laughed. "While you two lovebirds are adorable- the Rabbit is about to reopen for happy hour. And I thought you didn't want attention drawn to yourselves? Privacy? Don't you have that in spades in your big fancy mansion over yonder, or is that just for show? Only the best for Irverfield?" Jack teased, flicking the towel melodramatically and pouting. It was a good point though, regardless of how they felt about the terms.

Rolling his eyes at it, finally getting a sense of humour about how Jack saw them, he snarked, "It's as much for show as your ridiculously high boots, Jack. Nobody's fooled, you aren't precisely six foot nine. It's immature."

The Kadeptian frowned as he smirked. At least it wasn't a jab on his name.

"...Yeahhh-" Pointing at the door, Benny picked up her jacket and winced at all the awkwardness. "...We should probably go..."

Jack regally waved as they stepped back through the threshold, the glass doors' tinted picture of outside becoming more saturated again as they opened. Late afternoon, the weather was imperfect, but not terrible. Overcast and chilly, wind whistling through the trees. There was going to be a storm coming soon. That wasn't hard to tell.

For now though, it was calm, if a little ominous.

But knowing that the sun would return again was comfort enough.

They just had to wait it out.

The quiet didn't feel like a crushing grasp on them anymore. There were the noises of the outdoors, of course, but it was more than that. They didn't fight. Not like a bickering couple, anyway. The closest thing was when the silence turned bitter and all their emotions were laid bare, too vulnerable to be of any help to the other. And when that bitter silence was broken, what they said or did had simply too much weight. It was a careful balancing act. Yet to drop much so far though, they'd hardly done it perfectly- but considering the direction this was all going, it was a start. This was still young though, there were plenty of mistakes to make. That didn't mean they didn't have hope for the future.

Benny leaned on him and held Brax close as they walked together.

"I don't have anything planned for this evening- care for a night in, Irving?"

He thought through his own plans for the time, and realized that aside from searching the archives, he was free for a change. Or, he was if he would finally get around to officially cutting his hours a little, at any rate. Braxiatel nodded. "Yes, I'd like that. Wine?"

"Nah," she waved him off. "Not for me this time, thanks. Still a tad maudlin already."

"Oh, well. Yes, that's understandable. Tea?"

Not quite in the mood for that either, the perfect thing popped right into her head. "Hot cocoa?"

Brax chuckled fondly, "I'm sure we can manage hot cocoa." Head dipping down, he pecked her on the cheek.

There was a faint taste of tears still, but they were dried up now, and Bernice was smiling brightly.

And how he adored seeing her smile indeed.