Jack was exasperated. Of course this had to happen. He'd gotten himself on the line with his boss and was getting desperate. Bernice was barely awake, and Roda was causing chaos yet unseen from the Rabbit's new location. He didn't miss nights like this at all. It made him prefer the philosophers who quite literally ordered in riddles.

"What is it this time, Jack?" the voice on the other end of the line on his communicator seemed drained.

"Irving- please send somebody to pick up Roda and Benny. They're drunk out of their minds and I believe they're both very close to passing out." He looked at the glazed-over stares in their eyes and felt a little bit sorry for them, but wasn't amused. Not tonight. They could be fun when they were buzzed, but this was long past the point of no return. They weren't exactly fit for pub games or karaoke. And he was running a one-man show.

Braxiatel audibly groaned, loud enough for other people to overhear. "...Why am I not even surprised? I'll be along shortly."

"Thanks, Irving. I owe you one. Or a lot of ones." But he was only resisting the urge to say 'Thanks for nothing, if I had another employee or three maybe this wouldn't be such a mess.'

Catching what Brax said, Roda piped up, "C-can get home on myy ooown..." then pouted as Jack put her back onto a stool, folding her arms on the counter and resting her chin on them. She could drink plenty more before passing out, surely- but the mood Bernice was in? Practically radiating tipsiness. Goddess of beer- it was actually rather believable.

But Jack held firm, chiding her. "Ah, ah, ah. You very clearly can't." If Jack was at his best, she'd have stopped by now. But the Kadeptian was just far too tired to attempt any sort of charming. And if he did try, with his mood it was still unlikely to work particularly well.

Roda stared up at Jack with a playful look on her face, hoping he'd relent. "Jaaaaaaack? If m'good an' have a glass of water... can I stay? Booze makes ma brain go brrrr. Don't think, then." She gave a massive pair of puppy-dog eyes that rivalled Diego's, but it was to no avail.

Jack sighed, for once seeing sense. "Sorry, dear, dear, dear Roda, but no. I'm cutting you off. As, by the look of things and the pattern of the spillage- it appears you've taken directly from the tap, which is against code," he tutted, but it was obviously a thinly veiled excuse to want them out. "I'm doing this because I care about you two, you know. Please do yourselves a very good favour and cooperate with Irving and myself for once?"

He wiped up some of the spilled beer, but the rag was instantly soaked through, and then groaned again. The one night he was alone to handle everything, the heaviest drinkers in the Collection decided to come. It started out fun, but it was getting on his nerves. "No more drinks. That's my final word on the matter."

Roda sighed, but stayed on the table, and didn't argue. But she did rock on her stool and tilted her head to one side cutely. "I'll help clean up...?" she offered, still drunk but looking embarrassed- adding, "Can I have s'water? Pleeeease?"

Jack relented. "No, I'm not trusting you to clean any of this up by yourself. But yes, water." A tall glass of frigid water then slid in front of her, then he wordlessly went to go fetch more rags, Roda blowing him a kiss as he left.

Barely awake and starting to crash, her aching head a distraction, Bernice propped herself up a bit. "-So is Brax gonna see us like this- or will summon else come...?" she muttered, to no one in particular.

Roda gripped the glass of water tightly with both hands and took a sip, looking at Benny over the rim. "Hi'l be mad at me. Prob'ly carry you home."

Benny sulked- she was just too tired to be angry, or much of anything, really. "Juss... juss wanna knoW. D-don' wan na th-thRow up on 'im 'gAIN."

"Drink."

Without another word, Roda slid her cup across the bar over to her instead. But Jack intercepted it with a single movement of his hand, and it clinked on the glass. He shook his head. "No, you need it dear, and there's something- an amazing technological marvel called a faucet behind me. I can get her her own water." He seems caring but was entirely done. Seeing Benny's state himself, he chose a considerably shorter and wider glass to pass her way. More spillage, water or not, wasn't ideal.

Bernice took a sip and in response produced a soft, relieved moan- Roda attempting to defend her dignity.

"Jus'- jus' make sure she drinks. If Brax'tel get s'mad at the 'fesser I- I'll... have stong worrds." Well- not now, but in the morning. A few hours, at least. Satisfied, Roda slurped at her own. Her metabolism kicking in, she was starting to think a little again too. It didn't seem to be working well though- and that's when she noticed the faint taste of ginger on her tongue. Oops.

Benny continued sipping at the water thoughtfully. Well, as thoughtfully as anyone could manage in this fuzzy detachment. "wanna... see braxxx..." she murmured softly. Almost asleep, Jack loudly snapped a screeching metal finger in her ear to keep her from drifting off, and she shot up again.

Reassuringly, Jack patted her on the head. Cute. "You'll surely get that soon... Just stay awake for me, alright?"

Roda kept silent, a thoughtful expression on her face. Those thoughts being either 'I don't want to be sober' or 'I wonder if I can get past Jack for more beer,' was quite likely.

Jack's eyes literally lit up when he caught a glimpse outside, knowing what it was just by the silhouette. "Oh, thank Kadept..."

And finally, as if time itself slowed, the bar quieted and the glass doors swung open as if by magic. A man stepped through, tall and making elegant strides. He stopped at the bar and shook his head. He rested one hand on Bernice's shoulder as she muttered something, head resting on the countertop. "wanna... see brax..." she repeated again, running her fingers through the knots in the wood.

"I'm right here, Bernice. I'm taking you home," he answered back, in a slightly disappointed but otherwise soft and reassuring tone.

"Don't fire me...?" Roda asked, trying to put up a brave smile and mimicking Jack's pleas from the meeting.

Jack only brushed it off. "Dear, dear Roda, it's hardly your fault. Bernice is simply a terrible influence."

But Braxiatel scarcely noticed, focusing his attention on the obvious target. Bernice had used all her might to push herself up and fall onto him, her legs immediately buckling after trying and failing to cling on, forcing him to support her with his arms.

A blissful sigh and a muttered "G-goddess, thankks- brAx," escaped her lips.

Patting Benny on the back, Brax glanced around. "I do hope at least one of you is sober enough to at least half-stumble home. I can't carry both of you and we all know which one I'll pick if it comes down to it." Also, who was making him visibly imperfect and not utterly unflappable did happen to have an effect on his image. He'd rather be prepared for that.

Jack pointed things out and summed it up, rocking on his heels impatiently for them to be out of his bar. Any help for that to happen. "Roda might be alright enough, if I give her a shoulder. Benny though? I sincerely doubt it."

Bernice grabbed onto Braxiatel harder and almost made the two of them both collapse. After a close call, he brushed himself off. "Yes, I see what you mean..." He pulled her up by the arms awkwardly and scoffed. "Bernice, I thought you learned by now not to try and outdrink a Time Lord."

"C'mon, Irvvv ving- iw 'as wun time!"

Looking slightly amused, he chided, "I don't believe I have enough fingers to count out quite how wrong that is, but we'll go with that."

Jack put a hand up to his face. "I don't think she was trying to, but... well. Roda did get a lot more than her. I can't exactly measure with them having taken straight from the tap- but Bernice hasn't blacked out yet, so we caught her on the brink, it seems."

Benny didn't respond, just staring up at Braxiatel with a lopsided, flushed grin. Irving's eyes paused on her, then looked to the other woman caught on the brink, his expression shifting to something much less fond. "... And Roda?"

She tried to brush any concerns under the rug by muttering something self-demeaning. "M 'fine. Y'don' like me an'way."

"I never said that." Brax didn't know what to make of her, and she could be a nuisance- but he didn't dislike her. She was a competent thief, if nothing else. And that was rather the point of her being on staff.

"M'not stupid. Juss- jus... Look after the pr'f'ssr."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm already doing that. Don't be a child."

"'M oLdeR than youu!"

"...I have my doubts." Troubled teen was still his leading theory by a mile. And this was furthering his suspicions. She was acting strangely too, and the symptoms were familiar- it wasn't just alcohol, was it? "...Jack, did Roda happen to... consume any ginger?"

She nodded. "Spill'd it. Act'lly, botttle under th' bar. S'ginger'y, 'y think. Left credits tho."

Jack looked around, bent over and picked up said bottle from the floor, inspected the label, and had a sniff. A large bottle of ginger beer for mixing into cocktails, completely emptied. "Erm- yes. This was definitely sealed before."

And that was that. Well- she wasn't sobering up anytime soon. "That would do it. Her tolerance has been lowered. Unless she was consuming only the strongest liquor we have on offer, she'd have been waterlogged long before being this inebriated."

Jack put a hand on her shoulder and patted it. "Oh, dear, dear Roda. Whatever would you do without me?"

"M 'fiiine... coud still drunk. -Drink," she answered, and pushed his hand away and sat up further.

But the Kadeptian only nodded sarcastically, slowly pushing any remaining drinks away from her. "Sure..." Lovely evening. Absolutely fantastic. Oh, the wonders of working retail indeed.

"I'm sure you could, but you won't. You'll go straight to bed."

"Won't. TARD-" she tried to fight back, but Irving shushed her easily.

Braxiatel shushed her and tutted, starting to lecture. "Yes, you will. And that's final. We'll take you to a guest room in the mansionhouse, you can sleep this off and not irresponsibly be given access to a timeship while under the influence."

"Ready to go, Irving?" Jack asked, ushering her to get up.

In response, he fumbled with Bernice, trying to put on a brave face as the almost completely limp woman repeatedly made him stumble. "...Give us a moment."

Getting their balance again, Benny nuzzled into Brax's shoulder and muttered something incomprehensible into it. Relieved, tired sighs, sometimes sniffing. By now she'd lost the world, but she still had him. "...mhm... brax. s-ssmellls niceee."

His cheeks flushed a little and they caught a few eyes. He patted her back gently as she continued nuzzling into him. "...Not in public, Benny."

Jack frowned and grunted softly at the pair of them. "I don't even have the energy to laugh at you right now..."

"No spring in y'step?" Roda snorted.

Bernice didn't seem to pick up on any of the comments, and just kept whiffing Irving's cologne, eyes closed and sighing. With her calm and content, it was at least slightly easier to finally get her in a good enough position to pick up. And finally, Braxiatel hooked his arms under her legs and took Benny, carrying her bridal. Just another one for the tally, now.

Jack shouted out an announcement that service was paused, and they started making their way out, stepping into the night. Braxiatel kept the pace slow, trying not to run out of stamina when carrying a full-grown woman over half a mile. Despite this, Jack and Roda couldn't keep up. And they needed to be with him to get in the mansionhouse.

Disgruntled and likely failing to take note of quite how tired Jack was, Braxiatel complained, "Roda- you do know that if you weren't on his shoulder, Jack could likely be at the mansionhouse already?"

"Juss a burrdn. Tol' ya you don' like me."

"Again, I never said that at all. I'd just prefer if a little more effort was made, to sober up or otherwise. I can't carry Bernice all night while I wait for you two to limp over."

"All things considered I think he's warming up to your usual charm."

"Ha! You said m'charming. I like you, Jagkrabb't."

"Yes, you are very charming. Now let's get caught up with Irving before he leaves us behind?" he ushered her to pick up the pace. "But if you're drunk-flirting, you're an excellent friend- not really my type. Probably. I mean, well, mayb- I have a boyfriend. I think," he stuttered out awkwardly, pulling her along on the cobblestones. At least he could see clearly enough, details in the dark were too vivid with his eyesight to trip over things other than his friend's feet.

"Not like like. Like like," she tried and utterly failed to clarify, clinging onto him for balance and shambling along for what seemed like hours as they finally approached the steps to the mansionhouse porch, the warm yellow lights from inside practically blinding in the dark.

Jack put his free hand to his face. "Godammit, just rest."

"Friend like."

Braxiatel sighed and rolled his eyes yet again. He'd be crossing his arms disappointedly too if there wasn't someone in them. "Roda, go to sleep or I'll dock your salary," he threatened. And he meant it.

"Not while she's leaning on me please, Irving."

"I gotta sall'ry?" she yawned, evidently having forgotten already.

"You're on retainer," Braxiatel answered.

She nodded groggily. "Ohhhh nice... Jus'leep 'ere, then..."

She tried to push herself out of Jack's arms and nearly fell down onto the marble steps. Jack yelped when he almost got pulled down with her. "Not here! On the steps? Have you no shame?"

"Steps?" With his warning, she realized what she was doing and fumbled back up to enough of a standing position to lean on Jack again and right herself. There was a reason Braxiatel wasn't letting her near her TARDIS. Roda shook her head. "Oh. Not here. Bed."

Jack sighed. "Good. Because caring for drunk friends is one thing. Peeling them off of pavement is another."

"S'fine. Can take care'a myself. Which way's TARDIS?"

"I told you, not in this state." Braxiatel opened the doors to the mansionhouse. Or, more accurately- they opened for him themselves, to bid their master entry. The man stood there on the threshold with them open and waited for them to scramble up and get themselves inside.

"We're at his chateau. I've never even been in here before and you get to sleep things off in this place... He's being nice, you know," Jack explained as they followed him in and were bathed in the golden lights.

It was warmer in here, and everyone needed to blink a few times because of the all-encompassing light and gleaming chandeliers. Bernice wasn't quite asleep and yawned instinctually at the change, but further turned into Brax's shoulder and uttered something that got muffled by the fabric of his jacket.

With the fresh eyes of someone who could barely remember anything about this place, Roda glanced around inquisitively. And despite her state, her observations weren't completely off-base. Odd that she seemed to catch the possibility more easily while lacking any clear perceptions, despite having done plenty of engineering work of all things.

"S'big house. House? TARDIS?"

"Never you mind that." Braxiatel made a quiet 'hmph,' but didn't deny it or add on anything else. She was half-wrong, half-right, but regardless, she also didn't need to know. His TARDIS was his TARDIS. The privilege of knowing what it was and what it wasn't was only his to give.

"S'TARDIS izn't'it," she insisted.

"Shut up, Roda."

"Fiiiiiiine..."

Down a few long corridors, everyone stopped at a door. Irving gestured, pointing his chin at a door. Jack pushed it open with his free hand. "Is this the room?"

Irving nodded, "Yes, that one will do."

"Alright, Roda. I think you can manage from here."

Jack let go of her arm and let her lean on the doorframe, balancing precariously between standing up straight and totally collapsing like a Jenga tower.

"Thank'yu Jackrabbit," she waved, starting to push and fumble herself over towards the bed.

"...byyeee..." Benny sighed at the two of them as Braxiatel started carrying her away.

Jack blew them all kisses. "Goodnight Roda- I'm excited to see you when you're sober. Same with you, Benny."

Jack watched and caught his breath as Roda sat back on the bed and wiped her eyes. She wasn't as awake as she thought she was- the comfort of the mattress was just so tempting. "Now m'tired... don' tell Jack."

He eyed her. Again with people thinking he was gone long before he was anywhere near leaving. It was becoming a running theme.

"I'm literally still right here."

"Shhhhh-..." Roda told him, as if Jack could possibly overhear himself- stretching out and the bed and yawning, relaxing into the pillow and pulling herself under the covers. He chuckled to himself about it and quietly shut the door.

Kadept, he needed some sleep.

But there was still work to do. He'd have to close up the Rabbit after what was undoubtedly a bad night for everyone else too, and do it alone. Maybe not sleep- perhaps just some coffee instead. Idly strolling through the halls of the mansionhouse back to where he came, Jack shook his head, a hand up to his face in resigned contempt. He started talking to himself. "Yes, I know I run a bar, but why do all my best friends have to be alcoholics?"


Once Roda was put to bed, Irving walked away so he could deal with Benny. It wouldn't take long, but it wouldn't be easy either. She'd lost most sense of reality by this point, living in and only in his arms.

"...brax? could'ya stay wifff me?" Benny murmured. "cubble?"

"Your room or mine?" Braxiatel asked offhandedly.

"'m 'llowed in yers now?"

Rethinking the question and the factors at hand, he shook his head. "Yes, and no- there aren't any spare pyjamas for you in mine. I'll stay in yours tonight. Perhaps some other day."

He carried her through the halls, upstairs, and into her suite, her falling asleep the rest of the way in his arms.

When Braxiatel reached her bed, he carefully shook her awake and made his intentions perfectly clear. "Bernice, I'm going to help you out of these clothes and into something more comfortable. Please don't misinterpret these as flirtations while you're like this."

She nodded, too tired to do that sort of thing anyway.

"Thank you. Now, if you'll please cooperate..."

He started rummaging in her dresser drawers, eventually pulling out a pair of soft flannel pyjamas. Warm ones, since she wanted him to stay and cuddle.

The jacket was easy enough to deal with. One arm out, then the other. Her jeans were a little trickier, but she helped push them down with all her strength, and he got the bottoms on with little trouble. The shirt however- was difficult, to say the least.

Trying to get the arms of someone so drunk, tired, and limp to stay upright long enough for this was not a simple task. With groaning, fiddling, and even a little swearing though, it was managed.

Braxiatel sighed in relief when her shirt was off of her. Avoiding so much as looking impolitely now, he realized with unfortunate certainty that despite his typically delicate hands and nimble fingers, he was terrible with bra hooks. Bernice had largely done that bit herself up to this point, and it was evident he'd need to learn. Putting a hand up to his face, he spent what felt like minutes examining exactly how to work these tiny clasps.

"You do these from behind every day?" he muttered, finally getting his fingers around them long enough to pull them apart.

Benny answered with a groggy, "Yup."

"How this is still just a social requirement nowadays is ridiculous- you complain about it but don't even need the support of one because you have...erm-" Braxiatel stopped when he realized that commenting on bust size typically got considered rude- despite the fact it was truthful, and he did normally like what was there.

He sighed in relief once more though, the hard part finally over. Getting it the rest of the way off, he pulled her into the shirt, and finally did up the buttons.

Done.

Brax lay her on the bed and got himself partially undressed as well- he didn't have his bed suit here himself, so he made do with just his trousers.

Irving got into the bed with her, and was in for a mild surprise. When she said 'cuddle,' he assumed what they'd mostly done so far. It was more like a desperate cling, Benny's arms squeezed around his torso like she had to be absolutely sure he was still there.

As if seeking something, Bernice crooked her nose between his spine and right shoulder blade, then rubbed her cheek up and down the cool, soft skin of his back, taking him in- his heartbeats and breathing, his body, his faint scent of tea, and cloves and nutmeg from leftover cologne. All familiar and reassuring.

She faintly smiled up against him and yawned as she drifted back to sleep.