Prompt #25: The porch - Elliot brings Olivia her favorite tea and they talk things out
Burned and Born Again
~oOo~
The buzz of his phone and the name illuminating across it are all it takes for Ayanna's voice to sound like it's trudging through miles of water.
"Stabler? Is everything alright?"
"Yeah… uh… I just have to go check on something right now." He checked the time on his phone, glancing at the message he's just received again. 5:23 pm. "I know it's a bit early, but do you mind if–"
"Go do whatever you have to do. Just… keep me posted if I need to be."
"'Course. See you tomorrow." His feet start towards the door before his hand snatches his jacket from his chair.
Hey man, you might want to reach out to Liv today.
Endless concerns loom over him and he takes just a second to text Fin back as the car engine roars to life. She in her office?
His gut seems to tell him the response to that question. Of course, she's still at work. His body leads him down the familiar path while he narrows down the circumstances that would prompt Fin to send that message.
The casual tone eases his mind, but only enough to allow him to function properly. An urgent call would have sent him into a frenzy. She's not hurt. Noah has to be okay too. She can't be hurt.
He tries to continue making his way down the list of possibilities when a reply from Fin brings him back to awareness at a traffic stop.
Yeah, she is. I tried to get her to leave, but maybe you'll have better luck with that.
The growing unease means that even the deafening silence in the car serves as a source of overstimulation for his senses. Another series of text messages from Fin arrive to interrupt his thoughts. Maybe she's just not feeling well and refusing to go home. It had definitely happened more than a handful of times throughout their partnership when he'd been forced to drag his semiconscious partner to catch a few hours at home.
She says she's okay, but you know how that is.
Don't push too hard. She's having a bad day.
And Elliot? Don't fuck this up again.
Not two minutes after Elliot receives the last piece of advice does he finally find himself pulling into a spot in front of the precinct. A bad case?
He spoke to her just two days ago, letting her know that they successfully closed in on the Brotherhood, and that, thankfully, marked the end of his undercover gig. Though there is little he wants more than to move forward in their friendship, he knew it best to let Olivia set the pace. So, when she responded to that message by briefly notifying him that they'd caught a major case, he simply replied to reach out if she needed anything.
A foot in the precinct and he greets the officer posted at the desk, flashing his badge and notifying him he was here to see Captain Benson. As he heads into the elevator, another buzz in his pocket startles him. Only this time, it's an incoming call.
Elliot feels his heart drop when he sees the name. Olivia. Guilt washes over him at not being able to get there fast enough and he picks up.
"Olvia?"
"Hey, sorry I don't mean to bother you."
"No, no, there's no bother. What's up? Are you alright?"
"I–I'm okay."
"Are you sure? Is Noah okay?"
"Yes, he's with Amanda's girls for the night."
Silence.
"Liv?"
"How… how are Bernie and the kids?"
"Olivia, what's going on?"
"Nothing… nothing Elliot… I'm just…" A deep breath. "I'm just sitting here trying to…" Another pause. "… trying to trust you again."
Oh.
His stomach drops at least two floors.
"How am I doing?"
"Well, you did leave without a word. Then again you texted me before doing it again. You lied about the letter. You tell me you never asked for my help and then that you love me. You ask about my dating history before anything else. So…"
"Not well I can imagine."
"I'm trying, El. It's just… hard."
"No, I know I haven't made things any easier… I'm sorry about that… what can I do right now?"
"I–I don't know… Do you think you can meet me here?"
"Well, Liv, the thing is…"
She knew this was a bad idea.
"Hey, look it's okay, I know it's short notice and–"
She thinks he's letting her down again and he can't stand to let her think that.
A knock at her door startles her into turning around, and there he is, standing at her door. She ends the call, immediately moving for the door on the other side of the room. As soon as she opens it, he explains. "I'm already here."
The smile on her face is unforgettable. The sensation of having her bright brown eyes looking up at him in relief almost distracts him from the redness surrounding her eyes. "You're here."
"Hey."
"Hey."
Her smile deepens and he can feel his own smile growing as well.
"How about we go get you something to eat. I can tell you've stuck yourself in here all day."
She sighs and the sadness settles back into her demeanor. Olivia moves back, and motions for him to come in. "I'm not really hungry."
Elliot takes the opportunity and follows her lead.
"How'd you know?" With her arms crossed over her chest, he can tell she still has her guard up. All his doing, nonetheless.
Tread carefully, he reminds himself. "Fin texted. Mentioned you won't leave the office. Thought maybe I'd stand a better chance." He offers her a lighthearted smirk.
She nods, her eyes staring down at her feet.
He hesitates, worrying he messed up Fin's last imparting wisdom. She makes her way over to her desk, suddenly fascinated with the pile of papers sitting on her desk. "You mad?"
"At Fin? No," she scoffs. "I'm just surprised it wasn't Rollins."
He nods, moving to stand closer to her. "Olivia." He notices her sigh softly and her eyes trail their way up to his. He can see the tears threatening to fall from them and she darts her eyes back down. "Hey."
"Why don't I drive you over to my place? Would that be okay with you? You said Noah was with Amanda anyway right?"
She looks back up at him, eyes sad and studying him. He brings a hand up to the small of her back and he can feel her trembling under his touch. "Please, Liv. I don't want to leave you alone right now."
Olivia's shoulders lift and she swallows harshly. "Are you sure? About this?" The weight of her question isn't lost on him. Are you sure about us? Are you sure you want me?
"Liv, there isn't anything I'm more sure of. I promise."
She shrinks away from him. "There's just so much you don't know, El… so much you've missed. I don't understand how sure you can be that you'll still feel the same when you realize I'm not the same person you left a decade ago."
"You're it for me, Liv." He closes the distance between them. "You just are."
"That still doesn't change the fact that you leave when things get hard. And I hate to have to tell you this, Elliot, but this isn't gonna be a smooth road. I'm not a particularly uncomplicated person to be with… I work long hours, I—I have a son who I'm not willing to let you break like you broke me! I can't keep bringing people into his life that leave, in one form or another.
"I've gotten used to it. You left the first time around and I had no one! Do you get that, Elliot? Do you understand that? I promised myself that I would never trust anyone as blindly as I trusted you. Trusting you now, El, it's breaking me down because… because for the past ten years I have had to convince myself that the next time we'd be in the same room was when one of us was ten feet under!
"And then you came back, out of nowhere! I dropped everything for you because you were grieving and you–as soon as you come back—because you–you were everything to me. And then you left… and then you left again, right as I thought I had my best friend back.
"I have–I have things that I'm still working through, every day, Elliot… things that you don't even have a clue about."
"I won't leave. I promise. I swear on my kids, Liv. I promise I'm not going anywhere."
"So when I ask you if you're sure, I need you to be sure. Not just for me, but for him too. Because he's my life, El. He's my whole life. And we're not just something you can try out and give up on."
"I would never. I do want to know you, Liv. I do."
"And you won't leave? Even when I make things hard? Even when I tell you some nights I wake up screaming your…" She catches herself, swiftly recovering. "Are you ready for that? Because I don't think you are."
"I want it all. All of you. Noah, the job, everything I know about… anything I don't."
"You want to know me, Elliot? You want to know? Then ask me. And I don't mean ask me out. I mean ask something… anything… even–no–especially if you're scared to ask it."
You have not asked me one question about what has happened to me, since you left. He approaches her, slowly at first. "I'm in, Olivia. I'm all in."
"Good. Because I am too."
"Okay." Carefully, he wraps an arm around her. She curls into him instinctively.
"Okay." She runs a hand down her face and God, does she look exhausted. "I'm done with this running. I'm not doing that anymore."
"I know. I feel the same way."
"Now, how about we get out of here before it gets dark?" He feels her nod against his chest and runs a hand across her neck in response.
He drops his other hand from her back and picks up her blazer, and lets go only long enough to help her into her blazer. "Come on, Liv." He manages to catch the hint of surprise in her eyes as he places a hand on the small of her back, encouraging her. Olivia grabs her bag and the two are out the door.
Let's go home.
~oOo~
"Are you sure you're not hungry? I'm sure Mama's got some leftovers in the fridge that she'd be begging you to have by now. Or we could order in?"
"No… I'm still not really hungry."
"Okay, well can I at least get you something to drink? Anything at all?"
"What do you have?"
"Wine, coffee…"
"Do you have tea?"
"Tea? Yeah, I think we do… jasmine tea, no sugar, a spoon of honey, still your usual? She hesitates only a moment and then smiles, nodding. "Yea."
Her seconds-long delay brought a smile to his face too. "Surprised I didn't forget your order?" "Maybe just a little."
He maneuvers his way around the kitchen swifty, deciding to have tea as well.
"Bernie did a great job with the garden… it's beautiful."
"Yeah, she loves keeping herself busy… over at Maureen's tonight watching the kids." He pours the boiling water into the two mugs and prepares them both the same way. He hands one over to her as he opens the patio door with his free hand. "Come on."
She follows him, and once they're seated in the two chairs set perfectly for the two of them, with their two steaming mugs in front of them, she takes out her phone to silence it. He watches as she places it back into her blazer pocket.
"You can ask, you know."
They'd driven in silence for the entire car ride, each replaying the words that were spoken at the precinct. Every chance Elliot got he spared a glance in her direction and she pretended not to notice.
He puts their mugs down on the table as his eyes search hers for confirmation. She nods, ever so slightly. Ask me.
"Alright… so… what happened today?"
He hears her swallow, sees her try to compose herself for the conversation underway, and feels the weight fall back onto her shoulders. "A combination of things I think…"
She reaches into her bag leaned against the leg of her chair, and withdraws a small slip of paper. Without taking another look at it, she places it on the table and glides it over to his side. A memorial card. Michael W. Dodds.
His eyes linger on the youthful features of the man, who doesn't appear to be a day over thirty until the date distracts him. Sure enough, the death date matches the same numbers his phone displayed all day.
She clears her throat and starts off the story with a sad smile. "A couple years after you left, once Cragen retired and Munch moved on… I was assigned a sergeant to compensate for how short-staffed we were. Dodds, Mike Dodds. You could say he got off to a rough start at SVU… and it was like that for a couple weeks. He was my boss's son and we were reluctant to trust him because of that."
"After some time, he proved himself, and a heroic act landed him a position of higher prestige. I admired him, so young and full of potential, so it hurt when he told me his time with us was over. Eventually, I accepted his decision." Olivia feels the hot sensation of his steady gaze focused on her but keeps her eyes downcast.
"On his last day at SVU, we got a call… it was a follow up for an earlier domestic violence case, and were only supposed to move the vic and her kids to a hotel with a few of their belongings." Elliot knows how dangerous domestic disputes can get. They'd seen them all the time on the force together. Husband who has nothing left to lose, kids who are too young to understand, victims who still care for their spouses, and… officers that get caught in the crossfire all too often.
He feels the hesitation in the way she studies her hands while she continues.
"Unfortunately, the husband beat us there and–long story short–my sergeant ended up in a hostage situation with the vic and her husband, refusing to leave her there. He got shot."
Elliot can't help but note the way she's almost shivering now, in the same way she did when they were in her office. He's torn. He wants nothing more than to steady her, remind her that he's here in some way, or he'd even settle for just offering her his jacket on the spring night. But it's important that she dissects this weight dragging her down, and even more imperative that he listens.
"They rushed him to the hospital and he survived the surgery. God… it was great to hear his voice. His fiance was so young…" For this, her eyes rise to meet blue and he sees a pain in them that he's never rarely seen them hold before. "They were gonna get married and have their entire lives ahead of them, you know?"
Knowing this story doesn't end well does little to prepare him for what comes next. "Mike died. Six years ago today."
"Sepsis caused a blood clot and he–he was declared brain dead… just hours later."
He knows exactly what's coming, but he still prays to God he's wrong. Fiercely, her eyes blink and when they open again, she refuses to look at him. Instead, he observes her line of sight being directed to the piece of paper by his end of the table.
"And all I could think… was how it should have been me." His eyes burn and his body begs him to close the distance between them. His eyes are unrelenting, taking in her every breath, making sure she's okay, but her eyes are glued to her hands again. The next word leaves his lips strangled.
"Liv–"
She holds up a hand in his direction. "Elliot, please."
"...I know that I had Noah home and he needed me, but all I know is my sergeant did not deserve to die that day and I'm the one that sent him in there without a vest… and without checking to see if anyone was armed." Her breath hitches and he readies himself to jump in as soon as her story draws to a close.
Seconds pass and just as Elliot opens his mouth, she stifles a sob.
"It's–it's my fault." Her chest heaves and her voice breaks off and Elliot has to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself in line with her directions.
She shakes her head no like she's arguing with someone and when she turns back to him, her tear-filled stare searches his eyes for an answer he can't give her. Why did he have to die?
"It's my fault he's gone." Tears are flowing freely now and she feels him lift up from his chair and approach her. "It was supposed to be his last day. He's dead because of my bad judgment."
Warm arms slip around her. She doesn't fight them. She covers her mouth with the palm of her hand, but she knows Elliot can still hear the next words that leave her mouth.
"His parents–his fiancée–all had to bury his remains because of me." Her eyes are closed, but she knows if they were open she would only be able to see the blue of his dress shirt and maybe the crook of his neck. One arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other hand shepherding her closer to him, if only possible.
Her throat stings. Even so, her voice manages its way out. "And that's just something I have to live with… I got—I got him killed."
A warm hand brushes against her face and there's an unfamiliar sensation of his lips on her skin, skimming her temple. His proximity almost disguises the "I'm sorry's" he's whispering to the top of her head.
"You didn't kill him, Olivia. You were the person trying to save the wife and her kids, not the batterer with the gun in his hands. We all know the risks of the job we take on. He was a good man doing the right thing, and you're right… he didn't deserve to die, Olivia… but that doesn't change the fact that you deserved to live. Both can be true. It is not your fault."
Minutes pass before she takes a steady breath and her voice finds her again.
"We caught a bad case of domestic abuse a couple days ago. And then… yesterday we lost our vic, which just brought back all this… loss."
"I'm sorry, Liv. I really am."
She nods into him as seconds pass and straightens up in her chair. "I hope they aren't too cold now." Motioning to the mugs, she smiles enough that it reaches her beyond the redness in her eyes.
He grins back at her and takes the hint to find his way back to his side of the table. "I can't believe you've got me drinking flowers outta cups again."
She chuckles lightly, rolling her eyes. "Again, it's tea." Her voice is still raspy when she continues, "...and it's supposed to be good for you."
His grin intensifies at the sound of her brief laughter. They take a sip of their drinks, neither caring that the drinks had in fact cooled.
~oOo~
You woulda'loved it.
"What?"
She takes another cookie from the bowl Elliot brought out for them. It was his way of compromising the "no dinner" clause she upheld tonight. As she bites into it, she repeats herself. "What did you do in Rome?"
The question catches him so off balance that it's as if those ten years spent transatlantic failed to exist in the same place that Olivia did. Where Olivia ended, Rome started, where Olivia began again, Rome ended.
"Sorry, I don't mean to–"
"No, no it just caught me off guard." He takes a breath. "Well… when I first landed the job, it was really just Kathy and Eli running around touring the city while I busied myself with the new position."
Olivia nodded, listening closely.
"A couple months passed and I started to warm up to the place… not as much as here, but it was beautiful. We'd take Eli to museums, when the kids came back for vacation we took them sightseeing. It was… nice."
"But honestly… years came and passed and I realized that most of my happiness stemmed of seeing Kath and Eli enjoying themselves. I'd never seen her so happy… and God, Liv, it felt so good to feel like I wasn't failing my kid for the fifth time… I was who I needed to be and it–it should have been enough… and I tried… but she could tell something was wrong."
"The last few years, she would ask me if I had spoken to you… I'd tell her the truth and she'd drop it with no argument. She didn't encourage me to reach out… and I knew I couldn't do that to you after so many years of silence."
"But if she believed you then, why did I have to confirm that to her in the hospital?"
He sighs, shaking his head. "I guess I was never really that good at convincing her… I don't know. Maybe she knew that I could never be whole without you in my life, so she was just surprised at how long I could go without contacting you."
"So the letter… that Kathy wrote…?"
"I think part of it came of anger, but honestly Liv? I think she really thought she was doing me a favor–and you. She was wrong to write it, and I was even more wrong in delivering it to you, but she knew I–and likely you too—needed more closure than just my disappearance."
"It would have been our best shot at moving on, and I think that's mostly why I gave it to you, even after I decided I couldn't go back there. I saw how much pain you were in… just talking to me and…"
"And so you decided that you'd twist the knife with that letter?"
"No… I just thought it would be all you needed to finally leave me in the past. By giving you that letter and passing it off as my own I was signing my name on a lie that said you meant nothing to me…
"But you didn't give up on me, and no matter how hard I tried to get you to stay away, you kept fighting. And I'll never be able to thank you enough for that… But in the back of my mind, I knew that letter left you hurt and more confused than ten years ago, so I told you the truth.
"So… to answer your question, I was a good father, an even better husband, and I helped build a home for them. But I wasn't home.
"And that's why– much to Eli's displeasure at first– we were never going back to Italy, once Kathy died."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry for giving you that letter, Liv."
"I know."
Silence befalls them once more. He wonders if he can ask what's on his mind without upsetting her. Her eyebrow raises, having caught his inner turmoil, encouraging him to get it off his chest.
"Did–did you ever get a package from me? After I left?"
She doesn't miss a beat and echoes his own words back to him. "'Semper fi, El'?"
"So you did?" He's not sure whether he's relieved she received his gift or embarrassed regarding his total-of-three-words goodbye. "The note with the medallion and my mini badge?"
"I did."
"Did you keep them?"
"What?"
"Do you still have them?"
Olivia blinks, noticeably taken aback by the question. She picks up her mug drinking the last bit of her tea.
"I… I wore the medallion for a while… but I wanted to keep it somewhere safe. So it's in my apartment. I actually started keeping it in Noah's room."
"And the badge?"
She swallows–hard–before answering."I also wore that one for a good two years… clipped it on my gun. Now, it's off sitting in evidence."
The blood drains from his face faster than the question leaves his mouth. "Evidence?"
"Yeah… It's–It's a long story, but if you don't mind, that's the one question I'd actually like to save for another day..."
The question is one that will surely keep him up tonight, with images that will no doubt burn its way from his imagination to memory. Nevertheless, Elliot drops it, having promised not to push her. "Of course."
He waits a couple seconds, leaving the next question for Olivia to ask. She picks up on his silence and picks a topic that will lead them in a more comfortable direction. "So how are the kids? Spoken to them recently?"
He nods, reaching over and taking a bite of a chocolate chip cookie. "They're good, yeah. Eli's grades are up. He's thinking of helping coach a couple elementary school kids' soccer teams over the summer.
"The twins are… doing well, thriving. Lizzie's finishing up her last year in med school. Dickie's thinking of taking some time off and going on vacation with his girlfriend. I think he might propose."
"'Kathleen landed this great job she's been wanting to get. She's really excited about it. Wants the whole family over for a 'small' celebration on Saturday."
"Maureen and her husband have their hands full with the twins who–"
Her abrupt laughter interrupts him and he dares not miss the beautiful sight by continuing. Her hand swiftly moves from resting on the table to spread across her chest as she bites back another round of unbridled laughter. Once he feels he's savored the memory of making her laugh, curiosity gets the best of him.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, nothing, continue please."
"With a reaction like that? Come on, you have to tell me."
"Well, it's just… you're old, Grandpa."
And just like that, Elliot's laugh erupts within the porch space, with Olivia's following close behind. Her smile is so bright he finds himself staring and aware of even the smallest of details within the scene. A sense of deja vu hits him, though he's not sure where the familiarity sprouts from. I could've sworn that–
"Seriously Elliot, you're a grandfather. How does it feel to be old enough that your babies have babies?"
Elliot couldn't dispute that time had taken its toll on the pair of ex-partners, but he'd definitely argue that time had been more gentle on her, fostering the same beauty he had only ever allowed himself to witness in glimpses over the years.
"Did you ever see yourself growing old without growing any more hair?" The laughing escalates, and he wouldn't want it any other way.
"Yeah, hahaha, keep laughing Liv. Just remember I'm not that much older than you."
She sobers a bit at that thought, catching her breath. "Oh, I'm not denying that. It's getting harder to recognize myself in the mirror every year."
"Olivia, come on."
"I'm serious! You know, I try to go to as many of Noah's events that I can… and his friends all have parents in their early forties. The mothers, most of the time even younger, don't even have a gray hair on their head or a wrinkle on their face."
"Liv, you're beautiful."
She smiles and Elliot hopes, prays even, that he's successfully walking the thin line between continuing the lighthearted tone of the evening and addressing very real fears he knows even she struggles with. "Elliot… you don't have to–"
"I thought we were done running… from this." He pauses, motioning with one hand the space between them. "I'm not going to sit here and pretend that you're not what you've always been: Beautiful."
He takes the plunge then, and reaches for her hand beside her tea, laying his gently on top of hers.
Her smile softens and she nods, using her other hand to bring the cooling mug up to her lips again. His touch is both new and familiar, minuscule yet invigorating. Her thumb presses against his.
She sighs. "It's also that most of them also don't have ankles that are a sprint away from a fracture either, or knees that… It's just that sometimes…" A second passes and his gaze shifts from his hands back to her, catching her running a hand through her hair. He can see her biting the inside of her cheek and knows that she's weighing her options in her head.
Sometimes after running around with Noah all day I feel the number. And then I worry about not being able to keep up with him aft–"
"There is nothing in this world that would stop you from being the best mom to that little boy, Liv. Nothing. He is living a great life. He's happy and that is all because of you.
"I just meant that it won't be long until my grandkids are running around calling you–" He pauses, realization striking him with what he was about to say. Slowly he brings his eyes up to study her reaction. Thankfully, Olivia seems almost touched by the idea of being present in the lives of his grandchildren. "Until my grandkids are running around calling you whatever it is you decide you want them to call you."
The silence is easy again, and Elliot takes note of how the scene unfolding before him is one he envisioned for all the years he was away. Just minus the fifteenth-century palazzo.
~oOo~
"So, tell me about them?"
"Who?"
"Everyone. Your family."
By the smile on her face, Elliot can tell he asked the right question.
"Well, you already know Fin. You met Rollins and Carisi, but I'm not sure you know that they recently got together."
"I had no idea."
"Yeah, and they seem to be really happy together. Her two girls love him."
"Over the years, so many people became my family. Munch, Cragen, my other partner Nick, Barba, before the trial…"
"Oh… I'm sorry if I–made things uncomfortable with him."
She takes a deep breath and runs a hand through her hair. "No, no. I'm just angry with him for… well… numerous reasons independent of you."
Elliot nods, simply.
"And as for Noah. I fostered him after we found him in a drawer, only a couple months old, after the lowest point in my life. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's so sweet, the funniest kid you'll ever know, and the best dancer I've ever seen."
"That's great, Liv."
The mug barely grazes her lips when a thought crosses his mind. He frowns, his eyes trailing down to his own mug on the patio table. The sting of realization replaces the sensation of the hot tea cascading down his throat.
"What?"
His eyes instantly meet brown and the guilt settles in the pit of his stomach. He almost doesn't want to taint the comfortable stride they'd found for the night and almost considers keeping the sentiment to himself. Almost.
But he can't do that to her. He owes her more honesty than he'll ever be able to grant her. An unexplained absence spanning a decade's length already having frayed the trust built in their time as partners.
It's time we stopped running, huh?
"I should have said this a long time ago and I'm sorry it's overdue. Olivia, I need you to understand how proud of you I am." His blue eyes land directly on her eyes. "I am so goddamn proud of you."
"Elliot, you–"
"And I'm not just talking about the ten years I missed. Especially those years, but I mean even while we were still partners too. I have always been proud of you. Every promotion you receive, every obstacle you overcome, the great family you've made for yourself and Noah."
Her eyes start watering, and all he can think is how she deserves to hear everything he's about to say.
"From the first case we worked… Liv you do the unimaginable. It didn't matter that I had more time on the job. Someone comes to you and they can be sure one way or another, you are their means to healing. God, Liv, I knew you'd do great things, but being able to sit here in front of you, seeing everything you've built, it's incredible. You're incredible."
God, he never should have left her. She deserves the world and if he could, he'd drop everything now to give it all to her.
His eyes never leave hers, and he hopes she can feel just how much he means every word.
"My point is, I wish I had been there to celebrate it all with you. I wish I had been there to help you build a crib for Noah. I wish I could have stood with Fin and the rest of your squad for your captain's ceremony. I wish you had felt like you had my support, even if I wasn't there physically. I wish I could have been there for you through Ed… Simon… everything. And that's all on me, I know. If I could go back… I would do anything to go back, undo the damage I did… to us."
Her smile is just as he imagined it for all those years they spent apart.
"You are someone to be proud of… immensely proud of, and I should have made that more clear from the start. I just needed you to hear me say that."
Seemingly speechless, Olivia reaches her hand over the table and takes his hand. "You have no idea how many times I've wanted to hear those words, El, really. Thank you." As she leans back in her chair, he can still make out the slight shine in her eyes.
"It kills me that I don't know your son, Liv."
"I know… I'm trying El, he's been asking about you, you know…"
"Really? I left that much of a good first impression, huh?"
"Something like that… I also think Amanda and Fin may have something to do with his sudden interest in my love life."
It's his turn to laugh. "I see. Doesn't really surprise me much about Fin, but Amanda?"
"Oh yeah, she's definitely giving some interesting advice regarding you."
"Really? Like what?"
"All I'm gonna say is it involves the phrase 'getting it out of our systems'."
"Wow. Very straightforward directions."
She nods. "My reaction exactly. Why doesn't Fin playing matchmaker surprise you?"
He smiles. "Get this… he actually messaged me asking if it was okay for him to set you up with Phoebe's brother!"
"What?!" Her hand slams down on the table in shock. "He told me he was trying to set you up with her sister!"
Elliot's jaw drops and Olivia bursts into laughter.
He scoffs, chuckling too. "Oh, he's good."
"I don't even think I remember Phoebe ever mentioning any siblings."
"Of course not! They probably don't exist." The laughter settles and a question comes to him. "So what did you tell him?"
"Tell who what?"
"Noah, when he asked about me."
Her lips curl up into a smile. "I told him that you came back from far away. And that he'd likely be seeing you around more often. I didn't lie to him right, El?"
"Nope."
"No more running?"
"No more running."
"Ask me."
"Ask you what–oh." Her request dawns on him. "Are you sure?"
She nods, eyes bright and expectant.
"Olivia… would you like to come with me to Kathleen's on Saturday to meet the grandkids?"
"Only if the invitation is open for another guest as well. I hear he's very excited to get to know my old partner."
"I'd love that, Liv." And the detective smiles, a happy smile, full of anticipation.
"Me too."
Elliot stands up from his chair, leaning forward to place a hand on top of hers, and squeezing. "So can I get you more tea? Will you let me order something for you now? I know you haven't eaten all day."
"I'll definitely take you up on the tea offer. And does the offer of Bernie's homemade leftovers still stand?"
"Always."
"Thank you."
Confusion builds in her features. "For?"
"Trusting me." With that, he takes off inside with their mugs.
"And El? Can I be honest with you?"
He freezes, hand on the door handle to the porch. "Yeah."
"…I don't take honey in my tea anymore."
The pair of partners share undeniable grins as he shakes his head. "Any sugar?"
