This is a filler-side-story type thing for the Durandal: Battle Academia story I've written – but it's disconnected enough that reading through that isn't really required (I hope), and doesn't really have any stakes on the actual narrative of the main story.
The stories of Durandal come in all shades; the epic, the short, the heartbreaking, the true. Stories of great power, great proclamations of love; the brightest of lights alongside the darkest of nights.
Our story begins as unassuming as it gets – Luxanna Crownguard, a paragon of light, lady of luminosity, caught her close friend Alune Rakkor, the gentle and tall, with a frown far deeper than any she'd seen before. In the weeks before, Alune's brother, Aphelios the silent, had decided to take a trip to one of the other God-Weapon Academies, to visit, in his words, 'a warm friend'. Alune, after his departure, had become increasingly quiet and reclusive – and feeling a sense of responsibility and desperation to help the girl, Lux sought guidance from her club President, Ahri Kkoli the many-tailed and very-tired, who, for better or worse, was engaged in a rather furious match of Pokermon with Yasuo the Drunk, who overheard and offered his experienced assistance.
And thus, the Game was born; a game that Yasuo was intimately familiar with, Ahri begrudgingly knowledgable, and Lux unwittingly convenient. Yasuo proposed a DnD session, a session that while, at the time, seemed innocuous – innocent, even – would become the most important session of DnD to ever be played.
Involved would be the usual suspects;
Ezreal Lymere, the brave and the thoughtless,
Ekko Lenare, the genius and the tardy,
Zoe Marus, the innocent and destructive,
Irelia Xan, the prude and the humourless,
Qiyana Yunalai, who was not invited,
and Taliyah Stoneweaver, a friend of Yasuo, part of his regular gaming group.
These were the heroes Yasuo hand-picked to brave the shores of his store-bought one-shot session (of which he extra-legally obtained an online copy), but he forgot one crucial detail.
Nothing would have prepared them for the evening ahead as the group sat down at the dorm's table, emulated fireplace of the first floor balcony crackling in the background.
'So,' Yasuo said, rubbing his hands together from behind the Dungeon Master's partition. 'We ready to do this thing?'
Around the table (which was three tables pushed together, the group was pretty large) the gathered nodded. To Yasuo's direct left was Ezreal, who wore a wide grin, followed by Ekko. Zoe was next – she was outfitted in another pyjama onesie, this time a lion – with Ahri taking the seat at the other end of the table. Coming back from her was Irelia, followed by Lux and Alune, who was placed next to Yasuo so that he could explain any rogue rule that came up to her.
'I'm so excited we're doing this as a group,' Ezreal said, grin wide and pages of paper at the ready.
'It's been so long since we've done anything that isn't sit around and train,' Ekko added.
'Yeah, I'm ready to Dungeon and Dragon. In that order, specifically,' Lux said, hoping to join in on the banter.
Zoe groaned. 'Boooooo!'
There was a shuffle, before a figure with scruffy, pink hair and a grin popped over to the table, waving a single hand. 'Sorry I'm late.'
'Hey, don't worry,' Yasuo said, waving to the newcomer. 'Everyone, this is Taliyah, she's a regular in the other campaign I play. She's in Sorcery.'
'Sup,' Taliyah chirped, taking a seat next to Ahri. 'Heya, Prez.'
'Cute sweater, Taliyah,' she replied, the clothing in question was oversized, pastel, and probably very comfy.
'Thanks, got it on discount.'
'Okay!' Yasuo clapped, with a tentative glance to Alune, whom Yasuo could indeed confirm was looking a little more down than usual. 'We're going to start. So how many of you have actually played DnD before?'
Ahri and Taliyah raised their hands, expectedly, but so did Irelia, to Yasuo's and, well, everyone's mild surprise.
'You've played?' Ahri said to the girl, confusion ripe.
With a blush, Irelia nodded. 'My brother Xelos is a geek.'
'Whoooaaaa,' Zoe said, 'You just shot up like, fifteen cool-ness points, Ire-Ire.'
'Whatever,' she grumbled, blush deeper in her cheeks, 'just hurry this up, Yasuo, I've got places to be.'
Ezreal stood, standing proud, exclaiming, 'We are going to Dungeon this Dragon so hard, just you wait!'
'W-woo!' Alune said, though not nearly as loud.
'Great,' Yasuo said, standing straight, a grin taking it's place. He held his hands out, over the table, waiting for the group to quiet, to tell them of their journey's perils. He said, his voice taking low tones and husk;
'The world of Runeterra is not as we know it. It's -'
'Oh, booo!' Ahri called. 'Come up with an original name!'
'Shut it, Fox, I had like two days to prepare something,' Yasuo said. He huffed, then continued; 'Runeterra's a world shattered by war; war on the shores of Ionia, from the heart of Noxus, war between the top of Zaun and the bottom of Piltover, war shudders from the inside of Demacia, but the world is bright, and rife with magic! Creatures of wonder populate every corner, from -'
'I wanna plaayyyy - ' Zoe said.
'Shh! Let him explain the world, it's important,' Irelia said.
'Ewww, just let me shoot stuff.'
Yasuo sighed and shrugged. 'Okay, here's the sitch. The previously concluded war in Ionia has left the people scarred, and the land afraid. Folk are turning against each other, fear of lingering spies and the abstract lies that simmer just beneath the surface. We go now into a mountaintop temple, one of many, tall and angled, red and white, and we see a girl walking the steps up to the entrance. Alune, would you describe your character, please.'
Alune jumped, shocked, looking around with wide eyes. She stammered; 'I, uh, I - '
Yasuo caught a glare from Lux, hard and cold. He gulped.
'Wait, that's fine, we'll start with, uhh - '
Shit. He'd prepared the story around her, with hopes that by being the main hero, she'd be more inclined to be... well, happier. But from Lux's glare and the Lunari girl's reaction, that was a... little bit of a mistake. His mind raced, thinking of something he could use instead.
Thankfully, he needn't think far, as Ezreal raised his hand with a smirk so deep it might've drowned. 'I can go.'
'Great – Ezreal, please describe your character.'
Ezreal lowered his hand and cleared his throat. 'Jarro Lightfeather. Sentinel of Light, Eighth order.' He gave a tiny flick of his hair. 'He's a national hero.'
To his side, Ekko snorted. 'Uh-huh.'
'Jarro, you're walking up this staircase, past a girl, staring down into the temple's doors, ajar as they are. What do you do?'
'Jarro goes through.'
'In character, please.'
'Ugh, you're one of those Dms,' Irelia grumbled.
'Shhh!' Zoe said, suddenly paying very close attention.
'I - Jarro – look at the doors and walk on through.'
'Great, inside you see - '
'But first I need some water,' Jarro said. 'I mean, stairs right? I'd imagine I'd been walking like, for a couple hours or something. Do I have any water on me?'
'You – uh,' Yasuo said. 'Sure, probably.'
'I take a nice, long sip.'
'Great, so inside - '
'Can I go now? Pleaseeee?' Zoe said, nearly bouncing off her seat.
Yasuo's eye twitched. 'Fine. Zoe, describe your character, please.'
'Wait, Lightfeather?' Ekko mumbled.
'Okay, so! I'm Ganymede Kelly Powers, I'm a Magic Wizard Witch - '
'Wild magic sorcerer,' Irelia said, softly pointing to the class section on Zoe's character sheet.
'Oh, right, that, thanks, so – I'm like, two meters tall, and have this like amazing long pink hair that goes down to my knees, but it's super well kept, you know, and I'm really pretty - '
'Oooh,' Taliyah said. 'Cool.'
'Okay, great,' Yasuo said. 'Uh, so Jarro, across the courtyard you see this tall, pretty girl - '
'Actually, can I be an Owl-person? They're super cute,' Zoe said.
'No. I told you already, once we sit down, your character is locked. You're a human.'
Zoe pouted, eyes looking down.
Irelia's face locked gaze with Yasuo. 'Yasuo.'
He nodded. 'Irelia.'
'Let. Her. Be. An. Owl.'
'No.'
Irelia glared.
Yasuo stared back.
Irelia glared.
He kept in the groan. 'Okay, fine, Jarro, across the courtyard is this pretty Owlin, what do you do? Reminder, the door's still open.'
'Damn, Yas,' Taliyah said. 'You weren't kidding about her stare.'
Irelia glared.
Taliyah shuddered.
Ezreal smiled at Zoe, who was beaming again. 'I'll go talk to the Owlin.'
'Yay! Hi Ezreal!'
'It's Jarro, actually. Jarro Lightfeather.'
'Seriously, where have I heard that before - ' Ekko muttered.
'What brings you here, Ganymede Kelly Powers?'
'You don't know her name, Jarro,' Yasuo said.
'What? No! Ezzie and I are like, besties! More than besties, even!'
'Jarro,' Yasuo said.
'Can't we just say, like, we know each other? Does Ganymede have a job?'
'Nuh uh.'
'Wanna be a sentinel?'
'Oooh! Yes yes yes!'
Yasuo, burying the deepest of sighs, clapped his hands together. 'Great! So Ganymede and Jarro, two co-workers from long past, reunite at the top of the Temple steps. The door is still open. What do you do?'
'Uhhhh, I dunno. Ezzie – Jarro? What do we do?'
Jarro nodded sagely. 'Let's go inside. Oh, also, do you need water? I have some.'
'Yes please!'
'Here,' Ezreal stood and handed Zoe a bottle, then sat again.
Zoe stared at the rim of the bottle.
Ekko shot up. 'Wait! Lightfeather! You named yourself after your hair clay?'
Ezreal winked.
Yasuo continued; 'Inside the temple is a great hall, high-ceilinged and muted red, with flecks of colour dotting down in form of innumerous, swirling petals, each of a different colour and shade, none like the last. In the centre is a great statue of a praying woman, with a weeping lady at the base. She's garbed in the Temple's Acolyte clothing.' He sat. 'What do you do?'
'Can I cast Fireball?' Zoe said.
'No!' Yasuo said, but caught himself. 'No. No, I wouldn't recommend it, not yet, Ganymede.'
'Jarro wants to investigate the edges of the room for traps. Can I do that?'
'Uh,' Yasuo said, checking his notes. The room was supposed to just be clean, the only point of interest the crying lady, who would hand out the quest. He shrugged. 'Sure, roll me perception.'
'Ooo, first roll of the day,' Ahri said, not even trying to hide her amusement at Yasuo's frustration.
Ezreal stood, purposefully reaching for his die. Yasuo stood, too – so he could see what he rolled in the shared-player-dice-tray he'd set out earlier. Not that this roll mattered, but appearances were important.
Ezreal took a dramatic pose – then let the dice fall.
It rolled.
And rolled.
It stopped.
'Natural 20!' Ahri exclaimed, head throwing back in laughter.
'Woooo!' Ezreal said.
'Is this good?' Alune said, over the enthusiastic calls.
'Yeah, it's the best you can do,' Lux whispered to her.
'So, what do I find?' Ezreal grinned at Yasuo.
He shrugged. 'Room's clean. Could use a sweeping. Smells kinda funky.'
'Huh? Oh - '
Quickly, Yasuo shook his head and began racing through his item list. 'Wait! Uhhh, you find... a potion of healing. Yeah. There's a chest, hidden behind a few lockers and smaller statues similar to the big one, and inside is a lone potion. You can add that to your inventory.'
'Ayy, not too bad!' Ekko said, grinning up at Ezreal, who high-fived him.
'What do you do now?' Yasuo asked. 'The lady's still crying at the base of the statue.'
'What about Chill Touch?' Zoe asked.
'You know what, actually, at that moment, another person enters through the door, a girl. Alune, would you describe your character for us?'
'I'm with her,' Lux said.
'But we discussed -'
'I'm with her.'
Sigh. 'Fine. Lux, you can go after Alune.'
Lux smiled at Alune and rubbed her shoulder encouragingly. 'Go on, we're together here.'
Alune returned the smile. 'Okay.' She looked to the rest of the table. 'My name is Alice Moonsilver. I am a druid, and I am liking to paint.'
'And I'm Lily Hyacinth,' Lux said. 'I'm a cleric of light accompanying my long-time friend Alice.'
'Oh, speaking of, what class are you, Ponytail?' Ekko asked.
'Warlock. My gauntlet's my patron deity, which is possessed by the spirit of my late father.'
Everyone groaned.
'Hey! Warlocks are cool!' Ezreal said, defensively.
'Okay, so Alice and Lily walk into the Temple and you see Jarro and Ganymede, along with the lady. Do you talk to her?'
'First we introduce ourselves to the other two,' Lux said.
Alune nodded. 'I am liking to know them.'
Ezreal grinned widely. 'Jarro Lightfeather, sentinel of light, Eighth order. Nice to meet you lovely ladies, especially you, miss Hyacinth.'
Ekko groaned. 'Ugh. Ponytail, don't be weird in game.'
'Yeah, that's kinda creepy, Ez,' Irelia said.
'Oh, screw you guys,' Ezreal said, pulling his hand back with a scowl. 'You're no fun.'
'Hello, Jarro Lightfeather, Sentinel and hero. How do you do? I am Alice Moonsilver, and it is a pleasure to meet you,' Alune said.
Ezreal smiled. 'Ah, likewise, Miss Moonsilver. May I?' He gestured for her hand.
She presented it. 'You may.'
He kissed it.
Everyone groaned.
'Okay, okay,' Yasuo said. 'As you flirt, the woman is still crying. What do you do?'
Ezreal pulled his hand back quickly. 'Not flirting,' he grumbled.
'I approach her,' Lux said, voice taking on a authorial tone. 'Hello Miss, what seems to be the problem?'
'Finally,' Yasuo grumbled, before clearing his throat and getting into character. Then, with a forced edge of wetness to his voice; 'Oh, hello, I'm so sorry – look at me, crying, I'm so sorry - '
'Don't worry, we're here to help,' said Lux. 'What caused you this pain?'
'Yasuo,' Irelia said. 'Why were you hiding that you could do voices?'
Taliyah smirked. 'Pretty good, ain't he?'
'The Princess... she – she... She's gone!' Yasuo said.
'A Princess in danger!' Ezreal said. 'My type'a situation.'
Everyone groaned.
'Oh, piss off! None of you want to role-play?'
'I do!' Zoe called.
'Oh, me too,' Ahri said, grinning at Irelia, who looked away.
'Where did this Princess leave to?' Alune said.
'I'm not sure... They – they came last night, and took her! She starts crying again,' Yasuo said.
'We'll find her,' Ezreal said. 'On my name as a Sentinel.'
'Yes, we will save this Princess,' Alune said.
'Now can I cast Fireball?'
'Oh please, Miss Pretty Owlin, no fire in here – the goddess doesn't appreciate her place of worship being burned to ash,' Yasuo said, falsetto.
Taliyah and Ahri snorted.
'Aw,' Zoe said. 'Okay. Where do we go to find baddies to burn?'
'Oh, if you are willing to help us, you must speak with the bard, she was just here, she might be in the nearest town. And you see, before she finishes, she looks at Alice and produces a glowing orb about the size of a fist. She says; "this is a powerful magic channel, miss, it's not much, but I hope it's power can aid you in defeating those who took her."'
'Okay, Prez, so can we go to the town?' Ezreal said.
'I'm not 'Prez' tonight, Jarro, I'm your DM.'
Irelia's eyeroll was loud.
Ezreal, however, nodded. 'DM, let's go to the town.'
'Okay, so the four of you start heading towards the town, it's about a two hour trip. Once you arrive - '
'Two hours?! Can't we like, fly there?' Ezreal said.
'I can! I'm an Owl-person, I can fly, right?'
'Ohh, can you take us with you?'
'No, you guys are too heavy,' Yasuo said. 'If Ganymede wants to fly there, she has to go herself.'
'Okay! I'll meet you guys there.'
'Great, so let's skip to the town, you guys meet up and everything, and - '
'Do we see anything cool during the walk?'
'Sure, you see some dragons flying about, I guess.'
Zoe ooo'ed. 'Can I cast fireball at them?'
'No.'
She pouted. Irelia's eyes started narrowing.
Yasuo pointedly – and impossibly – ignored her.
He said; 'You walk into the bar, it's dark and seedy. Low ceiling, wood, a musk of hushed mist smokes throughout the room. It smells of cheap beer and good times. At the far end there's a long bar, stocked to the brim with every kind of trashy liquor, every colour and every bottle unlabeled. Across from that is a stage with a tall lady with fox ears and a tail singing a slow song. What do you do?'
'Ooooh, Tails! Is that you?!' Zoe said.
Ahri smiled. 'Who knows?'
'I saunter up to the bar and say to the barkeep; "fine establishment you've got here",' Ezreal said.
'He looks you over, this guy's in his like, mid fourties, rotund, balding. He's got a handlebar mustache and an eye of steel. He says to you; "what'll it be, kid?"'
Ezreal grinned. 'Whiskey, neat.'
'You got ID?' Yasuo said.
Ezreal blinked. 'Uh, Jarro's like, 20 or something.'
Yasuo shrugged. 'Do you have ID?'
'I produce my Sentinel Identification card. There? Says I'm 20 – wait, 22. Can I have my drink?'
'Does it also say you're a National Hero?' Ekko snickered.
'Roll me deception,' Yasuo said.
Ezreal frowned, but stood up to roll. 'I mean, I'm not deceiving anyone, but I have really good charisma, so this is fine.'
The dice rolled to a stop. Ezreal frowned and checked his character sheet.
'Uhhh, 11?'
'You see the barkeep leans over, scowls, looking between you and the card. A few moments pass, before he just shrugs and says "don' serve minors. Bad morals to do that. Ain't no ID that says 'National Hero' on it real".'
Ekko started cackling.
'Oh, come on!'
'I want that wizkey thing! Gimme gimme,' said Zoe.
'You see that the barkeep smiles and hands Ganymede an oak-coloured drink. He winks at you, "On the house".'
'Dude,' Ezreal said.
'I want to be asking the Barkeep; Have you heard about the missing Princess?' Alune said.
'Ah, finally, some initiative,' Yasuo said. 'He says, "Princess? I'on heard nothin. I ain't paid to hear nothin. But..." he leans closer to you, voice barely a whisper, "some of the fellas in here might be a little more loose-lipped, ya get me?"'
Alune nodded. 'Yes. Thank you very much.'
'Can we go and talk to the singing lady?' Lux said.
'As you walk over and settle down at a table closer to the stage, the wonderful, melodic voice of the singer fills your ears. Ahri, you're up.'
Ahri made a long and pointed stretch, before standing, tails fanning out behind her. 'I'm Calliope Rightspells, bard by trade and lover by nature. I'm a tiefling, which means I'm a half-demon, and the demonic blood has taken form by way of some fox-like features. I - '
'And you complained about me being unoriginal,' Yasuo said.
'Oh, hush, you,' Ahri said. 'I've got red hair and I'm dressed nicely, in flowing robes of green and blues. I'm currently singing an acoustic rendition of a popular song.'
'What song? Can you sing?' Zoe gasped. 'Can yousing now?'
'Please don't let her,' Irelia muttered. 'I still haven't recovered from our karaoke session.'
'The first of many,' Ahri said happily.
Irelia shuddered.
Taliyah blinked. 'You can sing, Prez?'
'Please, don't,' Irelia said.
'Miss Bard, what can you tell us about the missing princess?' Lux asked.
Ahri dramatically swept back her hair. 'Ah, the Princess! Yes, I've heard a thing or two, and would happy to share my knowledge for, say, a pint of the house's tap?'
'I lean over the bar and call the old guy over to buy her a drink,' Ezreal said.
'You see the barkeep catches Jarro's eye and scoffs,' Yasuo said.
'Can I buy her a drink?' Lux said.
'Sure, barkeep nods at Lily.'
'I will buy a drink, too,' Alune said.
'He hands you, Alice, a fruity cocktail, and Lily, two pints of beer.'
Alune feigned taking a glass, nodded politely at Yasuo, then reached over the table and handed Ezreal a box of juice. 'Here, Sentinel Lightfeather.'
Ezreal blinked, then grinned and took it. 'Thank you, Miss Moonsilver.'
Everyone groaned.
Ahri feigned taking the glass with a nod. 'Thank'ya kindly, miss. Now, y'all say a Princess?'
'A waitress approaches you, dark hair tied up in a messy bun and shirt strategically positioned to give just enough cleavage to get more tips than - '
'Yasuo, don't be a pest,' Irelia said.
He grunted. 'Fine. She says, "Right, anything else, miss Rightspells?"'
Ahri smiled so sweetly that it prompted an unconscious shudder inside Yasuo. 'No, that'll be all, Naomi. Thank you. Oh, and I wink at her.'
'Naomi, who you're familiar with, blushes slightly before hurrying away.' Yasuo then silently rolled a dice silently behind his DM's partition, a four. He checked his random event sheet – a four meant he would start an encounter. He cleared his throat.
'As you're having this conversation, a hardened and gruff voice pierces through the air of mingling conversations, and you hear "what'd you say bout my mamma?!" followed by a dull thwack through the air.' Yasuo looked to Ekko. 'Ekko and Irelia, describe your characters quickly, the rest of you, roll me initiative.'
Ekko cleared his throat and grinned. 'I'm Alain Clockwork, and I'm just a humble blacksmith, pushing the very limits of what technology can bring. I have a gun.'
'What? Dude, it's fantasy,' Ezreal said, rolling his die. He frowned. 'Uh, three on Initiative.'
Ekko shrugged. 'I wanted a gun.'
Everyone yelled at Yasuo their rolls, and he noted them down. 'Alain, you're sitting at a table a couple seats away with a tall, dark haired girl. Irelia, character please, and don't be boring.'
'Shut up, Yasuo,' Irelia said. 'My character's called Aster. She's a paladin.'
Ahri raised an eyebrow. 'Very detailed.'
'I'm not good at role-playing,' Irelia said, a slight blush on her cheeks.
'There's a shocker,' Yasuo said. 'Aster's next to Alain, they're both from this town. You see this fight start and, like a well-oiled machine, get up and jump into the fray.'
'Yeah, happens every alternating Tuesday down here,' Ekko said.
'Yep,' Irelia said.
'Okay, great, we start with Zoe. You see a big dude about ten feet away from you, and a group of three dudes all brawling on the floor together. What do you do?'
Zoe grinned a devilish grin. 'Fireball!'
Yasuo locked Zoe in a glare. 'Zoe, I'll level with you for a sec. If you cast that in here, a tiny-ass bar, you will kill everyone. Every. One.'
'Boooo! Let me go vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, brrrr, BOOM! Ya know?'
Taliyah nodded. 'I get you.'
'You'll get a chance, don't worry.'
'Fine. Guiding boom!'
'Bolt,' Irelia said.
'Yeah, that!'
Yasuo rolled the save. The guy missed. 'Okay, damage?'
Zoe rolled three dice. Instantly, she said, '22! Do I win?'
'Not yet. Also, roll me a d-hundred, we'll do your wild magic.'
Everyone oo'ed, except Alune, who tilted her head.
'What is this meaning?'
'Oh, it's this super cool thing, like, every time I do something, I get this random KABOOM! Y'know?'
'Umm. No?'
'Doesn't matter! 2!'
'Yooouuuu,' Yasuo said, checking, 'levitate a meter off the ground for 1 minute.'
'Cool! Can I fireball now?'
'No. Next, Lux?'
'I want to ask these people why they want to start a fight in the middle of a bar. Maybe they've had a really stressful day and are underappreciated at their jobs - '
Everyone groaned.
'Boo!'
'One of the guys uses his reaction to you being annoying to turn and punch you in the face for,' he rolled, '10 damage.'
'What the hell? Ow?'
'Is Naomi okay?' Ahri asked.
'Oh, yeah, Naomi's used to this kind of thing, she's still got her tray of full mugs as she deftly navigates through this battlefield, face barely cracking a sigh as she shakes her head and says, "every damn second Tuesday, I swear".'
'She's so cool,' Ahri said.
'Okay, the guy's turn. One turns and attacks Jarro for,' he rolled, '16 damage.'
Ezreal winced. 'I'm on two hp.'
'Damn you're squishy,' Ekko noted.
'Alune?'
She spoke slowly, reading from her sheet; 'I am wanting to cast Call Lightning? Can I do that?'
'That's a what save?' Yasuo said as he rolled.
Irelia pointed to the relevant line, and Alune said; 'It is a d – e – x ? Oh, Dex.'
'They fail, so roll damage.'
She did, and Zoe instantly went; 'Whoooaaa, 27.'
'You see Alice reaches out a hand to the sky, static gathering at the edge of her fingers, crackling and sparking, as beams of lightning shoot out and strike each of the brawling figures,' Yasuo hummed, 'and Jarro, make me a dex save.'
Ezreal cringed. 'Should I bother? I mean, I'm down.'
'So are all the other guys, Alice wipes them out.'
'Good job, Alune!' Lux said. 'You took them all out!'
As everyone celebrated, Ekko felt a sudden chill throughout the open air. A premonition that came too late – 'Oh shit,' he muttered, as he looked to the stairs to reveal Qiyana.
She glared, then slowly and purposefully stalked towards the gathered. Everyone froze.
Qiyana looked at the group, anger a burning flame behind her eyes. 'And may I ask what this gathering is?'
'Uhhhh,' Ezreal said, avoiding Qiyana's gaze. 'A... study session?'
'I'm a Wild Magic Sorcerer Owlin!' Zoe said.
'I cannot believe you. Why was I not informed?' She narrowed her eyes at Taliyah. 'And you invited her? She has not even been introduced in anything except throwaway lines! She is a side character!'
Taliyah shrugged. 'Not untrue.'
Everyone shuffled in their seats, Ekko and Ezreal especially. Ekko spoke up first;
'We just – I don't know, didn't think you'd enjoy it?'
Qiyana harrumphed and sat at the empty seat between Ahri and Lux. 'I will be the judge of that. I wish to play.' She looked around. 'What is it we are playing, anyway?'
'Dungeons and Dragons,' Yasuo said. 'It's a role playing game.'
'You roll dice and play!' Zoe said.
'No, wrong 'role', Zoe,' Irelia said.
'I thought that was funny, Zoe, don't worry,' Ahri said.
Ezreal spoke up. 'Yeah, there's a dragon, and a Princess - '
'Ah, excellent,' Qiyana said. 'I shall be this Princess.'
Ezreal continued; 'No, Qi, that's not how it works, you have to make your own - '
'Eh, sure,' Yasuo said. He ruffled through some papers and handed one to Qiyana. 'Here, the Princess's character sheet.'
Irelia was stunned. 'You're just going to allow that?!'
He shrugged. 'If we're going to let the goblin do whatever she wants, I'm going to rule that Qiyana can play an NPC.'
'But that's against the rules!'
Again, Yasuo shrugged. 'Don't care, it's my session. It's no foul anyway, the character's harmless.'
'The amount of times I've heard that one,' Ahri grumbled,
'We shall see about that,' Qiyana said, sitting back in her chair. She waited, then raised a hand. 'Now what? When does the game begin?'
'Not yet, we haven't found the Princess yet,' Lux said. 'So wait your turn.'
Qiyana scoffed. 'You go behind my back and then tell me to wait further? No, I shan't. Battle Club President? Allow me to play immediately.'
'Oi, Qiyana - ' Ekko said.
'Oooh, I like the ring to that,' Yasuo said, then smiled. 'Sure, Qiyana, what does the Princess look like?'
She furrowed her brows. 'How should I know?'
'Well, make something up,' Yasuo said.
Qiyana rolled her eyes. 'She is like me, of course.'
'A bitch?' Ezreal said.
'Better,' Qiyana said.
'A hot bitch?' Taliyah said.
'Nice,' Ekko said.
'Describe her, please,' Yasuo said.
'What? She is like me, so perfect and pure. Strong.'
'Great, good enough,' Yasuo said, 'you see this impossibly beautiful lady enter through the now-shattered doors of the tavern, golden, gimlet eyes scanning the room. Qiyana, what do you do?'
Qiyana blinked. 'Excuse me?'
'It's your turn, what do you do?'
'I do not understand. Where is the board? How do I play?'
'You're playing it right now – it's a role-playing game, we play it in our collective minds.'
'I'm an Owl!'
'This is stupid,' Qiyana said with a huff. 'You all agreed to this?'
'More than we agreed to this, I'll tell you what,' Irelia grumbled.
'You can tap out and not ruin our fun for a change, if you'd like,' Lux said.
Qiyana, glaring at Lux, addressed Yasuo. 'The Redhead is in this game, yes? I walk up to her and kill her.'
Ekko's lips pursed. 'Hey, QiQi, maybe hold back on the - '
'Make an attack roll.'
Qiyana, after having Ahri lean over and quickly explain what to do, rolled a nat 20.
'Uh,' Yasuo blanked, 'Critical hit. That's... how much damage?'
'Twenty-three!' Zoe said.
'Doubled as well,' Yasuo muttered. 'Lily, I think you're dead.'
Qiyana grinned as everyone else broke into a mess of words.
'Qiiqs, not cool!' Ezreal said, overlapping with Ekko saying, 'what the fuck, man?'
Yasuo was very much at a loss. He'd planned for things to get a little weird, on account of them having Zoe at the table, but this was definitely outside his realm of planning. He balked, running lines of how he could recover the plot through his mind before Alune broke the gaggle with a commanding voice;
'It is okay, I have this spell – Revivify? I can make you alive, Lux.'
'Bless,' Lux said.
'No, that's another spell entirely,' Taliyah said.
'Nice thinking, Alune,' Ezreal said. To Qiyana, 'Don't you have someone else's evening to ruin?'
'No. Plans.'
'Alune, go ahead and describe how your spell looks to us,' Yasuo said, trying to buy some time to think.
'Okay, I am crouching down, hands laid over Lily's body, and light is gathering - '
'I will attack her, too. I can do that, yes?' Qiyana said.
'Qiyana!' Ekko growled.
'Make the roll,' Yasuo said.
'Yasuo, stop letting her ruin the game!' Ekko said.
Yasuo shrugged. 'I have to be impartial here.'
'I rolled another 20.'
'Come the fuck on, man,' Ekko groaned.
'I...' Yasuo shook his head. 'Alice, you're down, but your spell goes through. Uhh – as you fall over, a blue orb rolls out from your robes onto the ground.'
'I pick this orb up and leave this trash of an establishment,' Qiyana said.
'Wait, but - !' Alune said, shock and genuine confusion laced in her voice.
'That's it,' Ekko said. 'Prez, Qiyana? Come over here for a sec.' He grabbed Qiyana by the arm, prompting a haughty hey!, as Yasuo grunted and followed the two to the spiral staircases that led down into the lobby.
Ekko, hauling Qiyana by the arm, stopped at the edge of the spiral staircase. 'Why are you being such a bitch about this?!'
'Hmph,' Qiyana said, rubbing her now-freed arm. 'So what?'
'Here's what;' Ekko sneered. 'That girl is on the verge of a serious depression! I don't know the full details, but anyone with half a shred of what should pass as a heart could see she's going through something serious, so we set up this evening to help cheer her up, so tell me; why would you, for the love of all things above, try and ruin that?'
Qiyana rounded on Ekko. 'How is her weakness my problem? Did you think about me when you people were setting this event up?! You never invite me to join your activities!'
'Fuck, Qiyana, I wonder why!' He rounded on Yasuo. 'And Prez! Stop letting her just do this, like, I thought you were in on the whole idea?'
Yasuo shook his head. 'I can't disrespect the sanctity of the game, if Qiyana wants to kill Alice and Lily, she's just as entitled to it as you are your own actions.'
'You're so wack, man.' Ekko shook his head. 'And have a heart, Qiyana.'
'I do not enjoy being excluded, so I will do this.'
'We exclude you because you do shit like this!'
'Then are you any better than I?!'
They stared.
Time passed.
Ezreal's head popped around the corner. 'Uh, guys – you coming back?'
Yasuo broke the silence. 'Qiyana, if you're going to be acting against the group, I'm going to have to separate you guys and take your actions individually.'
'Good. You can come to me when you wish to see me win.' Qiyana stormed past them down the stairs, barely sparing a glance. Ekko, on the other hand, glared daggers into her back.
'Come on, Ponytail. Let's dungeon that bitch's dragon.'
Ezreal grinned and followed. 'See, it's catching on.'
'Nah, I doubt it,' Yasuo said.
Ekko re-entered the room to the everyone's stares.
'Qiyana has decided, as usual, to be a total fucking bitch. Our priority is now to get to her, and kill her. All in favour?'
'Aye aye!' Zoe yelled with great enthusiasm.
'Why are you even friends with her?' Irelia muttered.
'I don't know, but the point is this; we're going to win this stupid game, and we're going to beat her.'
Alune looked down. 'It is okay. I am just wanting to go to bed.'
'No, Alune! Stay where you are, and we'll kick this bitch's ass, okay?' Lux said, anger slipping into her voice.
'QiQi's ass is gunna so kicked!' Zoe chimed.
'Huzzah!' Ezreal said.
'Zoe, language,' Irelia hissed.
Yasuo watched everyone sit down, noting a weak smile on Alune's lips.
He turned and went to hear about Qiyana's next move.
Qiyana was seated downstairs, at one of the overwhelmingly fluffy sofas that clustered about the lobby. She had arranged them regally, leaning back into a throne of pillows as if it were her birthright. Yasuo cleared his throat.
'So, what's your move?'
Qiyana laughed, a low and rumbling sound. She slowly turned to Yasuo. 'You said that this game, I can do anything, yes?'
'Technically, sure.'
'And you mentioned there was a Dragon?'
'We did.'
'And I am in possession of an item of dubious magical purpose?'
'You are.'
'I wish to pay this Dragon a visit.'
Yasuo frowned. 'I don't like where this is going.'
Qiyana grinned.
When Yasuo returned to the main table, he found them, in a loose sense of the word, strategising.
Irelia was saying, 'No, we have to prepare for this, we should get some supplies - '
'Fuck the supplies, we should follow her directly and kill the bitch,' Ekko said.
'Ekko, mindful of Zoe, please?'
'Players,' Yasuo said, sitting. 'The Princess has just taken off with your only means to defeat the evil dragon, Alexandrandata. What do you do?'
'What kind of a name is that?' Ezreal said.
'Is this like, normal for you guys?' Taliyah interjected. 'The whole, mini-story thing? You guys just constantly have these side adventures?'
'No', said Ekko and Ezreal, while Irelia and Zoe said 'Yes'. Lux wiggled her hand sideways in a non-committal 'eh'.
'Cool,' Taliyah chuckled, turning to Yasuo. 'Yas, if you don't mind, could we bring my character in as well? I want in on this mess.'
'Yeah, fair enough,' he said, setting back down. 'You'll be in the next scene. So, what's your move, everyone?'
'I still say we get some supplies,' Irelia said.
'Fine, can we do that quickly, though?' Ekko said.
'What do you want to stock up on?' Yasuo said.
'Potions and the like, some weapons and what have you.'
'Okay, general store, you walk in, it's this small, square bodega with it's walls lined with products, a shelf partitioning the middle of the room. There's two people in here, one behind the counter, a bored-looking elf, and someone else, presumedly a customer. What do you do?'
'Can I talk to the shop-keep?' Irelia asked.
'Hurry it up,' Ekko said. 'We have a bitch to catch.'
'Right, that's it, I'm putting a ban on non-PG language,' Irelia said, eyes narrowing around the table. 'How many times do I have to tell you to not say that kind of thing in front of Zoe? She's going to pick it up, you know, and then it's going to be my fault for not being stricter with you people.'
'"You people"?' Ekko said.
'I'm not a child, Ire,' Zoe grumbled.
A chorus erupted, Ekko saying 'Ehhhh,' Ezreal with a 'Well I mean...' Lux just nodding and saying 'You definitely are,' Ahri blowing her a kiss and a 'But we love you.'
Taliyah looked around. 'Seriously, you guys are weird.'
'Regardless of the applicability of Zoe's labels,' Yasuo said, clapping his hands together, 'you're in the shop. Cashier raises a lazy hand and asks "what'll it be? We got potions and potions".'
'I'd'a recommend these'ere potions, miss,' Taliyah said, who flashed Yasuo a raised eyebrow, who nodded in return.
'Tali, would you describe your character?'
'Gladly,' she smiled, rubbing her hands together and clearing her throat. 'I am... the raging landslide. A large, hulking man with muscles for days, wearing a skin-tight, white shirt that contrasts with the dark tones of his skin, the fibres screaming in agony as the rippling bulges of my pecs threaten to explode.' Taliyah calmed down a little, then offered a small smile. 'Name's Rock. I'm jacked.'
Everyone, save Yasuo, stared at her. Taliyah blinked around, confused. 'All good?'
'I can't say that was what I was expecting,' Ezreal said.
'It was very... vivid,' Lux added.
'You've got a real talent for words, actually,' Irelia said, visibly impressed.
Ahri quietly chuckled. 'I'm all for it.'
'Right on,' Taliyah chuckled, turning back to Irelia, her voice dropping a couple octaves. 'So, as I wuz sayin, miss, this brand is the good stuff. Rock solid, if you will.'
As Ekko groaned in the background, Irelia shifted in her seat. 'Ummm – okay. Thanks.'
'Ain't nothin to trouble, missy. Can I ask, you's all an adventurin' party, wuz it?'
'Yeah,' Irelia said.
Ahri nudged the dark-haired girl. 'You don't have to be embarrassed, we're not going to judge. You can have a little fun with it, Taliyah here clearly is.' She raised an eyebrow at the brown-skinned girl. 'Who seems to be a very different person than what I can remember from club.'
Taliyah laughed nervously, eye glancing briefly at Yasuo, who offered a supportive smile. Taliyah smiled back, then shrugged. 'I like role-playing, it's fun, plus – I can be literally anyone I want. How could you not want to mess around with that?'
'Well said, Tali,' Yasuo said. 'Now, the Potions you can buy are all functionally the same, I will say, but you can specify which one you want, for flavour, if you'd like.'
'Oh my god,' Ekko groaned. 'Can we go?!'
'Chill, dude,' Ezreal said, patting his shoulder. 'Let the b-plots develop.'
'What the hell does that even mean, man?'
'Bees?' Zoe said.
'I'll take three of the potion Taliyah recommended.'
'Rock's tha name,' Taliyah said.
Irelia grimaced. 'That... Rock... recommended.'
'Thank you for your business,' Yasuo said, cadence lazy to match his improvised idea of a bored cashier.
'Great, so can we go now?' Ekko said.
'You all leave the store, now what do you do?'
'We. FOLLOW. Her!' Ekko said.
'Chill, dude,' Ezreal said.
'Yasuo, do we have any clues as to which way she went?' Lux asked.
'There's two primary ways out of town, a road to the north which leads to a dense forest, and the way you guys came, which leads back to the temple. Since you have Calliope,' he gestured to Ahri, 'with you, you know that the dragon's lair is beyond the forest, in a lair deep within the mountain range known as the "Widow's Peaks".'
Taliyah snorted, Ahri raising an eyebrow. Taliyah said; 'We went to a place with the same name in our campaign a couple of weeks ago. Ignore me, sorry.'
'We go through the forest,' Irelia said. 'Any objections?'
Everyone muttered their approvals.
'The forest is dense, layers of interwoven branches and ferns obscuring the sunlight from reaching the dark and damp forest floor, squishing and crunching under you as you step over discarded sticks and leaves. You're all following the main road, which is less of a properly defined path as it is a particularly weathered direction, worn by hundreds and hundreds of weary traveller's boots pounding it into the earth. What are you doing?'
'Fire - '
'No.'
Zoe pouted.
'Do we know exactly where we're going?' Lux asked.
'You have a general idea, but with how similar the surroundings are, you do run the risk of getting lost.'
'Can I roll for something?' Ezreal asked.
'Sure, give me perception.' He thought, then added, 'everyone else can, too.'
The checks came back.
'For anyone higher than a 12, you all notice that you've been down this bit of path before. Did anyone get a 16 or higher?'
Zoe raised a hand.
'Ganymede notices a particularly powerful gust of wind coming from a direction to the left, but it's off the beaten path. What do you do?'
'Should we follow?' Ezreal said.
'I think we should follow,' Ekko said.
'Careful round these parts,' Taliyah said. 'Ah've 'eard people gone missin' to some magic or other nonsense. Shuld be careful.'
'What accent are you even doing?' Ezreal said.
Taliyah shrugged. 'A fun one.'
'Yeah, that's fair.'
'I wanna go, I wanna go,' Zoe said.
'So, we go,' Irelia said. 'Where does this lead? Do we, uh, have to roll or do anything?'
'You all wander around for what feels like an eternity, the overgrown walls of trees and foliage inching closer second by second. Soon, you notice a slight shift in the colours, going from a deep green to a sickly, paling neon. I'm going to need you all to make me Con saves.'
'What does this mean?' Alune said, pulling her dice out.
'Uh, you roll a d20 with this modifier,' Lux said, showing Alune the applicable stat.
They rolled.
'Everyone above 14 here?'
Taliyah and Ahri raised their hands.
'Rock and Calliope, you two notice a slight prickle on your skin, as everyone around you collapses over, their faces pale with a sudden onset of sickness.'
'What? Dude, that's not fair,' Ezreal said.
'Jarro starts hurling,' Yasuo added. 'You can take three poison damage.'
Ezreal grumbled, but noted the damage.
'Wuzz'ron with all you lot?' Taliyah said, glancing around the table. 'There's still plenty'o daylight!'
'We're poisoned, obviously,' Irelia said.
'Rock isn't particularly good at reading the room,' Taliyah said. 'Far as he's concerned, you're all just taking a break. He goes up next to where Aster's leaning over and says; "You's wantin a nap? Hah! I'll join yuz". And he lays down next to you.'
Irelia stared blankly at her. 'I think I'm dying.'
'Well, don't?'
'Oh no, my dear travelling companions seem to have been affected by a nefarious and totally fair spell,' Ahri said. 'I'm going to have to cast dispel curse to save them!'
'Yes, noted, Ahri,' Yasuo said. 'You can describe it if you'd like.'
'I pull out my flute, which is a beautifully carved oak piece given to me my late brother, light rest his soul, and play a soothing melody that ripples out in magically-touched waves of colour.'
'Thank god she has a woodwind,' Irelia muttered.
'Tails's singing can't be thaaaaaaaaat bad,' Zoe said.
Irelia shuddered.
'Cool, as this happens, and as the magic flows into your bodies – which you all immediately start to feel better – you hear an old, high-pitched voice, crawling from the inside of your head but also from everywhere at once. It says; "trespassers?!'
'Can I heal the damage?' Ezreal asked.
'No. What do you all do?'
'Does Rock hear this, too?' Taliyah asked.
'You and Calliope both do, yes.'
'I want to fly into the air and fireball the voice!' Zoe said.
'You're in a forest, Zoe.'
'Yep!'
'With wood.'
'Mhm!'
'A lot of wood.'
'So, so? Can I?'
'… I'm going to assume you're doing this on purpose and ignore you. Everyone else?'
Ezreal went white. 'Jarro looks at his gauntlet with horror. "D-dad?!", he says.'
'I'll just cast detect magic to find out which direction the voice is coming from. Can I do that?' Lux said.
'You feel that the voice is coming from the north-most direction.'
'We will follow, yes?' Alune said.
'Are you two still lying on the floor?' Ahri asked Taliyah.
'Nah, Rock got up, he respects people's legal rights to owned land, and doesn't wanna be seen as disrespecting someone's property.'
'I guess I'm also up.'
'As you all approach the source of the voice, guided by Lily, you notice that the trees and leaves are genuinely encroaching on you. The wind on your backs gets stronger.'
'Can we hurry it up?!' Ekko said.
'Get behind me!' Taliyah said, standing up dramatically. She winked at Irelia. 'Rock'll protect the puny pebbles!'
Ezreal and Ekko snorted, though Irelia and Lux rolled their eyes.
'You hurry behind this massive, hulking mass of man - '
'Rock solid mass of man,' Taliyah said.
'It's not even clever,' Lux muttered.
' - and come eventually to a clearing, too perfectly circular in nature to be natural, the dirt and moss ground fading into perfectly cut blades of beautifully swaying grass. The air here seems to be clearer, fuller.'
'Who's there?!' Ezreal said.
Zoe started to speak -
'No.'
She harrumphed.
'Lily steps forward and raises a hand, casting detect magic again,' Lux said. 'She also says, "show yourself!"'
'Rock is generally confused. He turns to Aster and hooks a thumb at the rest of the party and goes "getta'load a these guys, ah?"'
Irelia shuffled in her seat. 'I, uh, I guess?'
'I'm going to cast haste on Rock, Jarro, and Lily,' Ahri said.
'As you do, a gust of wind storms down into the clearing, forming itself into a fading cyclone, the forces rippling around you and the grass. It passes, revealing a beautiful, raven-haired woman in black robes and an equally dark witchcap. She waves a hand dramatically, and old and twisting darkwood staff twirling with grace. She grins at you all. "And who disturbs my domain?!"'
'I shoot her,' Ekko said.
Yasuo blinked. 'Uhhhh – '
'Wait, Ekko, calm down, we should talk to her first,' Lux said. 'We are travellers – seeking information on someone we lost.'
'She narrows her eyes and says; "Travellers, you say? How do I know you don't wish to harm me?"'
Alune shook her head. 'We are coming here in peace.'
'Your friend over there just raised his gun at me,' Yasuo said.
Lux glared at Ekko, who shrugged. 'Sorry.'
'We mean no harm,' Alune reiterated.
Yasuo glared around the table before nodding. 'Very well, I will give you a chance. I am the witch, Elayne! This is my forest, and it only appears to those in need of saving from an unavoidable danger." She narrows at you, scanning. "I can help you, but you must help me first".'
'Oooh, side quests,' Ahri said.
'We do not have time for this,' Ekko said. 'Can you help us kill Qiyana or not?'
'I can help you with killing a dragon.'
'Right, I forgot about that plotline,' Ezreal said.
'Dragons are fun, I wanna fight a dragon,' Taliyah said.
'We've already fought a real one, though,' Ekko said. 'Let's just go.'
Taliyah reeled back, 'wait, what? What do you mean?'
'Technically, it was a wyvern,' Ezreal said.
'You what?!'
'I guess you're right,' Irelia said. 'It's not really our primary goal here.'
'Alune and I weren't there, though I suppose we did hear about it second hand,' Lux said. 'Well, I mean, sure, we can go. Alune?'
'Ez was all like; BAAAAAAAAM, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH – wha-pow!,' Zoe said, then giggled. 'Was super cool. Dragon was kinda lame, though.'
'Wyvern.'
'Shut up, Ponytail.'
Yasuo blinked. 'Wait, wait! Uh, Ah! But if it is not a dragon you wish to defeat, I can offer help in sundering foes of any kind!'
'Thought you said it was for Dragons,' Ahri said, smirking.
'I'm looking to expand my range of services,' Yasuo said. 'Hear me out?'
Taliyah shook her head. 'I'm sorry, I'm still not fully on the same page as you all. When did you people have a chance to kill a dragon?! Aren't you all, like, first years?'
'"You people"?' Ekko said.
'Yes! I can offer you invaluable assistance in tracking down this... "Qiyana" you seek.'
'We know where she's going, though, it's towards the Dragon, which we know is in the mountains,' Irelia said. 'Maybe we should just hurry it up and go.'
'Yeah, alright,' Ezreal said. He waved a two-fingered salute to Yasuo. 'Later, Elayne.'
Yasuo groaned. 'Okay, here's the deal. If you help me with my troubles, I will transport you to where you need to go.'
'I think this is a good idea,' Alune said. 'It can save us time.'
Ezreal nodded. 'Jarro agrees with Alice's assessment.'
She smiled and averted her gaze.
Everyone groaned.
'Fine, what do you want?' Ekko said.
'Chill, dude, you gotta be nicer to these NPCs,' Taliyah said. 'Rock says; "Righ', who'dya need hittin?" He like, punches a fist into his palm and strikes a pose.'
'She's a witch, right?' Ahri said. 'It's probably some weird riddle or something.'
'Oh, that would be bad,' Taliyah said. 'Rock's as thick as a boulder.'
Lux groaned.
'To gain my help, you must... answer my puzzle!'
Everyone else joined in on Lux's groan.
'Can we not?'
'Come, this way, friends!' Yasuo said. He made a sweeping gesture, though in reality, no one moved. But, the thought helped. 'Okay, so she leads you through this thicket of trees and brush, until eventually you come to an alcove that dents into the ground, leading into the mouth of what seems to be a cave. The issue is that there's a giant boulder blocking the entrance, runes engraved all around the rims. Elayne turns to you all and says, "Here lies my problem, young travellers – I cannot move this myself! My years of research has lead me to this place, and the final piece of the puzzle lies deep within these ruins". What do you do?'
'Jarro walks up to the stone. Is it like, a round boulder? Like in those adventure movies?'
Yasuo shrugged. 'Sure. Indy stuff.'
'Rock's eyes well up, he turns to Aster and says; "Looks jus like me mum", then wipes a tear from his eye.'
'You, uh – your mother is a giant rock?' Irelia said.
'I love her so much,' Taliyah said.
Yasuo said; 'Elyane walks up to the door and runs a trained hand over the inscriptions. She turns to you, "now, does anyone speak Elvish?'
'I do,' Lux said.
'Well, this'll be painless,' Irelia mumbled.
'The inscription reads; "Speak friend and enter".'
'Oh, I've seen this in a movie once - ' Ezreal said.
'I'm going to cast Knock at the second level, and open the door with some extremely powerful magic,' Lux said.
'No, it's really simple, Lux,' Ezreal tried to say.
'Nothing happens,' Yasuo said.
Lux furrowed her brows. 'I do it again.'
'The boulder remains as it was.'
Lux blinked. 'Well, I'm out. Ideas?'
'I can try Druidcraft,' Alune said.
'Guys, really, just say - '
'Rock reels back and punches it,' Taliyah said. 'Really hard.'
'You take four bludgeoning damage.'
'I'm raging.'
'Two, then.'
'Arrrgh!' Taliyah said. 'They got me! Remember me, new friends!'
'Did you just punch your mother?' Ahri raised an amused eyebrow.
Zoe stood. 'I'm going to fireball it.'
Everyone looked at her. Then, they looked to Yasuo.
He drew in a long, arduous breath. 'You're still in a mostly forested area, Zoe.'
'I. Want. To. Fireball.'
Alune reached over, past Lux, who leaned back, and patted Zoe's shoulder. 'The time is not now, but it will come.'
Zoe pouted. 'Will it be soon?'
'Maybe?'
'Fine.'
'Maybe it's a trick question,' Irelia said. 'We need to sit and brainstorm.'
'Can we camp? I want my spell slots back.'
'Good idea,' Ahri said. 'Me too.'
'GUYS!' Ezreal said. 'Lux, just, like, speak Elvish. It's literally in a movie.'
'I feel like you're messing with me, Ez.'
'Let's listen to what he is going to say,' Alune said, then smiled at Ezreal. 'What is the idea?'
'Say the word 'friend' in Elvish, it's literally so simple,' Ezreal said, looking to Yasuo with narrowed eyes. 'This is the laziest puzzle you could've used. You didn't even change it from the film, man.'
Yasuo shrugged. 'And yet, you spent a solid five minutes on it.'
Ezreal stared, the light behind his eyes vanishing rapidly.
'In my defence, I figured more of you had seen it.'
'Lily's going to try what Jarro suggested and walk up to the boulder, and say 'friend'.'
'The runes along the boulder's side light up a brilliant blue, and you feel the ground below you shake – rumbling, rumbling, rumbling – before the stone crumbles into itself, revealing a set of stairs that descend into darkness.'
'Bro,' Ezreal said. 'That was so stupid.'
'Whatever, we got through it,' Ekko said.
'Can we go in?' Ahri said.
'Rock is, like, collapsing over the rubble, tears in his eyes. "M-mum?! No, I'm so sorry -" '
Irelia shuffled in her seat. 'Uh, Aster puts a hand on Rock's shoulder and offers condolences.'
'Rock grabs the hand and mutters, "thank you, kind lady".'
'Elayne goes first, and inside, down a long and winding set of old and musty stairs, is a small cave, dark stones hanging off the top, glow of luminescent mushrooms bouncing down and off the smooth rock, highlighting a podium in the centre of the room, an old, musty book sitting atop it. Elayne walks up to it, and laughs victoriously. She says; "Finally! I have obtained the book, thank you all for your help".'
'How did she not manage to get past that boulder before,' Ezreal mumbled.
'In her defence,' Ahri said. 'I don't think they have films in this world.'
'And even if they did, who knows, maybe she wouldn't have seen it,' Ekko said.
'You're all uncultured, I swear,' Ezreal grumbled.
Ekko raised a single eyebrow, glancing Ezreal up and down. 'You? Culture? Uh-huh.'
'Elayne raises the book and flips through the pages before turning to you all. She says; "As promised, friends, I will provide you aide in your quest. Before I do, I would like to offer a shred of my power as compensation for passing this trial". She turns to Alice, and hands her a long, thin sickle, glowing silver as if touched by the moon. "Here, use this well". You can go ahead and add Moon Sickle to your inventory, Alune.'
Ahri leaned over and showed her how to do it.
'And for the rest of you, gather around! I'll initiate the teleportation spell, and you'll arrive at your foe!'
'Great, finally,' Ekko said.
'Rock is, like, still clutching at Aster's hand. He's distraught.'
'I, uh... there, there?' Irelia said.
Taliyah nodded. Ahri snorted.
'You're all engulfed in a magic swirling tornado of rippling magicks, your existence winking out into an abyss of darkness,' Yasuo said. He rose, stretching his back and hearing a crack. 'Right, break time. I'll go check on Qiyana, you guys can go for a piss, or whatever.'
'Yasuo, language.'
He grunted as he made his way towards his destiny.
While the rest of the players had been busy arguing over the acceptable usage of explicatives, Qiyana had been planning. She wasn't used to losing, and, despite not really knowing what the conditions for victory were, she planned on winning this game. Fully, and completely.
She'd never been against cheating – as she always said, cheating was only another way for one to prove their worth. If the rules were insufficient in setting up adequate parameters to prevent abuse, that was, actually, not her problem.
So, to her phone she'd went. And in the vast treasure trove of readily available online information, she'd found it. The answers.
Victory.
The Battle Club President eventually reappeared in the lounge, stupid smile on his face.
'So, what's your move?'
Qiyana laughed. 'I wonder.' She leaned back into her seat, smile growing and spreading into something more. Something... evil. 'Battle Club President, are you familiar with the Widow's Peaks mountains?'
Yasuo narrowed his eyes. 'I might be.'
'And are you aware of the secret room at the bottom of the fourth floor of the lair of optional side boss, the Hydrograngledragon?'
'Yeah, okay, you read the pdf, 'grats,' Yasuo huffed. He gestured, 'so? Point?'
Qiyana grinned, leaning back and reclining within her throne of mismatched pillows. 'I will have ultimate power. And I will win.'
Yasuo raised an eyebrow. 'You don't really "win", not with the way you're playing, but sure. What's your plan?'
And so she explained, and so she did.
Yasuo slowly stepped towards the table. He scanned the looks of confusion, horror, and revenge set atop his player's faces, all directed at the woman behind him. He cleared his throat.
'I'm bringing Qiyana back to the table. Be civilised.'
'Fireball, fireball!'
'Don't,' Yasuo said, sitting down. Qiyana followed. 'As you all fade back into existence, you see that you've been teleported in front of a massive mountain, the winds whirling around you, the range stretching out and up and below in deathly drops. You can't see the bottom through the clouds. The spot you've all landed is a purpose-built stone clearing, imagine an airship landing zone, which leads towards a massive, stone archway, carved beautifully into the side of the mountain itself.'
Ezreal glared at Qiyana. 'You're so dead.'
'Hmph.'
'As you all approach the archway , you see a limp figure at the mouth of the mountain's entrance.
'Hah!' Ekko pointed a finger at Qiyana. 'Did you get yourself killed, after all that?'
She glared.
'As you approach, you can all make me perception checks.'
They did, and the numbers came back.
'Anyone higher than 15?'
Ezreal raised his hand.
'Jarro, you see that this body, while still extremely beautiful and curvy - '
'Red flag,' Irelia said.
'Yeah, keep it clean, Yas,' Ahri added. 'Don't be gross.'
'Fine, this body, which is mangled beyond recognition – is not the Princess.'
Alune's eyes widened. 'What? Then,' she spun to face Qiyana, who was slowly nursing a deep and terrifying grin. 'Where is - '
'You hear a low rumbling from deep within the cave.'
'Fuck, fuck, fuck,' Ekko said.
'I approach the body, quickly,' said Ahri.
Yasuo dramatically swept his hair. 'You see it's the waitress from the tavern, Naomi!'
'What?' Lux said. 'That doesn't even make any sense.'
'No!' Ahri said, standing. 'She was so cute, you wrote her into my backstory!' She glared at Yasuo. 'How. Dare. You.'
'Can I cast Dimension Door and get myself and Lily out of the way?' Ezreal asked.
'Closest person to you is Alice.'
Ezreal nodded to Alune. 'Okay, grab my hand, and we'll disappear up to 500 feet away.'
'How romantic,' Irelia mumbled, prompting a snort from Taliyah and Ahri.
'You two vanish and reappear towards the back, where you originally came to this place. As you do, this roar inches closer, closer, closer... until it explodes, the mouth of the archway shattering outwards, stones flying into the abyss of a valley below. And, in place of the darkness, is... '
Qiyana laughed, standing, smile wide, as a true villain would. 'Say it!'
'… Out bursts a massive dragon, scales of night and horns that curl all the way along a massive, stout body, demonic blue eyes, throat and mouth spilling embers of flame, and riding atop it...'
'IT'S ME,' Qiyana exclaimed. 'AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL.'
Yasuo took a deep breath. 'The Princess sits atop the dragon's head, donned in full scale armour, the orb she stole earlier, which you'll remember was a deep blue, now burns a smouldering red, black highlights lining the edgeless sides.'
Qiyana stuck a finger at Ekko, face wild with power. 'HAH! I win! ME. I control a DRAGON!'
'Not if Rock has anything to say about it!' Taliyah said, standing to match Qiyana. She raised a fist. '"No one hurts ma new friends!" And Rock charges the dragon, greatsword drawn, and slashes.'
'Rock, wait!' Irelia said, but -
Yasuo cringed, as he knew what the smile on Qiyana's face meant.
'ALEXANDRANDATA, KILL HER.'
'Oh, actually, Rock's a dude, so - '
Qiyana blinked. 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I did not realise - '
Taliyah shrugged. 'Nah, don't worry, you weren't here, you didn't know.'
'Regardless!' Qiyana raised her voice again, her hand following, a motion befitting a queen. 'STRIKE HIM DOWN WITH HELLFIRE!'
'A bit dramatic, don't you think, first-year?' Ahri said.
Ekko and Ezreal said at the same time; 'not really,' and 'you get used to it.'
'The dragon bares it's fangs, the smouldering embers of it's throat flipping alight, gushing outwards a torrent of blue flames that engulf Rock.' He lowered his head. 'Rock, you... you take 62 damage.'
'Yeah, I'm raging, so - '
'No, it's hellfire,' Yasuo said, smile rueful. 'It's not mitigated.'
Everyone fell silent, eyes turning slowly to Taliyah. She blinked. The only thing Yasuo could hear, aside from the sound of his own heartbeat, was the crackling of the dorm's fireplace, in all of it's fake, fire-y glory.
Then, Taliyah fell into her seat, clutching her heart, face contorted in pain. 'Ah've been hit! Ack! I – I'm down!'
Qiyana let out a victorious yell. 'Hah! And now, I will finish you.' She snapped her fingers, and Yasuo sighed.
'The dragon reels back, preparing another blast.'
'No!' Irelia yelled, suddenly standing. She thrust out her own arm, protecting Taliyah from Qiyana. 'I won't let you! You're going to have to get through me, first!'
Taliyah, still playing into the wounded role, stammered out between coughs, 'A... Aster?'
Irelia turned and smiled at her. 'Rest, Rock. We got this.'
Ezreal leaned over to Ekko and whispered, Yasuo barely catching; 'See, pay-off for the b-plots.'
'Shut up, Ponytail.'
Qiyana raised an eyebrow. 'So you die, together. How cute.' She snapped her fingers again.
'The dragon's hellfire releases again, washing over the two of you,' Yasuo said, then frowned. 'I'm sorry, but...'
'Not yet!' Irelia yelled, one arm protecting her face, other still in front of Taliyah. 'We stand! We fight!' She turned to Yasuo, far calmer. 'I have a feat that protects an ally and myself from an attack for a turn. We're okay on that one.'
'Ah, okay,' Yasuo said, noting it down.
'You... you protected me. I... '
'Save it for when we're out of this mess,' Irelia said, flashing her a grin.
Taliyah smiled. 'Ya got a heart, kid.'
'Fine, if this is how you wish to play it,' Qiyana said. 'I shall simply attack the rest!'
'Their turn first,' Yasuo said. 'Guys, what's your moves?'
'I'm going to cast mass healing word on the two over there,' Ahri said, hooking a finger at Irelia, then smirked. 'This angry Irelia's working for me, by the way.'
Irelia blushed, immediately shooting back into her seat.
'Jarro rushes back towards the fight, seeing his friends in danger, he channels the inner powers that posses the gauntlet he carries – whispering, softly; "here goes, Father", before loosing a blast of energy towards the beast!' He coughed. 'I'm eldritch blasting.'
'Okay, 22 to hit. Damage?'
Ezreal frowned. 'Uh, I missed. Damn.'
'Alice joins Jarro, casting druidcraft to create cover for us to hide behind, in case of dragonfire.'
'Oh, nice thinking!' Ezreal winked her a thumbs up.
She blushed.
Everyone groaned.
'I'll hurry towards Rock and Aster and shoot the thing,' Ekko said. He rolled. 'Hit, 25 damage?'
'Cool,' Yasuo noted it. 'Lily and Ganymede?'
'Can I try and talk to the Princess? We can still resolve this peacefully,' Lux began, but was boo'ed out by, well, everyone, even Qiyana joining in with her own 'no one wants that'.
Lux huffed. 'Fine, whatever. I'll shoot a lightning bolt at it.'
'Zoe?'
'CAN I FIREBALL IT NOW?!'
Yasuo smiled. 'Yes. You may.'
Zoe's face lit up, her head reeled back, her mouth about to open in a yell of joy -
'Ah, I counterspell it,' Qiyana said.
Yasuo noted it down. 'Okay, cool.'
Zoe collapsed onto the floor. 'Am... am I... not strong enough...?'
Alune patted her comically pastel hair. 'It is okay. You will get another chance.'
Zoe grumbled something.
'Okay, so my turn!' Irelia said, glaring back at Qiyana. 'I raised my sword, and cast the buff spell - '
'FREEZE, MORTALS!' Qiyana yelled.
'Wait, what?' Irelia said.
Yasuo sighed. 'Alexandrandata has all these stupid OP spells, freeze is like a time-stop on an area. You're all frozen in place and cannot move.'
'No save?' Ahri said. 'We're just stunned?'
Yasuo nodded, defeated.
'Who balanced that?!' Ezreal said.
'Blame Harmon and Co. for writing it that way, not me.'
Again, Qiyana burst into maniacal laughter. 'All this power, and it is mine, you fools!' She looked around the table, slowly. 'And you thought you could win against me? Me! I jump off of the dragon's back and walk up to where these two,' she gestured to Taliyah and Irelia, 'and stab them each in the chest.'
'Hey!'
'Yeah, no fair, Qiyana!'
'She does, and you're both down,' Yasuo frowned.
Taliyah coughed. 'I... I think this is it for me, Aster.'
A look of genuine distress flooded Irelia's features. 'No, wait, no, it can't be, wait, we can still fix this - '
Taliyah made a dramatic yelp of pain, standing and pushing her chair back. 'I can feel'it. My body, my perfectly sculpted abs... it's over.' She lowered herself onto the floor. 'My time is here.'
Irelia knelt over her. 'No.. don't go - '
Taliyah placed a hand on Irelia's cheek. 'Remember me. And live a long, good life. Bleh.'
And her hand fell limply to her side.
Everyone fell silent.
'… Wait, are you crying?' Qiyana said, incredulous.
Irelia sniffled. '… No.'
Taliyah grunted and got up, back into her seat, winking at Irelia as she did, who blinked back blankly. 'Yeah, so my death saves failed, Yas, and since I took another hit, I'm just dead. Unlucky.'
'Damn,' Yasuo said. 'Sorry bout this, Tali.'
She shrugged, reclining. 'It's cool, still fun. Do continue.'
'Enough chatter!' Qiyana said, drawing the attention back to her. 'With them dealt with, I go towards the other fools.' She scanned the room, landing on Ezreal. 'Starting with you.'
His eyes went wide. 'QiQi, look - '
'Quiet!' She practically yelled. There was genuine anger in her eyes, burning a dark green. 'You and him both, I cannot! I look you in the eye, and run my sword through you!' She rolled. '15 damage.'
'Ack!' Ezreal clutched his heart.
'Now you!' she turned to Alune, but shook her head. 'Actually, you are quite literally not worth my time. First, I turn and strike down Ekko!' Qiyana yelled, throwing her dice into the pit. She grinned, '17 damage!'
'Fuck!' Ekko yelled, checking his paper, 'I'm on 1 hp.'
'Someone, heal him!' Lux yelled, 'I'm out of spell slots!'
'Alune?' Ezreal said, voice thick with desperation.
She shook her head, ruefully. 'I am out, too.'
'Hah!' Qiyana sneered, turning to Yasuo. 'Now I wish to -'
'Hold it, Princess's turns' over. Lily?'
'Can I move?'
Yasuo shook his head. 'No, but you can make me a save to free yourself.'
She shrugged. 'It is okay. For my turn, I wish to speak. Can I do this?'
'Uh,' he checked the handbook, but couldn't find the appropriate page, so instead just nodded. 'Yeah. You can talk.'
'I wish to just look into the Princess's eyes and say; "I hope you find someone just as awful as you".'
'I cannot hear you over the sound of me winning! President Yasuo, I wish to - '
'Not your turn. Ganymede?'
'Can I move?'
'No.'
'Okay, I stick my tongue at QiQi.'
'Jarro?'
'Yeah, for real Qiyana, you've outdone yourself this time,' Ezreal said, leaning back. 'I guess I'll just spend my turn glaring at her, too. Can't move anyway.'
'Calliope?'
'I'm playing a sad song, weeping for Naomi – rest in peace, my sweet angel - and glaring at the Princess,' Ahri said. Dropping any pretence of formality, she followed up with, 'and seriously, first-year, I thought we'd moved past this kind of thing.'
'Yeah, you really found a way to ruin something you weren't even a part of,' Ekko said.
Qiyana scoffed. 'You should all be worrying about your so-called depressed friend over there, and watch in terror as I rip her heart out.'
'Nah, Alune's fine,' Irelia said. 'Don't you think?'
Alune just nodded with a small shrug. 'Tonight is making me realise I have people who want to spend time with me. It is nice.'
'Yeah, I'm more worried about you, Qiyana,' Lux said. 'I don't think this is healthy behaviour.'
'Princess, your turn.'
Qiyana grinned. 'Well, if you all wish to be so obstinate, I'll give you all a death you deserve. I walk up right next to this woman, release them all from my spell, and with a flourish of my - '
'Hold it, releasing the spell ends your turn,' Yasuo said. 'Alune?'
Everyone's eyes snapped to her, Qiyana's suddenly wide with fear.
'The orb is still in her grasp, yes? I wish to take it.'
'That's an opposed athletics check – and you have a negative score on that, if I'm not mistaken,' Yasuo said. 'You still wanna do it?'
Alune squared her face with Qiyana's. 'Yes.'
No one breathed as Yasuo placed the dice tray in the centre of the table. 'Qiyana, roll your strength check.'
She rolled. Then she grinned.
18 total.
Alune grimaced. 'I have minus 1. If I am getting an 18, do I win?'
Yasuo shook his head. 'You need a 19 total or better to beat her.'
'Fuck!' Ekko shouted, burying his face in his hands. 'It's over.'
'It's not!' Ezreal said, standing up and staring intently at Alune. 'I believe in you. You got this.'
Zoe stood, too. 'Kick her ass!'
'Zoe, seriously, language.'
Lux was next, eyes hard and hand placed upon Alune's shoulder. 'You can do it. We're all here behind you.'
'And my sword!' Irelia said.
'And my boulders!' Taliyah laughed. 'You guys are fun.'
Ahri chuckled and stood. 'Almost, Irelia. Almost.' The two of them smiled at Alune.
Finally, Ekko stood, his own eyes squared directly at Qiyana. 'You're going down.'
Qiyana's face hardened. 'Make the roll.'
Alune stood at the table, the world frozen around her. She supposed, in her heart, she should feel scared, alone, an impossible task set before her.
But she felt none of that. She felt strong. She could feel the will, and despite the void isolating her, she felt it - the power of all of her friends behind her. All of it culminating in this moment, and as she raised her hand to throw the final roll, all that determination manifested in a peaceful smile.
Or at least, Yasuo imagined that's how she felt.
The dice fell, rolling and rolling and rolling around in the tray, Alune's deep cerulean dice narrowly avoiding Qiyana's blood red, until finally -
The table exploded.
20.
'IN. YOUR. FACE,' Ekko screamed.
'I AM SO DONE, THERE IS A GOD, HOLY FUCK,' Ezreal shouted.
'LANGUAGE!'
'Right on, Alune!' Taliyah laughed.
'YOU DID IT!' Lux yelled, jumping on Alune with a tight embrace.
Zoe was using her hands to produce extremely inappropriate signs, which Irelia, for once, didn't stop. Instead, upon noticing them, Irelia mirrored and strengthened.
And amidst all the commotion, Alune and Qiyana stared at each other, as if a void had formed between them and only them. And in that void, stripped of any and everything from the outside, Alune smiled, and raised a hand towards her.
'I will be taking that,' she said.
'N – no!'
'As you take the orb from her, what do you do?'
'I drop it to the floor, and smash it.'
'Your turn's done, but you can drop it. You wanna move?'
'Move, move, it's my turn next!' Zoe said.
Alune nodded. 'I will move back.'
'Great. Zoe?'
Zoe's grin widened past the limits of any normal person's face, miss-matched eyes twinkling with unbetold delight. 'Fire. Ball.'
Ekko, Ezreal, Lux, and Taliyah all erupted into cheers.
'Roll damage!' Yasuo yelled, shooting up.
'I need everyone's d6!'
'How many?!' Ezreal said, searching for his.
'All. Of. Them.'
She received them – Ezreal's gold, Ekko's green, Lux's iridescent, Taliyah's earthy green, Irelia's basic black, Ahri's galaxy, and Alune's cerulean. Zoe shook her head at Alune's, holding her hand out.
'Wanna roll half?'
Alune smiled and took the dice. They rolled.
'42!' Zoe yelled.
'Shit!' Qiyana said, furiously scribbling at her HP total.
Everyone cheered.
'Describe the fireball, Zoe!' Yasuo said.
'It's a big, HUGE, bada-BOOM! QiQi's body is, like, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM'd, ya know? SHRA-VROOSH, TNO-VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM, PWAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFF, hissssssssss.' She sat back, self-satisfied and content, a deep exhale folding from her lungs as she bathed in the smouldering afterglow of her work. 'Yeah.'
'No! I cannot lose like this!'
'The orb shatters from the flames!' Yasuo said, sweeping a gaze around the table. This was it. He knew it was over. 'The dragon, freed from it's mental bondage, notices and snaps it's eyes to the Princess! It shoots a wave of fire, and she is engulfed by another wave of screeching flames!'
'Ahh!' Qiyana physically recoiled backwards, falling into her seat.
'NOW WHO'S DEAD, HUH?!' Ekko yelled, grin wild. 'IT'S YOU. YOU DIED.'
'IN. YOUR. FACE.' Ezreal added.
'You have saved the dragon from slavery, and he bestows upon you his treasures!' Yasuo said, with a clap and check of his watch, reading 1 in the morning. He was tired. 'Thank you all for playing, it's been a pleasure. I'm going to go pass the fuck out.'
As everyone filed out of the hall, each discussing between them feelings of satisfaction and excitement, it eventually left but two; Qiyana and Ekko. As Ekko was packing away his stuff, he glanced at Qiyana, who stared down at the table in what could only be described as deep thought.
'You played it well,' he said.
She barely lifted her head. 'Thanks.'
His stuff put away, and he sat back down. 'Look, Qiyana - '
She looked away, face hidden behind her bangs. 'Do not console me. I will not have it.'
Ekko's body softened. 'That was a lot of fun. A lot more than if you'd not joined.'
She shrugged.
'I'm sorry for not inviting you,' he said, sighing, then rolling his shoulders. 'I wasn't lying when I said I didn't think you'd enjoy it.'
Silence hung in the air for a few, long seconds, broken only by the wafting of laughter (probably Zoe) from down the halls. Eventually, Qiyana sighed.
'I apologise, too. I... am not used to having friends. I did not think I would feel so angry at not being part of something. Seeing you all laughing without me...' She grunted. 'It stung, a little.'
There was a squeal, somewhere deep in the dorms.
'You wanna run a game with me?' Ekko said.
One eye was visible now, makeup slightly running. 'Just us?'
'Nah, Ponytail too, and probably Zoe. Maybe Taliyah, she seems fun.'
'Just you and Ezreal.'
'Well, I -'
'Just us. The three of us.'
Ekko stood and slung his bag over his shoulder. 'Sure. The three of us.' He smiled. 'You have to be a good guy, though.'
She gathered her things quickly and stood, walking away. Just before she disappeared from his vision, she glanced back.
'No promises.'
And she was gone.
Ekko, feeling a slight rush of emotion to his chest, turned down the hall, where he could still hear the vestiges of his cheering session-mates as their voices floated down the halls.
Zoe, somehow, was the only one who avoided a telling off for noise the next morning.
