The word was fading.

She could still faintly see her children, her grand children and her staff near her bed, tears pooling in their eyes as they realized that it was time. Eliza wished she could tell them how loved they were and that a little part of her was probably even sad to let them go. But she couldn't gather the strength to voice her thoughts. Besides, they already knew.

Eliza took a good look at her children's face. The pain of losing their mother was evident, but she knew they all were glad for her. She knew it crushed them when time and again she said "It's been long. I can't wait to see Alexander!". They knew she has been waiting for this day since last 50 years. When she can finally go back to where she belonged. Right next to the love of her life.

Eliza signaled the person next to her that she was thirsty. As they helped her with a glass of water, drop by drop, she couldn't help but remember the cruel day when she walked in on Alexander being helped in the similar way. She remembered her heart dropping to the floor. She could have sworn that someone had knocked the life out of her with an invisible blow to the gut. She remembers struggling to breathe, as the air around her turned to ice. And then she remembers when he looked at her, a frail smile crept up on his now pale face and she finally found enough strength to drag her feet and sit beside him.

Earlier that day, they told her he had "Spasms" when they brought her downtown to William Bayard's home. The bastards lied to her! She remembers throwing her book away as she ran outside to the men her husband had sent. All this while thinking of all the people who could help Alexander with his medical condition. Half her heart was getting furious at Alex. Why did he have to work like he was running out of time. She knew he will ruin his health sitting next to those candles and writing hours after hours, forgetting to eat or take a break.

By the time she reached that door, she had sworn that once he gets better, she will not let him work himself to death. They will move and they will live the life they had always wanted. She had put on her best smile before the door opened but all she saw was her bleeding husband, as a doctor wiped the sweat away from his face while his friends held a glass of water next to his mouth.

He lifted his hands slightly and Eliza held it as tightly as she could. Tears now flowing from her eyes as she realized what was happening. Still unable to speak, she just looked at his face, her heart breaking into a million little pieces when she realized that her Alex, the one who has always had a tolerance for pain was unable to hide his misery. She could only imagine the unbearable pain he was going through because she refused to look at the bullet wound. As if it would kill her too, to see something so small take away everything she had. She knew people around her were saying something about a duel but she couldn't register a single world. Her eyes seemed to be on fire, and so was her heart.

"Eliza!" He finally called out, the action meant to comfort her but she lost it. She cried and cried burying her face into his neck. Angelica stood next to her and stroked her head as her own tears fell down on Eliza. What has God done to her! Did she ever deserve this pain? What sin could she have possibly committed to witness this scene that would put even her worst nightmares to shame. She knew what she had to do.

Eliza left Alexander's hand and ran out of the room. She dragged Gouverneur Morris, Alexander's friend, inside. Surely, he would understand what she was trying to say. She asked if he would look after her children so she could end her life too. She wanted to go with her husband. There was no way she lives in a world where he is not by her side. But Morris, the life of all parties, the man who couldn't keep quiet for a moment wasn't able to form a single sentence. Dumbfounded, he kept looking at her, holding her hand, crying but maintaining a perfect silence. He wouldn't make that promise even as she wailed and begged. He didn't utter a word.

And then Eliza looked at her husband's face and realized she had made his pain a hundred times worse with her condition. Alas, her wifely duties haven't ended. She had promised to grant him his peace of mind, and she was not going to devoid him of it when he needed it the most. She knew she had to search the deepest of her soul and heart to find the courage which will probably ease his pain. And she was going to do it. He was not going away thinking that he had exposed her to the worst of the worst, no matter how true that was.

She asked for her children to be there, and someone ran right away to bring them. She then sat back next to him, taking up the damp cloth and wiping the sweat away from his face. It seemed to give him some comfort so she continued to do it. He kept talking, saying words which Eliza wished she heard. But she couldn't for the life of her remember what he said in his final moments. Instead, her mind went back to the last five days. He had spent the last week abandoning all his work, snuggling next to her all day on 8th and then spending all evening with his children lying under a tree as the starts filled the sky. He knew what he was going to do. And even after all the pain, Eliza trusted him. If this was his decision, in his last moments Eliza wasn't going to tell him that it was the worst kind of thing he could possibly do to her.

The children arrived in sometime, bawling as they saw their father struggling to keep his eyes open. But Eliza stood up and made all of them stand right next to his bed, a place where he could easily see his kids, his legacies. Alexander now smiled, looking at all his children with pride in his eyes. Somebody handed Phillip Jr. to her, their two-year-old son. She held him right next to his face as Alex kissed his youngest child, trying to convey all his fatherly love in that one action which he otherwise would have had a lifetime to do. And then she sent them away from that room. They didn't deserve to see this.

So that entire night, she sat next to him, trying to comfort him as she prayed for a miracle. By next morning, she could swear that she heard the entire town wailing, as people inside the house also burst into random bouts of tears. Angelica was there, the whole time, hiding her own pain as she comforted her sister while possibly losing the love of her own life.

When in her heart she knew it was absolutely the time, Eliza ran her hands softly through Alexander's hair and kissed his forehead. "I'll be fine…" she lied as he closed his eyes, never to open them again.

Just like that, the man who wrote her letters that would put even the most ardent of poets to shame, the man who promised and then gave her the world, the man without whom she would not have survived Phillip's and Peggy's death, was gone…

She took a scissor and cut a small lock of his hair as she left the house. They were here to take him away and she would rather be buried alive than see her Alexander in a casket. She left and refused to go to the funeral. She had already said her goodbyes and she didn't need the whole world next to her, trying to comfort her when they couldn't even fathom the pain she was feeling.

She reached home, Angelica still by her side as she resigned to her bedroom. She broke down again at the floor, next to her bed when she realized Alexander is never coming back to sleep in here again. Between those soul crushing cries, someone handed angelica a piece of paper and she silently kept it next to her. Eliza saw the beautiful penmanship on the front, unmistakably Alex's, as the grave realization settled that this was the last letter he will ever write to her. With blurry eyes, she began to read as sound of people crying in the street drowned her own sobs.

"This letter, my very dear Eliza, will not be delivered to you, unless I shall first have terminated my earthly career; to begin, as I humbly hope from redeeming grace and divine mercy, a happy immortality.

"If it had been possible for me to have avoided the interview, my love for you and my precious children would have been alone a decisive motive. But it was not possible, without sacrifices which would have rendered me unworthy of your esteem. I need not tell you of the pangs I feel, from the idea of quitting you and exposing you to the anguish which I know you would feel. Nor could I dwell on the topic lest it should unman me.

"The consolations of Religion, my beloved, can alone support you; and these you have a right to enjoy. Fly to the bosom of your God and be comforted. With my last idea; I shall cherish the sweet hope of meeting you in a better world.

"Adieu best of wives and best of Women. Embrace all my darling Children for me.

Ever yours

A H

Ever Hers…

Ever Hers…

And yet gone…


"Mother!" a voice brought Eliza back to present as she looked at her daughter who had taken her hands in hers as she stroked her head.

"We'll be fine…" She said through tears and Eliza smiles. She has also told that lie to someone years ago. But she also knows what strong children she had raised. They had Hers and Alex's blood. They will be fine.

"I Know!" Eliza says in a week voice. "Know that I'm leaving with peace in my heart. It has been very long. I'm going to see Alexander!"

The world was fading.

And then it went black.


Eliza looked at the Alexander's study table, the corner stained with blue ink which drove her insane. She had tried time and again to get that spot out but the stubborn thing just won't go away. Alexander used to laugh, asking her to quit worrying about it as he would stain the whole desk in ink again anyway. Eliza turned to grab a piece of cloth to clean it off for good when she saw her reflection.

She was clad in the same blue dress she wore when she had said goodbyes to her family and left with Alexander to start a new life, her twenty-two-year-old face staring back at her from the mirror. The face wasn't weathered with pain she had endured all those years, but her cheeks flushed red like a new bride.

She looked around and realized she was in Harlem, the little place where Alex brought her right after their wedding. She stood in the first bedroom that they had built up from scratch. She took in the surroundings and saw that every lamp, every book, every corner told a story that she had long forgotten. The shelf they brought in from Albany, the books he cherished like they were made of golds and the big family portrait: Eliza in a chair holding a little Phillip, while Alexander stood behind them, Smiling.

Before she could fully realize what was happening, the door opened and he walked in…


And Eliza suddenly realized what it meant to be breathing again. The day he left her, was the day she felt someone wrapped her lungs in an iron chain which never went away and slowly just became a part of her. That chain broke today, and along with that, Eliza.

He stood in front of her, a wide smile on his face and happy tears in her eyes. He looked at her like he did all those years ago, when she had finished setting up this bedroom and literally dragged him from his office to show; in both disbelief and relief that she was finally in front of his eyes. Without taking another step, he just said "Hi…"

And she ran. She ran like the wind to the love of her life. She didn't care how long she has waited. How many miseries god has put her through if at the end of all of it, she was back in his arms. He held her with all his might as she buried her face in his chest, her own eyes now blurry with tears of happiness.

"Shhh… you're here Eliza. You came to me…" he said as he refused to let her go.

"I'm sorry…" was all she could say as he finally released her from his arms and took her face in his hands.

"What?"

"I'm sorry…" She said again.

He wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead.

"They marred your name, your legacy…" She kept crying as she spoke. "...and I couldn't do anything about it. I'm sorry I tried…" she sobbed as he pulled her back into a hug.

"Shhhh…. You've done enough!" he said in a soft voice that Eliza knew was reserved only for her, in their tenderest of moments when mighty Alexander Hamilton would let his guard down. "You've done everything just right. Rest now, my Betsey. Best of wives and best of women! "

"But your story…"

"Your story Eliza… Our Story" He cut her off. "And you have told it to everyone who mattered. History will be kinder to us because of you. You saved me while I lived, and you saved me in my death as well. It's enough. Rest now." He stroked her hair.

Oh didn't he have a way with words! Two sentences and he took away five decades of doubts if she had done enough to tell his story.

Eliza looked at the now closed door. She left Alexander as she walked up to it, unsure of what lied ahead.

"To the oblivion?" She asked , doubt dripping from her voice as she held the doorknob.

He walked up to her, held her hand up and planted a kiss on her knuckles.

"I'm right here…" He spoke.

Eliza smiled as she opened the door.

The world went black once again.


I chose to write this story because I finished reading Chernow's book and sobbed for straight half an hour after reading the description of Alexander Hamilton's very painful death. Eliza was told that he had spasms as he had requested that the news should be broken to her gradually. She did ask Morris to "Look after her children and joining her in prayers so she could die along with her husband".

She also spent her last days, wishing it to be over so she could see 'Her Hamilton.' and after reading all this, I just really wanted to believe that she got what she had desperately wanted all those years. I wish she had seen 'Her Hamilton'.