Author's note: The way they broke them up in the comics always rubbed me the wrong way, I understood the intention of demonstrating that Buffy could also be happy and single, but considering the way they had written Buffy & Spike up to that point, it didn't make much sense to me, because they were really good with /and/ for each other. I definitely don't think Buffy & Spike's breakup was made to last, so this is one of the many ways I would have seen things go for them :)
This ficlet is kinda close in spirit to the one I wrote in french a few years ago, called "L'épanouissement", even though this story was longer (and I might end up translating it).
Please note that english isn't my maternal language, I apologize if there are mistakes, feel free to let me know :)
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When Buffy came home that night, Spike was comfortably lying on her couch, after spending the evening there playing poker with Dawn and Xander, who had come with baby Joyce. The little family had left a few minutes earlier to go back to their place, leaving Spike alone to clean up –which he hadn't done yet. When he saw that the Slayer had come home, he went back on his feet and walked as casually as possible in her direction, his mind visibly preoccupied, even if he was trying to hide it.
"Hey.''
"Hey,'' he said back. "Heard you had a date tonight. How did it go?'' he asked, trying to sound cool.
Buffy looked down, feeling a little awkward, and threw her keys on the kitchen's counter. "Nicely… I suppose,'' she said hesitant.
Spike noticed her hesitation and tried to lock eyes with her. "Hmm?''
When Buffy finally looked back at him, her face was very serious. "We kissed.''
The vampire felt like he had just been punched in the stomach but tried to cover his emotion. He knew it had to happen, eventually. "Oh. That scores in the positive category. I mean, good. For you —him. I guess,'' he mumbled, damning himself for even asking in the first place.
The Slayer's eyes went soft, she knew perfectly how he felt. "Spike…''
"No, it's okay Buffy, I mean, when we made the decision to break up, we may have still loved each other but we knew we might eventually not get back together.''
"Spike…''
"It's a good thing Buffy, I mean it, you don't owe me anything'' he said, lost in his own thoughts.
She stepped closer to him. "Spike. I'm gonna do something, but please don't freak out, okay?''
Before he could even think about it, Buffy tenderly took his face between her hands and brushed her lips against his, before giving him a deep kiss that lasted a moment. Spike could feel the taste of the other man she'd been seeing earlier, but was quickly lost in their embrace. He put his arms around her waist, tightening his grip.
Eyes still closed, she rested her forehead against his. "You know what happened?'' she sighed.
She looked into his eyes. "I thought I liked the guy. I mean, on the paper, yeah, he was nice and everything. He seemed to be the perfect match, perfect boyfriend. But when he complimented my dress, when he asked me for a dance, or when he kissed me? I felt nothing.'' She shrugged. "All I could think about was the fact that he wasn't you. And I realized… how stupid all of this is. Us being apart, I mean.'' She rested her hands against his chest. "We've been broken up for a year and I'm still madly in love with you. I feel so dumb that it took me dating another man to actually face it. I miss you.''
Spike swallowed hard and took a second to process what she was trying to tell him. The emotion made his throat tighter. If he had been alive, his heart would have been beating so fast.
"I'm –I'm sorry if I've been presumptuous. I don't know where you stand regarding our relationship since we broke up.'' She looked more insecure now, almost trying to escape from his arms. "But if you want it too, I wanted to let you know that you still have me. You always had me,'' she emphasized.
Spike reinforced his grip around her waist, getting her closer to him. He took the initiative of their next kiss, which was a little more passionate, before responding to her speech. "The feeling is more than mutual, luv. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't actually chill about you going on a date."
She laughed. "I'd never have guessed."
"I love you and I missed you so much,'' he said while caressing her hair like if she was the most precious thing in the world.
A smile of relief appeared on the slayer's lips. She kissed him lightly. "Fresh start, then?''
He smiled in return. "Fresh start.''
