My fingers have blisters all over them, which is proving to be quite bothersome as I stab a hole into the tree. Still, the repetitiveness of the movement calms me, the same way swimming does.

I remember what Mags used to always tell me. When life got too hectic and devastating to bear and I found myself on her back porch again.

"One step at a time, Finn." She'd say as she stroked my hair "It'll be alright."

Even the thought of my mentor makes me want to collapse to the ground and weep. I can't bear it. The idea that Mags' death is my fault, because I should have never let her go, because I should have been strong enough to keep her with me.

I'm never strong enough.

Mags would tell me not to blame myself, that we knew what we were signing up for. That we both knew she wouldn't make it the second that the Quell was announced. Because of course the Capitol would reap me and Annie together for dramatic flair—Snow had somehow figured out we were together—and Mags wouldn't let her almost son and almost daughter go into the Games together. She knew it would destroy us.

But then Haymitch and Plutarch told us about their plan. To get everyone they could out of the Quell and into 13. And then I had hope. That me and Mags, Johanna and the others, we could all keep Katniss, Peeta, and ourselves alive long enough to be rescued.

But of course, hope isn't Capitol proof. The Games have a way of destroying everything.

And now Mags is gone.

Because I failed.

I think of the conversation I overheard between Katniss and Johanna.

"She was half his family."

She was. Annie and Mags. My family. My lifeline. The only people I had left after everyone else I ever loved was taken away from me.

My father. He taught me how to fish and use a spear. He taught me the importance of patient and hard work. My role model, who always told me just how special I was. He was lost to sea when I was nine. My mom was devastated. And I saw the way Brooke's clothes began to sag on her after loosing our main provider. I went to the Academy after that. Where I lost my youth, learning to twist weapons and words to my advantage. Where I met Kai, my best friend, who introduced me to the Cresta family.

Brooke, my little sister. Three years younger than me. Who I made flower crowns with and carried around on my shoulders. While my father's death wasn't my fault, Brooke's was. Six months after my Games, a few weeks after my Tour, me and my two best friends—the only people I could bear speak to except for my family—found Brooke nearly dead in the backyard. Accidental fish poisoning they said. She reached her hand out to me and all I could do was stare at my little sister's eyes as they closed. Kai had gripped my shoulder while Annie screamed in horror. They would never know, not for many years, but Brooke had died because of me. Because I had refused to become a play thing for the Capitol. I didn't refuse after that.

My mother. Who taught me about love and dedication. Who sacrificed her own happiness to raise two kids all by herself. Who planted flowers for every anniversary of my father's death. Who grieved the deaths of her husband and daughter before dying herself. After Brooke died, I made her move in with the Crestas. I thought the distance would protect her. That only those near me would suffer. She cried and begged me to let her stay. That we were the only family we had left. That she couldn't loose another child. I made her leave. I shut her out. And when Snow figured out I was in love with Annie, when he decided I needed to be taught a lesson for my disobedience, she was still the one they killed.

Kai. My best friend. The boy who trained with me every day as we bonded over the loss of our fathers. Of becoming the caretakers of our mothers and little sisters. Kai, who was caring and funny, who never ditched me like my other friends did when I became too withdrawn and depressed for them to deal with. The boy who showed me what it could be like to have a brother. The boy who loved his sister so much that when Annie was Reaped to punish me for falling in love with a District girl, he volunteered to protect her. I will never forgive myself for his death. And Annie will never forget it.

And now Mags. My mentor, almost my grandmother. She mentored me through my Games and got me through the Seventieth. She put sugar cubes in my coffee and cooked my meals when I couldn't eat otherwise. She taught me how to tie knots better than any sailor and to never let the Capitol destroy my heart. We used to go on boat rides and watch the sunset. She introduced me to the rebellion and gave meaning to my life. And now she's gone. Dead because she wanted to save everyone else. Dead because I couldn't save her.

Suddenly realizing how quiet it is, I glance over to find Katniss staring contemplatively at the ground. She looks vaguely confused but also very annoyed. A typical Katniss look.

I distantly hope she isn't thinking of sinking an arrow into my heart. Again. Because that's already almost happened more than once.

Why can't she understand that we are doing everything to save her? To save her and Peeta? We are risking our lives for them.

Mags died for Peeta. Why can't she understand that?

But then I look at her face and notice how dark the circles under her eyes are. They look like bruises. Mine must too. I see the scabs on her skin and the way her hands seem to tremble.

I decide she needs a distraction. Snow's roses, we all do.

"Katniss," I call. "How about that spile?"

She seems to shake herself from a stupor, fumbling as she cuts the vine attaching the spile to her belt. She leans in to hand it over to me.

That's when I hear it.

A scream. Youthful and feminine. Full of terror and pain.

And suddenly I am fourteen and Brooke is screaming.

Screaming as I walk towards the stage, to my death.

Screaming as she wrenches herself from my mom's arms and throws herself at me, begging me not to leave.

But no, it's not Brooke.

Because Katniss goes utterly still, her face a frozen mask of horror before she is sprinting away, the spile left forgotten on the ground, screaming a name. Over and over.

"Prim! Prim!"

And all I can do is stare after her as she rips through branches and vines, running frantically in the direction of the voice.

A second later, the girl screams again, and it shakes me out of my daze.

"Katniss!" I holler, abandoning my weapons and running after her. I stumble in my haste to reach her and then I too am throwing myself into the trees, feeling the vines whip my face. "Katniss, wait!"

Still, she runs heedless of the danger she is putting herself in. My thigh aches from Enobaria's knife. And I'm scared.

The Careers. They're going to find her.

There is no mission without the Mockingjay.

"Katniss, stop!" I scream, trying to make myself heard over her screams, over the screams of that little girl. Not Brooke. But Primrose.

Katniss's little sister.

What's going on? Have they taken her? Are they torturing her? Why is she screaming like that?

The thought of the Capitol torturing a thirteen year old girl does not surprise me, but makes me feel sick nonetheless.

Suddenly, Katniss stops screaming. Then the telltale thud of something hitting the ground.

No.

I sprint as fast as I can, crashing into a clearing, where Katniss is wiping an arrow clean with moss. My heart skitters with relief.

"Katniss?"

She just looks at me with this empty, disgusted look on her face. She shakes her head. "I'm okay, I'm okay—"

And then I hear it.

The one sound I promised myself I'd never hear again.

Annie.

It's a scream of absolute terror and I think my heart actually stops beating.

They have Annie. The Capitol took her.

And then I'm gone, racing through the trees. Annie screams over and over and then I'm screaming too.

"Annie! Annie!"

I'm throwing myself into the trees, just like Katniss did moments earlier, as Annie shrieks and cries and screams.

The sound pierces my skull and I forget how to breathe.

They're hurting her. They're torturing her. They took her and it's all your fault.

She's suffering because of you.

I gasping and choking on my own breath as I finally reach her voice.

Where is she? Where did they take her?

The next scream is long and drawn out and horrible. It's how she screamed when Kai's head was sliced straight off his body. When his blood splattered into her mouth. Her screams take over my mind and I can barely see. I'm going to loose it.

The screams are coming from above me. In a tree. "ANNIE!"

Where is she? I have to find her.

I have to save her.

"Annie!" I'm screaming, the sound ripping from my throat. "Annie! Annie!"

Suddenly, her screams stop. The silence rings in my ears as something lands with a thud at my feet.

I pick it up slowly, turning the thing—a dead bird—over in my hands. And as I look at the wings and weigh the creature in my hands, it clicks.

A jabberjay.

No no no no no.

I hear Katniss sliding down a tree, the smaller branches snapping off. But all I can focus on is the dead bird in my hands and all that it means.

Annie's screams. The Capitol made her scream like that.

She's suffering. She's hurt. And there's nothing you can do.

This jabberjay is showing me Annie's screams.

Katniss is trying to talk to me, trying to explain something. But my heart is beating a million miles a minute and my mind is racing just as fast. I can't get a full breath in.

Annie. They have Annie. They took her, they're torturing her.

It takes me a second to pay attention to Katniss's words. "—It's just a jabberjay. They're playing a trick on us. It's not real. It's not your...Annie."

She doesn't know who Annie is. How much that scream just broke me.

Annie. Annie.

"No, it's not Annie," I say, feeling the words break me. "But that voice was hers." Because I will never forget the sound of her screams. "Jabberjays mimic what they hear. Where did they get those screams, Katniss?"

Katniss's face goes ashen and for a moment, I feel terrible for scaring her. But she has to know. She has to know how brutal the Capitol is. How merciless.

"Oh, Finnick," she whispers. "You don't think they..."

Took Prim. Tortured Prim.

Tortured Annie.

"Yes. I do. That's exactly what I think."

And as Katniss's eyes widen with horror, my legs threaten to give out as I imagine Annie trapped in the Capitol, strapped to machines as they draw out these terrible noises from her.

Annie's voice is screaming in my head.

"Run, Finnick! Run before they get you too!"

Annie's shrieks bounce around my skull and I can't catch my breath.

I need to get out of here.

I turn to Katniss only to find her kneeling on the ground. Her hands are shaking.

"Come on, Katniss," I say urgently. "We have to go."

But Katniss doesn't move. And then there's another scream.

A male.

Kai.

But just as I mistook Prim's screams for Brooke's, this voice does not belong to Kai. Because Katniss screams, "Gale!", and leaps up. I catch her arm before she can take off Snow knows where.

"No," I say forcefully. She has to realize. "It's not him."

I pull her downhill as the male's voice gets louder and louder. "We're getting out of here!" When Katniss struggles against my grip, I yell, "It's not him, Katniss! It's a mutt!"

I start dragging Katniss downhill and she struggles against me, fighting like a wildcat.

"Come on!"

Finally, finally, she stops fighting me and we sprint down the hill, towards our allies.

The voice of the male—Gale—is still screaming somewhere behind us and I don't want to know what the Capitol did to make him scream like that.

My heart is pounding in my chest and panic makes my vision blur.

Annie's in the Capitol.

The voice screaming may not be her but Jabberjays copy. They mimic what they hear. And somewhere, sometime, they heard Annie scream like that.

And the thought terrifies me to the core.

The Capitol is using our loved ones to torture us.

How can they make this a weapon in the Arena? How could anyone ever recover from this?

We're spritning as fast as we can and when I spot Johanna standing just at the tree line, I make no effort to stop. But something is strange. Her mouth is open and she looks like she's yelling but I can't hear anything and she hasn't even come to help us and—

The impact is so sudden that I don't even realize I've slammed into something until I'm falling. The head snaps back as I hit the jungle floor and almost immediately my nose starts gushing blood. I gasp as it flows into my mouth, choking and sputtering.

Wait.

I jump up and am proven right. Me and Katniss have run full force into an invisible wall. Johanna smacks her axe into the hard surface and Peeta swings his knife but nothing makes a dent in the wall. Beetee shakes his head sadly behind them. We're trapped. Presumably for the hour.

I'm trapped.

I was never claustrophobic as a child. In fact, I used to win every game of hide and seek with the Crestas. That is, if one can even win hide and seek. But Kai and Annie could never find me and when they finally got worried and made my mom join the search, they would find my tucked into a nook somewhere. I've always been tall but that never stopped me from cramming myself into the smallest of places. It made me feel secure. Safe.

Until my first client bound my hands with ropes to her bed when I was sixteen and I was never the same.

I think what happened after the Games messed with my head more than the Games themselves did.

I'm trapped. I'm trapped. I'm trapped.

Katniss goes right up against the wall and places her hand where Peeta's is on the opposite side. She looks as though she's hanging on to sanity by a thread. And I'm suddenly jealous. Because Annie's not here to keep me sane.

I'm not there to keep her sane.

She's in the Capitol.

And I'm trapped.

I can't breathe.

And then the birds arrive.

I don't notice at first, because I'm trying so hard to bring my mind to a place that is not this Arena. But then Annie's screams aren't just echoing inside my head. They're outside my head too.

I. Can't. Bear. it.

My life has been no stranger to pain. Thirty whip lashes to the back. A knife to the shoulder. The sting of countless muttations. Being held in a choke hold for three minutes over a river. Countless bruises and scratches from nails and eager hands. The countless horrors in Capitol beds. My sister grasping my hand as she choked to death on her own blood. Letting Mags die for the sake of this mission. The knowledge that I have lost nearly every piece of myself that I've ever loved.

I've always thought that I've learned to endure any kind of pain imaginable.

But this. Hearing Annie's voice when I can't reach her.

This might be the thing that breaks me.

The ground rushes up to meet me as I crumble, falling to the ground in a heap. I slam my hands over my ears, pushing so hard my head begins to ache.

Is this how Annie feels? Are these the kinds of screams that haunt her?

I hear the whistle of arrows between the screams and know that Katniss is trying to kill all the Jabberjays. Trying to silence the screams of those she loves most in the world. It's pointless. When the Capitol wants to make a point, there's nothing a handful of arrows can do to stop it.

I'm shaking as tears stream down my face. I force myself to think of something that isn't the Arena. That isn't this section of the dumb clock.

I try to think of home, of District 4. Water. Swimming. Sea shells. Sea glass. The sea.

I'm drowning as I pump my arms faster and faster in the sea. Water is filling my lungs. But my mom is right there, screaming as a shark circles around her. It strikes and then there is blood in the water. And I'm swimming even faster. Her body starts to sink in the water and blood is filling my mouth. The shark pauses before it swims carelessly away. It turns to look at me before it leaves. And I see it. The telltale mechanic eyes. A mutt.

The Capitol.

And suddenly, it's not just Annie's screams I hear anymore.

Dylan. Mags's son. Who trained me at the Academy for years. He taught me everything I know about tridents. Almost a father to me. I spoke to him just two weeks before the Quell reaping, hinted that he should take his family and hide. He's crying out in pain.

Meredith, the adorable eight-year-old from the community home who gives me seashells every Sunday and tells Annie that her dresses are lovely. She reminds us of Brooke. Annie must have visited her after the Reaping, to tell her what happened to me. But she is shrieking in terror.

Sirena and Martin. Some of the only mentors I'd consider myself truly friendly with. They would keep watch over my tributes whenever I had to visit a client.

But the loudest of them all is Annie. And each scream makes me gasp and shake like I'm being tortured myself. It's just one hour. But it's an hour too long. I can't take it.

My heart beats in my throat, my blood pounding in my ears.

Platinum—the eighteen year old volunteer from One—has me in a headlock. I'm gasping, choking, but I can't get a full breath in.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing it all to go away.

The screams are agonizing, splitting my head in two.

Please. Please.

I don't know how long I stay hunched in a ball but the hour must be up, because suddenly, someone's hands are on my shoulders.

I flinch away but Johanna's voice stops me. "Finnick, it's okay. The hours up. They're gone."

I don't answer, I can't. Johanna tries to carry me out of the jungle but nearly two decades of training has made me near impossible to lift. Someone else places a hand on my back—Beetee—and the two try and urge me to move.

I can't. I can't move. I can't evn think.

The screams don't stop. They play in my head. Over and over.

Johanna's grip is tight on my shoulder. "Breathe, Finnick. Breathe."

I'm fifteen and Mags has my hands in hers. "Breathe, my sweet boy. It's all going to be okay. Breathe."

But I can't. I'm drowning in terror.

Vines are twisting around my chest, squeezing my lungs.

"Annie," I gasp. "Annie. Annie."

"Finnick. Get it together." I wince as her nails dig into my flesh. Johanna's voice lowers to a hiss. "Don't let Snow see you break."

This manages to break through my thoughts, because if Snow knows how much Annie's screams are affecting me, he would have her captured without a thought. Just to break me.

But they've already captured her. I heard her scream.

"I can't. Johanna, I can't. They have Annie. They took her."

"They didn't." Now Beetee is trying to comfort me too. "It was a trick, Finnick. That's all."

I shake my head. "No. No. I heard her. She was screaming for me."

"It wasn't her, Finnick. It was a jabberjay."

"They copy!" I almost shout but my voice is hoarse from screaming and the words barely come out as a whisper. "Jabberjays copy what they hear."

Johanna huffs. "It was probably just a scream from her Games, Finnick. She's okay."

Annie. Maybe she's safe. Maybe they haven't taken her. Maybe she's in our house, watching me right now.

Or maybe she's being tortured.

Peeta is talking to Katniss, rocking her as she trembles and shakes. And for a fleeting moment, I'm jealous, because they're together while me and Annie can't be.

But no, that would mean Annie was here. Annie would never want to be in the Games. Mags volunteered so she wouldn't.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss her all the same.

"Katniss, Prim isn't dead." Peeta strokes Katniss's hair as she stares at the ground. She looks as hopeless as I feel. "How could they kill Prim? We're almost down to the final eight of us. And what happens then?"

If there's something I have to give Peeta Mellark credit for, it's having a way with words. Charismatic and persuasive, I'd swear that he could make anyone believe anything.

He's making me believe that Annie might actually be okay.

"Seven more of us die," Katniss replies flatly, not a single ounce of hope or strength in her voice.

I'm torn being laughing and bursting into tears. Instead, a weird gasping noise escapes my throat. Johanna's hand tightens its grip on my shoulder.

Sometimes, I cannot believe how different Katniss and Peeta are.

But she's right. What did Mariana say when we realized we were in the top six?

Mariana came running only to find me staring at the boy dead in my net, my trident in his chest. He was from district nine. He looked younger than me. And now he was dead.

"Finnick, we're in the top six now."

"I guess we are." I forced myself to look away from the boy as I wrenched my trident out of his lifeless body. "What do we do next?"

She had laughed, without any humor at all. "We're not done the Games yet, Finnick. There's six of us left. Five more of us have to die."

And then Mariana was flying forward, an arrow protruding from her neck. She hit the ground with a thud.

I watched in horror as my seventeen year old district partner, who told me stories of her three little brothers, yanked the arrow straight out of her own neck, without even a thought.

I didn't even have time to say make a sound before her canon sounded.

All I saw was Platinum disappearing into the forest, leaving me with two dead bodies. A friend and a foe.

But both dead all the same.

Peeta is still talking and I force myself to listen. "No, back home. What happens when they reach the final eight tributes in the Games?" He lifts Katniss's chin tenderly but sternly, forcing her to look him in the eye. Forcing her to focus on his words and his words only. "What happens? At the final eight?"

Katniss has this look on her face. Like she's drowning and Peeta is a line being cast in the water to save her. "At the final eight," she says slowly. "They interview your family and friends back home."

"That's right," Peeta says softly. "They interview your family and friends. And can they do that if they've killed them all?"

"No?"

I see where he's going with this. It's a weak attempt at trying to calm Katniss down. To convince her that her sister is safe.

And maybe he's right.

But it's different for me. They may not be able to torture Prim and Kantniss's friends, but they could torture Annie. Because they don't need Annie to interview. They could just interview my clients from the Capitol. They'd have plenty to say.

No. The Capitol has no need to keep Annie safe.

But...

She's a Victor. While she may not be a popular one, Capitol citizens would probably still be upset to see her tortured. And Snow could play off my relationship with Annie as one of deep friendship. The same way they pretend that Gale is her cousin. If I'm lucky, Capitol citizens will remember the interviews Kai and Annie gave during the 65th Games.

I look at Katniss. No, the Capitol wouldn't be able to capture and torture all of her family and friends. Someone would notice. Plutarch, head Gamemaker and key member of the rebellion, wouldn't allow it.

He knows I'd probably kill him myself if he knowingly out Annie in danger.

They couldn't have tortured Annie, Dylan, Meredith, Sirena, and Martin. Three of them are Victors. Untouchable. To even touch them would be to incur the anger of the Capitol. I remember the Capitol citizens and their disbelieving anger on the night of the interviews, when Peeta had spun the pregnancy story.

The last thing Snow wants is a rebellion in his precious Capitol.

I feel myself start to deflate. Maybe they all really are okay.

"No. That's how we know Prim's alive," Peeta continues, going along the lines of my thoughts. "She'll be the first one they interview, won't she? First Prim. Then your mother. Your cousin, Gale. Madge. It was a trick, Katniss. A horrible one. But we're the only ones who can be hurt by it. We're the ones in the Games. Not them."

Johanna whispers into my ear, "He's right, Finnick. She's okay." And I can finally manage to breathe.

Katniss searches Peeta's eyes. "You really believe that?"

He nods earnestly and I can't stop staring at him, hoping his words are true. "I really do."

Katniss glances at me. "Do you believe it, Finnick?"

I nod slowly. Peeta's right. He has to be right. I can't face the alternative. "It could be true. I don't know." I glance over at Beetee, who might actually know how the mutts work. "Could they do that, Beetee? Take someone's regular voice and make it..."

I can't even find the words to describe how agonizing those screams were.

"Oh, yes." Beetee nods fervently. "It's not even that difficult, Finnick. Our children learn a similar technique at school."

Before I started going to the Academy, I spent hours in lessons on math, language, and all things nautical and sea. What does District Three teach their kids?

"Of course Peeta's right." Johanna's voice is flat. A sure sign she's about to go off on a tangent. I twist around, trying to catch her gaze, but she pays me no attention as she continues. "The whole country adores Katniss's little sister. if they really killed her like this, they'd probably have an uprising on their hands." Me and Beetee exchange a look. He looks torn between concerned and exasperated. I grip her arm in warning but she throws back her head and shouts, "Don't what that, do they? Whole country in rebellion? Wouldn't want anything like that!"

As Katniss and Peeta's mouths fall open in shock, I grip her arm as tightly as she did mine a few minutes ago. "Johanna!" My voice, still hoarse, comes out as a hiss. "Stop it! Chill!"

Johanna's fists clench at her sides and I know who she's thinking about. Her little brother. Killed with the rest of her family when she refused to be prostituted by Snow. Maybe if she had been more popular, like Katniss, he could have lived.

She fumes for a few seconds but when she sees my pleading look, she grudgingly lowers her hands to her sides. After a few seconds, she grabs some shells near my feet and starts towards the jungle. "I'm getting water." Her voice is flat and filled with rage.

Despite my fear of her running into the Careers and the fact that my hands haven't stopped trembling, I decide to let her go. When Johanna is mad, the best thing to do is let her rage run its course. She probably needs a place to rage and scream without the rest of us seeing.

But Katniss, who I was sure couldn't stand Johanna, catches her hand as she passes. Johanna goes utterly still. "Don't go in there," Katniss says, her voice as raw as mine. "The birds..."

But Johanna just shrugs her hand free. "They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love." And with that, she stalks off into the jungle. My heart aches for my best friend, who has truly lost everyone she has ever loved. It's the reason she takes forever to open up to people. She doesn't want to face the pain of losing someone again.

She returns with the water, which Katniss takes silently. When she hands me one, I put my hand on her wrist. "You okay, Jo?"

"Yeah," she says flatly. "I'm fine."

"But—"

"I'll go get our Mockingjay's arrows." Her voice is bitter but I know that none of it is directed towards Katniss. "I guess she couldn't even hang on to those." And with that, she heads out to the jungle again and I'm left alone.

I bring the shell of water to my lips but set it down when I see the blood lacing my forearms. Who knows what kind of vines I ran into while chasing down Annie's voice? Beetee says something, but the ringing in my ears starts again.

I'm resting in the Mentor lounge after a night with three different clients. With my two best friends in the arena, I need all the sponsor money I can get my hands on.

Someone places a hand on my shoulder and I start, my hands instinctively going up to attack my assailant.

"It's just me, Finnick. It's Mags"

All I need is one look at Mags's worried face and I jump up from the couch. "What is it? Are they okay?"

She pauses and I'm pushing past her, rushing to the Mentor control center.

I don't actually get to my table, because the sight of Kai and Annie on the big screen stops me.

I notice Kai first, his spear clashing with the spear of Calix, the male from District 1, and the sword from his District partner, Lenna. He has a cut from his shoulder to his elbow and he stumbles as he tries to lead the two of them away from his sister.

Annie struggles in the grasp of Circe, the absolute giant from 10 who somehow found his way into the Career pack after Kai and Annie rejected them. Circe holds a knife to her side as tears run down her face.

I must make some sort of noise because suddenly, every mentor in the control room is looking at me. I catch Haymitch Abernathy, who actually has a tribute still in the Games for once, give me a sympathetic look. Gloss gives me a look that's only half apologetic. We may be friends but our tributes are fighting each other for survival.

My eyes don't leave the screen as Mags takes my hand and guides me towards our table. My hands are shaking uselessly at my sides.

Annie is struggling but Circe doesn't loosen his grip. He's hesitating with the knife and, for a moment, I feel relief at the idea that he might not have it in him to kill her. Still, he's pressing hard enough to draw blood.

Kai is loosing focus and energy the longer the three of them fight. Half his attention is focused on Annie and the other two use this to their advantage, slashing anywhere they can reach.

I all but collapse into the chair in front of me, my eyes going to the computer in front of me as I search for something I could send them. But what?

This is the part I hate about being a mentor. We are powerless the times our tributes actually need us.

As Annie watches her brother fight with terrified eyes, I notice her hand slowly reaching for her knife.

"You should have joined us when you had the chance, 4," Calix taunts. "Then maybe we would have let you live."

Kai jumps away from the other boy's spear. "Don't even pretend that you have a single ounce of decency in your body. I saw what you did to that little girl from 9."

"We'll kill you!" Lenna growls. "We'll make you beg for mercy before we kill you."

And then a knife is flying through the air, whistling as it goes by, and everyone goes still.

Annie's hand is outstretched and Circe is on the floor from where she's kneed him in the gut. The knife sticks into Lenna's shoulder and the girl screams in surprise, stumbling as her sword clatters to the ground.

Kai doesn't wait. He jumps forward, his spear running right through Lenna's chest. Annie screams in terror and Kai is gasping as he pulls his sword out again. Distantly, I can hear Cashmere cursing.

The cannon sounds and many things happen at once.

Annie makes a run for Kai but Circe shoves her into a tree, getting her into a headlock against the thick trunk.

Kai screams for his sister and runs towards her, his spear raised.

Calix, who had screamed in aungish as Lenna fell, grabs Kai by the hair, forcing him back.

And then Calix runs his spear straight through Kai's neck.

I must stop breathing.

I must. Because I'm on the ground and my best friend's head is on the ground too. But his body isn't attached to it. His head is on the ground and the rope bracelet I made him five years ago is on an arm that isn't even attached to his head.

Because Annie's eyes are blown wide with terror and she's just staring at her brother's face, his eyes still wide open.

Because Mags is saying something but all I can think of is Kai coming up to me in the train and telling me that I had to save Annie over him.

That Annie was the one who had to live.

Annie, who is staring at her brother's head that was just severed off his body. Annie who is limp against Circe's thick forearm. Annie who is frozen even as Calix laughs and taunts her.

The cannon goes off. Kai's cannon.

I think a part of me dies with him. The same way I died when Brooke died. When mom died.

Calix lifts up Kai's head with a sadistic grin and stalks towards Annie. He waves it—actually waves it—in front of Annie's face.

I'm heaving into the ground as Mags's cool heads splay over my burning hot skin. Someone is screaming and the screams are so terrible that I want to close my eyes. It takes me a moment to realize that it's me. I'm the one screaming.

And Annie finally moves. She pushes Circe off of her and takes of into the forest, stumbling and retching. She runs until she collapses onto the ground.

That's when the screams start. She throws her head back and cries out in grief, in terror, and screams as through she's being burned alive. Screams so loud they echo in my mind. She screams until she makes herself hysterical and all I can do is stare at her, wishing desperately I could stop her pain.

All while her terrified screams ring in my ears.

Beetee is still talking. "Are you okay, Finnick?" He takes the empty shell form my hands. They're shaking so badly I've spilled all the water onto the forest floor.

I look down. "I'll be fine." It's a lie and he knows it.

Katniss is still wrapped in Peeta's arms and soon Beetee starts messing around with his wire. I still can't believe how much of our plan depends on a spool of wire so thin it looks as though I could snap it in my hands.

Please be safe, Annie. I need you to be safe.

My head is spinning and I wish with all my heart that Mags could be with me now. I wish she hadn't died in the fog. I wish I could have saved her.

I wish I was back home in District 4. I wish my dad's ship hadn't sank and I had never gone to the Training Academy.

I wish me, Brooke, Kai, and Annie could be kids again, running in the sand and collecting sea glass for our mothers.

I wish I could go swimming again. Nothing ever grounded me quite so much as the feel as water between my fingers.

My mom taking me to the ocean the day before my first Reaping, promising me that everything would be okay.

Mags shoving my hands into a bowl of water as I gasped and shook, trembling against memories I would do anything to get rid of.

Annie deciding that she was finally ready to go for a swim. An evening spent splashing each other in the waves where I could forget about Snow and my clients.

I find myself in the water, letting the waves lap against my toes. The golden Cornucopia gleams in the sun. I let myself sink under the waves, basking in the clarity that the water provides.

No screaming, no fighting, no Capitol.

Just me and the waves.

I stay under until the screams in my head aren't so loud anymore. When I come up for air, I'm almost gasping. But with the air comes the resounding terror that I've felt ever since my name was Reaped a decade ago. I'm always afraid. For my own life. For that of my loved ones.

And now I'm so terrified for Annie that I don't know how I'm still breathing.

I miss you Annie. So so much.

I can't wait to see you again.


There you go! A Finnick and Annie oneshot for all of you who love these two as much as I do. After working on my current multi chap story for a long time now and not really getting anywhere, I wanted to try something different. I've always wondered what the Jabberjay scene would be like from Finnick's point of view and I've been wanting to write something like this for a very long time. It got super long since I wanted to get Finnick and Annie's entire backstory in but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Let me know what you think!