A/N: This was supposed to be a one-shot for the SasuHina Month Day 2 prompt "Basorexia." However, it turned out to be much longer than I expected, and I had less time to dedicate than I'd like, so this will turn into a multi-chapter short fic. I hope to post a chapter each week with a different prompt for SH Month 2022. It is unbeta'd. Be forewarned, grammatical errors and crackish humor ahead! Enjoy!
Chapter 1: The Curse
Basorexia: An unbearable urge to kiss
SH Month Day 2 Prompt
Why did I agree to this?
"Sasuke!" The loud squeal coming from under a bubblegum pink bob served to exacerbate his growing headache.
I hate parties.
Sasuke silently watched from the doorstep as Sakura excitedly rushed forward to embrace her old teammate in greeting. With a well-timed step back, he simultaneously avoided her touch and conveyed his distaste for physical contact.
Sakura, being astute as she was, quickly understood the action and stopped herself from reaching for him. The war was over. Sasuke had been on a journey of redemption for years, and she had finally learned to move on.
Dispelling the awkward moment, she gave a tight-lipped smile with an almost pitying expression that Sasuke couldn't help but loath. Sakura turned her head away and yelled, "Naruto! Guess who's back?"
From the depths of Sakura's small house came a familiar, gruff roar, "SASUKEEE!""
Now in their early twenties, the Konoha Twelve were no longer young shinobi. Neji was gone, Tenten moved to Suna, and the rest, while living in Konoha, hardly had time to see each other. By some miracle, Tenten and Sasuke's return visits coincided, and the group, led by Ino and Sakura, decided to host a get-together at Sakura's newly purchased home.
"Come on inside! Everyone's here already." Sakura waved at the dark and imposing figure to follow her. Removing his travel worn boots and leaving them by the door, Sasuke barely took two steps into the hallway before a large, orange bundle of energy pounced on him.
"Teme! I almost didn't expect you to show up, 'ya know?" Naruto offered a happy smile that forced his eyes to squint into tiny crescents. With a one-armed hug that could pass as strangling, his other hand attempted to ruffle Sasuke's already messy and overgrown hair. Their female counterpart tittered at the display of manly affection.
As ill-disposed and aloof as the ex-avenger came across, he had more patience for Naruto's antics than most people. Like a practiced routine, he simply removed Naruto's overly eager hand from inflicting more damage.
"I said I would be here. I am here." The cold indifference in his voice was completely ignored by Team Seven's alumni. It had come to be expected.
"Damn right you are!" Naruto exclaimed happily.
The space boasted a modern layout with the kitchen, dining room and living room being in a single open area, unhindered by walls. Immediately, Sasuke's fight or flight drive kicked in as he took in the shoulder-to-shoulder atmosphere. Not only were the remaining Konoha 12 there, but there were spouses and other unfamiliar guests crowding the already cramped space.
Twenty minutes, and then I'll leave, he assured himself.
After the escape plan hatched in his mind, he eyed a dark corner he was compelled to occupy. To his dismay, as soon as he began to slink off to that unclaimed and safe location, he felt a harsh tug on the collar of his sable cloak.
"No way! You just got here. You're staying right where I can see you," Naruto playfully reprimanded; a heavy arm casually, but securely, slinging around the shoulders of the touch-averse shinobi.
Receiving a scowl in response, Naruto laughed heartily and began to do what he did best- talk. Without letting go of Sasuke, the tall young blond dragged him to another pair of excited blondes. Sasuke felt his mood drop even further.
Females…
"Shion, this is Sasuke- my BEST friend from the academy! Sasuke, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Shion, and her friend Ririka. Funny story, they both work at the temple, but people think Ririka is a witch! HA!"
Sasuke offered a silent nod in acknowledgment while Naruto belly laughed hard enough to form tears. Uninterested in continuing the discussion, while deciding it wasn't worthwhile to escape Naruto's side, his attention started to wander. He perused the basic layout of the structure, memorized the exits, and studied the crowd.
Tenten was sitting on a bench, excitedly chatting with Lee. Gaara sat on her other side, a subdued longing gaze directed at the unsuspecting brunette.
Sasuke scoffed internally at the interplay and moved to the next group. Next to Gaara stood Temari, with a babbling infant on her hip, and Shikamaru. To Sasuke's surprise, the class genius was in deep conversation with Shino. He didn't know much about Team Eight. He never cared to know and wasn't about to start.
So, he decided to move on.
There were some unknown, and uninteresting, faces. Girl's flirting with guys, guys bragging with guys, and girls giving him suggestive stares that he proceeded to ignore.
Boring.
His focus landed on Choji who was happily filling his plate with the savory dishes on the table. No surprise there.
Ino, who was placing fresh addition from the kitchen, slapped his hand and lightly scolded, "At least wait until I put it down!"
Breaking him from his people watching, Sakura spoke to Sasuke in a hushed murmur while Naruto continued to gab. "I'll come back to check on you guys later. I'm so glad you made it, Sasuke."
He nodded blankly.
She smiled warmly at him and went off to play host, and make her rounds with the other attendees. After she stopped chasing him, and began to focus on herself more, it became easy for Sakura to make new friends. Ino also lost interest in the Uchiha since she only wanted his attention because she knew Sakura did. They became closer than ever.
As he trailed Sakura's departure from their group, his eyes landed on a quiet pair socializing on the back porch. He couldn't hear the conversation through the shut glass door, but he could clearly see everything from his vantage point. With their backs to him he could not easily identify the couple, but he was curiously drawn to the scene.
The tall, muscularly built man had unkempt, shoulder-length brown hair and was fairly familiar. The woman next to him, however, was an enigma.
It wasn't her silky long strands of blue-black hair that he noticed first. Neither was it the milky smooth complexion of her bare arms that glistened naturally in the sun as they mindlessly ruffled through the thick, white pelt of a docile beast. Nor was it the heaven's blessed curves and sinewy lines of her feminine build.
Although he wasn't ignorant to her physical appeal, the first thing that he noticed was the way she moved.
She was the most graceful creature he'd ever laid eyes on.
His throat suddenly felt dry, forcing him to swallow to quench his growing thirst. There was a slight but deep uptick of his heart's rhythmic beating. He drew in a breath to fill his desperate lungs and cool his warm core.
Who is she?
Drawing his dark brows together he unconsciously activated his sharingan in devout concentration. His pupils expanding to take in as much of her as he could. Wildly spinning pinwheels analyzing every shift of her head, each inhalation, and the smooth motion of her hands.
"Ummm… earth to Sasuke?"
A large, calloused palm waved inches from his face, effectively obstructing his perfect view of the mystery goddess. Annoyed, he glared at the nine-tails jinchuriki darkly and seethed, "What?"
As the hand fell, it was replaced by expressively wide blue eyes perched under raised brows. The perpetrator was a little too close for comfort causing Sasuke to instinctively lean away.
Taking in the Uchiha's reddened face and dark expression, Naruto cut his stare over his shoulder to seek out exactly what had captured his friend's attention so raptly. The Uzumaki's confusion quickly morphed into a mischievous satisfaction, and he turned back to his friend with a smirk. Tilting towards Sasuke's ear, he spoke under his breath. "Hinata's hot right? She confessed to me once, 'ya know?"
Hinata?
"I would've said yes, but Shion and I had already started dating, so I kinda ignored her. I just felt bad about rejecting a nice girl who's done so much for me. And then after the Toneri thing happened, she stopped talking to me," he began to ramble.
"WHAT?" Feeling appalled by Naruto's lack of judgment and oddly concerned about Toneri, 'the moon terrorist,' Sasuke could not keep the rising anger from his voice. What was this feeling? Was he feeling jealous? Protective? He was definitely frustrated.
Backing away, the Uzumaki scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Ehhh… let's talk about it later. It's not really that important. Right now, what's important is we were just talking about going on a double date!" Beaming ear-to-ear like a Cheshire cat, he proposed, "Me and Shion, and you and Ririka. Saturday night. Great idea, am I right?!"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata walk in with… right, Team Eight's Kiba and their mascot horse dog- whatever his name was. The new spectators did not quell his heightened nerves. Instead, Hinata's beautifully innocent, and blissfully unaware eyes seemed to light a fire in him.
Channeling his rage into his usual trigger point, he loudly exclaimed, "What is wrong with you?"
Squinting his perplexed stare, Naruto repeated, "What is wrong with me? What d'ya mean what is wrong with me? What is wrong with you! I'm trying to set you up with a girl, you moron!"
Equally matched in both talent and stature, Naruto bumped his chest against Sasuke's, standing toe-to-toe and nose-to-nose in challenge.
Witnessing the rising hostility, the rest of the crowd began to press in with anticipation.
This only served to infuriate Sasuke further. With a maliciously calm tone, he muttered, "Some friend you are. You don't know the first thing about me. When have you ever seen me go on a date with anyone? Why the hell would I want to go on a date with her."
Before the village hero could voice his intent to help, the woman in question intruded with her hands on her hips and a defensive snarl, "And what exactly is wrong with me? You think you're so cool because you're the last Uchiha and girls fawn all over you? Well, let me tell you hot stuff- I can read you like an open book! You're just a scared little boy. Scared of anyone getting close. Scared of any sort of physical interaction that doesn't involve violence. At this rate, your clan is going to stay dead, and you'll be alone forever!"
The room was so silent, you could hear the whistle of the air as it blew through the small gaps of the crevices in the house. Even Naruto was speechless, gawking his wide blue eyes at the bold and shameless female.
Sasuke's face remained apathetic but under it all, his blood was steaming. "Thank you." That caught everyone off guard. His voice was smooth and even, but everyone could feel the dangerous undercurrent skimming the surface. "Not only have you displayed precisely what is wrong with you, but you've also reminded me of why I choose not to be intimate with anyone. I have no doubt that whomever chooses you for a bride would rather wish he hadn't."
The sting of his words lingered in the air, but not for long. Ririka, face puffy and eyes red with tears welling at the corners, summoned all her anger and will and directed it towards the cold Uchiha with a sneer. "How dare you! I curse you, Uchiha Sasuke! You who are so afraid of intimacy, are cursed with days unnumbered of exactly that which you loath the most!"
She squealed in delight and boisterously laughed. The crowd murmured amongst themselves. Uncomfortable with the strained conditions, some chose to depart- including Team Eight, leaving him forlorn.
Turning his attention to Naruto, who looked like he just watched his frog wallet speak a different language, Sasuke informed as politely as possible, "I'm leaving." Then he turned his back on the blond trio, his cloak floating behind him with the motion, and leveraged his long legs to expedite his exit without breaking into a run.
Snapping out of his trance, Naruto went after him. "Hey, Sasuke- Wait!"
When he reached the brooding male, he grabbed his shoulder from behind in an attempt to stop him.
As Sasuke spun to face the aspiring Hokage, Naruto clumsily tripped on his own large feet. He was sent hurtling towards the unprepared Uchiha, whose special eyes noted the 'oh shit' he mouthed as their distance closed.
Sasuke's eyes widened in horror, realizing at this range it was already too late. His lips twisted into a grimace as they were met with Naruto's sloppy open mouth. It slid down his chin, leaving a trail of saliva as they fell. Naruto knocked his friend to the ground with him, and landed between his legs. His spiky blond head resting on Sasuke's solid chest.
"Get OFF of me!" Sasuke demanded.
While Naruto scrambled away from the deadly shinobi emitting a faint warning aura, Ririka's laugh bounced off the walls in a perverse cacophony. "And so it begins!" She bellowed maniacally, hands gripping her stomach, filling the room with her mirth.
Sasuke quickly rose to his feet and departed with more haste than necessary. This time, Naruto did not follow.
A strange feeling began to form in the pit of his stomach. His growing unease a biproduct of her words.
That had to be a coincidence. Right?
Turning his focus back towards the house from where Ririka's howls pursued him, and mind entrenched in recent memory, he did not see the ball arcing towards his head.
Subconsciously, he was aware of someone frantically yelling, "Watch out!"
Snapping his attention back to his path, his sight flashed white. A moment of dizzying pain and he was flat on his back with a throbbing lump on his skull.
"Ow," he mumbled to himself, bringing his hand up to rub the sore spot.
Soon thereafter, his face was once again coated in saliva. This time dog saliva. A giant canine had licked from chin to forehead in a contrite act.
Sasuke froze. Eyes blinking rapidly in dawning recognition of what had happened.
Face filled with disgust, he propped himself up to a sitting position and wiped the slobber on his sleeve as he did so. He winced his eyes shut to bear the pain, and haphazardly registered the set of feet pounding against the pavement towards him.
"I am so sorry," Kiba emphatically apologized while he tugged the back of Akamaru's neck fur, attempting give the Uchiha some much needed space. Looking at his furry companion, the Inuzuka admonished, "You were supposed to catch that, Akamaru! What happened?"
The large white dog whined and placed a paw over his nose.
"A-are you okay?" A softly maternal voice twinkled, capturing Sasuke's attention.
His onyx gaze lazily lifted to find the owner staring back at him with concern. Her eyes were even prettier up close, he realized. Though the Hyuga had white eyes, there was so much more to them than a flat canvas. There was visual depth and complexity. Though pupilless, there was a distinction between the sclera and iris, which was gemlike and reflected a light purple hue.
After he was silent for too long, dumbly observing the female without acknowledgement, Hinata kneeled in front of him with worry, and stated mostly to her teammates, "He might have a concussion. I think I should check."
Grasping the fact that he was acting out of character, he was about to refuse her services and let her know he was fine when his name was called out from some distance away.
And again.
"Sasukeeee!"
It was Sakura.
She was lightly jogging towards him, her face morphed with concern, and he began panicking.
What if the curse was real?
What if some other accident befell him which resulted in another lip locking scene? In the past five minutes, he'd already been kissed twice. He could not, would not, suffer another unwanted second of intimacy.
If he was going to be cursed by some annoying witch, by sheer force of will he would grab fate by the horns and force it bend to him. Starting now.
At a few feet away Sakura slowed her stride and started to speak, but stopped abruptly when she witnessed a most unexpected event. In a harried rush, Sasuke placed his palm on the back of Hinata's head, looked her straight in the eye, and before he could lose his muster, placed his lips against hers.
He could feel the heat form under his hands, and he did not know if it was coming from her cheeks or if his palms were sweating. It was intended to be a chaste kiss. Something quick and effective- like him. He expected it to be like the other kisses he'd experienced in his life, with Naruto, but this was different.
His lips lingered against hers as he took in their softness. His firm mouth lost the edge of tension they started with. The quickening in his pulse matched his sudden need for air. His eyelids closed of their own accord, and he found himself gasping and securing her lips again.
His fingers began to tangle in her hair and her rigid body went soft, pliable. He took this as a good sign, until he realized there was added weight to her as well.
At that moment, he felt himself being roughly pulled away from the object of his exploration.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kiba groused.
Sasuke watched silently as Shino gently picked Hinata up in his arms in a bridal style carry. She had passed out.
Sakura stood idly with her jaw hanging wide, with no attempt to hide her shock. Although her mouth was open, for once, she was quiet.
"Let's go, Kiba," Shino coolly instructed.
"Tch! You better watch yourself buddy. I might not be able to kill you, but I can and will hurt you if you pull another stunt like that," Kiba threatened, releasing the back of Sasuke's shirt.
Kiba's threat did not pierce the haze of euphoria in his mind. He sat there motionless staring after Hinata's limp form. Long after her teammates had taken her away. Past the moment when Sakura mumbled her goodbyes.
He sat…
… and he thought…
… about a certain pearl eyed Hyuga who might have just escaped with a tiny piece of him.
~~~ To Be Continued ~~~
