Ch 1
"I got good news and bad news." Pike said, entering the bridge.
"What's the good news, sir?" Ortegas asked.
"Tholians are open for negotiations. And they want us to take the lead." Pike answered.
"And the bad news?" Una asked.
"We'll be alone. And we've no idea just what Tholian ships are capable of. For all we know they can destroy us in a single shot, or we'll crush them like a bug. So stay alert for anything. We'll be on four watches for the duty shifts until this ends one way or another. I want emergency power balanced between the shields, weapons, and engines." Pike ordered.
"Expecting trouble, Captain?" Spock asked.
"Just want to be prepared, Spock." Pike replied.
Pike watched the viewscreen as they entered Tholian space, waiting for anything to happen. He and Una went over the little information the Federation had on the Tholians. All they knew for sure was that they were a xenophobic species who liked to keep to themselves. Their biology and technology were all but unknown. The most recent encounter with the Tholians was over 50 years ago.
"First time for anything." Una said.
Only a few minutes later, a Tholian ship exited warp. Pike raised an eyebrow, seeing the cuneiform shaped vessel.
"Captain, we're being hailed." Uhura said.
"Open the channel. This is Captain Pike of the starship Enterprise. We're here to start negotiations between the Federation and the Tholians." Pike started.
What came back was sharp clicking bites that echoed across the bridge.
"Sounds like the gorn." La'an darkly commented.
"Uhura, anything?" Una asked.
"We wish to be left alone. Please leave or we will destroy your ship."
"Friendly chaps. Captain, i suggest we follow its advice before their fleet arrives." La'an advised.
"I agree with you. Ortegas, turn us around. Take us out of Tholian space." Pike ordered.
Ortegas turned the ship around, only to gulp as two more Tholian ships appeared into view, their tail ends connected together. The Tholian ships separated from each other, an energy beam growing between them.
"What the hell are they doing?" Ortegas asked.
"Captain, i've analyzed their movements. It seems they're building an energy web." Spock informed.
"Energy web. They want to capture us. Target the nearest ship and fire." Pike ordered.
Una wasted no time in blasting one of the Tholian ships to dust and metal with the ship's phasers.
"Ortegas, maximum warp. Now!" Pike exclaimed.
The Enterprise quickly warped out of the area, leaving the Tholians frustrated.
"Captain, i'm receiving a message from the Tholians on all channels." Uhura said.
"What does it say?" Pike asked.
"We will continue our eastward expansion into federation space. Do not interfere." Uhura translated.
"Damn it." Pike muttered.
Pike spent the next few days talking to the admiralty, hoping to get reinforcements for the next inevitable encounter. But he only got bad news.
"Sorry, Captain. Brass is taking a head in the sands approach right now. They just don't consider the Tholians to be much of a problem, unlike the Romulans and Klingons." Robert admitted.
"Bob, we've intercepted a transmission from the Tholians, saying they will continue to expand into our territory. We have to respond." Pike pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Chris. But since you're the closest to the Tholians, the ball's in your court. Good luck." Robert answered.
…
Una could only shake her head in disbelief as she looked thru the security cameras. She saw Pike and Ortegas dressed up like 21st century terrorists, while Uhura was filming them. What the fuck were they doing?
"Alright. And action." Uhura directed.
Pike suddenly shouted broken Klingon, making manic gestures with his hands and arms.
"yInwIj jatlh yIqIp! boQwI' DeghwI', tIQwI'!"
"Cut! Captain, do you understand what you were saying?" Uhura asked.
"No. I just yelled out random Klingon sounds." Pike answered.
"Sir, you said my dog gave my cat syphilis. The bent straws will defeat the paperclips in the great emu war." Uhura deadpanned.
Ortegas could only laugh aloud.
"Just read the script, Captain." Uhura offered.
"I think this will be more effective in getting the message across." Pike replied.
"I think i should have something in my hands." Ortegas added.
"You don't need a weapon in your hands." Pike replied, but Orteagas continued to talk.
"Something like a disruptor or a machine gun." she continued.
"Sure. Why don't you go down to the dairy queen's and pick up a breen disruptor while you're at it?" Pike sarcastically asked.
Uhura raised the camera, and Pike once again began to rant in broken klingon, only for Ortega to break frame, saying she needed to get a weapon.
"Serious, Erica?" Pike muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Shrugging his shoulders, Pike followed suit and headed to the nearby replicator.
"Computer, a klingon sniper rifle. The bad-ass looking kind." He specified.
A pimped out klingon sniper rifle appeared into Pike's hands, much to his appreciation.
"I'm keeping this." he replied.
…
The bridge crew watched as Orgetas showed them the film she, Pike, and Uhura put together. Pike rambled on in broken Klingon with animated hand and arm movements. He then reached behind his back and pulled out the big klingon rifle, aiming it as if he were going to kill the cameraman.
"Do not continue eastward expansion. Bad decision!" he growled; then he continued on his broken Klingon.
"We'll crush your skulls with our weapons!" Ortegas proudly exclaimed, brandishing a batleth out of nowhere.
Uhura stopped the video, with shock on her face.
"We can't send this." she said.
"What do you mean we can't?" Ortegas asked.
"You two are dressed like terrorists, threatening Tholians! You're going to get arrested, or murdered!" Uhura continued.
"We're threatening Tholians. The creepy-ass roaches of the galaxy. It's no big deal, cadet." Ortegas calmly said.
"Captain, please tell me you're not going to send this to the Tholian homeworld." Una pleaded.
"Don't worry. We're not going to send it." Pike affirmed.
"Oh thank god." Una sighed.
"Because we've already sent it." Pike dropped.
"You've done what?!" Una all but shouted.
"Yep. About three days ago, me and Ortegas were on viper patrol when we encountered a subspace relay that had the range to reach Tholian space. So what did we do, we sent it halfway to Tholia." Pike answered.
Una could only drop her cup of coffee, looking at the captain with a blank stare in her eyes.
"I hope to God the Tholians are in a good mood." she slowly said.
