Demented Ch 23
"You were acquitted."
"I know."
"Then why the long face?"
Harry thought that over. He still felt numb. At first, he hadn't even been sure of his fate when the trial ended. It had been a trial. To call the farce he had just experienced a hearing was unjust. It wasn't just their glaring at Snape and making snide comments about his new arrangements, or their casting aspersions of his record at school that bothered him. They'd questioned his intelligence, his background, his parents' background, and magical ability. At one point they'd even questioned his sanity, but he'd been prepared for that.
Newspapers had been calling him insane and a liar all summer.
"Just tired, I guess," Harry finally said.
Despite having spent a few weeks living with Snape, Harry still did not feel close to the man, at least not enough to confide in him. Snape had taken him in out of obligation, or because no one else was able to. It didn't mean he cared about Harry. Even if he did, Harry did not really know him yet. He found it hard to trust anyone.
This summer Harry was sticking to his decision not to let anyone close. Anyone who was ever supposed to have cared about him had left him or let him down. Ron had abandoned him when his name was entered in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Hermione was always trying to bully him into doing what she thought was right, Sirius was too caught up in his own problems to notice what Harry really wanted, and Remus had lost interest in him after Hogwarts. Harry didn't need them. He didn't need anyone.
"Best to put it behind you," Snape said. "Focus on the upcoming school year."
Harry nodded. He was looking forward to going back to school. He'd always felt at home at Hogwarts more than anywhere else, which was ironic considering that he had never really been safe or treated as if he belonged. It was still better than how he was treated in the Muggle world though. At eleven, the improvement had blown his mind. It was the first time he had made friends and been decently fed and clothed on a regular basis.
He had already packed his trunks ready to move to Hogwarts. There were two weeks before the school year started, but Snape had meetings and preparations for the upcoming year. Harry hadn't seen his new room yet. He was somewhat nervous about the idea of having a room in Snape's quarters at Hogwarts. The Manor was neutral. This was Slytherin territory.
They arrived by Flu from Diagon Alley after spending the day shopping. Harry was glad to have spending money he didn't need to spend on school books, which Snape had purchased for him weeks ago, or other school supplies. Snape paid for his robes and had his other supplies ordered. Then he let Harry wander around. It was very businesslike compared to Harry's usual school shopping trips and he found himself missing shopping with Ron and Hermione even though he was rowing with them a bit still.
His birthday had gone well, overall. Harry was still amazed that no one had fought and Snape had never punished him for being in the lab. He wasn't naive enough to believe that his guardian didn't know they'd been in there. He had expected fireworks after his friends had left, but Snape had never brought it up other than alluding to the fact that the twins were clever.
So Harry had wandered around Diagon Alley by himself, buying a few sweets and Quidditch magazines but otherwise not really in the mood. He'd run into a few Hogwarts students but no one he was really close to. He was almost glad when Snape ushered him back toward the Leaky Cauldron to go to Hogwarts.
After stumbling out of the Flu, Harry stepped aside to let Snape through. He was always a little wary of them. Going with Snape made him feel even worse.
His first glance of Snape's Hogwarts quarters was a bit of a let-down. He had expected wall-to-ceiling green or black and silver. Instead, the room didn't look much different than Snape's study at the Manor. Harry noticed the man smirking slightly and realized he probably knew what Harry was thinking.
"The rules here will be the same as home," Snape intoned, not missing a beat. "Do not enter my room or office without knocking. I might have a student or staff member in my office."
"Office?" Harry asked, realizing he was interrupting.
"Yes," Snape said with a raised brow. "It is connected, down that hall. He gestured with a nod.
"Oh," Harry said. It had not occurred to him that Snape's office would be connected to his personal quarters. The thought was somewhat disquieting, but he wasn't sure exactly why.
"Yes, Sir."
"The kitchen," Snape had started walking, and gestured to a small kitchen that was really more of a kitchenette. It didn't contain appliances, but had cabinets and a sink. Harry figured everything else was done with magic or by house elves. "You are welcome to anything there or to request things from the school kitchens. It has been stocked with your usual fare."
As if that was nothing, Snape continued walking down that hall, but Harry was glued to the floor. The fact that Snape knew what he liked to eat and had ordered ahead to stock his quarters with it was such an odd thought that he was still struggling with it minutes later when he realized that Snape was still talking to him.
"This closet has towels," Snape was saying, referring to the hallway, "and this one contains potions and tinctures. Do not, under any circumstances, help yourself to the contents without permission. If you need something, you will ask. If I am not around and you are ill, you can ask Madame Pomfrey. I do not want you self-medicating."
"Wait," Harry said, as Snape was starting to move on from that pronouncement. "What if I just have a headache or something?"
"Harry," Snape said calmly. "Potions are not like Muggle medications. Dosage and type are very important." He paused. "Do you often have headaches?"
Harry did not like the close look Snape was scrutinizing him with. He was well aware that the man had a rule against lying and that he was supposed to tell him about injuries and ailments. Harry just didn't consider a headache any big deal. He'd had them most of his life. The question about a pain reliever had just popped out.
"Answer the question."
Apparently, Harry had gone too long without answering. Snape was now looking at him as if he were a potion that had simmered over. Harry didn't like it at all.
"Sorry, Sir," Harry said. "It's alright."
"That," Snape said sternly and slowly, "is not an answer to my question."
"Um," Harry paused. "Well, sure, sometimes. It's normal to have headaches."
"Actually, Harry, it is not," Snape said, still scrutinizing him. "I was going to take you to take you Madame Pomfrey anyway. A more thorough checkup is needed now that you have undergone some training, to compare your fitness and condition to before. Perhaps you suffered an injury we were not aware of."
"What?" Harry said, trying not to sound panicky. "No, Sir, really, that is not necessary."
"It most certainly is, young man," Snape snapped. "And you would do well to remember that I am your guardian, and if I say you are having an evaluation, you will do it."
"Yes, Sir," Harry said meekly. He knew better than to argue with that tone.
Snape nodded stiffly, and pointed to a closed door behind Harry. "That is your room."
Since he hadn't even noticed the door during the argument, Harry started a bit. He turned around and opened the knob slowly. For some reason, he was a little hesitant. He had a bedroom in the dungeons. It was just weird.
He didn't want to seem ungrateful though. He gave Snape a shy smile and opened the door all the way. The room was larger than he had expected and had the same type of furniture as he had in the dorm. It was the same bed with Gryffindor duvet and there was also a dresser and nightstand. A fireplace, desk, and bookshelf rounded out the room. The stone floor was warmed up by a plush area rug with a Gryffindor crest.
"Wow," Harry said.
"Yes," Snape said, sounding like he was trying to keep a sneer out of his voice. "You should feel quite at home.
"You don't have to," Harry said quickly. "The decor I mean. Are you sure?"
"The elves," Snape said. "Or possibly Professor McGonagall, although I will feed her to the Squid the next time she transforms if that is the case."
Harry giggled at the thought. "Did you just make a joke?" he asked in disbelief.
"Certainly not," Snape said stiffly. "If you wish, we can change the decor to match what you have at home."
"Please," Harry said with a nod. "This is just … wrong."
Snape smirked and with a wave of his wand the colors became the muted tones of Harry's Manor room. It was nice to have that touch of his summer home. It reminded him that it hadn't all been a dream.
"Thanks, Sir," Harry said. "Now no Slytherins will strangle me in my sleep."
"No Slytherins ever come in here, Harry," Snape assured him in a serious tone.
"Really?" Harry asked. "But you're the head of Slytherin."
"Yes," Snape said, and Harry was grateful that he didn't give Harry a look that showed he thought his ward was an idiot. "These are my private quarters. No students come in here."
"Oh."
Harry wasn't sure what to say about that. He hadn't given it any thought, but now that he considered it, he'd never spent any time in Professor McGonagall's quarters and couldn't imagine ever doing so. Professor Lupin, who had tried to act as if they were so close during his third year and then never spoken to him again, had never invited him anywhere but his office. Maybe it wasn't allowed.
"Let's get you unpacked," Snape said, giving Harry a look that made him think he knew what he was thinking. "Then I am going to get you an appointment with Madame Pomfrey."
Harry nodded, and miserably went into the room. He noticed that all of his trunks were already there and so were his packages from shopping that day. He knew that he should be grateful for all Snape did for him, but he was not looking forward to the appointment with the school mediwitch. He realized that Snape was under the impression that Harry'd had a full medical screening. He never had.
There was no way to get out of it. He knew by now that if Snape said a thing was going to be done, it would be done. At least that was one thing to be said for his guardian. He was reliable. Snape was consistently good at making sure Harry was well taken care of. After being neglected for so long, Harry was still uncomfortable with the idea of being watched so closely. He was used to taking care of himself.
This was an area where he would rather Snape left well enough alone.