Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. I do love to write about them though. Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor or medical healthcare professional. Although I have tried to research medical terms, they may not be one hundred percent accurate.

This story takes place after the end of season five when Atlantis is back in the Pegasus galaxy after a brief stay on earth.

Warning Shepwhump in this story – any excuse to whump Sheppard.

It's been a while since I last posted, but I have just moved interstate and moving has taken up most of my time over the last few months. This is for anyone who is still reading SGA stories.

Contemplations

He had no idea when things had become so complicated. They had been back in the Pegasus galaxy for four weeks after spending three months on earth. When they had arrived, John had expected that things would just continue on the way they had before Atlantis had ended up on Earth – but when had things ever been that simple for him?

The time he'd spent on Earth hadn't been all that bad, he had received his promotion to Full bird Colonel and received the medal of honour for being willing to sacrifice his life to take out the hive ship that had made its way to earth. That was probably the highlight of his time on earth and even though he hated any attention, he was pleasantly surprised by the quiet ceremony that was held in his honour.

Once the small ceremony was over, he'd very quickly become bored as Woolsey had spent most of his time in meetings with the IOA and SGC leaving him to play boss. Basically, all he had to do for nearly three months was to keep the science teams from killing Rodney and supervise the new recruits.

On the rare occasion he'd managed to get off Atlantis he had tried to visit his brother Dave and that had gone about as well as expected. As they still struggled to be in the same room together since Dave was still intent on berating him for his career choices. He had even managed to take Ronon and Teyla to San Francisco once or twice. Ronon hadn't seemed that interested, but Teyla had loved the Mall and had wanted to spend all of his money – much to his horror. Needless to say, the next time Teyla wanted to go shopping he sent Jennifer along with her.

When they had arrived back in the Pegasus galaxy, they had settled on a planet similar to the one that they had left, and he had christened it New Lantia. For a while, things had seemed normal as they re-established contact with their allies and trading partners in the Pegasus galaxy. But two weeks ago, things had begun to change, when Carson had decided that he wanted to head out into the wilds of the Pegasus galaxy to treat the sick and injured again – although that didn't really surprise him. A week ago, Ronon had met up with some fellow Satedans and the big man had discovered a planet where Satedans had begun to settle, now he was talking about going to live amongst his people again – Amelia Banks was even considering going with him. Rodney seemed to be happy to spend most of his time in his lab – that's when he wasn't hanging out with Doc Keller. Woolsey was considering leaving Atlantis and heading back to Earth and that took him completely by surprise, and it made him wonder why the man had even bothered coming back to the Pegasus galaxy in the first place. The thing that upset him the most though was that Teyla was talking about going back to live on New Athos with Kanaan and Torren and he wondered whether she would undertake the bonding ceremony with Kanaan in the near future. If she did, he hoped that she wouldn't expect him to be involved.

After Teyla had told him what she was considering he decided that he needed to get away for a few days, so he asked for a leave of Absence and thankfully Woolsey had agreed to him having a few days vacation. He had told his boss where he was going but had asked him not to tell anyone else and Woolsey had reluctantly agreed.

That was what had led him to his current predicament. He was sitting outside Carson's cabin on a planet they had designated as PX-317 waiting for the good doctor to return. He was now wishing that he had somehow told the Doctor that he was coming.

The sun was low on the horizon and there was a gentle breeze in the air, but he had decided on arrival that it would be rude to enter Carson's home without his permission – although if the temperature dropped much more, he would just have to go inside, so he didn't freeze to death. Although he could just head back to Atlantis and talk to his friends and try to communicate with them how he was feeling. How was he feeling? That was a question that he didn't know the answer to, he knew that everyone else seemed to be getting on with their lives – for some reason, the rest of his team had a partner, and he was still alone. But he still didn't know how that made him feel.

Sighing he sat and watched as the sun sank below the horizon and plunged the world into an eerie grey light. The woods around him was alive with sights and sounds and he shuddered when he heard a wolf howling in the distance.

He contemplated going inside, but in the end, he decided he was just too tired to move, so he closed his eyes and fell into a deeply troubled sleep.

oOo

It had been an incredibly long day and Carson was glad to be heading home. This morning he had started out conducting a vaccination clinic in the town square and that had taken most of the day. Red spot was a simple childhood disease in the Pegasus galaxy and there had been a recent outbreak in one of the other villages, so the elders of this village had asked him to vaccinate the younger children against it – Atlantis had developed a vaccine when there had been an outbreak in the city a few years ago. The task had taken most of the morning and just when he was about to head home one of the young women went into labour, so he had spent the afternoon and evening delivering her twins. Once he was sure that she was going to be okay and she had people to look after her, he had decided to head home.

His house wasn't far, but the night was dark and the moon hadn't risen as yet, so he was wary of every sound that he heard. Although the amount of time he'd spent off-world with Sheppard and his team there was no way he should be afraid, there were only a few small animals and insects in these woods after all – well that's what he kept telling himself anyway.

As he approached his cabin, he noticed a dark shape in one of the chairs on his veranda and his first thought was that someone was waiting for him because they needed medical attention. He slowly approached the dark shape not wanting to startle whoever it was, as he got closer the first thing, he noticed was the messy hair and he immediately knew who it was, although he wondered why John Sheppard would be visiting him this late at night. Sighing he gently shook his friend knowing that it could go one of two ways – John could wake with a start and either punch him or pull a weapon on him, or he would awaken slowly, he was hoping for the latter.

Relief swept over him when John slowly opened his eyes and smiled at him – at least he thought he was smiling at him, but he couldn't be sure as the moon was only just rising and not giving off much light.

"Hey, doc good to see you again."

John's greeting still gave him no idea why he was here, so he smiled back and asked patiently, "Colonel Sheppard what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, doc."

Carson knew without a doubt that Sheppard wanted to talk to him about something as there is no way he would come to see him for any other reason. Although he wondered why the man didn't just speak to the base phycologist Dr Robinson, or maybe one of his team.

Sighing, he opened his door and entered his cabin indicating that John should follow, "why don't you come inside Colonel, I was just about to have a wee glass of whiskey and a meal."

"Thanks, Doc," John said with a lopsided grin on his face.

Once they were inside, he went straight to his cupboard and pulled out a couple of glasses and a bottle of scotch that Sheppard had given him for his last birthday.

He poured two large glasses because by the time Sheppard got around to telling him what he came here for they would need it. Getting anything out of John Sheppard was like getting blood out of a stone and one good way to get him to open up was to give him a stiff drink or two. When he was on duty he rarely drank, but now he was obviously off duty, so now was as good a time as any to get him to loosen up.

Placing the glass in John's hand he sat in the armchair opposite him and stared at him waiting for his friend to talk.

oOo

It was night-time on Atlantis and Teyla was beginning to worry, as she hadn't seen John all day. When she had spoken to him at breakfast, he had seemed a little distant, but she had assumed that he'd had a lot on his plate. He was supposed to meet up with her and Torren for lunch, but he hadn't shown, and Torren was extremely upset, he always missed John when he wasn't around. When she'd asked Ronon where he was the big man had merely shrugged his shoulders.

Come to think of it Ronon seemed fairly distracted as well. She could only assume that was because he was on his way to the planet where a group of Satedans were beginning to settle – it had been named New Sateda. She knew that Ronon was considering settling there and he had asked Amelia to go with him. When Teyla had asked him about it, he had told her that he was considering it because New Sateda would need to set up a military at some point, but he hadn't made up his mind yet.

She knew where he was coming from because she was considering going back to be with her own people. Kanaan hated being on Atlantis and when they had arrived back in the Pegasus galaxy, he had asked her to go and live on New Athos with him. She hadn't decided yet either. Atlantis was her home and as much as she loved her own culture, she wanted to raise Torren on Atlantis, and give him every opportunity that it had to offer him. She hadn't had that discussion with Kanaan yet and she feared that it wouldn't go well.

Perhaps John was distracted by the fact that she and Ronon had been talking about leaving Atlantis. Rodney didn't seem to leave his lab these days either – unless he was hanging out with Doc Keller. Maybe John was afraid that the team was breaking up and he would be left without a family – not that he'd admit it.

A few minutes she found herself outside of Woolsey's office hoping that he would be able to tell her where John was. She assumed that he was in there because he always worked late and looking at the pile of paperwork on his desk, she assumed that it was going to be a long night for him.

"Excuse me Mr Woosley may I have a word?" She asked walking right in.

For a moment he didn't look up, so she wondered if he'd heard her. Just when she was about to repeat her question he looked up and her and smiled.

"Teyla what can I do for you this evening?"

"I have not seen Colonel Sheppard all day and I was wondering if you knew where he was?"

Woolsey sighed as he answered, and she immediately knew that he knew where John was.

"Colonel Sheppard has requested a couple of days off to take care of some personal business."

"Can you tell me where he went?"

"I'm sorry Teyla, but he has asked me not to tell anyone where he is. Although he wanted me to tell you not to worry and he'll be back soon."

Nodding she smiled at Woolsey and immediately left his office. It was dinner time and she decided to head to the mess hall to see if Rodney and Jennifer were there. Torren was on New Athos with Kanaan for a few days, so for the moment, she didn't have much to do.

oOo

Downing the glass of whiskey that Carson had given him John tried to get the courage to talk to his friend. It was never easy for him to open up about his feelings and along with his team, Carson was the only other person he felt comfortable talking with.

"Umm…Carson, this is a nice place you have here." Okay, so not such a brilliant beginning.

"You've been here before, so why don't you just tell me what's bothering you, John?" Carson asked before filling their glasses up again.

Taking a deep breath he tried again, "everyone wants to leave Atlantis." There he'd said it and he hadn't sounded like a complete idiot.

He sat watching the doctor waiting for a response, he had no idea what Carson would think as Carson was one of his first friends to leave the city – although the doctor was a clone, and it wasn't the original Carson Beckett he never thought of him as anything else but his doctor and friend.

"Why don't you tell me exactly what's going on and why it bothers you?"

Wow Carson's good, but I don't remember him having a psychology degree, he thought before trying to tell his friend something.

"Well, Umm…Teyla wants to go back to New Athos with Torren and Kanaan and Umm…Ronon is thinking of going to live on a planet where there is a lot of surviving Satedans settling and he's asked Amelia Banks to go with him. Even Woolsey's thinking about quitting and heading back to earth."

"And what about Rodney?"

"He's way too busy in his lab and when he's not working, he's hanging out with Doctor Keller."

Carson nodded and made a few indistinct noises, and he had no idea what the man might be thinking. He found out about a minute later when the Doctor opened his mouth.

"Are you sure that's all that's bothering you, John?"

He furrowed his brow and looked at his friend, "What do you mean Doc?"

"Is it possible that you are upset that your friends are moving on with their lives and you aren't?"

John hadn't had anywhere near enough whiskey for this conversation, so he decided that it was about time to change the subject, "so Doc, what are we doing tomorrow? I have two days' leave so I thought that I might as well hang around here for a while."

He could see that Carson wanted to delve a bit deeper, into what was bothering him, but he was finished with the conversation for now. Carson however seemed to want to have the last word.

"I suggest you talk to them and let them know how you're feeling."

"Maybe I will, but you still haven't answered my question."

"Well tomorrow morning I have to visit a few patients, but in the afternoon I'm free, so how about I show you the local fishing hole."

Great, he really hated fishing, but then he knew how much Carson loved it, so if he wanted to hang out with him, he may as well go fishing. He would have preferred to go hunting himself. Thinking about going fishing, brought back painful memories of that fateful day when they had lost Carson Beckett and Rodney in particular had felt guilty for a long time for not going fishing with the good doc that day. Eventually, the scientist had gotten over it, but in one of the rare times that Rodney had spoken to John about his feelings, he had expressed the guilt he still felt at times.

Suddenly he felt hungry and tired – although he could have been slightly drunk, "So Carson, I think I've had enough whiskey for tonight, how about some food?"

"I've had some stew on the fire since I've been home. Would you like some?"

"Sound's good to me, what kind of meat is it?"

"I'm not really sure," Cason answered with a smile, "it's something that tastes like chicken. I have some white wine that one of my customers paid me with last week as well. I haven't tried it yet as there is no way I can drink a bottle by myself."

Two glasses of whiskey and half a bottle of wine, it's a good thing he didn't have to get up for work tomorrow because he had a feeling that he was going to be sleeping late.

"Sure doc, but perhaps you should tell me now where I'm sleeping."

"Well, the couch you are sitting on folds out into a bed and I can get you some blankets if you need them."

The rest of the evening went by in a blur for John, he definitely found himself getting drunk and he wondered how much of a hangover he would have in the morning. The chicken-type stew was good, but the wine left a lot to be desired – although it had a powerful kick to it. At some point, he managed to pull the couch out and make it into a bed before he tumbled into it. He noticed that as the night went on Carson's speech seemed to be getting slurred and he was making less sense. Eventually, Carson finally crashed into his bed allowing him to go to bed himself.

When he finally climbed into bed he sighed as his head hit the pillow, he still had no idea what to do about all of his friends wanting to leave Atlantis, but at least he'd had a fun evening with one of his closest friends.

oOo

Bang, Bang, Bang, was the sound that greeted Carson the next morning and for a moment he thought it was the pounding in his head due to an excess of alcohol. The bashing sound continued and this time he realised that someone was trying to bash his front door down. He looked over at John and realised that he was still asleep, so rather than disturb him by letting the banging continue, he got out of bed and walked to the door – luckily, he still had his clothes on from the night before.

"Hang on, I'm coming, he shouted at the door."

When he finally opened the door, he was surprised to find that Rodney was standing there.

Seeing him there left them with a sense of bewilderment, "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Sheppard, I really need to see him?"

Before he had a chance to answer Rodney, John's voice came from inside his cabin, and it sounded weary. Chances are John felt as bad as he did.

"I'm here Rodney and right now I'm on vacation, so I don't want to talk to you."

"Sheppard thank God, I need you in the lab this morning and Teyla's looking for you as well."

John's eyes narrowed as he came through the door and stood beside him, and Cason wondered if his friend had a headache, or he didn't want to talk to the scientist.

"Look McKay, I am on leave, so I will not be coming to help you in your lab, and can you please tell Teyla that I will talk to her when I get back, "John paused for a moment before continuing, "how did you know where I was anyway? I told Woolsey not to tell you where I was going."

"I just took a guess, and it looks like I'm right."

Carson could sense that his friend was becoming agitated as he answered the annoying scientist.

"Well, how about you head back to Atlantis and don't tell anyone else where I am? If I find out that you have, I will get Ronon to shoot you."

Cason could sense an argument coming on, so he pushed John back into the cabin and stepped out through the door and closed it behind him, leaving John inside on his own.

"Okay Rodney, Colonel Sheppard has asked you to leave, so I suggest that you leave him alone for a few days so that he can have a rest."

"What's his problem anyway, he looks a bit hung over?"

He was beginning to get frustrated himself by this point, not to mention the headache he'd woken up with that morning, "how about you head back to Atlantis now and I will see you later."

He was relieved when Rodney left because the last thing his head needed now was to shout. Once he was sure the scientist was out of sight, he went back inside to get a cup of coffee and a couple of Tylenol.

The first thing he noticed when he entered was that Sheppard was sprawled out on his bed fast asleep, so it was probably a good thing that he didn't have time to go back to bed.

After he had finished his coffee, he left his little house and headed off to check on his first patient – the young woman with twins. For the moment he didn't feel too bad, but he had no idea how he would be feeling later. The thought of going fishing with one of his closest friends gave him something to look forward to, so perhaps he would feel fine.

oOo

The next time John became aware, he felt absolutely terrible, his head was pounding, he felt nauseous, his mouth was as dry as a desert and for some reason, his right ankle hurt, he had no idea why and he certainly didn't remember spraining or twisting it. At that moment he instantly regretted his overindulgence from the night before, but he didn't remember drinking that much. In fact, he only drank the same amount as Carson and the doctor had been fine that morning.

Looking around the cabin he soon realised that he was alone, and he was on Carson's bed. He vaguely remembered telling Rodney to go away when he was last awake, but he didn't remember how he ended up in Carson's bed or him leaving the Cabin.

If he was going to be honest with himself, he should probably talk to his friends and tell them how he was feeling. Perhaps he should find out about their lives and be happy for them. Maybe he'd talk to them when he got back, but right now, he was just too tired, hot, and sore to care, so he rolled over, closed his eyes, and fell into a troubled sleep.

oOo

Teyla was sitting in the mess hall enjoying her lunch and the view when a loud voice interrupted her contemplations. She had a lot on her mind and some big decisions to make, so she wasn't impressed by the interruption.

"Hey Teyla, I know where Sheppard is."

Looking up at Rodney she took in his appearance, he looked as if he had been running as he seemed short of breath and red in the face.

Putting a smile on her face she spoke with as much patience as she could muster, "and where might that be?"

"I can't tell you because Sheppard doesn't want us to know."

She was becoming frustrated with the conversation now and wanted to be left alone, "well in that case do not tell me and I will respect his privacy."

Rodney just stared at her and she could sense that he really wanted to tell her where John was, so she was relieved a minute later when Jennifer came up to the table.

"Rodney, would you like to get some lunch to share in my quarters?" She turned to look at Teyla before continuing, "unless you want some company?"

"Do not worry about me Jennifer I am happy to sit here alone for a bit longer."

"Alright, I'll see you later then."

She nodded at Jennifer as the doctor dragged Rodney away and she was happy to be left alone with her thoughts. Now was the time she needed to decide whether she would be going back to live on New Athos with Kanaan or not since he was due back from New Athos tomorrow morning and he was going to want an answer as to whether she was moving to New Athos or staying on Atlantis.

oOo

Carson was relieved when he finally made it back to his cabin. The morning had gone well, and he had visited all of his patients in record time. Other than a slight headache he felt remarkably well considering his overindulgence the night before. There was some leftover stew to share with John for lunch and then he was looking forward to going fishing with his friend. John had never been fishing with him, so he was excited to tell him everything he knew about the sport – although Sheppard had never thought of it as a sport.

The first thing he needed to do though, was contact Atlantis for some more medical supplies.

Opening the door, he expected John to be up and around.

"Colonel I'm back," he called as he entered the room.

There was no answer, and he was surprised to see that Sheppard was still fast asleep on his bed. The man never slept late unless he was sick or injured, so he immediately suspected that something was wrong – and it wasn't a hangover.

His suspicions were confirmed when he approached the bed, he could see that his friend had minute tremors running through his body and he looked incredibly pale. He put his hand on John's shoulders and he could instantly feel the heat radiating off him.

"John," he whispered while shaking him.

There was still no response, so he shook him a bit harder, and this time John opened his eyes to slits and moaned.

"John are you alright?"

"Don't feel so good doc."

"Can you tell me what hurts?"

"Stomach, back, neck and for some reason, my right ankle really hurts."

Carson was beginning to develop a theory and if it was correct, he needed to contact Atlantis immediately.

He was about to look at John's ankle when the colonel started to gag, so he quickly found a bowl and helped him sit up and shoved it under his chin – just in time. Once John had finished heaving, he gently lay him back down.

A weak whisper came from the bed, "not just a hangover doc."

"No, I don't think so I'm going to look at your ankle to confirm a theory."

He looked down at his friend and realised that he'd lost consciousness again and if his assumption were right, he knew that he needed to act fast, or John could slip into a coma or possibly die.

As he looked at his friend's ankle his suspicions were immediately confirmed because sitting beside his foot was a giant black spider – luckily, it appeared to be dead. It was obvious that it had bitten John as in the middle of an extremely swollen ankle were two bite marks. The venom acted in a similar way to a black widow spider, the difference being it took longer to kill a person.

The first thing he did was to poke the spider with a stick, just to make sure that it was dead and much to his relief it was. So, he picked it up in a specimen jar and threw it outside his cabin.

This spider was common throughout the Pegasus galaxy, so Atlantis kept stocks of anti-venom. He usually kept some in his cabin as well, but he had used the last of it a few days before and that was one of the things that he needed Atlantis to send him.

At that moment he was angry with himself for not contacting Atlantis sooner, but he knew that right now he didn't really have time to berate himself. Somehow, he needed to get to the gate and contact Atlantis, and it needed to be sooner rather than later as given the state John was in, he estimated that he needed the anti-venom within the next hour or so, or he may not survive. If he walked quickly, he could probably reach the gate in half an hour, but he didn't really want to leave John alone.

He knew that he didn't have much of a choice, so before he went, he took out a compression bandage and tightly wrapped John's ankle, causing him to moan in pain. He then went about setting up an IV knowing that it was probably a good idea to get some fluids into him.

"John lad, I'm going to have to go to the gate."

There was no response, so he placed a cold cloth on his friend's forehead and left his cabin where he got the biggest surprise of his life – Ronon was standing outside.

"Hey doc where's Sheppard, Teyla wants to speak to him, so, do I?"

"Ronon I'm so glad that you're here, Colonel Sheppard has been bitten by a spider and I need you to get back to the gate and contact Atlantis. Tell them to send a jumper and we need the antivenom for the Chaco spider. Please be quick as John doesn't have much time.

Ronon stared at him for a minute and then he took off at a run. He knew that the runner could get to the gate in half the time that it would take him and within half an hour a jumper would be here. As much as John probably wouldn't want to go back to Atlantis, Carson knew that the infirmary was the best place for him to recuperate.

Sighing, he quickly walked back into the cabin to find that Sheppard was thrashing about in the bed. He desperately wanted to give him something for the pain that he was in, but until the spider venom was eliminated from his system it was too dangerous.

After a minute or two, Sheppard seemed to settle down and Carson was relieved, although another thought struck him at that moment – he wondered if John would ever wake up.

Shaking his head to get rid of any negative thoughts he put another cold compress on John's head and took his temperature. He was surprised to find that it was holding at 102 degrees, not as low as he would have liked, but not as high as it could have been.

Ronon was on the way to the gate and hopefully help would be here in half an hour, so all he could do now was sit and take care of his patient the best he could.

oOo

A shooting pain shot through John's right leg and his body arched off the bed causing him pain, unlike he'd ever felt before – okay perhaps not as bad as being fed on by a wraith or an Iratus bug, but it was intense, and he was in agony. He could feel sweat dripping down his face, and he felt incredibly hot. He felt nauseous and he hoped that he wasn't about to lose his stomach contents, because he knew that it would probably cause him more pain.

Considering the excruciating waves of pain that were consuming his body, he was surprised that he had anything that resembled a conscious thought. Slowly as he became more aware he heard a soft lilting voice talking to him and he instantly recognised it as Carson's.

"Don't worry Lad we're just about to move you to the jumper. We have given you the anti-venom for the spider bite you received, and you should be feeling better within a few hours."

A spider bite, the last thing he remembered was passing out on Carson's bed after Rodney had been there. He was about to question the doctor when he noticed something covering his mouth and nose, he tried to put his hand up to his face to remove it, but he just felt too weak, and his hand dropped to the bed.

A small hand took hold of his hand and a face came into view and for the first time, he realised that he'd actually opened his eyes.

"Teyla," he whispered, and he wondered if he was hallucinating.

"Yes, John I am here, as are Rodney and Ronon."

He tried to look around the cabin, but it was just too painful, so he was relieved when Rodney and Ronon came to stand beside him.

"We're here Sheppard," Rodney told him with a smile.

"Go back to sleep Sheppard, we'll be with you when you wake up," Ronon mumbled as he put a firm hand on his shoulder.

For the moment, his team was with him, and everything felt right with the world, so he gave into the darkness that had been threatening to overwhelm him for the last five minutes.

oOo

Teyla watched as her friend lost consciousness again and that was the moment that she made her decision – she couldn't leave Atlantis or her team. Rodney and Ronon had become the annoying brothers that she'd never had and John – well she couldn't exactly say what she thought of him. He definitely wasn't like a brother; he was her best friend and perhaps she was hoping that their relationship could develop into something more.

Kanaan was due back from New Athos in the morning and she knew that she needed to let him know how she was genuinely feeling and if that meant that they could no longer be a couple then so be it. Kanaan would always be one of her dearest friends and they shared a son, but that was all it ever was.

A voice interrupted her contemplations and when she looked up Carson was looking down at her, "I am sorry Doctor Beckett, but I did not hear you?"

"I said that we're ready to move Colonel Sheppard now."

"How is he?" She asked with fear.

"He's stable for now and barring any complications, he should be fine in a few days."

"That is wonderful news, Carson."

She stood and watched as Carson and Ronon carried John's stretcher out the door relieved that John was going to recover yet again.

oOo

A loud rumbling sound invaded his senses the next time he became aware, and his first thought was why was there a freight train in his room. The Next thing he heard was a tapping sound beside him and he instantly knew that Rodney was in the room with him. If McKay was in the room with him then there was a good bet that the freight train, he heard was Ronon snoring – he often wondered how Ronon had evaded the wraith for so long if he snored so loudly.

Suddenly a shooting pain run through his right leg, and he had no choice but to open his eyes to try and get someone's attention. He tried calling out to one of his friends, but all that came out was a strangled moan.

Rodney jumped off the chair he was sitting on and ran out of the room, and he wondered what he'd done to offend him – all he was doing was lying in a bed. Looking at his surroundings it didn't take him long to realise that he was in the infirmary – yet again. Ronon appeared to still be asleep, so he decided to leave him that way since for the moment he seemed to have stopped snoring.

He had a vague recollection of visiting Carson and drinking a bottle of whiskey and wine with him, but after that things were a little hazy. He was sure that someone had mentioned a spider bite at some point though.

A loud voice interrupted his contemplations and he wished that Carson would speak a little quieter as he had one almighty headache. The pain in his right leg had subsided a little, so at least his head was the only thing that hurt right now.

"How are you feeling Colonel?"

"Headache…" He whispered hoping that he could get some relief from it soon.

By this time Ronon had awoken and John tried to track his movements, but a wave of dizziness overcame him, and he had to close his eyes again.

"I'll catch you later Sheppard," Ronon muttered and for a moment he felt his friend's big hand on his shoulder.

"Now, Colonel, do you remember what happened to you?"

He looked up at Carson and furrowed his brow, "Spider bite."

"Yes, a Chaco spider bit you. They are a common spider in the galaxy, so Atlantis developed an anti-venom a few years ago. The bite can be deadly, but luckily, we got the anti-venom to you in time."

Slowly he nodded his head, he was aware of the spider, but he had never seen one. Just another bug that wants to kill me, although technically spiders are arachnids, he thought with a sigh.

"Are you alright Colonel Sheppard, you seem to have zoned out for a minute or two?"

"Huh?"

"I said are you alright?"

"How long have I been back Carson?"

"Around twenty-four hours." Carson looked at him with compassion before continuing," do you need something for the headache lad?"

"That'd be great doc and why's my right ankle so sore?"

"There's still some swelling and bruising around the bite site, but that should settle down in a week or so."

Suddenly he felt his eyelids drooping and he was relieved when he felt Carson put something into his IV. He heard the doctor walk away a minute later and as the pain in his head began to dissipate, he was happy to fall into a deep sleep.

The next time he awoke, he was surprised to see that Jennifer was taking his vitals, "where's Carson?"

"He had to go back home – something about one of his patients just having had twins."

Looking around the infirmary he realised that none of his team was with him either and considering he felt much better than he did the last time he awoke, – other than an incredibly sore ankle, which was bandaged and placed on a large pillow – he thought that it was as good as time as any to talk to his team.

"How'm I doing doc?"

"You're doing well. In fact, you're doing so well that I was thinking of releasing you to your quarters in the morning. Your ankle is still swollen and will probably be sore for a while, so you may want to stay off it as much as possible, so I'll give you some crutches when you leave."

Having to use crutches wasn't the worst thing in the world so he decided that he wouldn't argue with the doctor, especially since all he wanted to do right now was talk to his team.

"Are you in any pain Colonel?" Jennifer asked interrupting his thoughts.

"Nah, I'm fine, so can you please find my team and send them in?"

A smile crossed the doctor's face as she answered, "no problems Colonel they are just outside, for some reason I am finding it difficult to get rid of them."

John closed his eyes and waited for his team wondering what he was going to say to them. He knew that he should be happy for them, whatever they decided to do with their lives, but there was still a big part of him that wanted to run away and sulk.

"Ahh... Sheppard, you're finally awake for more than a few minutes," Rodney said stating the obvious as he walked into the room, "what was the thing with wanting to visit Carson without us anyway?"

"Rodney please quieten down and let Colonel Sheppard speak?" Teyla said trying to placate the agitated scientist.

Smiling at Teyla to let her know how grateful he was, he tried to begin, "Umm…guys, Umm…the reason I went to see Carson was that Ronon and Teyla you were talking about leaving Atlantis and Rodney you were spending so much time in your lab, or with Keller that I was beginning to feel lonely. I want to be happy for you guys' whatever decision you make, it's just that you're my family and I don't want to lose you."

Wow did I really say that? It sounded way too mushy and now everyone is going to think that I am one big baby. He thought while he was waiting for a comment from his friends.

He felt Teyla's hand in his, so he turned to look at her and a look of understanding crossed her face, "John you do not need to worry, I have decided to stay on Atlantis because it is my home, and my family is here and it is the place where I want to raise my son."

Well, that was certainly good news the only problem was what was Kanaan going to do? "What about Kanaan?" He asked with apprehension.

"Kanaan and I have decided to go our separate ways, as he does not wish to stay on Atlantis. I do not believe that we were meant to be together, we are just two friends who became something more for a while and we share a son."

Slowly he nodded his head, and turned to Ronon, "what about you Chewie, what's happening in your life?"

"Don't worry Sheppard, I've decided to stay on Atlantis for the time being. Amelia is not ready to leave Atlantis at the moment and I won't leave without her."

He smiled at his big friend with a twinkle in his eye, "so you and Banks."

"Yeah, I love to spar with her, and she's been showing me her kickboxing moves."

"Well, you know what Ronon, I'm happy for you."

Right, one more team member to address and he'd be glad when it was all over because the conversation was getting way too sappy.

"So, Rodney, you and Keller."

Rodney looked awkward as he answered, "Well I guess I enjoy her company and she's a genius in her own right."

He looked around at his team – his family – and decided that it was time to end the conversation because he was beginning to feel tired again. Jennifer had told him that he would probably feel fatigued for a week or two, but eventually, he should be back to one hundred percent health.

Teyla must have sensed how he was feeling because she instructed the others to leave him alone, "I do believe that Colonel Sheppard needs his rest."

Rather than leave Rodney pulled up a chair beside his bed and Ronon sat on a chair with his feet up on the end of the bed. Teyla bent down and shocked him by kissing him on the cheek and then she pulled up a chair beside Rodney.

"Go back to sleep John," Teyla suggested, "and we will all be here when you awake."

He had no problem taking her advice because his eyes were beginning to droop. For the moment everything was right in his world, his friends were with him, and they had decided to stay on Atlantis. He had no idea whether that may change in the future or not, but for now, he was content, and it wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep.

Fin…

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