(PoA) CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Cat, Wolf, Dogs, and Fred
"We've got to show Albus," Lupin said as soon as they returned to Dumbledore's office. His face was white, and his eyes were wide. "After all this time… oh, forgive me, my old friend…"
But Ellie wasn't quite so sure about any of it. "I don't understand. What am I missing? Why does he think Peter is still alive?"
"Don't you see?" asked Lupin, grabbing her sharply by the shoulders with a hint of the very mania she had just seen in her father. "He's an Animagus, Ellie. They did it together—Sirius, Peter, and James—all in support of me, so that I wouldn't have to be alone on the full moons."
"An Animagus," she repeated, struggling to keep up. "So, you mean…"
"He cut off his own finger, and shifted as soon as the blast went out. Scurried into the sewers, no doubt."
"Scurried? What was his Animagus form, exactly?"
"A rat."
Ellie processed this information for several seconds before swallowing. "I don't want to tell Dumbledore without first checking with Dad."
Lupin seemed to do a double-take upon hearing her use of the word, and for the first time since she'd brought him to Dumbledore's, he smiled. "Makes me feel quite old, you know. Seeing you and Harry here at Hogwarts—the children of my best friends'."
She laughed. "Well, you all looked quite young in the memories he showed me. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been—knowing that Voldemort was out there all that time—knowing that it was up to you to fight him."
"I think you'd be able to imagine a bit more than you give yourself credit for," Lupin told her with a gentle smile. "Well, then—when shall we go and see him?"
"Tomorrow," she said a little too quickly. "Let's go tomorrow."
When she returned to the common room that night, Harry approached her.
"Ellie," he said. "D'you think we could… talk? One-on-one?"
They were long overdue for that, she reckoned with a grim smile as she nodded. "Of course."
It wasn't quite past curfew yet, so they climbed back out the portrait hole and into the hall, settling against the railing further down the hall from the Gryffindor Tower.
"I can't help feeling like there's something you aren't telling me," Harry admitted when they came to a stop.
Ellie bit her lip as the guilt consumed her. Harry deserved to know all that she was learning; so much of it directly affected him. Of all her friends, he was the one whose confusing upbringing and constant search for answers most closely resembled her own; how could she keep him in the dark like this?
"Look," she said, clearing her throat. She had to give him something, even if she couldn't give him everything. "Knowing that my dad's out there somewhere—knowing that he isn't locked up anymore—it's killing me, Harry. It's all I can think about."
His expression softened at that, but she tried not to notice. The last thing she deserved was his pity. "I get that, Ellie. But I can help. I can—"
"This quest for answers," she interrupted, "it's… it's something I have to do alone. He's a wanted man—the most wanted man. Involving anyone else is too risky—too dangerous."
But Harry wasn't buying it. "Since when have you or I cared what was too risky or too dangerous? Let me help you, Ellie. Let me—"
"Harry." She forced herself to look into his eyes. She hoped that he could see the silent plea in hers, not just the cold, firm resolution. "I'll involve you when I'm ready. Okay? But for now, I just can't."
For several seconds, he didn't say anything at all. She even thought, with a twinge of panic, that he might end things with her then and there—too hurt carry on.
But then he nodded. "Fine, then—when you're ready."
And he walked away from her.
"Maybe I should just tell him," Ellie said to Fred late that night in the common room. "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad."
"You've already told Lupin," Fred pointed out. She had just filled him in on everything, including the memories about the Secret-Keeper switch-up and Lupin's involvement. "Exactly how many people are you planning on telling?"
"As many as I think will believe him," she shot back, suddenly feeling surprisingly hostile. "He's innocent, Fred. Why shouldn't people know it?"
"They should," he agreed. "And they will, I'd wager, when whatever his secret reason for being here comes into play. You said Pettigrew's still alive, right? Here at Hogwarts somewhere? I'd reckon Sirius is planning on capturing him to prove his own innocence."
She'd more or less come to the same conclusion herself. "I don't understand why he isn't involving me. I could help him. I could—"
"Because you're his daughter, and he loves you. And he doesn't want you trying to imprison the very bloke who murdered twelve people and was responsible for Harry's parents' deaths. Nor do I, for that matter."
She sighed, slumping over to rest her head on his shoulder. "I just want all this to be over, Fred. I want everyone to know the truth about him."
"Right." His tone was surprisingly cold. "Especially Harry."
"Of course, especially Harry. He's my boyfriend."
But to that, Fred didn't say anything at all.
Fred insisted on joining her and Lupin to visit Sirius the following night. Ellie had given Lupin a rough meeting place before departing his class on Friday evening.
"Fred," said Lupin in surprise when she and Fred landed in front of him on their broomsticks. "This is a bit of a surprise."
"Yeah, yeah," said Fred grumpily. "You were expecting Harry, I'm sure."
Lupin glanced at Ellie, looking rather amused. "Actually, I wasn't expecting anyone but Ellie. But I'm glad to see she isn't alone in this."
He followed her and Fred to Sirius' hidden pit, where they found Sirius waiting inside in his dog form along with Crookshanks, Hermione's fluffy, orange cat. As soon as Sirius changed into his human form, Crookshanks darted up and out of the pit.
"Odd," said Fred as he watched the cat leave. "Isn't that Hermione's cat?"
But Ellie's attention had already diverted to her father's gaze, which was shining with nostalgia and love at the sight of his old friend.
"Forgive me, Sirius," Lupin said as he dropped into the pit. "For everything."
"Forgiven," said Sirius, and the friends joined in a tight, warm hug.
Ellie and Fred, who had just finished dropping into the pit, exchanged their own smiles at that; it reminded her all too much of their own hugs, and he seemed to agree.
"You watched them, then?" Sirius asked Ellie and Lupin.
She nodded. "We went together. He was able to explain the bits I didn't understand."
"Tell me, Sirius," said Lupin urgently. "What can we do to help you, my friend? Ellie says you believe Peter to be hiding out here at Hogwarts?"
But Sirius' expression shifted to the same, dark resolution that it did every time Ellie asked him the same question, and he shook his head. "I'll handle him."
Lupin looked frustrated by that, but seemed to sense that Sirius wouldn't say anything more in front of Ellie. She had a feeling that Lupin would be returning to this pit without her at least a few times.
"Dad," she said carefully. "Do you still think it's too risky for me to involve Harry in all this?"
Sirius frowned at that, looking reluctant. "The last thing I want is for you to have to lie to your… boyfriend—" he seemed not to care for the word in conjunction with his daughter "—on my account, Ellie. But I am hesitant to share my story with anyone else until I can collect Peter and prove myself innocent."
"But don't your memories prove you innocent?" asked Ellie. "If we showed them to Dumbledore—"
"Memories can be tampered with, and I would have had twelve years in Azkaban to come up with the perfect way to do so. That's how they'll see it, anyway."
"Right." She bit her lip. She had bought some time with Harry, at least—though it hadn't exactly gone well. "So we just… wait."
"Try not to worry about me, Ellie," Sirius told her gently. "About any of this. You have a birthday coming up, don't you? Fourteen, if I'm not mistaken?"
"Don't tell Oliver Wood that," muttered Fred. Sirius glanced curiously at him, but Ellie shoved him hard, warning him not to go further.
Sirius watched Fred and Ellie in silence for a moment, seeming to be thinking not about what Fred had just said, but about them specifically. "Odd, isn't it?" he asked thoughtfully. "The two of you being so close, when Fred had a twin and Ellie's two years younger?"
Ellie blinked, not entirely sure how to answer that. To her surprise, Fred didn't seem to have any difficulty. "Actually, I don't think it's odd at all, sir. In fact, lately, it's the only thing that seems to make any sense to me at all."
In the weeks leading up to Halloween and Ellie's birthday, Ellie visited Sirius several times, bringing him food, clothes, and even games and gadgets designed by Fred and George. Ellie also brought him parchment, quills, and ink, encouraging him to document his experiences in as much detail as he could.
Despite his obvious frustration with being hunted and his hunger to capture Peter, Sirius maintained a warm, fatherly attitude toward Ellie whenever she was around. He seemed to love asking her questions and watching with rapt attention as she answered them.
Any time she visited him without Fred, he asked her about him. To her surprise, he seemed more interested in Fred than in Harry, his own godson.
"Why do you ask me about Fred so often?" she asked him one night a few days before her birthday. "I mean, you see him all the time, don't you?"
Sirius shrugged as he nibbled on a rather disgusting-looking Bertie Botts bean. "He intrigues me—as does your relationship with him."
"My friendship with him, you mean."
Sirius chewed silently for a moment, then straightened. "Tell me, Ellie—what made you decide to start dating Harry in the first place?"
What kind of a question was that? "I… I don't know. He made me feel… safe, I guess."
"Does Fred not make you feel safe?"
"Of course, he does. He just…" She trailed off, blinking at her father in confusion. "What does Fred have to do with Harry?"
"I haven't yet met Harry, or seen you together, save for a certain midnight kiss in my ex's backyard," said Sirius with a bit of a pointed look. "But seeing the way you are with Fred, Ellie… It's hard for me to imagine that you could love anyone more than you love him."
"Yeah, but that's friendship love. It's different."
"Is it, though?"
She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Sirius had only seen her and Fred together a handful of times; was this what the rest of the world thought, who saw them together every day? Was this what Harry thought?
She had never shared her feelings for Fred with anyone before. Being able to talk about them here, now, with Sirius… It certainly wasn't easy, but it was nice.
"Fred doesn't want to be with me," she finally said. "We talked about it last year."
"Well, you were twelve last year," Sirius pointed out. "Far too young to be dating anyone—not that you aren't still too young to be dating anyone. Perhaps Fred is simply the only gentleman in the room."
"Harry's a gentleman," she said a little too quickly. "And I'd know if Fred had feelings for me, Dad. Wouldn't I?"
Sirius actually laughed at that. "Ellie, that boy has more feelings for you in his little finger than most people have for their husbands and wives in their whole bodies."
It shouldn't feel so good to hear him say it. It wasn't fair to Harry; it wasn't fair to anyone.
But it did feel good. It felt like the greatest news she had ever heard.
"And me?" she heard herself ask. "If you're such an expert, can you tell me if I have feelings for him, too?"
His grey eyes softened at that, and he smiled. "Of course you do, Ellie. But you already knew that."
What do you think - is Ellie officially encroaching on bad girlfriend/must break up with Harry territory? Already there? Still in the clear? Tell me in a review... and then get ready for "Fourteen Candles," which will cover - you guessed it - Ellie's birthday!
