Thanks to wackus-bonkus for betaing! Incidentally, this is based off of her work "one does not love breathing" as well as Pearl484's fic "Shadow of the Chat".
So this is an AU for wackus-bonkus's "one does not love breathing", because dammit I NEED ADRIEN TO BE OKAY. I know he will be safe and happy and free and with his friends eventually, but the wait is killing me! And I don't think I'm the only one. So I wrote this little fic to tide me over until things are resolved in the actual fic.
Pearl484's "Shadow of the Chat" got my mental gears turning, as I thought how that fic, if crossed over with "one does not love breathing", could help fix things. Basically in that universe, the Black Cat holder has their "shadow" come to life. It's based off of Jungian psychology, with the Shadow being the repressed, unacknowledged parts of the self. If you've played the Persona games, you're familiar with the concept.
Anyway, Shadow causes a lot of trouble, being very rude and mean to Ladybug, but also saying some things that needed to be said, like pointing out how Ladybug had let other people know each other's identities and not told Chat Noir, leading to her actually talking with Chat about things. He also was very protective of Chat in general, even if he didn't know exactly how to help, making so much fuss about Chat needing some sort of medication that an exasperated Ladybug took him to a psychiatrist just to stop Shadow from breaking into places and trying to get some random medication for him in the hope it would help, only to find, to her shock, that Chat Noir had depression. After that she began to take Shadow more seriously and value him more, even if he didn't always have the best way of drawing attention to the problems Chat Noir was having. It's a great fic and at only 3700 words, I highly recommend reading it yourself.
Both the fics are on AO3, btw.
Shadow didn't see it coming.
He hadn't even been fighting—while he was willing to defend Adrien however he could, he didn't have his creator's raw power.
But wherever Chat Noir went, he did as well. Which meant he was on the battlefield. And that when Chat Noir rushed to tackle Ladybug out of the way of a hit, well… his creator got clear of the akuma's blast.
He, however, did not.
Shadow found himself getting pulled through some interdimensional tube to who-knows-where.
He winced, feeling his bond with Adrien strain, pull, and finally—
*SNAP*
Placidly, he looked down as his body started to disintegrate, globs of shadow pulling apart, his form barely holding together.
He felt absolutely nothing about this. Only a raw, aching emptiness.
A ring of light opened up beneath him, abruptly depositing him onto unmoving ground. The vacuum inside him desperately reached out for its lifeline, for something to keep him intact.
It found its home.
A new bond was formed, with the same person, yet not.
And Shadow SCREAMED.
"Don't be bemused, it's just the news! Parisians are reporting loud screeching, power outages, and weirdly moving shadows across the city—which some say look like they have cat ears and a tail. The work of an akuma? Or Chat Noir's restless ghost? We ask the people for their thoughts—"
The TV clicked off. "You don't need to watch that, Adrien."
Adrien turned to glare at his father, but nodded, getting up from the couch. Not that he had much choice. Ever since his father had found out Adrien was Chat Noir, he hadn't been shy about using Adrien's amok to force his obedience.
It'd been a year since Lila revealed to Adrien what he was. A year since Chat Noir had been declared dead. A year since he'd talked to his partner.
He twirled his Miraculous, eying the ring on his father's finger. Not like he could do more than that. He'd been forbidden from even thinking about—
Wincing, he looked away. It always hurt to feel his thoughts rewrite themselves.
After long days of being forced to accompany Lila on photoshoots, plastering a smile on for the cameras, sometimes he relished that bit of pain, the knowledge he was doing something he wasn't supposed to, that was forbidden. But today had been a less arduous day than most, and he didn't feel like pissing Father off by thinking things he shouldn't.
"What do you think it is though?" he asked. "I mean, if it's not an akuma…"
His father turned to the window, expression guarded. "Most likely just Lila, practicing her illusions again. Pay it no mind.."
Father was right. Of course he was. He'd been stupid to think it meant something. But then what was up with the power outages—?
He grimaced as his thoughts stuttered and skipped. Whatever train of thought he'd had, Father didn't like it. Not that it made much difference. Adrien couldn't do anything to get out of this situation, even if his thoughts were free. His body was shackled to an even greater extent than his mind was.
Not for the first time, he fantasized about Ladybug finding out who he was, freeing him—he didn't think too hard about how, he wasn't allowed such thoughts—tearfully hugging as they revealed their identities to each other, and just… being together, free to talk and think and do whatever he wanted without needing to worry about what his father would do in retaliation, or that he wouldn't be able to do the thing at all.
At least he hadn't been forbidden from imagining things, from retreating into his own head. He wasn't sure how he'd have survived this year otherwise. Not that he could have escaped that way either; Father had instructed him to not attempt any sort of escape from influence. Trying to die evidently counted.
He hadn't gotten that desperate yet, not since the night Felix talked him down. He'd simply picked up a kitchen knife, wanting to test that theory. The instant he turned it towards himself, he dropped it, his fingers opening of their own accord. He hadn't really meant to do it. He hadn't. No matter what Plagg and Felix thought. He wouldn't do that. He wanted to live, to be with his friends, with his partner.
He just… wanted to check.
The lights flickered out.
Father stiffened. "What's going on?!"
Wait… the lights turning off by themselves…
Adrien's eyes widened. His mind burned as he pushed through his father's command. "Nadja said there were power outages!"
His father paled and turned on his heel, racing to his atelier. Adrien followed after him, heart pounding. The mansion had a back-up generator just for Emilie—Father wasn't taking any chances after what happened when Nino threw an illicit party for Adrien, when Markov diverted all the power away to the speakers—but if that got compromised too…
Father hammered at the portrait's buttons, but nothing happened. He growled, pounding the wall. "Why won't it work?!"
"...Does the elevator power run on the same power line as the rest of the house?" Adrien asked hesitantly.
Father's face went slack. He nodded.
One of the nearby statues clattered to the ground. Absently, Adrien catalogued it as one of the things his father had broken in order to sell his akumatization into the Collector, all those years ago.
"Who's there?!" Father barked, swivelling his head from side-to-side, desperately looking for whatever made the sound. "You are trespassing, and I will personally ensure that the police prosecute you to the full extent—"
"Set him free."
The hairs on the back of Adrien's neck prickled. It was quiet, but the emotion in it… it stirred something deep in his chest, something long repressed, kept under wraps lest indulging too much broke him.
"Adrien, what did you say?" Gabriel asked, looking at him wildly.
"I didn't say anything!" Adrien protested.
"Don't lie to me, I know your voice! Now, tell me the truth. Why did you say that?"
Adrien felt that order settle deep into his bones. His mouth moved of its own accord—not that he would've said anything different, even if he'd had control. "I honestly didn't say that!"
His father looked away, searching for the source of the voice, evidently believing him this time. Of course he did, Adrien literally couldn't lie to him.
"LET HIM GO!" the voice howled, much louder this time. The framed picture containing Gabriel's collection of Adrien pictures—admiring his and Emilie's perfect creation, Adrien thought bitterly—clattered to the ground, the pictures ripping off, shredding to a thousand pieces, shadows flitting around the pieces. "SET HIM FREE!"
This time, Adrien recognized the voice. He heard it whenever he saw interviews of himself played on TV.
It was his own voice.
His father evidently knew it too. "Adrien," he said, turning to him with wide eyes. "Whatever you're doing, stop." He twirled his wedding ring, hands trembling the slightest bit. "Remember the bargain. I cannot honor it if you don't ." As composed as Gabriel tried to be, Adrien detected a hint of fear in his father's voice.
Adrien's heart rose into his throat. "I don't know what's going on! Don't—don't call off the deal. With the Rabbit Miraculous we can fix everything. We don't have to fight her!"
At least in this situation, he knew his friends wouldn't get hurt. And Ladybug… he'd seen her crying at his memorial statue, heard the news talk about her visiting it, leaving flowers. He knew she was devastated.
But she'd move on. She had other friends, other partners—ones she'd chosen, even. She might miss him, but she'd be okay. She'd live, and heal, and move on. He'd always known she didn't need him—not really. She'd be fine, eventually.
And even his other friends—he'd pulled away to protect them. Not that his father left him a lot of choice. He preferred Adrien close, under his thumb. He'd seen the disappointment in Nino's eyes when Adrien told him his father was pulling him from school just before graduation, wouldn't let him go out anymore. The way Marinette's voice dropped when his father had coldly informed her over the com system that he wasn't allowed any visitors.
But he'd also seen them out his window a few times, going about their lives. And not just those two, but the rest of his classmates as well—Kim and Alix racing, Nathaniel and Marc walking by, laughing at some joke he couldn't hear, Alya walking around, face glued to her phone as she made what he presumed to be another Ladyblog video.
They all had their own lives. They might miss him, but they didn't need him. Even if he never got free from his father, even if they never saw him again, they would be happy and safe.
He would do whatever it took to safeguard that. It's why he'd convinced his father not to launch any more attacks, not until the Rabbit Miraculous was repaired. With all the Miraculous they had, versus just Ladybug, without any partners at her side… they might succeed.
He couldn't bear for Ladybug to be hurt like that; or for anyone else to be harmed in the crossfire, unhealed by her Miraculous Ladybug. His father was convinced that none of this, nothing he did, would matter after he rewrote the world with the Wish, but Adrien wasn't so sure. And even if it was undone, it still would have happened.
No. Better to just wait for the Rabbit Miraculous to be repaired. It was a far more reliable method of undoing the past, with far less cost.
"SET HIM FREE!" Adrien's voice screamed again, ending in a high-pitched wail. Everything that wasn't nailed down started vibrating, shaking, before lifting up into the air.
This—this had to be some weird magic. Maybe… "Plagg, do you know what's going on?" he asked, trying to keep the panic in his voice under control.
Plagg looked up at Adrien from his jacket pocket, eyes wide, and shook his head. "I've never seen this before, but…" he squinted at the moving shadows dancing around the room, disturbing everything they touched. "It feels like destruction. Like how both the unpasteurized Camembert cheese we get here and the pasteurized stuff Fu fed me in America are both a kind of Camembert, but they're still different."
Adrien winced at a particularly loud shriek from the shadows. "So is this the pasteurized or unpasteurized cheese?!" Wait, no, that wasn't the important part. He shook his head, trying to clear it. "So what does that mean for us?"
Plagg just shrugged, looking as confused as he was.
"Nooroo, Dark Wings Rise!" Gabriel said, and with the next flash of light, Monarch turned to him. "Transform," he ordered.
He had no choice. "Plagg, Claws Out," he said dully.
Maybe his father was only ordering him to transform because things had gotten dangerous. Maybe this was to protect him. Maybe the deal was still on and his friends would be safe. Maybe after this they'd go back to the status quo, with him being one of the faces of the company, Gabriel and Felix spying into his mind to ensure Adrien didn't try anything, as he survived day-to-day, trying to pass the time.
He didn't believe it. Once this prohibition on transforming, on appearing in public was broken, he didn't believe his father would go back to biding his time. The attacks would start up again… and this time, he'd be joining Monarch's side.
He'd be forced to hurt the person he cared about most in the world.
The walls cracked, a constant shriek sounding throughout the room, as the—the spirit, for lack of a better identifier, intensified its rage.
Monarch opened his cane, releasing a charged black butterfly. "Fly away, little akuma, and evilize this—this thing."
Adrien's eyes widened. "Father, do you really think now is the time—"
"It needs to be contained, Adrien," Gabriel snapped. "Stand back."
The evilized butterfly flew around, melting into a nearby shadow.
Adrien felt something twist inside him, hesitate, then touch—
Darkness exploded across the room, the entire manor tearing apart as a tornado of darkness erupted, demolishing the room in seconds.
But it didn't stop there.
The darkness raced across the ground, the sky, everything, covering all of Paris in dancing shadows and cries of pain.
"Shadow," his father said, his expression both perturbed and bemused.". "I feel your rage, your need to exact revenge. Heed my commands and I will grant you the power to carry out your desires."
The maelstrom of darkness screamed louder.
"You need only submit," his father called, voice trembling. His face screwed up in concentration, his fist clenching. "With my power, you and I—"
"NOT YOURS," the voice bellowed. Distorted now, barely sounding human. Only by listening carefully could a hint of Adrien's voice be detected in it. "NEVER YOURS. NOT YOUR PROPERTY NOT YOURS NOT YOURS DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!"
His father shrank, naked fear present in his eyes.
Adrien's breath hitched.
This—this thing that sounded like him, that couldn't be controlled, had covered all of Paris.
Where all his friends were.
And Adrien could do nothing to help them.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something moving through the sky, glinting in what little light remained. By the time he turned towards them, they were gone.
