Nausicaa came into the Hunger Games ecstatic. She couldn't wait to win and become Panem's youngest victor. Now, she can't imagine anything worse.
She didn't speak to anyone when the medics patched her up. She didn't speak to her mentor, or Santaigo's mentor. She barely wanted to speak at her victory interview.
As if experiencing the horrors weren't enough, now Nausicaa has to relive it all again. And this time, she can see every angle of the horrors she was blind to the first time around. She can see how Virgil convinced Santiago to join him. The roots of their plan to betray her. Verity's death only streamlined the process for them. Carissa was even in on it. And when Nausicaa killed her…that sealed Santiago's participation in the plan for him.
Watching Rhea die hurts. Knowing Rhea died for her hurts even more. But what Nausicaa didn't expect to hurt so much was the little girl from Eleven's death. After Nausicaa killed her brother, she didn't move. She didn't fight. Nausicaa didn't deliver the final blow, but she sealed her fate.
Eight lives. That's how many are gone because of her. Because of her.
No. Not because of her. Because of the Capitol. Because they've determined that the lives of everyone in the district are worthless if they're not entertaining the Capitol. Nausicaa thought she was special. She thought she was gifted. But she was manipulated. She played a part. If it wasn't her, there would have been another. There will be another. It will never end.
Nausicaa doesn't sleep well in the Capitol, nor on the train to return home. Montana tries to tell her she needs to act better for the camera. Nausicaa is tired. Tired of it all.
When she finally returns home, she can't bear to be around her parents. Her trainers. Not even her friends. They all want to congratulate her. They want to celebrate. Nausicaa wants to disappear.
Nausicaa Halcyone went into the arena with hopes and dreams and left with nothing but a shell of who she used to be.