Molly Weasley appeared outside the gates at Hogwarts just before lunch on that Sunday morning in early October. Glad to see she was first, Molly arranged her clean robes, and checked her hair – it was very neat as if she just left the mirror where she completed her light makeup morning routine. She waited patiently until Hagrid arrived to allow her entrance to the grounds but after greeting the half-giant, she walked toward the castle. Each step was slightly faster than the one before – her daughter and sons were being tortured. And apparently, she was the first parent to arrive at the castle since the Daily Prophet printed the story this morning.
The castle opened the front door without any move by Molly and she hurried through the entry hall to the doors of the Great Hall. They were closed and she had to press against them to enter but again the castle helped by pushing the two doors open wide. The children were gathered for lunch and Molly's quick glimpse around the hall showed her four tables full of silent children, the staff table of useless adults, and then her three youngest boys coming toward her.
'Where's Ginny?' she wondered before Ron, Fred, and George were there for her to hug and protect from the evils of the world. With tears in all four pairs of eyes, she heard more details of the torture they'd suffered at the hands of Dolores Umbridge with her contract quills writing lines.
"Where is your sister?"
Ron cried and explained, "She had to go to the infirmary Thursday. She collapsed in the common room after detention and wouldn't wake up."
Molly told her sons, "Let's go check…"
A high-pitched, sweet voice said, "Those boys are going nowhere! This is the lunch hour, and they will sit at the table for the full hour."
Pushing Ron behind her, Molly turned her attention to the squat witch, who stood beside the Gryffindor table dressed in bright pink robes that rivaled Dumbledore's robes for bad taste.
"My children aren't your concern."
Smirking the witch in pink continued, "Your children are ill-bred, blood-traitors, and certain to end up working in maintenance at the ministry – if they are very fortunate."
"Now, Weasley…all of you…back to your seats or there'll be more detentions."
Molly scowled, "No, there won't be more torture!"
"Witch, do you know who I am?" asked the pink horror.
Stepping closer and speaking slowly, Molly replied, "I know you have tortured my children and others with a contract quill. The goblins were very interested to hear that news. They're coming with the Aurors to investigate this afternoon."
"What? Did you tell the goblins? What did you tell the goblins?"
Molly's face was expressionless as she said, "Dolores Umbridge, I challenge you to a duel. You injured my children with torture."
"I…you…"
From the head table, Albus Dumbledore spoke up, "Good witches, nothing is settled by dueling."
"Shut it, Dumbledore!" yelled Molly Weasley. "I'll deal with you next."
Turning her full attention to the witch in pink robes, Molly said, "I say that you are without a heart, Umbridge. Your father curses your soul every night and your mother wishes she had miscarried every morning. Mother Magic mourns the waste of magic that is you."
Her face as pink as her robes, Dolores searched for an exit – at the ministry, she always had a protector nearby to duel anyone who challenged her. Yesterday, she'd ignored the creature at the staff table, but this was a pureblood witch who'd just insulted her. At Hogwarts, there were only the resentful professors, Dumbledore, and the half-goblin creature Flit Nickle-or-something.
"I don't have to duel…I am Dolores Umbridge, Undersecretary…"
"No, you're not," Molly interrupted the pink witch. "You're a professor at Hogwarts. And you answer to the parents if you hurt their child. Now, move over here and duel."
"No, I won't move," Umbridge stated as though that solved the problem.
Molly looked at the students at the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables and ordered, "Move."
The children scattered, leaving Molly and the hated DADA professor standing alone between the tables. Dolores was afraid but then she rationalized the situation in her head – she was Undersecretary to the Minister himself. The ministry would protect her. The Aurors would arrive in a few moments and rescue her. Soon, she would be Grand Inquisitor at Hogwarts. Dolores Umbridge would replace Dumbledore as headmistress before New Year if she played the cards properly.
"You'll be in Azkaban before dark," Dolores said as she raised her wand to begin the duel.
At the staff table, Dumbledore raised his wand to cast spells, but Flitwick reached over and pushed the strange wand down. The dueling champion said, "You can't interfere headmaster. They've formed up and Mother Magic herself will punish you if you try to intervene."
Professor Sprout said, "Five gallons on Molly Weasley."
McGonagall said, "You'd do better to bet on the amount of time it takes Molly to skin the toad."
"Ladies! Please," admonished Dumbledore while his staff set bets on how long it would take Molly to defeat Dolores. The housewife began her attack by banishing Dolores's hideous shoes. Losing three inches of stature left the pink toad off balance and closer to the stone floor.
"What are you doing?" Dolores demanded when her robes wrapped around her torso and squeezed.
"Wringing out the wet clothes before I hang them out to dry," explained Molly sweeping her wand around and making Dolores yelp as her clothing heated up uncomfortably.
"Your daughter cried the other night while she wrote lines," Dolores revealed, hoping to distract the witch. "She blubbered that she wanted her mother, but you didn't come to rescue her, did you?"
Rather than being distracted by Umbridge's words, they seemed to concentrate Molly's attention and her wand was constantly in motion, pitching Dolores round and round. The casual cutting charm took the ministry official's wand apart a dozen centimeters at a time. Dolores had not managed to throw a single spell in almost three minutes of the duel and when she tried, the shortened wand backfired, blowing up the pudgy hand.
Then Molly's wand moved through a particular kitchen spell and Dolores gave a high-pitched yelp before dropping to the floor of the Great Hall. Dolores Umbridge never moved again – her internal organs had all been removed. The 'meat sack' spell was useful when there was a large family to feed, and a chicken needed to be prepared quickly to drop in the stew pot.
Just as Molly concluded the duel, the doors to the Great Hall opened and numerous parents, Aurors, and ministry officials poured into the Great Hall. Arthur Weasley led his wife to the infirmary where they checked on their daughter.
Blustering and full of his own air, Cornelius Fudge spoke of arresting Molly Weasley for murder. Lord and Lady Greengrass checked on their daughters and then on Tracy Davis. Their eldest daughter's best friend bore scars on one hand. Lady Greengrass slapped Cornelius's face and praised Molly Weasley. Lady Augusta Longbottom checked on Neville and found scars her grandson and on the hands of all the boys and girls in his year. The formidable witch began yelling about a trial for Fudge before sending him to Azkaban for thirty years.
"It was a masterful duel," Flitwick told a reporter from the Daily Prophet as he shared his memory to provide photographs for the front page. "Molly Weasley held her ground and threw Umbridge around like a toy."
"Did she use dark and forbidden spells?"
The short professor shook his head and replied, "Of course not. Mrs. Weasley has mastered household charms, and she used them to put down her opponent with grace and power. Dolores was outmatched from the get-go."
The loud conversations in the Great Hall that afternoon concluded with Cornelius Fudge fleeing back to the ministry and hiding in his office for three days. His wife took Molly Weasley's side in the argument and Cornelius felt it better to sleep on the sofa in his office.
Remus Lupin received an offer of employment as DADA instructor again (from Amelia Bones and Augusta Longbottom acting for the Board of Governors). Harry Potter came out of hiding to eat supper in the Great Hall. And Molly Weasley sat beside Ginny's cot in the infirmary for the next three days, nursing her daughter back to health.
The first DADA classes for every student that week included a review of how innocuous charms for cleaning clothes and preparing food could be used to defeat an enemy with enough magical power behind them.
"That's why you must practice your spells to strengthen your magical core."
"Is that so we can skewer our enemies?" asked one muggle-born, second-year girl.
"Or make certain your chores around the house are done properly," the new instructor replied.
END SCENE