Demented Chapter 25

When Harry woke up, it was morning. At first, he was surprised he had slept so long. He thought that he had been only getting a quick procedure. Harry was relieved to find out that he was the only one in the room. He slowly got up and went to relieve himself, and then came back and looked for his clothes. As soon as he found some, he started changing.

There was a lot going through Harry's mind. He was getting used to the idea that he had a permanent room in the dungeon. It was almost as nice as his other one, and he still wasn't used to that. Hogwarts had always been his home, but he lived in a dormitory with other boys in his year. That was fun, and he liked it. He wasn't sure how others, especially Ron, would react to finding out he has his own room in the castle.

Ron was always so jealous of Harry already.

For some reason, Harry had been convinced that the room in Snape's quarters was temporary, just a guest space, not his own room personalized to his needs or preferences. It was weird.

Snape was just not someone Harry could figure out. He could be a stern taskmaster and he was a strict disciplinarian. He could be harsh with consequences and had so many rules that Harry sometimes found himself wanting to break one just to prove that Snape couldn't make him toe the line.

Then Snape would do something that surprised Harry, like let him invite his friends over or play a game of chess with him. These things were personal and seemed to show he cared, and wasn't just playing the part of the persnickety guardian who only waited for Harry to mess up so he could punish him.

In some ways, the man was still the same. He refused to budge on orders or expectations and he expected to be obeyed. In other ways, he was completely different from the man who had made Harry's life miserable for four years. He pointed out errors as mercilessly as ever, but didn't insult Harry, his father or his House.

In fact, Harry had not heard one word about James Potter all summer, and Gryffindor was only mentioned in reference to school business. Unless they were discussing Harry's class schedule or his Head of House, Snape acted as though he didn't even know his ward was a member of the supposedly wretched club. Apparently now that Snape was no longer a spy, he no longer needed to play that game.

He had also cared enough to make sure Harry had his vaccinations and treatments once he found out he'd never had a full physical in his first year. It meant back to the infirmary they went. Harry could really do without that, of course, but he knew he should be grateful someone finally cared about him. Sometimes Snape's caring smothered him, however. The man was overbearing and it was hard to go from no one telling him what to do to someone watching his every step.

"And just where do you think you are going, Young Man?"

Harry held in a sigh. Of course he hadn't been able to escape so soon. He turned around to see Snape behind him, wondering how he'd missed the man.

"Sorry, Sir," Harry said. "I was just going to look for you."

"You were just going to wander around the hallways until we found out you were missing," Snape said, pointing to the bed, "Sit back down."

Since the tone of Snape's voice wasn't one to disobey, Harry sat down. He tried to look contrite and innocent at the same time. It seemed there was nothing he couldn't get away with.

"When can I leave?"

"Don't sulk. You know very well that Madame Pomfrey has to release you," Snape said.

Harry shrugged and looked toward the office, hoping the Mediwitch would come out soon and save him from a lecture. It looked like Snape wasn't planning to say anything else though. He just stood there and gave Harry a stern look.

"Mr. Potter. Dressed, I see. How are you feeling?" Madame Pomfrey wasted no time on preliminaries when she came out of her office with her clipboard, and Harry was grateful for that.

"Yes, Ma'am," Harry said. "I feel fine." He looked at Snape. "Great, even."

"Harrumph," the mediwitch said, looking at the parchment. "All seems fine now, Severus. Keep an eye on him for signs of nerve damage, like we discussed."

Harry looked up at her, and then back to Snape. Nerve damage did not sound good. Then again, she had treated it, so he didn't have to worry. He supposed it was from his encounter with Voldemort. He preferred not to think about that.

"Of course, Madame," Snape said.

"Very well," she said. "I'll release him then." To Harry she said, "You let Professor Snape know if you have any additional symptoms, or come to me during school."

Harry nodded, and Snape assured her that Harry would. Harry lost no time jumping down, but he saw the look Snape was giving him. He turned back to her.

"Thanks, Madame Pomfrey," he said, and he was out the door almost before he heard her response or what Snape was saying to her.

"So," Harry said, as they began the long walk back to the dungeons. "Now am I okay?"

"I do not care for your tone," Snape said, "Harry, if I decide to send you back to the infirmary for checking up every month then there is little you can do about it. It's my responsibility as your guardian to do what I feel necessary to keep you healthy and cared for and it's your responsibility to obey me."

Again Harry balked at the tone. He didn't feel comfortable enough with Snape yet to tell him that he really hated the place.

"Sorry, Sir," Harry said. "I just hate physicals."

"I understand that," Snape said. Harry thought his voice might have been a little gentler. "It was an oversight on my part. I should have made sure you'd had your First Year physical."

Harry shrugged. "It's okay, Sir. You didn't know. If everyone gets one then, why would you? I didn't realize First Years are supposed to get physicals. I guess there's a lot of things I never did because I didn't have a proper guardian. I didn't get to go to Hogsmeade until fourth year."

"Yes, well," Snape paused, "I'm not entirely sure I would have allowed you to go,even if I had been your guardian when you were a Third Year. We all thought Black was trying to murder you that year."

"He wasn't!"

"You know that now," Snape said more sternly, "I didn't know it then, and neither did you. There were also Dementors to contend with. It was very foolish of you to sneak out. Had I been your guardian then, you'd have sorely regretted it."

Harry looked down, finding it hard to meet Snape's eye. He could still remember that incident. At the time, sneaking out had seemed fun. Looking back now, he kind of saw Snape's point. It had been foolish with the Dementor around.

"You said I could go, this year," Harry said, trying not to let the worry show in his voice.

"As long as your grades and behavior demonstrate that you've earned it," Snape said. "It's a privilege, Harry."

It took nearly biting his tongue not to argue with that. Harry had learned to pick the time and place when battling with Snape. Hypotheticals were never decided in Harry's favor. As far as Harry was concerned, Hogsmeade trips were not a privilege. They were just part of life at Hogwarts. Everyone went. Snape saw it differently and Harry was not going to change his mind.

"Don't sulk."

"I wasn't," Harry said, before he thought about it. He quickly followed that with, "I was just thinking, that's all."

"Thinking, hmm? About what?" Snape chose not to comment on the sulking, much to Harry's relief.

"If I have a room here at Hogwarts, can I invite people over?"

Snape paused. Apparently the question wasn't something that had occurred to him. Harry knew he never had Slytherin students in his private quarters, but he had no problem having Harry there since Harry was his ward. Harry and a lot of his Gryffindor friends might be another issue.

"Of course you can," he said, although Harry thought maybe it came out a little forced. "These quarters are yours as well as mine. Please make sure that you let them know what the rules are. You are not responsible for their following them, just for telling them."

"Can they sleep over?"

Harry had no idea why he had asked that. He didn't know why he was pushing this. He had been so grateful when Snape had let him have friends over for his birthday. It hadn't even been one friend then, but many, and friends Harry knew Snape considered trouble. Yet Snape had been gracious, like a real parent. Something Harry had never had before. Maybe that was the point. Somewhere in the back of Harry's mind, he was pushing Snape to see if he really wanted to be Harry's parental figure.

If Harry was going to have the drawbacks, he was going to get all of the benefits.

"I suppose that can be arranged," Snape said. "However I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall."

"Brilliant, Sir," Harry said. "Thanks!"

As Harry thought of all the times he had spent at Ron's house, he thought of something else.

"Sir, what about the train?"

"What about it?"

"Do I take it this year?"

"You are already here."

"Right," Harry said in a soft voice.

They continued walking the rest of the way to the dungeons. Harry felt as if he had lost something. He told himself he was being childish. It was such a little thing. He was already at Hogwarts, so there was no reason to ride the train to get there.

Yet he was going to miss it all the same. The train was one of his most enjoyable Hogwarts experiences. It was when he sat with his friends and caught up on what happened during the summer. They ate sweets and sat and chatted together, and there was no pressure or danger.

Well … most of the time there was no danger. There was the Dementor attack in his third year. He'd missed the train to Hogwarts in his second year and taken a stolen flying car. Snape had been livid then. Harry thought back on the memory. He was glad he hadn't been in Snape's care then. Snape would have murdered him.

They arrived at their quarters and Snape called for breakfast. Harry was hardly paying attention. He was distracted by thinking about the upcoming school year again. It seemed like so much in his life had changed. Every year he hopes this would be the year he could just focus on school. That seemed far from likely with Voldemort back. After all, he'd been assigned the scariest teacher in the school as a custodial bodyguard.

They were eating quietly when Harry noticed that Snape was looking at him. He looked up. He wasn't eating too fast or too slow or ignoring fruits or vegetables, things that annoyed Snape and often got him scolded.

"Sir?"

"You want to ride the train."

It wasn't phrased as a question, but Harry nodded anyway. Since Snape seemed to know, he didn't explain. He knew that the professor had some things in common with Harry, namely a rotten childhood. Maybe he simply understood.

"Very well," Snape said, "Your godfather has been asking to see you, and you should speak to Lupin again. I will take you there a few days early and you can ride the Express with your friends. Is that agreeable?"

"That's great," Harry said. "Thanks, Sir."

"Hmm," Snape said. "You'll have to go visit sooner than that I suppose. How does this afternoon sound?"

"That's great," Harry said.

"Remember …"

"I know, Sir," Harry said, "really I do."

Snape took a sip of tea and Harry thought he saw a knowing smirk. Since Harry's tone was more playful than whiny though, he let it go. Harry was relieved. He was tired of being threatened to behave. He had no intention of getting in trouble at Grimmauld Place, but if he did, he knew that Sirius and Remus wouldn't tell Snape.