AO3: sarcasticscully
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the bands/movies mentioned here
Here's Part III. Santana is obviously very smitten with Britt but she's so cynical because of her past experiences.
Let me know what you think! 3
The next day was Monday and as usual, Santana was up early to get ready for work. She chuckled to herself, thinking about the weird dream she had about picking up some random, cute girl on the streets of Lima Heights Adjacent who wore 80s clothes with a name that sounded just like Britney Spears.
It had to be a dream, right?
Except she was hearing someone moving around in the apartment and singing with an angelic voice that definitely couldn't have been Mercedes…
Fuck! Santana thought, throwing back her blanket and quickly getting up from the couch. She raced upstairs to her currently empty room, noting with relief that Brittany wasn't there but the blonde had left everything neat and in place with Santana's bed all made up.
This was a disaster and she couldn't bear to face Brittany just yet. She began pacing her floor after she had a quick shower and threw on her typical work clothes as she thought about the situation. She needed to have a plan.
Of course Brittany would still be there. It didn't seem like the blonde had anywhere else to go and she had practically no money. Santana hadn't even thought about what would happen next after allowing this random woman to stay in her apartment.
She had to find a way to get Brittany out of her apartment soon…even if a big part of her somehow didn't like the idea of that at all. No, she had to be strong, no-nonsense lawyer Santana today and not just give into this woman again as she had been doing the whole time because of a pair of pretty blue cat eyes.
"Hi Santana!" Brittany practically ambushed her with a hug as soon as she entered the kitchen.
Santana stiffened up, not expecting the hug and not accustomed to being hugged by someone she barely knew but she had to admit Brittany felt good against her, so warm and with a hint of a clean, flowery and delicate scent that made the dark-haired woman close her eyes for a second.
She was still wearing Santana's favourite old pair of black pajama shorts, her long hair pulled up into a messy bun and her eyes were just so startlingly blue. Santana forced herself to look away because the sight of Brittany wearing her clothes - and wearing so little at all - made her pulse race.
"Did you sleep well?"
Santana nodded quickly, pulling back. "What about you? I hope my room was comfortable for you..."
"It was perfect," Brittany told her with a sweet smile, stretching her back and stifling a yawn. "Your bed is so comfortable."
Santana tore her eyes away from the bare, freckled skin of her stomach and hips that was revealed with the movement when her tank top rode upward.
"So what do you want to do today, Brittany?" Santana swallowed her nerves and asked as she pulled on her jacket, watching with amusement while Brittany began eating spoonfuls of the most sugary cereal she could find in the cupboard.
Mercedes had clearly already left for work much earlier than Santana, as she usually did, so the two of them were alone in the apartment. Knowing that they were alone together made Santana feel even more flustered.
Even though Mercedes and Santana weren't really into them, Mercedes' boyfriend Sam had a secret sweet tooth - despite being a male model who was always watching his weight - so they always kept boxes of Frosted Flakes, Oreo Os, and Cap'n Crunch in their apartment for him. Although these days, their old high school friend Finn was usually the only one eating them whenever he stopped by.
The dark-haired woman couldn't believe how every little thing Brittany did made her cuter in her eyes even though she'd probably be irritated if anyone else did the same things.
She had to speak now and get straight to the point before she lost her cool completely. "I'm leaving for work soon and I'm kind of in a rush. Do you need me to give you a ride anywhere?"
Brittany just looked completely lost and a little saddened at Santana's words.
"Oh please, can I go with you?" Brittany begged, pouting. "I don't want to be stuck here alone all day. Maybe I can be your assistant and earn some money to pay for my stay here?"
Santana shook her head, slightly exasperated as she drank her black coffee. She really wanted to help Brittany out but she was just a simple woman and this was just too much for her to deal with right now.
"Look, Blossom, I can't just bring you to work with me…" She sighed, slipping back into her snappy mode although with Brittany, she could never quite manage to be as aggressive as she was with others.
"Don't call me that, Santana. I prefer when you call me Princess or Querida. It sounds really hot, especially when you say it with a sexy accent." Brittany quipped, giving Santana one of her intense, fox eyed sidelong stares. All Santana could see was crystal blue and she was lost in it again.
For such an innocent girl, Brittany sure was bold. Santana tried not to let Brittany see her lose her composure. Santana was about to argue but the doorbell rang, interrupting her train of thought.
Santana was about to get up but Brittany announced loudly in her chirpy voice, "I'll get it!", then skipped along happily before Santana could say anything.
The sophisticated woman who was standing there when the bubbly blonde opened the door looked and dressed like a supermodel with her makeup all fully done up like she was about to film a movie. She was about Brittany's height but taller in her four inch heels with long, perfectly straightened, golden hair and massive, unnaturally high and circular breasts.
The woman saw Brittany then noticed the fact that she was barely dressed, wearing what were clearly Santana's pajamas. Her expression changed to one of complete revulsion, looking past Brittany to Santana and straightening up her posture as she sized Brittany up.
"Already back to bedding your typical bimbos, are you, Santana?" She sneered disdainfully. "That didn't take long. Classy as always, Lopez. I'm here to pick up the rest of my stuff."
"Whatever, Shannon. Good morning to you too." Santana mumbled.
Brittany noticed the miserable expression on Santana's face when she was in the presence of this other woman. There was something about the two women's body language that suggested they had a history together and Brittany quickly realized that this woman was the ex-girlfriend Santana was talking about before who was seen in the picture with her.
Santana shoved a bag full of what looked like skimpy red and pink lingerie into Shannon's arms roughly.
"Take it. I don't want your shit in here. Is that all you want? I'm about to go to work and I don't have time to argue with you right now." She growled. Shannon said nothing, giving the Latina a scathing look.
"Hi, I'm Brittany!" The blonde greeted her, noticing that the other woman was still staring at her with that weird expression. Brittany always made an effort to be friendly to everyone even though she didn't like the vibe she was getting from Shannon or the way Santana was reacting to her ex-girlfriend. "It's nice to meet you."
"Hello," Shannon said coolly in return. Her smile didn't reach her eyes and her face tightened. She snickered behind her hand as she looked over the other blonde again. "Nice hair, Brittany. It's so…big. Very fashionable on you…"
"Oh, thank you!" Brittany grinned, though she wasn't sure if she was being complimented or not. Santana narrowed her eyes as Shannon mocked the blonde openly right in front of her in such a rude way. "You look very glamorous, Shannon."
"Shut up!" Santana snarled warningly, rounding on Shannon and glaring at her pointedly before the other woman could say anything more in response to that. She didn't know why she felt so defensive of Brittany but the quirky girl didn't deserve to be insulted around a complete catty bitch like her ex lover.
"I see you got a little something tweaked," The black-haired girl added, gesturing towards Shannon's chest pointedly. "Since last time I saw you…"
The supermodel-looking woman made a sound of annoyance and sneered, offended but turned away with one last nasty look in Brittany's direction.
She made sure to flash her engagement ring, which was a huge diamond and made Santana's eyes open wide. "I have to go film a movie. Hans is waiting for me. Did I mention he just bought another Ferrari?"
"Just take your things and get out, you high class whore." Santana said through gritted teeth, not following up on the comment. Shannon flipped her off and walked away, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
"She's always such a cold-hearted bitch," The Latina grumbled as soon as Shannon slammed the door behind her. The woman had become increasingly petty over the years and the last thing Santana wanted was for her to target Brittany. Brittany was so innocent and girlish that she clearly didn't even understand when Santana's high-maintenance ex was being nasty to her. It was just horrible to watch, which was odd as Santana usually enjoyed a good roast of someone else. "I mean, I'm one too - a cold-hearted bitch, that is, so I know exactly how bad we can be. I'm sorry she was so rude to you, Brittany. That was my ex I mentioned before."
"Thanks, Santana," Brittany replied softly, turning her honest, sweet gaze on her again with those baby blues that drove Santana up a wall. "You don't seem like a cold-hearted bitch to me."
"Yeah well, I am. Have you decided what you want to do?" Santana asked, again thinking that she hated making the girl feel unwelcomed but as much as she was a guest and a really cute one, there was no way she could let the blonde stay there in her and Mercedes' apartment forever. Especially not with how eccentric Brittany tended to be. "Do you need to call home to your family?"
Brittany got that glum look on her face again that Santana hated and went to rummage through her backpack, searching for something. Santana blinked, shocked when Brittany opened a long sheet of paper with a bunch of things listed in crayon and some childish looking drawings.
"What in the world?" Santana looked over the list and couldn't believe her eyes. She couldn't fathom why on earth Brittany would have written this list.
"Santana, I put together this list of places I really need to visit when I'm in the fut- I mean in Lima."
"Brittany, what the hell? These are all just ordinary, boring places... the grocery store, Breadstix, the mall, the library, the cinema...don't they have anything like this where you come from? Where is it you come from, again?"
"Sorry, Santana. I guess it might seem a little weird to you but I really want to know what those places are like here."
"This is really weird, you know that?" Santana began to say, re-reading the list again. "So what are you gonna do, rent a car to get to these places? Call your family and get them to send you money?"
Brittany looked at her with big, pleading blue eyes and said nothing, biting her bottom lip. She just looked so scared and helpless.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but... fine. Just get dressed and get in the car. I'll take the day off and drive you around today to the stupid sites you want to go to." Santana sighed, already taking out her phone to text Mercedes that she was going to take a sick day. Mercedes would think she was absolutely insane when she found out why Santana wasn't going in to work. Brittany thanked her, kissing Santana on the cheek before she knew what was happening and she felt this stupid heat rise in her face that had no right being there.
That was how against her better judgment, Santana ended up driving around in her expensive car to get to the first stop on her list, with Brittany S. Pierce in her passenger seat, wearing another crazy ensemble of high-waisted jeans, jelly bracelets and legwarmers on her arms. For some reason Brittany kept constantly asking her about this and that as Santana drove her around. She was fascinated with everything around her. Brittany gasped seeing two grown men with gelled hair holding hands as they strolled down the sidewalk nearby.
"They can do that just like that?" She asked in amazement. "In Lima?!"
"Do what? Oh… that's just bitchy old Kurt and his boyfriend Elliott," Santana muttered disinterestedly. "Yeah they're out of the closet now. Have been for a while, those two."
"Oh wow, so people don't hate them here or anything?"
"Well, to be honest they are kinda annoying and they suck but that's mostly because Lady Hummel is such a priss," Santana laughs. "Plus his fashion sense is awful. But no, no one really hates them around here much anymore. Not for being gay, at least, except for a few ignorant bitter old dicks."
"Santana, no offence but everyone looks so weird here. Their hair is so flat and short. None of the guys even has a moustache anymore. I haven't even seen any shoulder pads."
Looking weird? Look who's talking, Santana thought. The girl who wears pink fluorescent leg warmers on her arms...
As they drove along towards the direction of the mall, Brittany kept staring at her then looking away whenever Santana caught her without saying anything and it was driving the Latina crazy.
"What?" Santana eventually asked, mildly frustrated.
"Do you…" Brittany looked up at her shyly and her voice was unusually timid, "Do you have a girlfriend right now?"
"Nope!" Santana responded immediately, popping the P, annoyed about the question.
"How come?"
Santana rolled her eyes in disbelief that Brittany was just going to ask that outright.
"Look, Tiffany. Not that I know why I'm even explaining myself to you but me and girls just don't work out. Ever."
"My name's Brittany, not Tiffany. That's my sister's name."
"It's just a joke about…never mind," Santana huffed, turning her attention back to driving when she realized it was useless to try to explain the reference.
"Santana?"
Here come the questions again.
"What is it?" She groaned.
"Why don't you and girls ever work out?" Brittany tilted her head to the side, peering at her curiously.
"What?"
"I mean, you said before that things never work out well when you date girls. Why is that?"
Santana's hands tightened around the steering wheel, unsure of how to answer this.
Brittany was probably the most innocent-minded and guileless person she had ever spoken to which was refreshing and a little bit heartwarming she had to admit but at the same time it always caught her off guard.
"What's it to you?"
"I was just wondering," Brittany shrugged. "You're really interesting to me as a person. You get so sad whenever you talk about girls sometimes even though you obviously like them and you looked so depressed around your ex but you're not normally that sad so I was just wondering why you act like that."
Santana was taken aback and about to say something like "None of your business, butt out" like what she would have said if anyone else asked the same thing then curse them out for good measure but she bit her tongue because there was something about Brittany's soft disposition that made her feel insulting the bubbly girl would be like kicking a kitten.
"Brittany...how should I say this? Women can be really shallow and fickle. Some of them are gold diggers."
"Gold diggers?" Brittany repeated, confused. "They pan for gold? Why do they want gold so much?"
"They don't pan…never mind. Forget that. I mean they're shallow bitches."
Brittany kept looking at her expectantly to finish explaining what she meant so Santana eventually sighed, continuing even though she didn't want to talk about this.
"They only date you because they want money," Brittany just nodded although Santana wasn't sure that the blonde fully understood what she meant. "So as I was saying, they're shallow bitches but the problem is I'm also a shallow bitch. So the problem is we get together and the sex is great but then they move on to the next sucker and guess who gets kicked to the curb when they go back to their serious, rich, WASPy boyfriends?"
Santana knew she sounded bitter but she was a blunt person and Brittany needed to understand the way the world worked because she didn't seem to get it.
"I don't understand how anyone could reject someone like you, Santana," Brittany looked up at her through her eyelashes and she spoke so honesty without a trace of insincerity in her soft-spoken voice. "I mean…if you'd take a chance on me…I'd totally like…date you. Anytime."
Santana blushed deeply up to her ears, trying to ignore the effect that Brittany's words were having on her. It had been a while since a girl had been able to get into her head and turn her into a complete flustered teenager on their first date but there was no way she was gonna show that. She had to play it cool and pretend she didn't care. Brittany was gonna be gone in a few weeks anyway so she couldn't let herself get too attached.
Normally Santana would have put the moves on a hot leggy blonde. After all it wasn't everyday that a really sexy girl with legs for days would practically throw herself at Santana (well, okay maybe every other day) but Brittany was really... out there even by quirky girl standards and Santana wasn't entirely sure if the gentle girl even knew how sex worked at this rate.
For some reason, Santana felt like taking advantage of the ditzy blonde would be wrong somehow. Maybe she was growing a heart after all. Mercedes would be shocked by that. No matter what she said, she couldn't seem to deter Brittany from making passes at her with those flirty eyes so maybe it was time to be brutally honest.
There was no way Brittany could be as sweet and wholesome as she seemed... this had to be an act and there had to be something more in it for her. No one was ever that nice just for the sake of being nice. She had to be fake, just like every other woman it seemed, in Santana's life.
"Look, Valley Girl, I know you think you like me. A lot of girls do, you're far from the first but it's just an illusion. I'm a chick magnet - it's my curse. You don't actually want me. I don't blame you for thinking I'm sexy, it's kind of flattering actually. I'm a walking sex goddess and this ain't my first rodeo. I'm gonna tell you upfront I don't do the whole superficial college girls looking to experiment deal. I know you think it'll be all fun and different for you but I've been there, done that a million times and I'm not going through that again. So don't even try it. You just want an exotic, secret forbidden fling with the hot Puerto Rican girl to brag about with your yuppie girlfriends when you get back home but just to make it clear I'm not gonna be the hot piece of ass you take advantage of."
"But I'm not in college and you aren't a piece of an ass. I don't even know what that would look like. Although you do have a really nice ass," Brittany pouted at the warning look Santana was giving her and looked like she wanted to argue then eventually relented. "Okay, sorry. I'll stop."
A moment passed as Santana continued driving along in silence, feeling guilty for a second and wondering if she had taken it too far in her rant in her attempts to reject Brittany because the girl had such a gloomy expression but then the quirky girl's next words nearly made Santana crash into the car in front of her.
"Okay, so like… I'm gonna need you to help me find a husband, Santana."