A/N: I'm back and doing better! :) Unfortunately, I turned out positive for COVID which kicked my butt for the days I was absent from updating this story that I've been obsessing about for you all. I apologize for that. Tomorrow, I shall try to deliver two updates to make up for the waiting I put you all through lol. I hope, in the mean time, you enjoy this chapter. Lastly, I am wishing everyone to take great care. I always mask up after stepping out of the comfort of my home and look what happened to me either way. Let's all mask up, and care for one another. Happy reading!
For the moment they spent inside the house at the Orchard, Emma and Regina had been two people sharing their mutual feelings with one another. They had shared a kiss that had stopped even the rain around them.
Emma had kept the kiss so delicate, her hand hadn't moved from resting behind Regina's neck. And Regina had never been more grateful. She had been grateful that Emma didn't attempt to move her hand elsewhere. She never did. And their kiss… Regina could still feel the withdrawal of their lips as they parted.
Same as Emma. She could feel her palm and thumb burn with the absence of being able to caress Regina's skin. A ghost of a smirk wanted to become visible at the corner of her lip. And Regina couldn't help but look over and almost see it appear.
The brunette thanked whatever made the blonde not smile, otherwise she would have wanted to kiss the corner of it.
And tonight's kiss, tonight's shared moment had only been theirs. Possibly a one time thing, and Regina was conscious of that, as was Emma. As much as it pained them.
Something had happened tonight when they kissed.
Something that Emma could only describe as 'magical.'
Would it happen again?
Emma wasn't sure.
Arriving at the house was as if a weight had been lifted off both their chests, until a figure came out running from the front doors.
"You're back!" Audrey rushed out, instantly pulling her mother into a hug, which left Regina hugging her back but her eyes hugged Emma's in distant glance.
Suddenly the weight that was weighing on both of them felt heavier. The thickness in the air felt suffocating.
After tonight, both Emma and Regina were holding onto a secret that ate at their hearts. A secret that was becoming more than either of them wanted to admit.
"I became so worried for you two!" Audrey rushed over to Emma, her arms stretched out and pulling her girlfriend into an even tighter embrace that left Emma releasing a small grunt.
"Audrey," Emma's hands landed on Audrey's waist, and softly pushed her back from their embrace, only to be met by the girl's lips pressing up hard against her own. Emma's eyes looked over to Regina, who wore a deep frown, but gave a sad understanding smile.
"I thought you weren't coming home at all. I was about to go fetch you myself." Audrey's hands cradled Emma's face in a loving manner before her lips placed another gentle kiss against her lips. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. We're fine. We're here." Emma nods, smiling gently her way.
Audrey exchanged a quick look between her girlfriend and her mother, taking notice of something different in Emma. "Is that a new shirt?"
Emma's eyes darted over to Regina. "No, um-"
"It's mine, dear." Regina cut in, smiling at her daughter. "Emma was brave enough to help me with the birth of Daisy's new addition."
"Really?" Audrey grinned at Emma, linking her arm with hers. "That's wonderful!"
"Yeah, something I rather not do again, thank you." The blonde says sarcastically, earning a smile from Regina and a laugh from Audrey.
The rain had stopped by the time they arrived home. The skies were still gray, and there were still signs of thunder rumbling off in the distance. But the worst had stopped.
"Let's get inside. You two must be starving."
"Actually, we were held up in the house for a while so we had a little of what Daniel kept in the fridge." Said Regina, walking along her daughter's side as they head into the house. Her eyes dart down to Audrey and Emma's joined hands and a frown takes over her lips without being able to fight it back.
"Oh, well that's good." Audrey smiles.
"How are you feeling?" Emma asked, putting on her best smile.
After all, it wasn't Audrey's fault that Emma found herself developing unexpected feelings for her mo- Regina. Which was Audrey's mom, so the thought still made her mentally cringe.
"Ugh, a lot better. Thank God."
Regina made her way inside of the house, her eyes taking in Emma one last time before the couple turned to face her, forcing her to smile. "Well, Emma, I think you should get some rest. Today was a… An unexpected day."
"That's a good idea. You should both get some rest." Audrey's hand feels free to play with a strand of Emma's hair.
"You two go on ahead. I think I'll stay up a while longer." Regina smiles, throwing a nod their way.
"Alone?" Emma frowns, her eyes locking into Regina's. "You don't need some company?" She asks Regina, causing the brunette to frown in return.
"Aw, that's so nice, you two bonding!" Audrey smirks, holding on closer to Emma.
Bonding was not exactly the word.
Regina chuckles. "Thank you, but I'll be fine. I think I'll just read a little. I'm still a little overwhelmed by everything tonight. But, you go ahead." Her eyes dart to Emma's. "Really. I'll be fine."
Emma didn't believe that. She didn't want to believe that Regina would be fine, because she wasn't fine. If she felt anything like Emma was feeling right now after their shared mutual kiss, then this was Regina putting up a facade to spare her own true feelings from becoming exposed. To spare her daughter's feelings from becoming hurt.
"Well, have a good night, mom." Audrey placed a kiss on her mother's cheek, feeling one in return.
"Good night, dear." Said Regina, her eyes moving over to Emma, who was being guided up the stairs by Audrey.
Emma's gaze remained on Regina, until Audrey made her look her way, giving her a smile. "You look better." Said Emma.
"Yeah! I have no idea what Sidney puts in that tea of his, but I drank it, took a nap after I talked to you and I feel like a new woman."
"That's great." Regina can hear Emma chuckle until they disappear in the hallway of the second floor. Her smile slowly turned to a frown, and her lips still burned with the absence of feeling Emma's right on hers. How gentle they moved and caressed each spot on her own lips.
How peaceful and content Emma's angelic face looked after they had mutually parted.
This was going to be harder for Regina to handle than she thought. But, she needed to do her best and suck up all of her feelings toward Emma that came to light tonight. For Audrey's sake and for her own, she needed to let this go.
Regina wasn't the only one who's mind still floated with thoughts about their mutual kiss. Just upstairs, once changed into more comfortable clothing for bed, Emma found herself drifting off into the dream that that kiss had been.
She didn't even seem to care that Audrey was kissing her neck, attempting to turn her on. Something Audrey immediately took notice of as she abruptly stopped.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Audrey lifted up her head, seeing that lost look on Emma's face. "Em?" She called out again.
"Hm?" Emma's head tilted, her gaze finding Audrey's within the darkness of their bedroom. "What?"
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah." She smiles, combing through her girlfriend's hair in a soft manner. "I'm with you. Why wouldn't I be okay?"
Audrey smiles, and her hand begins to slip past the covers, traveling down South until it reached-
"You know," Emma abruptly halts Audrey's hand from moving any further, her body quickly jumping out of bed. "I think I'm just thirsty. I'm gonna go downstairs for a glass of water and I'll be right back up."
"Okay." Audrey blinks, sitting up in bed as she notices how quickly Emma is making her way out the door. "Emma?" She calls out, seeing her girlfriend halt, rotate on the balls of her feet and face her again. "Are you sure everything's alright?"
No. But Emma nods and forces a tiny smile out of the corner of her lip. "I'm sorry," she takes a seat on the edge of the bed, reaching for Audrey's hand and placing a kiss along her knuckles. "I'm sorry, Audrey. Truth is… I'm just not really in the mood tonight, with everything that happened today, and helping your mom, you know?"
"Of course, I know. And it's okay." The young brunette reaches for Emma's hair and allows her fingers to comb softly through it. Her lips placed a gentle kiss against Emma's in a level of understanding that ached Emma's heart.
"I really am sorry." Emma frowned.
"Em, we don't have to do it tonight if you're too tired. We have the rest of our lives." And if Audrey's words didn't make this all the more difficult, her smile finished her off. "Go get your glass of water." She playfully shoves Emma off the bed.
"I won't be long." Emma chuckles, making her way toward the door.
"I'll be here when you get back. That's a promise." Audrey winks, setting back into bed after she sees Emma leave their bedroom.
Emma made her way down the hallway, down the familiar steps and made her way into the kitchen. It was dark, and she didn't bother flickering on the lights, not for a glass of water. Opening the fridge, she reached for the pitcher of water, followed by a glass from one of the upper cupboards.
"Trouble sleeping?"
Green eyes stare wide at Regina, who sat by the breakfast table with a glass of water of her own being babysat by her delicate fingers.
"You can say that." Emma replies, feeling at liberty to join the brunette after Regina pulls out a chair.
Regina takes a quick sip of her water, finding Emma's eyes staring right back at her, which makes her avoid the girl's gaze.
An awkward silence had settled between them, as it seemed to happen more often than not lately.
Their eyes find each other, even in the darkness of the kitchen for a minute or two.
"Emma-"
"Gina-"
Both women share a light chuckle. It seemed they had this encounter a lot nowadays.
"Go ahead," Regina nods, taking another sip of water.
Emma takes an equal sip before she licks her lips. "I just," she sighs. A beat passed before Emma could finally look Regina in the eye and say, "I really liked kissing you tonight."
Regina was hesitant, but as the corner of her lip lifted into a shy smile, she replied with, "I really liked kissing you as well." Her voice was a whisper, her eyes looked around the kitchen until they fell on Emma's hand which rested on top of hers. "Emma, don't," she quickly moved her hand, seeing the disappointment in the blonde's eyes. "We can't."
"Regina-"
"Emma-" A scoff escapes Regina's lips. Was this it? The time to be honest? They had been honest at the Orchard. Why not here? "We kissed. And as wonderful as it felt, it can never happen again." She swallowed down a hard lump, literally fighting back tears. "It is true I really like you, and that is a guilt I'll have to carry with me for the rest of my life. But we talked about this back at the Orchard. Whatever you think can happen between us, can't happen."
"I'm not expecting anything to happen, Regina." Emma replies, earning a glare from Regina. "Okay, maybe, I am after that kiss, and knowing that whatever is happening between us is very mutual, but…" She sighs and reaches for the brunette's other hand, no matter how much she tries to pull away. "Regina, I could talk to Audrey."
"No!" Regina shakes her head in a panic.
"I don't even have to mention it's you I like-"
"Emma-"
"Regina, I can't go on pretending like that kiss didn't mean anything when it meant everything to me." Emma whispers, her eyes piercing right through Regina's teary ones.
"Emma," Her voice was as soft as her touch that her hand cupping Emma's cheek provided. "Believe me. It meant everything and more to me as well. But, we absolutely can't take whatever is happening between us any further than tonight. I need you to understand that. And respect it. Please."
Emma stood to her feet as Regina did, watching the brunette make her way out of the kitchen.
Respect it. Above all, Emma respected her. And more than anything she wanted to respect Audrey. Their relationship. Their plans together.
But, how could she when she was already carrying around more on her back than she could possibly lift any longer without collapsing to the ground?
"So, you want me to just go on with my life, with Audrey as if I don't have any type of feelings for you at all?" Asked Emma, her eyes glossing over until they stung.
Regina's eyes closed and a single tear that she quickly wiped away ran past her cheek. Her back remained trained on the blonde, because Regina couldn't dare to look at her right now. If she did, she wouldn't care that her daughter was upstairs waiting for Emma's return. "It's for the best, Emma. I can't be held responsible for breaking my daughter's heart and shattering her dreams with the person she loves the most in this world."
"Is that really the reason? Or are you just too afraid to give yourself a chance with someone that can actually make you happy?"
Regina's jaw clenched so tight it hurt her teeth. Her eyes closed once again for about a minute. "Emma," this caused her to abruptly turn, it startled even Emma. "You and I will never happen. As much as I like you, because I do, I can't allow myself to feel anything more for someone who is forbidden to me." Her voice cracks a little. "My daughter means the world to me, and I would do anything to make sure she's happy. Because she deserves everything that's good in this world. Including you."
"On that we agree." Emma replies, blinking rapidly to fight back tears of her own. "Audrey does deserve everything that's good." She takes a few steps ahead, until she is closer to Regina and dares to place the back of her knuckles against the brunette's cheek. "But, so do you."
If only that were true.
If only Regina could bring it upon herself to believe that she deserved such a thing as a good thing.
The brunette's hand came up until it grabbed onto Emma's hand, only to push it away from her cheek. "If only that were true."
"It is." Emma whispers, her head leaning in a little closer. So close, their eyes can't look away from one another. "Regina, you deserve more good than anyone in this world. But, if you want me to go on pretending like we never kissed, like something growing between us doesn't happen every single time we're in a room together- I'm sorry, but I can't do that."
"Emma, please-" Regina's voice breaks once again as she's gasping upon feeling Emma's light touch against her cheek, followed by her bottom lip again. Her eyes dart into Emma's soul right through her own sea green eyes, and she's lost.
She just needed more of Regina's lips. She wanted another shared kiss, and she could go on breathing. Emma leaned in closer and closer, feeling Regina's breath catch in the back of her throat as her lips lightly brushed against the brunette's.
As much as Regina wanted to stay where she was, feeling the softness of Emma's familiar lips against her own, Regina found herself pulling away almost instantly after two seconds, but was surprised when she felt Emma's hand grab onto her wrist, which caused her to abruptly turn.
"Gina," Emma's voice was so pleading, it ached Regina's heart.
"Emma," her voice broke again, her eyes watered so much it blurred Regina's vision. "What we shared back at the Orchard will always remain in my heart. And there won't be a day where I won't wish that we could go back in time and relive it."
Tears sprung from Emma's red swollen eyes as they followed Regina's figure storming out of the kitchen.
Regina found herself eating breakfast early that morning, sipping on coffee this time, when her eyes moved over to Audrey, who entered the kitchen with the biggest smile on stretched out on her lips.
"Goooood moooorning!" The girl said in a sing-song type of tone, all while joining her mother for breakfast.
"Good morning, dear. Sleep well?" Asked Regina.
"With Emma by my side, I always sleep well." Audrey grins, not at all noticing the frown overpowering her mother's lips as she fixes herself a plate for breakfast.
"Where is Emma this morning?" Regina asks, looking around for any signs of the blonde.
"She went for a run, said she needed to clear her head. I don't know what's been going on with her." Audrey reaches for the plate of bacon, reaching for three slices.
"Whatever do you mean?" Regina's heart stops.
Was what happened between that obvious?
"Well," Audrey sighs as her cheeks grow a shade of pink. "It's stupid, really, because it really shouldn't bother me as much as it is."
"What is it?"
"Well… Last night, we were in bed and I tried to… You know…" Audrey nods her head, her cheeks crimson red and that gives Regina the indication of her meaning.
"Oh. I see." The brunette swallows down a hard lump that's jealousy until she feels it travel down the pit of her stomach.
"Anyway, she rejected me."
And just like the snap of a finger. Regina's heart accelerated inside of her chest- jealousy gone. "Did she?" Regina hated herself for almost wanting to smile.
She was jealous of her own daughter, for crying out loud!
"Am I being silly? I'm being silly, aren't I?" Audrey's face scrunches up. "Tell me, I'm being silly, mom."
Regina actually chuckles at this. "You are being silly. Emma loves you. You do know that, don't you?"
"Well, of course I know that. I trust her, it's just… It was a shock, you know?" Audrey's shoulders slump. "I mean, ever since we started seeing each other, Emma has never turned me down before. You can understand my surprise, right? See my side of things?"
Regina clears her throat, adjusting herself in her chair. "Well, dear, we did have an overwhelming day yesterday, and… Maybe Emma was just tired." She shrugs, taking a sip of her coffee once more.
"Who was tired?" Asks Emma, taking Audrey and Regina by surprise as she waltzes into the dining room, reaching for a slice of bacon and popping into her mouth.
"Nobody. Are you showering first or having breakfast?" Audrey smiles at her girlfriend.
"I think I'll shower first." Says Emma.
"Okay, hurry up. I want to get to the stores before it gets really crowded."
Emma salutes as she leaves the dining room and rushes upstairs, leaving mother and daughter alone once again. Which is a weight lifted off of her back for Regina.
"Going out today?" Asks Regina, smiling at her daughter.
Audrey nods before swallowing down a gulp of her orange juice. "I told Emma, I need new shoes, but really I want to look at party decorations."
"Party decorations? Whatever for, dear?" Regina chuckles.
"Well, Emma's birthday is in three days, and I'm actually glad we're alone, because I wanted to ask your permission if I could have a party for her here." Audrey chews on her bottom lip, awaiting her mother's response.
"Here?" Regina's eyes are wide. "Oh, Audrey, I don't know." She shakes her head.
"Please, mom!" Audrey begs. "It'll be just a small party."
"Sweetheart, I'd say yes in a heartbeat, but you know how your father hates having parties without him here." Regina's shoulders slump.
"I knew you would say that, so I already talked to dad." The girl grins. "I called him this morning, and he said as long as we keep the party small, it was fine with him."
"Did he now?" It didn't shock Regina that Leopold didn't deny Audrey of this. Why would he?
"He did. And I know that if anyone can throw a great party, it's you." Audrey gave her best puppy-dog eyes. "Come on, please?"
"Well, sweetheart, is this what Emma wants?" Regina knew that Emma hated the attention being on her, especially for her birthday to be made a fuss over.
"I know," Audrey rolls her eyes. "Emma hates having her birthday being turned into a big deal, but that's also why I am keeping it small. Private. Come on, please?" She begs again. "Pretty please, mom? This is important to me. It really is."
And that's when Regina saw it. The love Audrey had/felt for Emma, oozing out of her sparkling eyes.
"You really do love her, don't you?" She asks, and the very question pains her chest. Just like Audrey's immediate reply.
"Very much." Audrey reaches for her mother's hand across the table, giving it a firm squeeze. "So, will you help me surprise her?"
How could she say no?
"Of course, dear." Regina nods, defeatingly.
"Yay!" Audrey claps her hands in excitement, reaching for her mother's hand once again. "Great! Then, you can come along with us."
"What?" Regina blinks.
"Yeah! We can discreetly look around for whatever we'll need for the party, Emma will never know. We can have a mother/daughter day out of it, with Emma included, of course." Audrey chuckles.
"Oh, I don't know, sweetheart- I have a lot of things to do here at the house-"
"Mom, please." Audrey's shoulders slump again. "I'm sure Sidney can take care of whatever you need to do. Come on."
Once again, how could she say no? It seemed that life was torturing her enough to not have her way, even when her husband was gone for another full week. The one thing she needed more than anything right now was to get away from Emma. Avoid any temptation that was Emma Swan. Which obviously wasn't happening.
"Very well." Regina smiles, and Audrey couldn't be happier.